Thursday, April 24, 2014

Right-wingers will be backing away from Cliven Bundy in 3, 2, 1...

Remember how Nevada rancher Cliven Bundy appeared to be many right-wingers' hero in recent days? Especially Sean Hannity's? Well, upon reading a new report, I have a hunch these same right-wingers will be backing away from Mr. Bundy in approximately ::checks watch:: 3, 2, 1...

You see, Adam Nagourney of the New York Times just reported that Mr. Cliven Bundy uttered the following lovely words:

"I want to tell you one more thing I know about the Negro. ...and in front of that government house the door was usually open and the older people and the kids - and there is always at least a half a dozen people sitting on the porch - they didn't have nothing to do. They didn't have nothing for their kids to do. They didn't have nothing for their young girls to do.

And because they were basically on government subsidy, so now what do they do? They abort their young children, they put their young men in jail, because they never learned how to pick cotton. And I've often wondered, are they better off as slaves, picking cotton and having a family life and doing things, or are they better off under government subsidy? They didn't get no more freedom. They got less freedom."

After those comments, I can't even see Sean Hannity sticking by Cliven Bundy. Even though there's video evidence to showcase otherwise, Hannity may even resort to the, "Cliven who?" line. If only we were at the point where we could say, "Who's Sean Hannity?"...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/post-partisan/wp/2014/04/24/cliven-bundys-outrageous-comments-about-the-negro/

Kudos to Nebraska Governor Dave Heineman on voting rights

While many Republicans have attempted to suppress the vote of certain demographics which tend to vote Democratic the past few years, Nebraska Governor Dave Heineman appears to be going the opposite route.

Just recently, Heineman signed a bill which will allow online voter registration as of some point in 2015. He also signed a bill with an added amendment which would continue to allow same-day voter registration (election day) while election officials checked the validity of the voters' registrations.

With regard to this, Heineman said, "This is huge, a big step forward in terms of what we do with voter registration."

Secretary of State John Gale added that they're simply trying to make voter registration "more convenient and efficient."

While Governor Heineman and I may not see eye-to-eye on much, I sincerely appreciate his efforts to encourage and enable voting, as opposed to suppressing it. So, kudos to the Nebraska governor for doing just that! Hopefully, more Republican governors will follow his lead.

http://www.omaha.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20140331/NEWS/140339749/1707

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

George Will may have officially lost it. Whether or not he ever had "it" is quite debatable...

On Comedy Central's The Colbert Report last night, Stephen Colbert interviewed conservative commentator and regular centerfold for Bow Tie magazine - George Will. During this discussion, the two engaged in the following back-and-forth:

Colbert: "I'm a conservative, you're a conservative - I don't think anything should ever change."

Will: "That makes you a liberal."

Colbert: "That nothing should ever change? I didn't realize that. ... So why do liberals want things to stay the same?"

Will: "Because whatever exists should continue. In 1935, Social Security - do you drive a 1935 car? ... Do you watch a 1935 television set? But Social Security, liberals believe should go on just as it always has."

That's right, ladies and gentlemen - George Will contends that while conservatives want change, liberals want things to stay the same. No, I don't believe yesterday was opposite day.

First off, I'd like to define the terms "conservative" and "liberal" for Mr. Will.

::clears throat::

Conservative - "disposed to preserve existing conditions, institutions, etc., or to restore traditional ones, and to limit change."

Liberal - "favorable to progress or reform, as in political or religious affairs."

So, allow me to go through this again...

George Will's definition of "conservative": "Someone favoring change."

The actual definition of "conservative": "disposed to preserve the existing conditions, institutions, etc., or to restore traditional ones, and to limit change."


George Will's definition of "liberal": "Someone who wants things to stay the same."

The actual definition of "liberal": "favorable to progress or reform, as in political or religious affairs."


Moving beyond the technical definitions of the words, how about if we pertain George Will's theory to contemporary issues and see how that pans out, shall we?

Issue: Equal pay for women

Liberals: "We want to close the gender pay gap, so women get paid equally as men for the same job."

Conservatives: "Let's keep things as they are."

George Will: "You're a liberal if you don't think anything should ever change."


Issue: Equal marriage rights for homosexuals

Liberals: "We support gays and lesbians attaining equal marriage rights under the law."

Conservatives: "Let's keep things as they are."

George Will: "You're a liberal if you don't think anything should ever change."


Issue: Marijuana legalization

Liberals: "We support legalizing marijuana, at least for medical purposes, but also for recreational purposes as well."

Conservatives: "Let's keep things as they are."

George Will: "You're a liberal if you don't think anything should ever change."


Issue: Gun control

Liberals: "We support expanding background checks and further regulation to decrease gun violence."

Conservatives: "Let's keep things as they are."

George Will: "You're a liberal if you don't think anything should ever change."


Issues: Taxes

Liberals: "We should close the tax loopholes, so corporations can't get away with avoiding their taxes."

Conservatives: "Let's keep things as they are."

George Will: "You're a liberal if you don't think anything should ever change."


So, according to George Will, conservatives supported the passing of a healthcare reform bill known as Obamacare, even though they didn't. When President Obama yelled out, "Change you can believe in," what he was really saying was, "Let's keep things the way they always have been!" ...and lastly, being a Chicago Cubs die-hard as Mr. Will is, it would be "liberal" for the Chicago Cubs to continue their streak of not winning a World Series title since 1908. George Will's theory is accurate in one instance, though. While liberals want to conserve the environment, conservatives want to destroy it - just like George Will wants to destroy the actual definitions of the terms "conservative" and "liberal."

http://redalertpolitics.com/2014/04/23/george-will-stephen-colbert-liberals-ones-dont-want-change/

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/conservative?s=t

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/liberal?s=t

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

My updated Lulu and Amazon author pages (and updated Twitter page)

For anyone that's curious, I've updated my author pages on Lulu.com and Amazon.com. The one on Amazon is actually brand new. They can be found at the following URLs:

For my Lulu author page:

http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/thetaoofroz


For my Amazon author page:

http://www.amazon.com/author/craigrozniecki (or http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B00JBQ95LO)


Also, I've updated my Twitter page. To check that out, go here:

https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki


As always, if you have any questions, feel free to either respond to this blog entry or email me at CRozniecki@gmail.com. In either case, I'll try to reply as quickly as possible.


The post-book blues

I don't know if it's just me, but it seems like if/when I release a book just prior to a weekend, after feeling a sense of relief, proud, and excited, I'm bummed the start of that next workweek. I wonder if this is common at all when dealing with big projects. While the book(s) themselves caused quite a bit of stress and I may have some more white hairs because of them, for me at least, writing is/was the easy part. After celebrating the finished projects over the weekend, I now have to focus on marketing the work - which, for me at least, has never been easy. While I'm not as introverted as I once was, I do refer to myself as an extroverted introvert - I may be introverted at my core, but am typically comfortable in most social settings. However, this doesn't typically include talking about myself - my work, in particular. I've always felt a tad strange when doing that. It also might be due to feeling slightly vulnerable and fearing criticism. While us writers tend to be our own worst critics, unlike most other professionals, we tend to release our own thoughts and feelings unto the masses, and due to that, are more prone to feeling vulnerable as a result. There aren't many jobs that present such a full glimpse into one's mind and heart. So while I initially might feel quite content and proud when showing others a new book of mine, once they start flipping through the pages, I begin to realize I'm essentially sharing a complete view of myself and all of the oddities and craziness which resides in me.

Also, I wonder if I feel this momentary depression following the completion of a book (or books), because when I'm working on them, that's all I'm thinking about - there's a sense of direction. Once the books are completed, I'm at a temporary loss - asking myself, "Okay, so what now?"

It could also partially be that the accumulation of all the work has finally caught up to me, and it results in a few days of mental laziness to fully recover - almost like a work hangover. In any case, it seems to be a pretty regular trend with me after I release a book - so much so, that I've gone into over-analytic mode as a result. Fortunately, it appears as if I'm doing better today than I was doing yesterday, so hopefully that trend continues, I am able to get re-energized, and market my new books with vigor. Then again, after thinking about it, perhaps it was just a case of the Mondays...

Info on my Facebook business, Twitter, and Tumblr pages

Here's the URL to my Facebook business page. I update it fairly regularly, but still haven't put forth a great deal of effort yet in researching matters and attempting to make the most out of it. In any case, it can be perused here:

http://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki?ref=hl


Up next is my Twitter page. I'm still not 100% certain what I'm doing on there yet, but feel I'm gradually getting the hang of it and am up to 9,033 followers. I update it daily with many of my own tweets, but also by retweeting some others'. It can be found here:

https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki


Lastly, here's my Tumblr page, which I've neglected quite a bit recently, but if you're at all curious, you can find it at the following link:

http://www.tumblr.com/blog/rozzy81

Weekly update of my book information

For new readers (and regular ones, I suppose), here's some information pertaining to my books.

All eleven of my books can be purchased in paperback form at the following site (and others):

http://www.lulu.com/shop/search.ep?type=&keyWords=craig+rozniecki&x=7&y=5&sitesearch=lulu.com&q=

The nine books I've written and released in the past 3 years (yes, I've been on a roll) can be purchased for much cheaper in Kindle form at the following link:

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_22?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=craig%20rozniecki%20kindle&sprefix=craig+rozniecki+kindle%2Caps%2C228&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Acraig%20rozniecki%20kindle

As always, if you have any questions, feel free to ask me by either commenting on this blog or e-mailing me at CRozniecki@gmail.com. Unless I'm out of town, I'm typically very good at responding rather quickly.

Monday, April 21, 2014

My three new books can now be purchased for your Kindle

For just $2.99 a piece, my three new books can now be purchased for your Kindle at the following URLs:

The Kind-Hearted Smarta*s - Volume 2: The Wisecracks Continue (Uncensored Version) - http://www.amazon.com/The-Kind-Hearted-Smartass-Wisecracks-Uncensored-ebook/dp/B00JU3D5IM/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1398109553&sr=8-2&keywords=craig+rozniecki

The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck - Volume 2: The Wisecracks Continue (Censored Version) - http://www.amazon.com/The-Kind-Hearted-Smart-Aleck-Wisecracks-ebook/dp/B00JU3DFPK/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1398109553&sr=8-1&keywords=craig+rozniecki

LOL at the GOP - Volume 4: Guns, Jesus, Corporations, and Fetuses - http://www.amazon.com/LOL-GOP-Volume-Corporations-Fetuses-ebook/dp/B00JU3LGBU/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1398109553&sr=8-3&keywords=craig+rozniecki

My new book, "LOL at the GOP - Volume 4: Guns, Jesus, Corporations, and Fetuses," is out!

My new book, LOL at the GOP - Volume 4: Guns, Jesus, Corporations, and Fetuses is officially available for purchase. At 5% off, the paperback version is $9.98, and can be previewed/purchased at this link - http://www.lulu.com/shop/craig-rozniecki/lol-at-the-gop-volume-4-guns-jesus-corporations-and-fetuses/paperback/product-21580004.html

The Kindle version can be purchased for $2.99 at the following link within the next 12-24 hours - http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_2_7?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=craig+rozniecki&sprefix=craig+r%2Caps%2C261

If anyone has any questions, feel free to either comment on this blog or shoot me an email at CRozniecki@gmail.com. In case anyone is curious, here is a rundown of the contents pages of the book:

Contents

Introduction - Every Day is Like Christmas - p. 8

The Obamascare - p. 9

“Obamacare = apartheid” - p. 13

Papa John’s offers greed as a topping - p. 14

To Rush Limbaugh, the Pope + his criticism of capitalism = an Obama orgasm - p. 15

Romney in 47% denial - p. 18

Who’s to blame for the poor Hurricane Katrina response? Just ask Louisiana Republicans… - p. 20

John Boehner changes his name to John Boner - p. 22

When Facebook and stupid political comments collide - p. 24

Pat Robertson educates the world on magic gay rings - p. 31

Pat Robertson was a poet in a former life - p. 33

A Virginia pastor has found the “cure” for homosexuality - stroking horses! - p. 34

Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin simultaneously comes out against gay marriage and our military
- p. 34

To one group, gun rights = gay rights - p. 37

In Charleston, West Virginia, pack your floaties and guns before heading to the pool - p. 41

Blind people with guns? Yeah, that sounds like a good idea… - p. 42

“Don’t run with scissors!” Run with guns? That’s another story… - p. 47

Are guns in schools risky? Insurers say, “Well, duh.” - p. 48

“Guns don’t kill people; Skittles do!” - p. 50

Gotcha and Limperdick Square Off (an allegory of the George Zimmerman/Trayvon Martin case)
- p. 52

More Good Guys With Guns - p. 56

A Lesson on English and Death Threats - p. 61

The Story of Big T: The Man with a Big Truck and a Big Gun - p. 63

Juxtaposing Jesus and pro-gun bumper stickers - p. 66

Believers in the invisible, but not of the observable - p. 67

God spared Boehner as House Speaker…or something… - p. 70

Rick Perry, while singing “Jangle Balls,” signs the “Merry Christmas Bill” into law - p. 71

The GOP’s new Ten Commandments - p. 72

The Top Ten Things More Popular Than the Republican Party - p. 74

Over-analyzing Bush’s paintings - p. 75

To the Republican Party, Ronald Reagan has become like Chuck Norris - p. 78

Clarence Thomas smooth-talking a woman - p. 80

“If I Only Had a Brain” should be the theme song for Maine Republican Ken Fredette - p. 82

When it comes to women, Mitch McConnell can’t make up his mind - p. 83

According to Rick Santorum, the anti-abortion movement is one of “love” - p. 85

Apparently, liberals talk about abortion while in the shower - p. 87

Nothing spells s-e-x-i-s-t like “Fox and Friends” - p. 90

To Bill O’Reilly, marijuana = Russian roulette - p. 93

The Three Degrees of Benghazi - p. 96

Think Benghazi is the biggest political scandal in U.S. history? If so, then there’s a decent chance you
don’t know where it’s located… - p. 98

The South Carolina Republican Party calls the IRS “scandal” “Obama’s Gestapo” - p. 99

The GOP hates Obama so much… - p. 101

Racism is over!!! …so says the GOP… - p. 102

Republicans try to woo minorities with history of the semi-ancient variety - p. 104

The Essence of Trickle-Down Economics - p. 110

References - p. 114

Acknowledgements - p. 121

About the Author - p. 123

My new book, "The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck - Volume 2: The Wisecracks Continue," is out!

My new book, The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck - Volume 2: The Wisecracks Continue (Censored Version) is officially available for purchase. At 5% off, the paperback version is $13.30, and can be previewed/purchased at this link - http://www.lulu.com/shop/craig-rozniecki/the-kind-hearted-smart-aleck-volume-2-the-wisecracks-continue-censored-version/paperback/product-21574207.html

The Kindle version can be purchased for $2.99 at the following link within the next 12-24 hours - http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_2_7?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=craig+rozniecki&sprefix=craig+r%2Caps%2C261

If anyone has any questions, feel free to either comment on this blog or shoot me an email at CRozniecki@gmail.com. In case anyone is curious, here is a rundown of the contents pages of the book:

Contents

Introduction - Back With Wisecracks - p. 10

Chapter 1 - Attention Deficit Disorder
Wally World is a “shpeshal” kind of place - p. 11
Don’t look too good, ladies. You could get fired for it… - p. 12
A one-track mind - p. 14
Germaphobic Nymphomaniacs - p. 17
Have brown eyes? Then I should trust you, so says a study… - p. 19
High heel enthusiasts rejoice! They don’t cause bunions! - p. 21
Twitter improves writing like alcohol improves decision-making - p. 22
Who’s the most accurate? A psychic, a tarot card reader, or a weatherperson? - p. 25
Christopher Columbus paved the way for a geographically-challenged nation! - p. 26
If you like to swear, come to Ohio! - p. 27
A Rocky Mountain High - Literally! - p. 28
Defending the mustache - p. 30

Chapter 2 - THAT Guy
Too “pretty” to be a guy… - p. 32
The Top Ten Groupie Disqualifiers - p. 33

Chapter 3 - The “Bird” is Not the Word. The Word is “Sarcasm.”
I’m “just sayin’” that sayin’ “just sayin’” a great deal is fairly annoying… - p. 35
“I’m not an X, but…” - p. 36
“No offense” and “no disrespect” usually mean “offense” and “disrespect” - p. 37
“Get out of your mom’s basement!” - p. 37
“She’s so ‘hot!’” Are you sure about that? - p. 38
Writer says it’s “totally” okay to say “like.” Eh, no, it’s like totally not. - p. 39
Why is gamer now synonymous with nerd? - p. 43
Naming winter storms after random adjectives - p. 44

Chapter 4 - Headbangers Anonymous
I’ve got a beef with Meat Loaf - p. 47
“Seven Nation Army” has taken over the sports world - p. 49
A shocking study! Women find men with guitars attractive! Who knew?!? - p. 50
The Top Ten Kayne West-like Baby Names (North) - p. 50

Chapter 5 - Action! Take 33!
“My name’s Forrest, Forrest Hump.” - p. 52
If Jason Statham or Liam Neeson starred in a romantic comedy... - p. 52
When a film title makes no sense - The Last Exorcism Part II - p. 53
Hooked on Phonics obviously didn’t work for characters in horror films - p. 54
What if the trailers had been different for these movies? - p. 55

Chapter 6 - The Boob Tube
What’s the deal with thin people in fast-food commercials? - p. 58
Word has it that Planet Fitness gym is not a gym… - p. 59
Ryan Lochte has a way with words much like Lance Bass has a way with women – p. 60
Cable News(less) Networks - p. 62
Laffy Taffy has got nothing on Megyn Kelly of Fox News - p. 65

Chapter 7 - Fame, Fortune, and First-Rate Screw-Ups
Giving thanks for other people… - p. 67
Celebrities’ New Year’s Resolutions - p. 68

Chapter 8 - Big Sticks and Balls
Bo Pelini’s Greatest F-ing Hits - p. 70
Fans go dumb with loyalty - p. 72
Carl Pelini + Marijuana = Bo Pelini’s Saving Grace - p. 73
Joe Theismann man-crushing on LeBron James - p. 73
Awkward Moments with Brent Musburger - p. 75
Bowler strikes himself with a bullet - p. 76
Rick Reilly earns brownie points by misquoting his father-in-law - p. 77
The referee’s quote was, “in essence,” long-winded, yet empty - p. 78
ESPN headline - “RG III does jumping jacks for fans” - p. 79
The Jacksonville Jaguars, like everyone else, should listen to Chuck Norris - p. 79
According to a Yahoo writer, Tim Tebow doesn’t even need to step on the field to help a team - p. 81
God’s conversation with ESPN about Tim Tebow - p. 82
Jason Collins and Tim Tebow are about as similar as Hawaii and Uranus - p. 85
Strange Olympic Sports - p. 88

Chapter 9 - A Special Kind of Stupid
A partially black white supremacist gets arrested - p. 90
Homosexuality is all about the magnets, so says a Nigerian student… - p. 92
Detecting gays through tests - brought to you by the gulf nations and ignorance - p. 94
Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson Comes Out Against Coming Out - p. 95
CCTV (China Central Television) goes where no man has gone before and places a positive spin
on smog - p. 99

Chapter 10 - I Approve This Message
The 24/7 Partisan People - p. 102
The Lazy American - p. 104
Liking the Affordable Care Act more than Obamacare - p. 105
Bob Woodward fears paper airplanes, coloring books, Disney movies, and apologies - p. 106
Australia’s Sarah Palin makes the actual Palin look smart - p. 107
An affair to remember! …if there was one… - p. 111
Petraeus certainly was “all in”… - p. 113
The Top Ten Anthony Weiner Headlines - p. 113
Tweeting His Bulge (a short story about Anthony Weiner’s/Carlos Danger’s sexting ventures) - p. 114
What if other politicians sexted like Weiner? - p. 118
Congress Getting Drunk - I Vote Aye! - p. 119
Powerless Government + A Bong = God - p. 124

Chapter 11 - The Antithesis of Common Sense and Logic
“It’s not science; it’s the truth!” - p. 127
Taking scripture and song literally… - p. 131
A little Messiah - p. 133
I smell bacon - no, it’s not the cops. The pig I smell is Pastor Mark Driscoll. - p. 134

Chapter 12 - Santa Claus Wants Some Egg Nog and Herb Brownies
Fox News celebrates their annual War on Christmas - p. 137
Christmas with a Ben Stein-ian twist - p. 139

Chapter 13 - Hearts, Emotions and Sh*t/Crap
God’s match in ChristianMingle.com is a facepalm - p. 142
In love with yourself? If so, you’re in luck! - p. 144
On Valentine’s Day, “All you need is love,” or something… - p. 146
A Polish Valentine’s Day - p. 147
Men can read women’s minds like newborns can read hieroglyphics - p. 150
So, this is what an angry personal ad sounds like… - p. 151
Looking for the perfect man, ladies? Well, look no more! - p. 155
An author advises people to lie and cheat on their spouses! - p. 157
The Rules of Cheating - p. 160

Chapter 14 - Sexy Time
Sex = Confusion - p. 168
Men and women really are from different planets - p. 170
Cosmo knows how to give sex advice like yes-men know how to say no - p. 172
A woman takes the phrase “gets around” to a whole new level - p. 174

References - p. 177

Acknowledgements - p. 189

About the Author - p. 190

My new book, "The Kind-Hearted Smarta*s - Volume 2: The Wisecracks Continue," is out!

My new book, The Kind-Hearted Smarta*s - Volume 2: The Wisecracks Continue (Uncensored Version) is officially available for purchase. At 5% off, the paperback version is $13.30, and can be previewed/purchased at this link - http://www.lulu.com/shop/craig-rozniecki/the-kind-hearted-smartass-volume-2-the-wisecracks-continue-uncensored-version/paperback/product-21574154.html

The Kindle version can be purchased for $2.99 at the following link within the next 12-24 hours - http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_2_7?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=craig+rozniecki&sprefix=craig+r%2Caps%2C261

If anyone has any questions, feel free to either comment on this blog or shoot me an email at CRozniecki@gmail.com. In case anyone is curious, here is a rundown of the contents pages of the book:

Contents

Introduction - Back With Wisecracks - p. 10

Chapter 1 - Attention Deficit Disorder
Wally World is a “shpeshal” kind of place - p. 11
Don’t look too good, ladies. You could get fired for it… - p. 12
A one-track mind - p. 14
Germaphobic Nymphomaniacs - p. 17
Have brown eyes? Then I should trust you, so says a study… - p. 19
High heel enthusiasts rejoice! They don’t cause bunions! - p. 21
Twitter improves writing like alcohol improves decision-making - p. 22
Who’s the most accurate? A psychic, a tarot card reader, or a weatherperson? - p. 25
Christopher Columbus paved the way for a geographically-challenged nation! - p. 26
If you like to swear, come to Ohio! - p. 27
A Rocky Mountain High - Literally! - p. 28
Defending the mustache - p. 30

Chapter 2 - THAT Guy
Too “pretty” to be a guy… - p. 32
The Top Ten Groupie Disqualifiers - p. 33

Chapter 3 - The “Bird” is Not the Word. The Word is “Sarcasm.”
I’m “just sayin’” that sayin’ “just sayin’” a great deal is fairly annoying… - p. 35
“I’m not an X, but…” - p. 36
“No offense” and “no disrespect” usually mean “offense” and “disrespect” - p. 37
“Get out of your mom’s basement!” - p. 37
“She’s so ‘hot!’” Are you sure about that? - p. 38
Writer says it’s “totally” okay to say “like.” Eh, no, it’s like totally not. - p. 39
Why is gamer now synonymous with nerd? - p. 43
Naming winter storms after random adjectives - p. 44

Chapter 4 - Headbangers Anonymous
I’ve got a beef with Meat Loaf - p. 47
“Seven Nation Army” has taken over the sports world - p. 49
A shocking study! Women find men with guitars attractive! Who knew?!? - p. 50
The Top Ten Kayne West-like Baby Names (North) - p. 50

Chapter 5 - Action! Take 33!
“My name’s Forrest, Forrest Hump.” - p. 52
If Jason Statham or Liam Neeson starred in a romantic comedy... - p. 52
When a film title makes no sense - The Last Exorcism Part II - p. 53
Hooked on Phonics obviously didn’t work for characters in horror films - p. 54
What if the trailers had been different for these movies? - p. 55

Chapter 6 - The Boob Tube
What’s the deal with thin people in fast-food commercials? - p. 58
Word has it that Planet Fitness gym is not a gym… - p. 59
Ryan Lochte has a way with words much like Lance Bass has a way with women – p. 60
Cable News(less) Networks - p. 62
Laffy Taffy has got nothing on Megyn Kelly of Fox News - p. 65

Chapter 7 - Fame, Fortune, and First-Rate Screw-Ups
Giving thanks for other people… - p. 67
Celebrities’ New Year’s Resolutions - p. 68

Chapter 8 - Big Sticks and Balls
Bo Pelini’s Greatest F-ing Hits - p. 70
Fans go dumb with loyalty - p. 72
Carl Pelini + Marijuana = Bo Pelini’s Saving Grace - p. 73
Joe Theismann man-crushing on LeBron James - p. 73
Awkward Moments with Brent Musburger - p. 75
Bowler strikes himself with a bullet - p. 76
Rick Reilly earns brownie points by misquoting his father-in-law - p. 77
The referee’s quote was, “in essence,” long-winded, yet empty - p. 78
ESPN headline - “RG III does jumping jacks for fans” - p. 79
The Jacksonville Jaguars, like everyone else, should listen to Chuck Norris - p. 79
According to a Yahoo writer, Tim Tebow doesn’t even need to step on the field to help a team - p. 81
God’s conversation with ESPN about Tim Tebow - p. 82
Jason Collins and Tim Tebow are about as similar as Hawaii and Uranus - p. 85
Strange Olympic Sports - p. 88

Chapter 9 - A Special Kind of Stupid
A partially black white supremacist gets arrested - p. 90
Homosexuality is all about the magnets, so says a Nigerian student… - p. 92
Detecting gays through tests - brought to you by the gulf nations and ignorance - p. 94
Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson Comes Out Against Coming Out - p. 95
CCTV (China Central Television) goes where no man has gone before and places a positive spin
on smog - p. 99

Chapter 10 - I Approve This Message
The 24/7 Partisan People - p. 102
The Lazy American - p. 104
Liking the Affordable Care Act more than Obamacare - p. 105
Bob Woodward fears paper airplanes, coloring books, Disney movies, and apologies - p. 106
Australia’s Sarah Palin makes the actual Palin look smart - p. 107
An affair to remember! …if there was one… - p. 111
Petraeus certainly was “all in”… - p. 113
The Top Ten Anthony Weiner Headlines - p. 113
Tweeting His Bulge (a short story about Anthony Weiner’s/Carlos Danger’s sexting ventures) - p. 114
What if other politicians sexted like Weiner? - p. 118
Congress Getting Drunk - I Vote Aye! - p. 119
Powerless Government + A Bong = God - p. 124

Chapter 11 - The Antithesis of Common Sense and Logic
“It’s not science; it’s the truth!” - p. 127
Taking scripture and song literally… - p. 131
A little Messiah - p. 133
I smell bacon - no, it’s not the cops. The pig I smell is Pastor Mark Driscoll. - p. 134

Chapter 12 - Santa Claus Wants Some Egg Nog and Herb Brownies
Fox News celebrates their annual War on Christmas - p. 137
Christmas with a Ben Stein-ian twist - p. 139

Chapter 13 - Hearts, Emotions and Sh*t/Crap
God’s match in ChristianMingle.com is a facepalm - p. 142
In love with yourself? If so, you’re in luck! - p. 144
On Valentine’s Day, “All you need is love,” or something… - p. 146
A Polish Valentine’s Day - p. 147
Men can read women’s minds like newborns can read hieroglyphics - p. 150
So, this is what an angry personal ad sounds like… - p. 151
Looking for the perfect man, ladies? Well, look no more! - p. 155
An author advises people to lie and cheat on their spouses! - p. 157
The Rules of Cheating - p. 160

Chapter 14 - Sexy Time
Sex = Confusion - p. 168
Men and women really are from different planets - p. 170
Cosmo knows how to give sex advice like yes-men know how to say no - p. 172
A woman takes the phrase “gets around” to a whole new level - p. 174

References - p. 177

Acknowledgements - p. 189

About the Author - p. 190

Saturday, April 19, 2014

I've received proof copies to three new books

I've received the proof copies to my new books The Kind-Hearted Smarta*s - Volume 2: The Wisecracks Continue (Uncensored Version), The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck - Volume 2: The Wisecracks Continue (Censored Version), and LOL at the GOP - Volume 4: Guns, Jesus, Corporations, and Fetuses. Upon first glance, they all look pretty good, but I'll have to go through each one individually to make 100% certain the quality of the products is up to my standards. If all goes well, the three books should become available in both paperback and kindle form on Monday. I've also completed the cover for my fourth upcoming book, LOL at the GOP - Volume 5: You Can't Spell "Forgot To Take Their Crazy Pills" Without "Tea Party." So, after my proofreader proofreads the book and I edit the errors she spots, I'll send away for a proof copy of that as well. Hopefully that book will become available in the next week and a half or so. Well, that's the news for now. I'll likely post another such blog on Monday once the books become available, with further details. Stay tuned...

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Another book update

It appears as if my two new books The Kind-Hearted Smarta*s - Volume 2: The Wisecracks Continue (Uncensored Version) and The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck - Volume 2: The Wisecracks Continue (Censored Version) should arrive either tomorrow or Saturday, which means they should become available, at the latest, on Monday. LOL at the GOP - Volume 4: Guns, Jesus, Corporations, and Fetuses should arrive here either Saturday or Monday, which means that too should be available next week sometime (unless I change my mind and decide to release both LOL at the GOP books at the same time). While my proofreader is reading LOL at the GOP - Volume 5: You Can't Spell "Forgot To Take Their Crazy Pills" Without "Tea Party," I've finished both the front and back covers. So, whenever she finishes proofreading that book, all I'll need to do is go over the mistakes she found, edit them, and then the book will be good to go. Hopefully she'll get the proofreading done this weekend, which would mean that the book would likely be available for purchase early next week.

Well, until my proofreader finishes her job, my work is now done for the week, so I best be off to enjoy the nice weather. I'll be sure to continually update readers on any new happenings with regard to the four books in the coming days and weeks. Stay tuned, and have a great upcoming weekend!

Conservatives keep pushing for women's votes with the "Boats 'N Hoes" PAC

The GOP's "outreach" for the women's vote is getting to the point where they've dug themselves such a hole, some people have walked by and mistaken it for the Grand Canyon (yes, these people may have been drunk, but still...).

The latest GOP gaffe with regard to the War on Women comes courtesy of Shaun Nowacki - comptroller for Blakemore & Associates - who registered a PAC with the Texas Ethics Commission earlier this month. What is the name of this PAC? The Boats 'N Hoes PAC. No, that's not a joke. While it has been reported that this PAC will be dissolved today, that still doesn't detract from the fact that it existed and is just another in a stunningly long line of GOP blunders with regard to women.

Given this PAC's name and the GOP's vile history when it comes to women's rights, here are the names of some other likely future GOP PACs:

- Bitc*es 'N Hoes

- Birth Control Sluts

- Trampy McTrampington

- Make Me a Sandwich

- Men's Brains Are Twice the Size of Yours

- Like Pregnancy is Hard

- We've Gotta Fight For Our Right to Make More...Than Women

- Binders Full of Women

- Shutting That Whole Thing Down

- Suck It


It's really a wonder what the GOP will do if (and when) we elect a woman as president in 2016...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/16/boats-n-hoes-pac_n_5163194.html

More good news about Obamacare according to the latest Gallup poll

For as consistently negative as the media was with regard to the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare) toward the tail-end of last year (and deservedly so), they've been just as consistently positive with regard to it in the past 2-3 weeks (with the exception being Fox News, of course...). Well, the good news continued to pour in yesterday with the release of the latest Gallup poll.

This very poll released the following results:

- "There has been a statistically significant and meaningfully large decline in the percentage of uninsured U.S. adults. The uninsured rate peaked at 18.0% in the third quarter of 2013, the highest rate measured since Gallup Healthways began tracking in 2008. The uninsured rate has been consistently trending downward since then, falling to 15.0% in March and further to 12.9% for April 1-14 polling. If the rate for the first half of April holds throughout the month, it will be the lowest monthly uninsured rate in 76 months of tracking."

- "The uninsured rate within all major racial and ethnic groups has declined since late 2013. However, not all groups are benefiting equally. The uninsured rate among Hispanics has dropped 4.4 percentage points to 37%, but this rate is still, by far, the highest across major racial and ethnic subgroups."

- "Half of newly insured Americans got their insurance through an exchange. Gallup asked Americans who said they got a new policy in 2014 whether they had a policy in 2013. Four percent of Americans did not have a policy previously and became insured for the first time this year. Of these Americans, about half (2.1%) say they purchased their plan through a federal or state exchange. The other half of newly insured Americans got insurance through other sources, such as an employer, Medicaid expansion, or private insurance companies.

- "The newly insured skew slightly younger, but not healthier. Young and healthy Americans are an important target in public outreach efforts for enrollment, because they essentially subsidize the cost of insurance for those who are older and less healthy. Frank Newport's analysis of Gallup Daily tracking data shows that newly insured Americans are fairly evenly distributed across 18- to 64-year-olds, but skew slightly to moderately toward younger Americans aged 18 to 29 years. Using a measure of self-reported health status, Gallup found that the the newly insured in 2014 mirror the health of the overall population, meaning they are neither sicker nor healthier. Not surprisingly, the newly insured also tend to have lower incomes and are more likely to be Democrats than the general U.S. adult population."

The first two of the listed results are excellent bits of news. No matter how certain media personalities want to slice it, the uninsured rate decreasing amongst all racial and ethnic groups, and decreasing in the general population from 18.0% to 12.9% (5.1%) in a fairly short amount of time is a very good thing for this country.

The latter two results aren't as obviously positive as the first two, but when looking at them a bit more closely, it's hard to see them in anything but a positive light. The reason for that is, remember how awful the healthcare.gov website was at first? For a while there, it may have been more accurate if the site had changed its URL to healthcare.glitch. So, for half of newly insured Americans to have attained their insurance through an exchange is quite an achievement. Also, for quite a while there, it appeared as if 18- to 29-year-olds were going to be far outnumbered by elders in purchasing new healthcare plans, which would have made things increasingly difficult when it comes to keeping healthcare options even semi-affordable. So, once again, for the newly insured to be "evenly distributed" across all age ranges, and to even "skew slightly" toward the younger individuals, is quite a pleasant surprise as well.

It's quite unfortunate that this seemingly constant stream of good news with regard to the Affordable Care Act is so partisan and divisive. This shouldn't be a liberal vs. conservative or a Republican vs. Democrat issue. This should be about creating a healthier United States of America - about covering people of all ages, regardless of their age, race, gender, or health history, about trying to prevent families from going bankrupt due to health problems and a lack of coverage, and about striving to continually improve our healthcare system, and with that, the health of the people at large. This law isn't perfect, but it's a step in the right direction, and politicians need to stop worrying about their next election and instead worry about doing the job they were elected by the people to do - to represent them and help improve their quality of lives.

http://thrive.gallup.com/2014/04/is-affordable-care-act-working.html?m=1

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

The GOP may want to rethink its anti-Obamacare strategy

Since the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare) was signed by President Obama in 2010, the Republican Party has been on a mission to ultimately destroy it - through negative ad campaigns, talking points and promises leading up to election day, 50+ failed repeals, the government shutdown, etc. However, while these seemingly constant attacks on the new healthcare law had gained some traction when it came to public polling, it didn't impact the Supreme Court's decision to uphold it nor any component of the law itself. ...and not only that, unfortunately for the Republicans, since surpassing its goal of 7 million sign-ups by March 31st, Obamacare has been receiving much more positive press, and this can be seen in recent poll numbers. While the Republican Party may have been able to win over some voters during late last year with healthcare.gov's gliched site and botched roll-out, the tide appears to be turning, and GOP candidates may need to find something else to run on in the coming elections than just, "If you vote for us, we'll repeal Obamacare!" Even if the press hadn't been so positive with regard to the healthcare law of late, I'd respond to such points with, "Right... Because when you fail 50 times at that, I'm supposed to believe 51 will be a winner!"

Reuters/Ipsos has been releasing a monthly poll regarding the public's opinion on healthcare. In February, only about 25% of respondents believed that Democrats had a better healthcare plan than Republicans. That number increased to 31% in March, and now 32% in April. On the other side of the aisle, meanwhile, 24% of respondents believed the Republican Party had a better healthcare plan than Democrats in the month of March (net -7%), and that's decreased to 18% in April (net -14%).

With regard to the results, pollster Chris Jackson said the following:

"Democrats have not managed to have a huge lead over Republicans so much as Republicans have managed to damage their own position and stay behind Democrats. That's because people don't view the Republican Party as standing for any particular healthcare system."

In any case, with: ACA enrollments eclipsing the 7.5 million mark; a recent CBO report noting that premiums are more affordable than had been anticipated and that the bill will also cost less than had been predicted; another report claiming that more insurance companies, which had been skeptical about the law at first, are looking to join the party next year, which could also decrease prices; not to mention the positive news stories with regard to the bill, I have a hunch the ACA's approval numbers will continue to climb, and with that, the Republican Party will need to find another strategy to appeal to voters on election day. If history is any indication, that's not going to happen. But if the before-mentioned ACA trends continue, what the GOP may wind up doing is telling voters, "Obamacare was our idea back in the '90s and he stole it! He's a thief! Vote for us and we'll impeach Obama for stealing Obamacare from the Republican Party!"

http://www.reuters.com/article/2014/04/15/us-usa-healthcare-poll-idUSBREA3E21220140415