Monday, October 24, 2016

Clinton vs. Trump - Round 3: When a Man Became a Baby

Chris Wallace: "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the third and final presidential debate. I'd like everyone in our audience to place duct tape over their mouths and around their hands for the rest of the debate, but you may now applaud the two most unpopular presidential candidates in this country's history, Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump."

Audience: Standing golf-clap

Wallace: "Thank you. Now let's get right to it, shall we? There's been much talk of the Supreme Court and how the two of you may very well be able to shape SCOTUS for decades to come. So what are your thoughts on the Supreme Court, the justices you may potentially bring to the table, and what you hope SCOTUS looks like in the future. Secretary Clinton, we'll start with you."

Hillary Clinton: "Thanks, Chris, and thanks to the University of Nevada-Las Vegas for having this debate. Give me an R, an E, a B, an E, an L, an S. What's that spell? Rebels!"

Wallace: "Secretary Clinton, please..."

Clinton: "Sorry, Chris. I just feel a special connection with our audience tonight. Don't you feel that? Donald, do you feel that?"

Donald Trump: "I'm not going to answer that gotcha question. I've promised my advisors, in other words, myself, that I will not interrupt you for the first 20 minutes of this debate."

Clinton: "Okay then. Well, to answer your question, Chris, moving forward, I think it's incredibly important for us to make certain our Supreme Court justices protect the rights of women, of the LGBT community, of minorities, of every man, woman, and child in this great country!"

Wallace: "Mr. Trump..."

Trump: "Abortion is wrong, okay? Like bigly big league wrong. It's terrible what's happening in this country and what Mrs. Clinton wants to continue doing. On babies' due dates, doctors are literally ripping these babies from women's special lady parts I like to grab, and..."

Wallace: "So, birth?"

Trump: "No, death. These doctors are ripping these babies out of their mothers' vaginas."

Wallace: "Yes, so birth..."

Trump: "Have you ever had an abortion, Chris? Do you even know what abortions are? I almost had an abortion one time, and believe me, it was not pretty."

Wallace: "You had an abortion?"

Trump: "No. I said I almost did, but then someone read to me from the book of Two Corinthians, and I told them, 'You know what? You're right. I will have this baby.'"

Wallace: "So, you're a woman?"

Trump: "Hey, nobody respects women more than I do; believe me."

Wallace: "Please stop laughing, audience. I kindly asked you to place duct tape over your mouths. Donald, please answer my question about the Supreme Court..."

Trump: "When I become president, this court is going to be so supreme, I mean, like, supremely supreme, so very very supreme."

Wallace: "Where do each of you stand with regard to the 2nd Amendment and whether or not strengthening gun laws in the country infringes on those constitutional rights? Secretary Clinton, we'll again start with you..."

Clinton: "That's a good question, Chris. First off, I stand by the 2nd Amendment and law-abiding citizens' right to gun ownership. However, we need to make it more difficult for non-law-abiding citizens to purchase firearms, and therefore decrease gun violence in this country."

Wallace: "Mr. Trump, how do you feel about Secretary Clinton's answer and what is your viewpoint on the matter?"

Trump: "She's wrong, Chris."

Wallace: "Wrong?"

Trump: "Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong! More guns equals less gun violence. That's a fact. I read it on a Facebook meme. It's just like more fast food equals less obesity, more sex equals less babies, and more books equals less knowledge. The only way we'll know that we are a 2nd Amendment nation is if babies are born with guns."

Wallace: "Excuse me?"

Trump: "Once doctors rip babies out of women's giant holes and these babies are armed with AK-47s, that's when we'll know this country stands behind the 2nd Amendment."

Wallace: "Let's now talk about immigration. Mr. Trump, why do you feel your policy ideas regarding immigration are better than Secretary Clinton's?"

Trump: "Hold on a moment while I take things down a notch and try to whisper to the audience and people at home what I normally scream and yell."

Wallace: "Why?"

Trump: "Quiet down, Chris. I'm medistrating."

Wallace: "Do you mean meditating?"

Trump: "I said shut up, please."

Wallace: "We really don't have time for this, Donald."

Trump: "Deep breaths, in and out, calmly talk about Mexican rapists in a nice way..."

Wallace: "What are you blathering about? Whatever. Secretary Clinton, we'll turn to you. Why do you think your policy ideas on immigration are better than Mr. Trump's?"

Clinton: "Because they are, Chris. ...and while we're on that subject, Vladimir Putin..."

Trump: "Nice pivot..."

Clinton: "Thank you. So, how does it feel to be Putin's puppet?"

Trump: "It feels great. I mean, you're the puppet! You're the puppet! You're the puppet!"

Clinton: "What, if you say that phrase three times, does a puppet magically appear? Oh, wait, there you are!"

Wallace: "Settle down, you two. Well, while we're on the topic, what are each of your thoughts on Russia's alleged hacking of the DNC? Secretary Clinton, we'll start with you..."

Clinton: "Two words, Chris: It's sucked."

Trump: "Look at the WikiLeaks leaks, people! Crooked Hillary has blasted Catholics, progressives, other kinds of people..."

Clinton: "Even if those leaks were true, and I'm not saying they are, let's look at all the people you've gone after during your campaign: Women, 'the' blacks, Mexicans, Muslims, the media, LGBTs, POWs, Gold Star families, fact-checkers, all your primary opponents, the disabled..."

Trump: "That last one is not true. I was just bringing awareness to the guy's disability."

Clinton: "...and what's his disability called?"

Trump: "Uh, Shakeritis"

Clinton: "Wrong!"

Trump: "Whatever"

Clinton: "Back to Putin... Isn't it just a little bit strange Donald over here spends so much time defending a Russian dictator?"

Trump: "Look, I don't know Putin. Putin who? Vladimir? I don't know that guy. We speak highly of each other, the only texts we send each other say 'BFF,' I have a poster of him shirtless on a horse above my bed, but that's where it begins and ends, people, believe me."

Wallace: "Okay. On that note, Mr. Trump, since our last debate, a dozen women have come forward alleging you of behaving inappropriately around them. You've contended that what they're saying isn't true. Who are we to believe and why?"

Trump: "I can't help that women want me. Look at this face, this hair, the white around my eyes. Who wouldn't want that? In any case, I don't remember most of these women, so like my grandfather used to tell me, 'If you don't remember it happening, it never happened, believe me.' By the way, where I'm from, grabbing women by the knockers is a polite way of saying, 'Hi, how are the kids?' So, even if some of the allegations are true, I was just being a gentleman."

Clinton: "A gentleman? What in the hell is wrong with you? We're running to become the Commander-in-Chief, not the Groper-in-Chief!"

Trump: "Such a nasty woman. I often times like nasty women, but there's good nasty and bad nasty, and Crooked Hillary is the worst kind of nasty imaginable - bigly nasty. Period!"

Clinton: "Good, that means you won't grope me too, since you seem to just base it on a woman's looks..."

Trump: "I never said that."

Clinton: "You said about one of your allegers, 'Just look at her...,' insinuating you wouldn't so much as think about touching her because she wasn't physically attractive."

Trump: "I was just talking about her persona."

Clinton: "Really? When a beautiful woman walks into a bar and you say, 'Whoa! Look at that!' what you're really saying is, 'She has such a hot persona!'? I don't think so!"

Trump: "Bitch..."

Clinton: "Excuse me?!?"

Wallace: "Break it up, you two... Now, let's lighten the mood a little bit here. Elections - are they rigged or not? Secretary Clinton, we'll start with you..."

Clinton: "No"

Wallace: "Is that all you have to say on the topic?"

Clinton: "Yes, a big fat no!"

Wallace: "Very well. Mr. Trump, do you care to weigh in on this subject?"

Trump: "Elections are rigged, folks. Everything is rigged. The World Series is rigged. Do you think it's just some crazy coincidence the Chicago Cubs, after 70 years, made the World Series in Obama's last year as president?"

Wallace: "President Obama is actually a White Sox fan..."

Trump: "Exactly! Rigged!"

Wallace: "So, if you happen to lose this election, which you likely will, will you accept the result?"

Trump: "Only if I win, Chris..."

Wallace: "But what if you lose?"

Trump: "There can be no losing."

Wallace: "What if you were the head coach of the Chicago Bears and you lost the Super Bowl to the Denver Broncos, 49-0. Would you accept the result then?"

Trump: "Wouldn't happen, just like I won't lose on November 28th..."

Wallace: "The election is actually on November 8th."

Trump: "Don't listen to him, folks. That's just the liberal media over at Fox News trying to suppress my vote again. The election is on Monday, November 28th, people. Fact! Google it!"

Wallace: "Whatever you say. Secretary Clinton, would you care to chime in here?"

Clinton: :: silence ::

Wallace: "Secretary Clinton?"

Clinton: :: silence ::

Wallace: "Secretary Clinton? I'm going to count to three and then I'll be forced to move on to the next topic..."

Clinton: "I'm sorry, Chris. I went speechless for a minute there. Please give me another several minutes to collect my thoughts..."

Wallace: "We don't really have time for that, so let's move on to your closing statements. Mr. Trump, we'll start with you..."

Trump: "What I'm about to tell you will be the best closing statement like ever. It's going to be such a great closing statement, you're not going to be able to believe it. It'll make all other closing statements come across as really, and I mean really stupid. It's going to be so fantastic, people all over the galaxy will be plagiarizing this closing statement, wanting to make it their own. I know closing statements, folks; I have the best closing statements. I..."

Wallace: "...and your time is up. Secretary Clinton..."

Clinton: "Due to how well this debate went, just like the other two, I'd like to spend my time during this closing statement shimmying to the song 'We Are the Champions,' so I'm going to do that."

Trump: "Hey, I didn't get to the greatest closing statement in history!"

Wallace: "I'm sorry, but similar to your campaign, our time is up. Goodnight, everyone!"

Sunday, October 23, 2016

Trump's Gettysburg Address

"Four lies and seven mistresses ago I brought forth so many, like lots of many things on this great bordering country of Russia, and have always been dedicated to grabbing women by the pussy without proposition.

Now we're engaged in a yuge war against facts. Mm... Big words, big league words, bigliest words. Have I told anyone here I have the best words? Because I do, believe me.

Anyway, as it says in Two Corinthians, 'Being vain is kind of cool.' Yeah, you know what I'm talkin' about. I'll be devoted to this country like I have been to my three wives and hundreds of women on the side, I guarantee it. It's about freedom, folks - about this government being voted in by the people, ruling the people, and not representing the people. Amen, or whatever."

Thanks, readers! We just set another record!

Well, that was a nice surprise. On the day my new book, LOL at the GOP - Volume 6: Orange Is the New Crazy, came out, we set a record for blog views over a 24-hour period, with 1,267. The previous record was 1,114. Thanks to all my readers, listeners, and followers! I hope you enjoy the new book and hope that we can get through this crazed election season without seriously considering moving to Canada!

Saturday, October 22, 2016

More information about my new book, "Orange Is the New Crazy"

As I noted a little bit ago, my latest book, LOL at the GOP - Volume 6: Orange Is the New Crazy, is now available.

You can purchase it on paperback for $13.00 at this link:

You can purchase it on your Kindle for $2.99 here:

Here's a preview of what you can expect from the book. I'll now provide the table of contents, an introduction, and a fictional foreward from one Donald J. Trump. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to post a comment on my blog, reach me on Twitter (, or email me at

Introduction - p. 7

A Fictional Foreward - p. 8

The GOP's job interview with Donald Trump - p. 9

The new "Hippy Dippy" weatherman - p. 12

Ted Cruz and Galileo are as similar as Madonna and myself - p. 14

Running for the future president, Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker doesn't want to talk about the future... - p. 16

Ted Cruz tries his hand at comedy… - p. 19

Louisiana's alternative to Planned Parenthood? Dentists! - p. 23

What do Ted Cruz and Shaggy have in common? They’re both known for saying, “It wasn’t me.” - p. 26

Drumpf apparently knows not what he says... - p. 28

Jeb likes going both ways... - p. 30

Potential future jobs for Donald Trump - p. 31

“Wanting to Drink with an Underage Muslim” brought to you by Marco Rubio - p. 33

Ben Carson knows Middle East geography like my Siberian Husky knows jive - p. 35
A gotcha question for Donald Trump: "If 'is' is 'profiling,' what is 'is'?" - p. 36

"The answer is, 'One who gives advice.'" Ben Carson: "What is I don't know?" - p. 39

The Ineloquence of Donald Trump - p. 41

Apparently Jeb isn’t the smart Bush… - p. 44

GOP Presidential Candidates' New Year's Resolutions - p. 46

"How to Be a Dick" by Donald Trump - p. 48

The Top Ten Things Donald Trump's Ex-Wives Have Found Themselves Thinking During His Campaign - p. 51

Pushing for women's votes with the "Boats 'N Hoes" PAC - p. 52

GOP candidates' personal ads - p. 53

Douche Kasich gives advice to women - p. 59

eTrumptyDumpty - p. 61

Ted Cruz wrote erotic fiction in a past life - p. 64

Going "wherever" with Donald Trump - p. 65

Donald Trump gets deep, theoretical, repetitive, and theoretical - p. 67

Megyn Kelly and Donald Trump transform into Gandhi and Chong - p. 69
Trump: "Obama is so divisive!" Oh, the irony... - p. 72

Political Correctness with Donald Drumpf - p. 74

The Top Ten Offensive Statements I Predict Donald Trump Will Utter Before Election Day - p. 78

Donald Trump loves his "Two Corinthians" - p. 79

Donald Trump will never forget where he was on 7-11... - p. 80

According to Ted Cruz, there's no ring like a basketball ring... - p. 82

...and the GOP debate demands are... - p. 83

The CNN Debate: "Let's Get Ready to Rumblllle!" - p. 85

A Tale of Two Debates CNN-style - p. 91

The GOP vs. the media...and facts - p. 97

Republicans hope amnesia is contagious - p. 102

...and that's how you spell i-r-o-n-y, my friends... - p. 108

The Top Ten Most Profound Statements A Donald Trump Supporter Frightened Of Bernie Sanders Rallies Has Said In His Lifetime - p. 109

Jesus is facepalming himself over (Jeffrey) Lord's comments - p. 110

Mary Fallin: "Donald Trump is a racial healer!" - p. 112

Katrina Pierson needs a history lesson! - p. 115

Forgetful moments with Donald Trump - p. 117

"You're so vague. You may or may not think this one thing is about someone." - p. 119

If Donald Trump described himself to a sketch artist... - p. 120

Donald Trump writes horoscopes - p. 124

No, The Donald would NOT be a better president than Hillary... - p. 126

References - p. 131

Acknowledgements - p. 139

About the Author - p. 140

Introduction - Orange Is the New Crazy
Orange might be the new black in the world of Netflix, but in the world of politics, orange has become the new crazy. Coming across like a 5-year-old on steroids and resembling an elderly Oompa Loompa who’s been on the Super Size Me diet since birth, reality television star and oversized human Cheeto, Donald Trump, has become the Republican Party’s 2016 presidential nominee.

If that doesn’t sound crazy enough, not only has the GOP nominee insulted the usual suspects: Muslims, Hispanics, African-Americans, women, and the LGBT community, he’s also gone after Gold Star families, POWs, and Fox News anchors. At the rate Trump’s going, don’t be surprised to see the following headlines in the future: “Trump Tells Blind People To Get Glasses,” “The GOP Nominee Calls Little People ‘Short Shits’,” and “Trump Requests A Side Of Babies With His Whopper.”

On top of that, when it comes to policy, Trump tends to be vaguer than a stoned philosophy student writing horoscopes. The man comes across like a spokesperson for Nike when asked how he’ll accomplish something specific while in office: “I’m just gonna do it. Just do it. I’m gonna do stuff.” I imagine when proposing to his three wives, he said, “So, you, me, and like yeah. Sound good?”

If you, like me, feel the need to laugh at the absurdity that is Donald Trump to keep from crying, LOL at the GOP - Volume 6: Orange Is the New Crazy will provide the best form of therapy. In it, you’ll read all about the circus that was the Republican primary, from Ted Cruz comparing himself to Galileo to Marco Rubio wanting to drink with underage Muslims to Jeb Bush having a tendency of going both ways to Donald Trump not knowing his ass from his forehead. So sit back, relax, and let’s make laughter great again, for if we don’t, we wind up like Donald Trump.

A Fictional Foreward
“This book is the worst piece of crap since that other book I read one time. Believe me when I say it’s unbelievably bad - like tremendously yugely unbelievably bad. Some of the words are so foreign, not even I would marry them, okay?!? That’s how bigly bad this thing is. If there’s one thing I learned from reading this pile of garbage, it’s you can’t spell ‘stupid’ or ‘pathetic’ without ‘Craig Rozniecki’. That’s a fact, people. Look it up. This is three years of elementary spelling class at Trump University talking here.” - Donald J. Trump

My new book, "Orange Is the New Crazy," is now available!

I just thought I'd let all my readers know that my brand new book, LOL at the GOP - Volume 6: Orange Is the New Crazy, can now be viewed and purchased at the following links:

Paperback -

Kindle -

If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask!

50K followers on Twitter!

I just reached a milestone on Twitter. We're up to 50,000 followers now! Thanks to all of my readers, listeners, and followers for your continued support! I couldn't have reached this point without you. Thanks again!

For those who have yet to follow my Twitter page, you may do so at this link:


I had some fun with the trending hashtag #TrumpBookReports on Twitter yesterday. Here are my posts, ordered from the most to the least popular (all my tweets can be seen here -

1) "I read letters, sentences, words. I read the best words, believe me."
272 Likes, 71 Retweets

2) "This was the most inspiring book of all-time. I want to be as orange as clockwork when I grow up."
200 Likes, 52 Retweets

3) "This grade is going to be rigged. I didn't read the book, didn't even try, but the school is out to get me. Period!"
118 Likes, 41 Retweets

4) "I know more about killing mockingbirds than anyone else, believe me. Now where'd I put my squirt gun?"
99 Likes, 25 Retweets

5) "False advertising! I went to Sherwin Williams and there were less than fifty shades of this crap, like seriously!"
65 Likes, 13 Retweets

6) "This Cliff really knows what he's talking about! I need to start writing notes like him!"
53 Likes, 10 Retweets

7) "Pathetic. Give me 5 minutes and I could write a more better book than this."
48 Likes, 9 Retweets

8) "2b or not 2b? I didn't know that Shakestein dude wrote Algebra books!"
41 Likes, 13 Retweets

9) "Two words: I liked it."
47 Likes, 6 Retweets

10) "Gatsby sucks. It's a disaster, folks. I'm gonna make it great again, believe me."
38 Likes, 8 Retweets

11) "There was lots of war and lots of peace. The end."
35 Likes, 10 Retweets

12) "I have a feeling this book is like my autobiography, for I have bigly amounts of pride in my prejudices."
28 Likes, 12 Retweets

13) "What we should do is make Mexicans build a yuge bookstore, have them pay for it, and then send them back. Just sayin'!"
24 Likes, 11 Retweets

14) "This author is wrong. He doesn't know what he's talking about. Google Webster and you'll see, people. I guarantee it."
27 Likes, 4 Retweets

15) "It started with 'a,' ended with 'z,' but I stopped on the word 'bigly'."
20 Likes, 8 Retweets

16) "There was a little bit of this, a little bit of that, a little bit of the other. You know what I'm talkin' about, right?"
18 Likes, 5 Retweets

17) "I hitchhiked from the galaxy one time. That was interesting. My folks Vlick and Xenu stayed home, though."
15 Likes, 5 Retweets

18) "Sex ed is so pointless. I mean, this chick had a baby without doing the deed. Jesus! Two mini-thumbs up anyway."
12 Likes, 4 Retweets

Totals: 1,195 Likes, 307 Retweets (Averages of 66.4 Likes, 17.1 Retweets)

Friday, October 21, 2016


I live-tweeted during a debate for the final time this election season on Wednesday night. Here are my posts, ordered from the most to the least popular (all my tweets can be read here -

1) HRC: "Opinion"
DT: "Wrong"
HRC: "Fact"
DT: "Wrong"
HRC: "You're going to win"
DT: "Wrong"
HRC: "Ha! Got ya!"
966 Likes, 432 Retweets

2) Pence: "Voter fraud is real. Global warming is phony. Online polls are real. Russian hacks aren't Russian."
Denial is real...
341 Likes, 192 Retweets

3) Wallace: "Do"
Trump: "You"
Wallace: "Think"
Trump: "No"
Wallace: "Can I please finish"
Trump: "Now"
Wallace: My question"
321 Likes, 180 Retweets

4) Sexual assault allegations since the last debate
Donald Trump: 12
Bill Clinton: 1
Looks like it's time for a woman president...
353 Likes, 147 Retweets

5) Trump: "I don't believe in Obama's birth certificate, polls, election results, global warming... Reality is bigly overrated."
311 Likes, 139 Retweets

6) Trump: "Hillary's such a nasty woman. Now, let me get back to talking about grabbing women's p*ssies..."
285 Likes, 139 Retweets

7) Trump: "What about the element of surprise? I love the element of surprise. Just ask Billy Bush."
260 Likes, 131 Retweets

8) Trump: "Hillary Clinton is a nasty woman, I never apologize to my third wife, and I respect women more than anyone else."
258 Likes, 115 Retweets

9) Clinton: "Trump Tower was made of Chinese steel."

Trump: "The best Chinese steel, believe me."
198 Likes, 92 Retweets

10) Wallace: "You're down 35-0 at halftime of the Super Bowl. Will you accept defeat?"

Trump: "We'll have to wait & see..."
158 Likes, 42 Retweets

11) Trump: "ISIS started before Hillary, but Hillary gave us ISIS, just like Obama gave us World War 2."
122 Likes, 75 Retweets

12) Trump: "I don't know Putin, but I'm in love with him. He can hack my hard drive any day, people."
119 Likes, 63 Retweets

12) Wallace: "Let's talk about the women who have alleged you sexually assaulted them. Do you have a response?"
Trump: "Emails..."
122 Likes, 60 Retweets

14) Comeback of the night
Trump: "Nuh-uh. You're the puppet. You're the puppet. I know you are, but what am I?!?"
127 Likes, 51 Retweets

15) Wallace: "Make sure to go vote on November 8th."
Trump: "That's November 28th, Chris..."
125 Likes, 49 Retweets

16) Wallace: "Specifically..."
Trump: "Yes"
"I give up. Secretary Clinton..."
103 Likes, 67 Retweets

17) Trump: "Two words: F*ck democracy, folks, oh, and I love Jesus. That was two words, right? Yeah, I think so."
118 Likes, 51 Retweets

18) Trump: "While I talk about drugs, I'm going to start sniffing a lot again. Just a coincidence, folks. Just a coincidence."
104 Likes, 53 Retweets

19) Trump: "Mexico has some very very bad drug dealers. What we need more of are good drug dealers, like my doctor."
102 Likes, 32 Retweets

20) Trump: "Not only will I make businesses grow, but also expand, become larger, become more bigly. Gosh, I love that thesaurus."
96 Likes, 33 Retweets

21) First debate
Trump: "I have the best temperament like ever."

Third debate
Trump: "I'm about to start throwing some punches."
100 Likes, 27 Retweets

22) Trump: "Before Obama & Hillary, we were living in paradise, folks. The recession was called great for a reason, believe me."
87 Likes, 31 Retweets

23) Trump: "Why haven't you gotten everything done & been a great dictator? I promise, if I'm elected, I'll be the best dictator!"
83 Likes, 33 Retweets

24) Trump: "My offensive comments are just words. Justice Ginsburg's words against me aren't just words. She's a b*tch, folks."
73 Likes, 40 Retweets

25) Trump: "Look, I don't accept results I don't like, okay? Reagan's still president, I have some slaves, gravity's a hoax..."
78 Likes, 29 Retweets

26) Trump: "I'm giving my best Ben Carson impression right now - my eyes are almost closed. How am I doing? Bigly good, right?"
79 Likes, 24 Retweets

27) Trump: "Excuse me, Chris; I have to pimp out Trump Tower for a minute here... Have you had the taco bowls there? Tremendous!"
69 Likes, 27 Retweets

27) Trump:"When my voters go to the polls on Nov. 28th like I told them & the results come back, you'll see the election's rigged."
77 Likes, 19 Retweets

29) Trump: "I'm not a poor loser. I only accept things when I win. It's as simple as that. Otherwise, I suck my thumb and cry."
64 Likes, 29 Retweets

30) Trump: "The debate was bigly rigged. Chris Wallace & Fox News is so so liberal, big league liberal, people, believe me."
67 Likes, 25 Retweets

31) Trump:"I won the debate bigly, people - some online polls had me at 90%. These aren't rigged, unlike the election, believe me."
68 Likes, 22 Retweets

32) Trump: "20 million more people getting healthcare is destroying this country, folks. More healthcare = more deaths. Period!"
61 Likes, 28 Retweets

33) Trump: "America is the worst country in the world. Give me one day as president & I'll make it the best because reality."
59 Likes, 28 Retweets

34) Trump: "Win, lose, or draw, I will not lose and will not accept losing."
58 Likes, 26 Retweets

35) Trump: "Guns are experiencing so so much trauma - much more trauma than victims of gun violence. Period!"
52 Likes, 31 Retweets

35) Trump: "Big league, bigly, big league, bigly, big league, bigly. Is the Guinness Book of World Records people here? Did I win?"
55 Likes, 28 Retweets

37) Trump: "If I had to answer that question in four words, Chris, it'd be, extremely, extremely, strongly, strongly."
60 Likes, 22 Retweets

38) Trump: "I've now called three separate deals the stupidest deal of all time tonight. That's possible, people. It's math."
59 Likes, 21 Retweets

39) Gore: "A winner once every vote's counted..."
Trump: "A winner before any vote's counted..."
Trumpsters: "Same thing!"
52 Likes, 20 Retweets

40) "BREAKING NEWS: W/Fact-Checkers Being Told They Only Need To Write Facts Donald Trump Spouts, They've Been Given The Night Off"
44 Likes, 25 Retweets

41) Trump: "Most of the allegations have been debunked, which means some were true, but like I said, I deeply respect women."
45 Likes, 15 Retweets

42) Trump: "I would never personally have an abortion 1, 2, or 3 days from birth - never!"
47 Likes, 11 Retweets

43) Trump: "Hillary got the questions, which is why she had the perfect answers, but she did horrible, & I was amazing."
45 Likes, 11 Retweets

44) Deep thought of the day
Trump: "Dead people vote in this country and that's hard to do."
33 Likes, 18 Retweets

45) DT: "So, this conspiracy theory..."
Hewitt: "I saw a clip of it on YouTube called The Blair B*tch Project. Has to be true!"
35 Likes, 15 Retweets

46) Trump: "Since this is the final debate, I'd like to pronounce Jina for you. It's Jeye-nah, Jeye-nah, Jeye-nah!"
37 Likes, 11 Retweets

47) Trump: "Hombre. That makes me bi-language, but not bisexual. That's wrong. I only sleep with millions of women."
39 Likes, 7 Retweets

48) Trump to 150 million registered voters: "You're fired!"
32 Likes, 12 Retweets

49) Trump: "You can't spell 'fact' without 'conspiracy,' folks. It's true! Google it!"
24 Likes, 12 Retweets

50) Deep thought of the night
Trump: "If you think that's what you should do, then that's what you think you should do. Fact."
29 Likes, 5 Retweets

Totals: 6,329 Likes, 2,795 Retweets (Averages of 126.6 Likes, 55.9 Retweets)

Thursday, October 20, 2016

Mentioned on a website

Due to a #TrumpDebateGuests tweet of mine, I received mention on this site:

50K followers on Twitter!

I just reached 50,000 followers on Twitter. Thanks to all my readers, listeners, and followers for helping me reach this milestone. To join the club, go to this link and then click "follow."

"The Tracy & Craig Show" (today from 3:30 to 5:30 pm EST)

Tracy Fort and I will be bringing listeners a special post-debate show today. We'll be on the air from 3:30 to 5:30 pm EST, and you can check us out by clicking on the link below.

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

#BillyBushMadeMeDoIt, #MelaniaTrump, #RiggedElection, #EvangelicalTrump, & #TrumpDebateGuests

I've had plenty of fun on Twitter over the past 2-3 days with the following trending hashtags: #BillyBushMadeMeDoIt, #MelaniaTrump, #RiggedElection, #EvangelicalTrump, & #TrumpDebateGuests. Here now are my posts, ordered from the most to the least popular (all my tweets can be seen here -

1) "Thou shalt not commit adultery, unless she's a 10, and I've had many many 10s during my 3 marriages, believe me."
278 Likes, 123 Retweets

2) "I've cheated on my 3 wives, groped many women, lie all the time, but am not gay & don't have abortions, so I'm your guy!"
250 Likes, 134 Retweets

3) Trump if he were a football coach and down 49-0 at the end of the 3rd quarter: "The game is rigged, folks, believe me!"
125 Likes, 49 Retweets

4) Trump: "So, I tried to screw this married woman while my third wife was preggers."
99 Likes, 53 Retweets

5) Trump: "The system is rigged against me, folks - a man born into bigly amounts of money who pays unbigly amounts of taxes."
95 Likes, 45 Retweets

6) DT: "I'm gonna invite all my accusers to show I big league respect women. Yes, it's going to be a crowded house." (Trump's accusers)
83 Likes, 45 Retweets

7) "We're going to have you read a Michelle Obama speech, make you disappear, & then come back to defend Donald's perversions."
75 Likes, 34 Retweets

8) "You can't have Three Corinthians without Two Corinthians, and Three Corinthians is my favorite book in the Bible."
63 Likes, 25 Retweets

9) "The poorly educated love me, this I know,
For they tell me so,
Little brains to them belong,
They is weak, blah blah."
63 Likes, 24 Retweets

10) "It's easier for a rich disloyal Oompa Loompa to go through the eye of a needle than for a poor schmuck to enter heaven."
63 Likes, 19 Retweets

11) DT: "This man has to be one of my bigliest influences like ever!" (Dr. Evil)
57 Likes, 22 Retweets

12) "You think JC had it bad? The lamestream media has literally crucified me with my own words! Seriously!"
50 Likes, 23 Retweets

13) "Let one without sin cast the first nasty tweet. Whatever, I'll do it!"
54 Likes, 14 Retweets

14) Trump: "So I wound up reading the book of Two Corinthians..."
44 Likes, 16 Retweets

15) (a picture of Trump Steaks)
36 Likes, 23 Retweets

15) DT:"I have a surprise guest tonight - my tax returns! Just kidding, folks. Just one of those October April Fools' jokes." (a picture of tax returns)
44 Likes, 15 Retweets

17) (Trump fornicating with a chair at the second presidential debate)
35 Likes, 17 Retweets

17) "Jesus rose from the dead and I made the brain-dead come to life, so yeah, we're like twins."
39 Likes, 13 Retweets

19) (Donald Trump stalking Hillary Clinton in their second debate)
34 Likes, 15 Retweets

20) DT: "This little dude inspires me every day - makes me dream of my nose growing to that yuge size." (Pinocchio)
32 Likes, 14 Retweets

20) (a picture of Melania Trump at the RNC plagiarizing Michelle Obama's speech)
36 Likes, 10 Retweets

22) "If I had a church, instead of crackers & wine for communion, we'd have Trump Steaks and Vodka."
33 Likes, 8 Retweets

23) (an incredibly creepy picture of Donald Trump and his daughter Ivanka at the RNC)
25 Likes, 15 Retweets

23) (an extraordinarily bad hair day for Donald Trump)
32 Likes, 8 Retweets

25) "You wanna know what makes me cooler than Jesus? My robe and sandals are made out of gold."
28 Likes, 7 Retweets

26) Trump: "I went into a locker room once, to, you know, talk guy stuff."
23 Likes, 11 Retweets

27) (Trump's Politifact scorecard)
11 Likes, 21 Retweets

28) DT: "For whatever reason, I just feel a real strong connection with these two men..." (Roger Ailes and Bill Cosby)
18 Likes, 13 Retweets

28) (Donald Trump celebrating Cinco de Mayo by eating a taco bowl at Trump Tower)
21 Likes, 10 Retweets

30) DT: "Here's all the money I made which I never actually worked for. They're my BFFs. Thanks, dad." (Room full of money)
17 Likes, 5 Retweets

31) (Ben Carson's Popeye's robbery experience)
12 Likes, 7 Retweets

32) DT: "I want to sincerely thank this guy, for without him, none of this would have been possible." (A bull crapping on a toilet)
12 Likes, 6 Retweets

33) DT: "If I had a twin brother, it'd be this guy. Like, seriously, folks, seriously..." (Satan)
14 Likes, 2 Retweets

34) DT: "I just love this man's attitude. There, I said it." (Oscar the Grouch)
10 Likes, 0 Retweets

Totals: 1,911 Likes, 846 Retweets (Averages of 56.2 Likes, 24.9 Retweets)

How the Monster Known as Donald Trump Was Created

I can't count the number of times I've heard or read Republicans state during this election cycle, "How did this happen? How did Donald Trump become our nominee? He's not representative of the party!" Sadly, the monster known as Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump has been in the making for a number of years, and as far as the modern-day GOP is concerned, he is representative.

Let's first take a look at how Donald Trump has been able to win support through the 2016 election process: 1) Stoking fear about Mexicans; 2) Casting Muslims as terrorists or, at the very least, terrorist sympathizers; 3) Resorting to online conspiracies over fact-checkers debunking said conspiracies; 4) Painting Democrats as criminals; 5) Depicting minorities as moochers; 6) Repeating falsehoods and fallacies; 7) Disrespecting women; 8) Specifics are for suckers; 9) The mainstream media is lame; 10) Failure is spelled c-o-m-p-r-o-m-i-s-e, 11) Symbols over substance; 12) Shout Christ's words, but don't follow his actions, etc.

Look over that list again. Now think back to a time, before Donald Trump's rise within the GOP, when a number of Republican politicians acted in similar ways...

1) Republican politicians may not have referred to Mexicans as "criminals" or "rapists," but they've also tried painting Mexican immigrants in a negative light and attempted to make it increasingly more difficult for such individuals to legally settle here in the United States.

2) "Not all Muslims are terrorists, but all terrorists are Muslims!" Provide me a name of one non-conservative politician who's uttered this line. Take your time...

3) "Snopes is liberally-biased!" "Factcheck is biased as well!" "Politifact is run by George Soros or something!" "Global warming is a hoax!" "Did you hear this one about Obama admitting he was a radical Kenyan Muslims?!? It has to be a true! My uncle John forwarded the email to me!"

4) "Commies!" "Socialists!" "Marxists!" "Anti-American!" "Not real Americans!" "Anti-patriotism!" "Anti-soldier!" "Traitors!" "Treasonous!" "Anti-freedom!" "Anti-Constitution!" "Tax and spend liberals!"

5) "Lazy!" "Food stamps!" "Welfare!" "Moochers!"

6) Watch Fox News for a half-hour or listen to Rush Limbaugh for 5 minutes and you'll see what I mean...

7) It was quite ironic for so many Republican politicians to have come out against Donald Trump's quote which suggested women should be punished for having abortions. No, I haven't heard any other GOP politician utter such strong words before, but their actions speak similarly. How long have they wanted to overturn the Supreme Court's Roe v. Wade decision? How long have they proposed legislation to provide more obstacles for women to undergo abortions? For how long have such politicians tried making it easier for women to get pregnant, more difficult for them to do away with their pregnancy, more difficult to not fear for job protection during these times, all the while making them feel guilty for engaging in intercourse?

8) While this is just one example, look at the Republican Party's plan to repeal and replace the Affordable Care Act (Obamacare). They've repeated the phrase "repeal and replace" ad nauseum since the bill's passing six years ago, yet while they've attempt to repeal it over 50 times (and cost taxpayers millions of dollars in the process), they've yet to provide a specific plan on a potential replacement. This example isn't an aberration. It's more along the lines of a trend, unfortunately, as the GOP has become the party of vagueness (VOP).

9) According to many GOPers, every media outlet outside of conservatively-slanted ones are liberally-biased. This includes everyone from NBC to ABC to CBS to fact-checkers to the Washington Post to the New York Times to comedy shows to Sesame Street and beyond. This is largely why facts are no longer seen as truth. Facts are no longer what can be proven with substantial evidence; facts are simply what one wants to believe, even if their opinion runs contrary to facts.

10) The GOP's #1 goal when Barack Obama was inaugurated as president was to make him a one-term president. When he got reelected, their goal was to make him a lame-duck president. To compromise on anything was seen as a sign of weakness, a sign a Republican wasn't one with the party, and would run them the risk of receiving backlash from conservative media outlets, increasing their odds of being voted out of office come election day. Since Day 1 of Obama's presidency, the GOP has placed party over country.

11) The flag, the cross, bumper-sticker slogans, U.S.A. chants, are seen as powerful, patriotic, as signs one loves their country, yet what are symbols or words without actions to provide them some semblance of credence? What is love if one's actions contradict their vocal expressions to it? Conservative politicians have increasingly taken on the notion that symbolism is of greater importance than action.

12) Similarly, the Republican Party has often branded itself as the party of God, of family values, of Christianity, but their policy positions, words, and actions show otherwise. The GOP has attempted to persuade evangelical voters that they're not one with Christ's teachings if they vote for politicians whom support a woman's right to choose when it comes to abortion and/or for politicians whom support equality for the LGBT community. In the Bible, however, there's no mention of abortion nor of marriage equality for LGBT couples. Then these same supposed "Christ-loving" politicians often showcase minorities in a negative, or at least an inferior light. They present women in a similar manner. They support policies which aid the rich at the expense of the poor. They don't take care of the homeless, even if they risked their lives for this country in war. They don't believe in laws which treat everyone similarly. They'd rather destroy than protect the environment. War is seen as necessary, gun violence is ignored, and fear, as well as hate, trump love.

Many Republicans may still be in denial about the rise of Donald Trump, but he's not an overnight surprise. His nomination was a lengthy process, combining fear, fallacy, denial, and dishonesty. Many Republican politicians may have just seen their speeches as words to rile the base. Many conservative media outlets may have seen themselves as just stirring the pot. But when combining these forces over a 20-30 year span, this is what you get - a monster of the party's making, Donald Trump.

Voting anti-establishment doesn't always bring positive change

The only argument I can understand as to why some people still insist on voting for Donald Trump is out of protest. That's it. They see the man as an outsider to the federal government (which isn't entirely true), are angry at the government, and want to see a big shake-up by providing a couple of middle fingers to this nation's capital. In saying that, however, while I can understand these individuals' feelings on the matter, allow me to just say that the "anti-establishment" candidate isn't always the "change-for-the-better" candidate.

Let's think about this for a moment here. With Hillary Clinton, we basically know what she's going to bring to the table as president. Yes, with some slight differentiation, she will bring to Washington a third Obama term. Is that really so bad, though? Under President Obama, we've gone from losing 800,000 jobs a month to regularly gaining 200,000+ jobs per month. We've gone from a large percentage of people without health insurance to a record low percentage of people void of healthcare. We've gone from stagnant wages and increased poverty to increases in wages and decreases in poverty (since 2014). We've gone from a housing crisis to a housing shortage due to how quickly they're selling. We've gone from a war-first and highly-disrespected country to a diplomacy-first and more-respected country. Stocks are up. Equality is improving, especially in the LGBT community. We've attained greater awareness with regard to several causes: Discrimination, police brutality, the criminal justice system, drug reform, global warming, gun violence, etc. So, really, would another 4 such years be THAT bad?

On the other side of the aisle is Donald Trump - a wild card if there ever was one. Sure, he might cast himself as an "outsider," as the "anti-establishment" candidate, but what specifically comes with those labels? The problem is we don't really know. The man has no voting record as a senator or congressman to which we can refer for some guidance on where he's likely to take this nation. He's changed party affiliations more times than he's swapped wives. The man contradicts himself more than Death Valley sees high temperatures in the summer months. Trump's so-called strength - his business record - is spotty at best. So how on earth are we to know what he'll propose if he's elected president, and how is that a good thing? While I can see unpredictability being an occasional positive in a relationship - to maintain some level of excitement which tends to fade with time, I have a difficult time seeing that as a positive when it comes to the leader of the free world. When I vote for a president, I'm voting for him/her because, based on what I've heard/read/researched/thought about, I feel they're the best person for the job in leading this country forward; I'm not voting for them as a flip of the coin, saying, "Heads they'll make America great again; tails they'll destroy the world. I'm willing to take that chance." Do we really want to take that kind of chance with not only our futures, but our children's futures?

If this were a job interview, who would you honestly want to hire? A person with 30+ years experience; a reputation for working with all people; someone who possesses an even temperament; an individual known for a good work ethic, excellent listening skills, and impeccable preparedness; or a person with no experience; someone who often loses their cool (and rather quickly); and someone not known for their work ethic, listening, or preparation? The former, of course. Based on Donald Trump's words, the following is very possible if he wins the November 8th election: 1) Roe v. Wade gets overturned and women lose reproductive rights in the process; 2) Obergefell gets overturned and LGBT couples lose their marriage rights as a result; 3) The Affordable Care Act gets repealed and 20+ million people are again without health insurance; 4) Financial regulations are gutted and we leave ourselves more prone to another recession; 5) We go back to being a war-first country; 6) Citizens United has no shot at being overturned and we continue trending toward an oligarchy; 7) Gun violence and global warming continues being ignored; 8) Discrimination becomes further legitimized; 9) Conspiracies are given precedent over fact-checkers; etc.

I can fully understand why some people are angry at the federal government. I am too to a certain extent, namely with Congress. However, while I supported an "anti-establishment" candidate in Bernie Sanders during the primaries, I will not do so in the general election. Hillary Clinton may be the "same old, same old," but if that means four more years of what we've seen over the past 8, I'll take that any day over the unpredictability of a wild card like Donald Trump. As far as I see it, the choices are quite simple: Further job creation; further expansion of people's rights; and think first, act second (Clinton) vs. another possible recession; the regression of people's rights; and act before thinking (Trump). While I can understand wanting an anti-establishment candidate to be elected president, Donald Trump is not that candidate. Whether we love or loathe her, Hillary Clinton is by far and away the better choice of the two. If we want to see continual progression; to see love Trump hate; and for truth to Trump fear, vote Hillary Clinton.

Dismissing a word in the future doesn't remove its history

A couple of weeks ago, I observed an interesting debate between two friends of mine concerning the power of words and whether or not we could universally erase a select few. One seemed to believe that words possess only as much power as people provide them, they can mean nothing if we treat them as such, and if we stop using them in the future, they'll all but vanish. The other seemed to disagree with this notion, as they mentioned how a few words got under their skin more than any other, and that whether or not we uttered such words in the future, that wouldn't remove their affect on us.

First of all, as a writer, I'm inherently biased toward the power of words. I'm also a believer that less is often more when it comes to certain words. If an individual rarely uses what's considered to be profane language, when he or she does utter such a word, it often times lands a bigger punch than if the stereotypical drunken sailor utters such a remark. It should also be noted that, although words have technical definitions, the same term can hold completely different meanings to different people, dependent upon their upbringing, religious or political views, and other life experiences. This doesn't make any one party right or wrong on such a definition necessarily, but when delving into the matter, we have to keep in mind that words can emotionally impact people differently.

When fully contemplating about my friends' debate, I came back with mixed feelings. On one hand, I partially agreed with the former's assertion that words possess only as much power as people provide them, yet I also agreed with the latter's claim that denial of a word in the future doesn't remove its power of the past.

It's true; there are times when even those closest to us have learned how to press our buttons and utilize a word in order to intentionally get under our skin. What then is the best strategy to offset that? By making it appear as though this button-pushing doesn't bother us at all. However, when it comes to certain derogatory terms, like ni**er, I think, regardless of whether or not it's uttered in the future, we can't ignore what it's meant in the past.

As difficult as it might be to admit to our country's mistakes of the past, without this admittance, we leave ourselves more prone to committing similar mistakes in the future. If I were a recovering alcoholic, it wouldn't do much much good to just stop uttering words which are associated with alcohol, denying the substance completely. In order to get over my problem, I'd have to admit I had a problem in the first place, and regardless of the temptations in the future, be able to resist them, and improve from my past mistakes in the process. I hate the N-word and terms like it, but I'm not going to espouse the removal of such language or shameful events from this country's history. Some textbooks are now trying to shine a brighter light on slave owners, and slavery in general. There are even a few textbooks which appear to want to show America off as a utopia. I think such denial sets a dangerous precedent, however. If we completely ignore discrimination has ever existed in this country, how will we then tackle our problems with discrimination? It's impossible to solve a problem if we don't believe a problem exists.

While it may be true that words posses only as much power as people provide them, if people ignore their histories, we're left powerless to the inevitable recycling of past atrocities affiliated with those very terms.

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Info on my Facebook business, Twitter, and Tumblr pages

Here's the URL to my Facebook business page. I update it fairly regularly, but still haven't put forth a great deal of effort yet in researching matters and attempting to make the most out of it. In any case, it can be perused here:

Up next is my Twitter page. I'm still not 100% certain what I'm doing on there yet, but feel I'm gradually getting the hang of it and am up to 49,732 followers. I update it daily with many of my own tweets, but also by retweeting some others'. It can be found here:

Lastly, here's my Tumblr page, which I've neglected quite a bit recently, but if you're at all curious, you can find it at the following link:

Weekly update of my book information

For new readers (and regular ones, I suppose), here's some information pertaining to my books.

All twelve of my books can be purchased in paperback form at the following site (and others):

The ten books I've written and released in the past 4 years (yes, I've been on a roll) can be purchased for much cheaper in Kindle form at the following link: