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A phrase that's always bothered me: "She's out of your league!"

Anyone who's been living for more than a week has probably heard at least one person say, "She's out of your league!" There was even a film released in 2010 which went by the title, She's Out of My League. What does that phrase mean? To any guy with a temporary squeaky voice or older, it basically means a woman is too "hot" for a guy that's pursuing her.

This phrase bothers me for multiple reasons. First off, it makes it sound as though the only thing that matters in this world is physical attractiveness. Secondly, the phrase makes it seem as though a guy can never be good enough for a "hot" woman if he isn't George Clooney. Thirdly, the phrase makes it sound like "hot" women are shallower than an empty baby pool. Lastly, the phrase comes across as, "The only way a woman can be out of a guy's league is if she's like really really hot and stuff."

When someone says "She's out of your league," not…
Recent posts

A proof copy of a new book is on its way!

So long as everything goes as planned (or at least as hoped), my new book, A Collection of Satirical Short Stories: A Bigly Clever Title, should be available for purchase by Christmas. It'd make the perfect late stocking-stuffer! Forget the coal; just buy your kids my book! Well, that's all I have to share about the matter for now. I'll keep everyone up-to-date as things progress. Stay tuned!

Another 5-star review for my book, "The Art of the Steal"!

My latest book, "The Art of the Steal," just received another 5-star review, where the reader wrote the following:
"Funny, entertaining, and it seems like art is imitating life. Great read!"
If you want to take a closer look at said book, you may do so here (available on Kindle for just $0.99):
https://www.amazon.com/Art-Steal-Became-School-President-ebook/dp/B071F9TVRW/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8

#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews

I had some fun with the trending hashtag #ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews on Twitter the other day. Here are my posts, ordered from the most popular to the least popular (all my tweets can be viewed at this site - https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki):

1) Stevie Wonder as my Uber driver
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
699 Likes, 195 Retweets

2) A psychic who has to reschedule our appointment
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
90 Likes, 23 Retweets

3) Edward Scissorhands in a game of patty-cake
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
75 Likes, 16 Retweets

4) Text messages after drinking a bottle of wine and suddenly thinking everyone else is up at 3 in the morning
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
61 Likes, 18 Retweets

5) Drunken CNN anchors trying to intentionally fail a polygraph
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
44 Likes, 14 Retweets

6) An Indian restaurant, featuring only white employees, with an owner who calls himself Columbus
#ThingsITrustMoreThanFoxNews
34 Likes, 8 Retweets

7) Someone who plays chess with Monopol…

What I learned in Week 14 of the NFL season...

In Week 14 of the NFL season, I learned that...

- ..., when it comes to December games in Buffalo, Stevie Wonder might as well be doing the announcing.

- ..., if a high school team spotted Cleveland 21 points, the Browns would still find a way to lose.

- ...Greg Schiano has had quite the influence on Michael Bennett.

- ...Tom Brady apparently takes to Miami at the same leisure as Gisele takes to Donald Trump.

- ...Marcus Mariota has come down with a case of temporary amnesia, as he's forgotten which team he plays for.

- ..., if a game turned into an MMA fight, the officials from the Seattle/Jacksonville contest would likely fan themselves with their flags as opposed to throw them.

- ..., in an attempt to attain the best workout possible, if faced with the option of taking one step or running seven miles, Atlanta Falcons head coach Dan Quinn would likely go with the single step.

- ...the Philadelphia Eagles may ask to trade for wannabe-quarterback Mohamed Sanu.

- ...the Steel Curta…

Info on my Facebook business, Twitter, and Tumblr pages

Here's the URL to my Facebook business page. I update it fairly regularly, but still haven't put forth a great deal of effort yet in researching matters and attempting to make the most out of it. In any case, it can be perused here:

http://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki?ref=hl


Up next is my Twitter page. I'm still not 100% certain what I'm doing on there yet, but feel I'm gradually getting the hang of it and am up to 79,865 followers. I update it daily with many of my own tweets, but also by retweeting some others'. It can be found here:

https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki


Lastly, here's my Tumblr page, which I've neglected quite a bit recently, but if you're at all curious, you can find it at the following link:

http://www.tumblr.com/blog/rozzy81

Weekly update of my book information

For new readers (and regular ones, I suppose), here's some information pertaining to my books.

Thirteen of my fourteen books can be purchased in paperback form at the following site (and others):

http://www.lulu.com/shop/search.ep?type=&keyWords=craig+rozniecki&x=7&y=5&sitesearch=lulu.com&q=

The twelve books I've written and released in the past 6 years (yes, I've been on a roll) can be purchased for much cheaper in Kindle form at the following link:

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_22?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=craig%20rozniecki%20kindle&sprefix=craig+rozniecki+kindle%2Caps%2C228&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Acraig%20rozniecki%20kindle

#MasterpieceCakeshop and #XmasGiftsFromTrump

I had some fun with the trending hashtags #MasterpieceCakeshop and #XmasGiftsFromTrump on Twitter over the past couple days. Here are my posts, ordered from the most popular to the least popular (all my tweets can be seen here - https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki):

1) 20 allege Trump sexually assaulted/harassed them.
GOP: "Let's make him president!"

9 allege Moore sexually assaulted/harassed them when they were teenagers.
GOP: "Let's make him Senator!"

A gay couple wants a wedding cake.
GOP: "Whoa! That's going too far!"
#MasterpieceCakeshop
232 Likes, 135 Retweets

2) If the Supreme Court sides with Jack Phillips in the #MasterpieceCakeshop case, I'm going to open a bakery, turn away everyone I don't like based on my religious affiliation, and when asked what my religion is, tell them, "Roznieckism."
126 Likes, 31 Retweets

3) A pageless book, entitled, "I Reed Gooder Then You"
#XmasGiftsFromTrump
75 Likes, 21 Retwee…

Info on my Facebook business, Twitter, and Tumblr pages

Here's the URL to my Facebook business page. I update it fairly regularly, but still haven't put forth a great deal of effort yet in researching matters and attempting to make the most out of it. In any case, it can be perused here:

http://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki?ref=hl


Up next is my Twitter page. I'm still not 100% certain what I'm doing on there yet, but feel I'm gradually getting the hang of it and am up to 79,615 followers. I update it daily with many of my own tweets, but also by retweeting some others'. It can be found here:

https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki


Lastly, here's my Tumblr page, which I've neglected quite a bit recently, but if you're at all curious, you can find it at the following link:

http://www.tumblr.com/blog/rozzy81

Weekly update of my book information

For new readers (and regular ones, I suppose), here's some information pertaining to my books.

Thirteen of my fourteen books can be purchased in paperback form at the following site (and others):

http://www.lulu.com/shop/search.ep?type=&keyWords=craig+rozniecki&x=7&y=5&sitesearch=lulu.com&q=

The twelve books I've written and released in the past 6 years (yes, I've been on a roll) can be purchased for much cheaper in Kindle form at the following link:

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_22?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=craig%20rozniecki%20kindle&sprefix=craig+rozniecki+kindle%2Caps%2C228&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Acraig%20rozniecki%20kindle

"71% of Alabama Republicans"

I had some fun with the trending hashtag "71% of Alabama Republicans" the other day. Here are my posts, ordered from the most popular to the least popular (all my tweets can be seen here -https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki):

1) 71% of Alabama Republicans: "If someone did to our daughters what Roy did to others' daughters, we'd shoot 'em dead. But since it ain't our daughters and Roy Moore's a Republican, we'll vote for him. That's family values right there."
1,077 Likes, 477 Retweets

2) 71% of Alabama Republicans: "There are three things we believe in: God, football, math, and pedophilia."
291 Likes, 96 Retweets

3) 71% of Alabama Republicans: "Roy Moore is a good Christian man because he says he is."

I'm sorry, but if a man is shouting he's a good Christian man while nearly raping a girl, he's not a good man in any sense of the word.
121 Likes, 46 Retweets

4) Roy Moore gets banned from a mall, calls a girl…

#TaxScamBill

I had some fun with the trending hashtag #TaxScamBill on Twitter the other day. Here are my posts, ordered from the most popular to the least popular (all my tweets can be viewed here - https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki):

1) Dear media:
When you hail a bill which screws over most of the public as a victory for the president because of the low bar he's set due to not passing anything significant in his first year, something is seriously wrong.
#TaxScamBill
565 Likes, 206 Retweets

2) GOP: "What do Trump's tax returns and our Senate tax bill have in common? We haven't seen either one."
#TaxScamBill
412 Likes, 279 Retweets

3) GOP: "You voted for us to represent you and help improve your lives, so we're going to pass a bill you hate which will help just 1% of you. You're welcome."
#TaxScamBill
122 Likes, 48 Retweets

4) GOP: "As it says in the book of Two Corinthians, it's right to lie to and screw the American people. That's family valu…

What I learned in Week 13 of the NFL season...

In Week 13 of the NFL season, I learned that...

- ...due to Rob Gronkowski's play on Sunday, in the offseason the NFL may implement the Fu*kin' Ridiculous Late Hit, a 30-yard penalty.

- ...Bob McAdoo may soon be working alongside Scooby-Doo.

- ...the Jaguars may want to check with tea-baggers before again referring to themselves as Sacksonville.

- ...the Cleveland Browns were yet again passed over by the college football playoff committee.

- ...the Denver Broncos offense is now neck-and-neck with the Trump administration on the LES (Low Efficiency Scale).

- ...the struggling Kansas City Chiefs may ask the commissioner to implement a flag-throwing contest multiple times throughout every game.

- ...Russell Wilson runs around in the backfield more in a single game than 96% of Americans run in a year.

- ...Jacoby Brissett wears full-body condoms to bed, because for how little protection he gets from his o-line, he's bound to get sacked.

- ..., according to most NFL announcers,…

Pre-Bowl Power 5 Conference Breakdown

ACC
Bowl eligible teams: 10 of 14 (71.4%)
Record vs. Power 5 (and Notre Dame): 9-13 (.409)

9 wins
ACC teams: 77-33 (.700)
ACC opponents: 61-47 (.565)
Difference: +0.135
Combined score: 312-152 (average of 34.7 - 16.9 = +17.8)

13 losses
ACC teams: 72-81 (.471)
ACC opponents: 109-48 (.694)
Difference: -0.223
Combined score: 272-500 (average of 20.9 - 38.5 = -17.6)

Overall
ACC teams: 149-114 (.567)
ACC opponents: 170-95 (.642)
Difference: -0.075
Combined score: 584-652 (average of 26.5 - 29.6 = -3.1)


Big XII
Bowl eligible teams: 8 of 10 (80.0%)
Record vs. Power 5 (and Notre Dame): 4-6 (.400)

4 wins
Big XII teams: 37-13 (.740)
Big XII opponents: 26-23 (.531)
Difference: +0.209
Combined score: 170-89 (average of 42.5 - 22.3 = +20.2)

6 losses
Big XII teams: 34-38 (.472)
Big XII opponents: 42-31 (.575)
Difference: -0.103
Combined score: 157-201 (average of  26.2 - 33.5 = -7.3)

Overall
Big XII teams: 71-51 (.582)
Big XII opponents: 68-54 (.557)
Difference: +0.025
Combined score: 327-290 (average of …

Remember when the eye-test determined the Super Bowl winner? Me neither...

It seems that every year I have a gripe with one of the college football playoff committee's four selections. This year it's Alabama. I don't know anyone who has any problem with the committee's three other picks: The ACC and defending national champion 1-loss Clemson Tigers; the Big XII champion 1-loss Oklahoma Sooners; and the SEC champion 1-loss Georgia Bulldogs. That leaves one spot to be filled. While ESPN and other media outlets seemed to make the debate a black-and-white argument between Alabama and Ohio State, I'm going to add two teams to the mix: Central Florida and USC.

Let's first look at the committee's documented protocol for selecting the four playoff teams. Here's what they allegedly look at when comparing teams:

"1) Championships won

2) Strength of schedule

3) Head-to-head competition (if it occurred)

4) Comparative outcomes of common opponents"

Based on that criteria, let's compare the four teams, starting with Alabama.

Al…