The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

Podcast: "I Feel Snitty" Episode 45: "Lysol": A Donald Trump Parody Premiere Date: 4/27/20 Length: 4:19 (279 words) Link: https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/lysol-a-donald-trump-parody/ Transcript: "Lysol" (to the tune of Oasis's "Wonderwall") Today is gonna be a day I speak gobbledygook to you By now you should've realized This is what I f*ckin' do I don't believe that anybody Knows what I'm about to do right now Dumb speak, the words are in my head Ready to finally come out I'm sure you've never heard them before Unless you're a fake doctor named Gout I don't believe anybody will look As stupid as I'm about to now And none of the wheels in my head are turning And all the light bulbs up there aren't working There are many ways that I would Like to save my ass Perhaps this is how Because maybe You're gonna be the one that saves me And after all You're my Lysol...

The latest episode of my podcast ( I Feel Snitty ), entitled, "'Lysol": A Donald Trump Parody," is now available! Here are the lyrics to the parody: "Lysol" (to the tune of Oasis's "Wonderwall") Today is gonna be a day I speak gobbledygook to you By now you should've realized This is what I f*ckin' do I don't believe that anybody Knows what I'm about to do right now Dumb speak, the words are in my head Ready to finally come out I'm sure you've never heard them before Unless you're a fake doctor named Gout I don't believe anybody will look As stupid as I'm about to now And none of the wheels in my head are turning And all the light bulbs up there aren't working There are many ways that I would Like to save my ass Perhaps this is how Because maybe You're gonna be the one that saves me And after all You're my Lysol Today is gonna be a day I'm gonna suggest you eat...

Podcast: "I Feel Snitty" Episode 44: Have a problem? Put some Clorox on it. Premiere Date: 4/27/20 Length: 8:14 (1,278 words) Link: https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/have-a-problem-put-some-clorox-on-it/ Transcript: Welcome to I Feel Snitty, episode 44, entitled, “Have a problem? Put some Clorox on it.” I’m your host, Craig Rozniecki. It finally happened. At long last, it finally happened. Donald Trump has stopped giving his daily coronavirus press briefings. Why, you ask? Because of the incredible backlash he’s received, from anyone with even a shred of humanity, regarding his recent medical advice. He’s since attempted to excuse his idiocy as sarcasm, but I’m not sure that’s much better, for he’s either calling himself a schmuck or the worst joke-teller in recorded history. Before I go any further, here’s his full quote: “So I asked Bill a question some of you are thinking of if you’re into that world, which I find to be pretty interesting. So, supposing we ...

The latest episode of my podcast ( I Feel Snitty ), entitled, "Have a problem? Put some Clorox on it.," is now available! Here's a brief description of it: Every time Donald Trump speaks in front of a camera, the chyron should read, "Don't do this at home, kids," and never go away until he stops talking. Case and point: his recent suggestion on injecting disinfectants to rid oneself of coronavirus. Yes, he actually said this. There's a reason why #LysolTrump has been trending on Twitter over the past few days, and it's not because Melania's expecting a baby, which she and Donnie have decided to name after a disinfectant. In this episode, I help you to relive that magically stupid moment, and then predict what Trump might have said to trigger some of the most ridiculous warning labels ever created. The entire episode can be heard here: https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/have-a-problem-put-some-clorox-on-it/

Podcast: "I Feel Snitty" Episode 43: The Pen Is Mightier Than the Needs of Families Trying to Slow a Pandemic. Premiere Date: 4/27/20 Length: 5:26 (802 words) Link: https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/the-pen-is-mightier-than-the-needs-of-families-trying-to-slow-a-pandemic/ Transcript: Welcome to I Feel Snitty, episode 43, entitled, “The Pen Is Mightier Than the Needs of Families Trying to Slow a Pandemic.” I’m your host, Craig Rozniecki. About a month ago, Congress passed a $2.2 trillion bill to try and help Americans stay afloat economically during the coronavirus lockdown. While most people I know personally were able to get their checks from the bill directly deposited into their bank accounts, others received personal checks. This all sounds well and good until you reach the fact that many who were to receive paper checks in the mail saw their payments delayed due to… Wait for it… Donald Trump’s insistence that his signature be placed on the checks. This is...

The latest episode of my podcast ( I Feel Snitty ), entitled, "The Pen Is Mightier Than the Needs of Families Trying to Slow a Pandemic.," is now available. Here's a brief description of it: Have to wait longer than expected for your coronavirus-bill-paper-check? That's likely because Donald Trump insisted on placing his signature on it. In this episode, I dissect why his insistence was, as a Debbie-Downer Valley Girl might say, "Like so not good." In addition, I sarcastically (real sarcasm, Donald...) run through some other hypothetical scenarios where I could see The Donald taking credit for another's accomplishment and then essentially wrecking said accomplishment. The episode can be heard in its entirety at this link: https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/the-pen-is-mightier-than-the-needs-of-families-trying-to-slow-a-pandemic/

"Lysol" (to the tune of Oasis's "Wonderwall") Today is gonna be a day I speak gobbledygook to you By now you should've realized This is what I f*ckin' do I don't believe that anybody Knows what I'm about to do right now Dumb speak, the words are in my head Ready to finally come out I'm sure you've never heard them before Unless you're a fake doctor named Gout I don't believe anybody will look As stupid as I'm about to now And none of the wheels in my head are turning And all the light bulbs up there aren't working There are many ways that I would Like to save my ass Perhaps this is how Because maybe You're gonna be the one that saves me And after all You're my Lysol Today is gonna be a day I'm gonna suggest you eat some poo Jam Sharpies in your nose somehow Maybe eat my tax returns too I don't believe that anybody Knows what I'm about to do right now And none of the whee...

Due to some tweets of mine, I got mentioned on the following pair of sites: https://prosportsextra.com/president-trump-was-asked-about-opening-the-country-too-early-staying-at-home-also-leads-to-death/ https://secondnexus.com/donald-trump-2020-campaign-slogans You can follow my Twitter account and/or view any of my other tweets at this link:  https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki

I've had some fun with trending hashtags on Twitter over the past 3 weeks. Here are my posts, ordered from the most to the least popular (all my tweets can be viewed here - https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki ): 1) There are now over 200,000 cases of #Coronavirus in this country, with over 5,000 deaths. Last month, you said there were just 15 cases and that number would go down in a couple of days. So is 200,000 less than 15? #QuestionsThatTriggerTrump 1.2K Likes, 297 Retweets 2) The Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Voters #AccurateTrump2020Slogans 1.2K Likes, 286 Retweets 3) I swear, Trump could punch a baby at one of these things and his supporters would say, "Such a great man. Always reaching out to the kids." #PressBriefing 1.2K Likes, 247 Retweets 4) Two Corinthians Walked Into a Barr. Barr Didn't Press Charges. #AccurateTrump2020Slogans 1.1K Likes, 257 Retweets 5) #DearMrPresident: Get ready. On November 3rd, this country is going to yell loud an...

I received the following comments on episode 42 of my podcast ( I Feel Snitty ), entitled, "A Letter to the Enabler": - "Great podcast, Craig! Your tRump impression is awesome by the way!" - "Can I sign my name to your response too? It's spot on!" The episode can be heard here: https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/a-letter-to-the-enabler/

I just received this comment on episode 42 of my podcast ( I Feel Snitty ), entitled, "A Letter to the Enabler": - "Awesome!" You can check out the episode here. - https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/a-letter-to-the-enabler/ #Podcast #Snark #DearMrPresident #Coronavirus

Podcast: "I Feel Snitty" Episode 42: A Letter to the Enabler Premiere Date: 4/9/20 Length: 15:49 (2,182 words) Link: https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/a-letter-to-the-enabler/ Transcript: Welcome to I Feel Snitty , episode 42, entitled, “A Letter to the Enabler.” I’m your host, Craig Rozniecki. #DearPresident was trending #1 on Twitter the other day. For those unsavvy Twitter folks out there, that means like a lot of people were talking about #DearPresident on Twitter. This was due to a back-and-forth fake president Trump had with Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer. Tommy Lee, drummer of ‘80s hair band Motley Crue and regular social-media hater of Trump, even started trending for a #DearPresident letter he shared, but was actually written by one Craig Alan Wilkins. In this episode, I thought I’d do similarly, but before I do, allow me to provide you all the necessary background information to this feud, nasty letter style. On April 2nd, Schumer sent Trump th...

The latest episode of my podcast ( I Feel Snitty ), entitled, "A Letter to the Enabler," is now available! Here's a brief description of it: Round 1: Chuck Schumer sends a letter to Donald Trump Round 2: Donald Trump sends a letter to Chuck Schumer Round 3: This episode, where I read a letter to Donald Trump Ding! Ding! Ding! You can listen to the whole episode here:  https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/a-letter-to-the-enabler/

I received the following comments on episode 41 of my podcast ( I Feel Snitty ), entitled, "The No-Social-Distancing-Rally-Briefings": - "Great episode! This asswipe is so ridiculous, you almost are kinda close. He is literally steering the American people off the rails." - "'We've sent shin-guards and football helmets to hospitals.' Haha!" - A bunch of laugh emojis You can check out the full episode here: https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/the-no-social-distancing-rally-briefings/

I received the following comment on episode 41 of my podcast ( I Feel Snitty ), entitled, "The No-Social-Distancing-Rally-Briefings": - "You nailed it! Stay snarky!" You can listen to the episode in its entirety at this link: https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/the-no-social-distancing-rally-briefings/?fbclid=IwAR3OC2THcGDb-CEcfjQifrT9Fn3rHJ4FystTC--pZkz68aWRivIUvSnPLKE

I received the following comment on episode 39 of my podcast ( I Feel Snitty ), entitled, "The Coronavirus Jesus": "Love that 'president' is in quotes and 'prey' is used in the introduction. That’s my friend right there- strong work, Craig Rozniecki!" You can check out the episode at this link:  https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/the-coronavirus-jesus/

Podcast: "I Feel Snitty" Episode 41: The No-Social-Distancing-Rally-Briefings Premiere Date: 4/3/20 Length: 11:20 (1,503 words) Link:  https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/the-no-social-distancing-rally-briefings/ Transcript: Welcome to I Feel Snitty , episode 41, entitled, “The No-Social-Distancing-Rally-Briefings.” I’m your host, Craig Rozniecki. It seems as soon as Donald Trump was advised not to hold rallies, he decided to hold press rallies, disguised as Coronavirus briefings. He’s now been giving daily “briefings” for as long as I can remember, which is a couple days anymore. Wait, what day is it? It’s kind of funny. Sarah Huckabee-Sanders was Trump’s Press Secretary through the months and months the White House held no press briefings. Now that she’s gone, likely auditioning for the role of Sloth in a Goonies remake, and Trump can’t hold rallies, he’s essentially become his own Press Secretary. Have you watched one of these things? Trump mumbles some num...