The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

Arkansas GOP official Johnny Rhoda has resigned over some recent comments he made with regard to former First Lady and potential future President Hillary Clinton. If Clinton ran for president, Rhoda said, "She'd probably get shot at the state line. Nobody has any affection for her. The majority don't." After the inevitable backlash, Rhoda defended his commentary, saying, "That comment was taken way out of context. It certainly was not meant in a threatening or hostile way at all. It was just a comment. Perhaps I used the wrong word." Yes, in Rhoda's mind, what he was simply saying was this: "Look - if Hillary Clinton runs for president, and she even tries to enter this state, she'll probably get shot. She's not wanted here! Nobody likes her here! She should stay the hell out! I'm not saying she'll get shot here as a threat or anything; I'm just sayin', you know? It's simply a comment. If Hillary Clinton steps insi

The Pew Research Center just released a poll which provided some rather disturbing results. When asked whether poor people have hard lives or have it easy, 47% of the respondents answered with the former, and 44% answered with the latter. If you thought that was disturbing, that's nothing compared to how conservatives responded to the question. Among "young outsiders," while just 10% believe that the poor have rough lives, 81% believe they have it easy (net -71%). Among "business conservatives," these numbers are 9% and 77% (net -68%), respectively. Lastly, among "steadfast conservatives," only 7% believe the poor have hard lives, and 86% believe they have it easy (net -79%). Not knowing if you and the kids will be eating tonight. Conservatives: "The poor have it easy!" Being more prone to eating cheap, fast food, and suffering health problems (such as obesity) as a result. Conservatives: "The poor have it easy!" Being m

Here's the URL to my Facebook business page. I update it fairly regularly, but still haven't put forth a great deal of effort yet in researching matters and attempting to make the most out of it. In any case, it can be perused here: http://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki?ref=hl Up next is my Twitter page. I'm still not 100% certain what I'm doing on there yet, but feel I'm gradually getting the hang of it and am up to 10.5 K followers. I update it daily with many of my own tweets, but also by retweeting some others'. It can be found here: https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki Lastly, here's my Tumblr page, which I've neglected quite a bit recently, but if you're at all curious, you can find it at the following link: http://www.tumblr.com/blog/rozzy81

For new readers (and regular ones, I suppose), here's some information pertaining to my books. All twelve of my books can be purchased in paperback form at the following site (and others): http://www.lulu.com/shop/search.ep?type=&keyWords=craig+rozniecki&x=7&y=5&sitesearch=lulu.com&q= The ten books I've written and released in the past 3 years (yes, I've been on a roll) can be purchased for much cheaper in Kindle form at the following link: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_22?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=craig%20rozniecki%20kindle&sprefix=craig+rozniecki+kindle%2Caps%2C228&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Acraig%20rozniecki%20kindle As always, if you have any questions, feel free to ask me by either commenting on this blog or e-mailing me at CRozniecki@gmail.com. Unless I'm out of town, I'm typically very good at responding rather quickly.

According to Chris Moody of Yahoo   News , Faith and Freedom Coalition founder Ralph Reed recently made the following comments during the group's "Road to Majority" conference in Washington, D.C.: "The battle looked like it was lost, but it really wasn't (the battle against slavery). And that's kind of like where we are right now. Anybody heard lately that we're losing the marriage issue? Anybody heard that argument? You notice some similarities? I'm not comparing slavery to same-sex marriage, OK? I'm just pointing out that when you have these fights, what's interesting is that if you look at same-sex marriage, it's now legal in 17 states. Only six out of those 17, six out of 50 states, had done it by referendum or by state legislature. In every other case, it was imposed by courts. Just like the courts had to impose Dred Scott. Because they couldn't do it on the country because the country didn't agree with it. The country, by t

A study was just released by the Violence Policy Center with regard to gun violence, and although it comes as no surprise to me, it showed that gun laws do matter. I know - shocker, right? The study's results came courtesy of newly released data with regard to gun death rates in 2011. Overall, the gun death rate was 10.38 per 100,000, and the number of Americans killed by gunfire rose slightly from 31,672 in 2010 to 32,351 in 2011. The numbers are downright embarrassing when compared to other Western industrialized countries, such as England and Australia, which had gun death rates of 0.23 and 0.86 per 100,000, respectively. When comparing the level of gun violence across states, the numbers showcased that higher levels of gun ownership and weaker gun laws in a state tended to equal higher gun death rates. The five states with the highest gun death rates had two things in common: 1) A high level of gun ownership, and 2) Lax gun laws. 1. Louisiana: 45.6% household gun ownershi

Republican politicians really need to stop talking about rape. In fact, if I were the leader of the Republican Party, I'd attach a shocking device to each and every member of the party, and make it go off anytime they uttered the word "rape." Even then, though, I'm guessing there's only about a 50% chance they'd stop talking about the rather touchy subject. When will they ever learn? Seriously? Todd Akin: "...If it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down..." Richard Mourdock: "I struggled with it myself for a long time, but I came to realize life is that gift from God. And I think even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that it is something that God intended to happen." That brings me to Maine State Representative Lawrence Lockman, who, as director of the Pro Life Education Association in 1990, said the following: "If a woman has (the right to abortion), why shoul

Anymore, it seems like not a day passes when I don't read about a young woman who was sexually assaulted or raped on (or near) campus, and every day, this news becomes ever more disturbing. The latest such report comes via Al Jazeera, who investigated students that had been assaulted or raped at the ultra-conservative Christian school Bob Jones University. During the summer before she started attending classes at Bob Jones, Katie Landry was raped by a coworker on multiple occasions. As is commonplace among rape victims, Landry felt shameful, and due to this, neglected to report the crime(s) for several years. Her grades suffered as a direct result of this. After she finally admitted the events to both herself and others, she sought counseling, only to be told by the dean of students that, "We have to find the sin in your life that caused your rape." No, that wasn't a typo. When speaking to Al Jazeera about the matter, Landry said the following: "He confirme

So, did you hear? Dick Cheney co-authored a column in The Wall Street Journal , where he both criticized and advised President Obama about the situation in Iraq. In light of this, word on the street has it that Tiger Woods will write a column where he gives helpful tips on how to have a very happy and long-lasting marriage. In the column, the Cheneys (Liz, along with Dick) wrote the following bits: - "Rarely has a U.S. president been so wrong about so much at the expense of so many..." - "When Mr. Obama and his team came into office in 2009, al Qaeda in Iraq had been largely defeated, thanks primarily to the heroic efforts of U.S. armed forces during the surge..." - "The president is willfully blind to the impact of his policies..." - "...Weakness and retreat are provocative. U.S. withdrawal from the world is disastrous and puts our own security at risk." - "American freedom will not be secured by empty threats, meaningless red l

A week ago today, Texas Governor Rick Perry made an appearance in San Francisco, and answered a question regarding homosexuality with this: "Whether or not you feel compelled to follow a particular lifestyle or not, you have the ability to decide not to do that. I may have the genetic coding that I'm inclined to be an alcoholic, but I have the desire not to do that, and I look at the homosexual issue the same way." A person doing several shots of liquor every night and attempting to drive home drunk? Someone who is sexually attracted to and loves another of the same gender? Yeah, that's exactly the same thing! Setting: A gay man gets pulled over by a cop late at night Francois Shaftacular: "Is there a problem, officer?" Officer Richard Head: "License and registration please..." Francois: "I don't think I was speeding. Is one of my break-lights out or something?" Officer Dick: "I've heard about you, Fran, Fran, F

As usual, I skimmed through the Columbus Dispatch letters-to-the-editor today. I'm not even sure why I do this any more. Perhaps I want to believe people in central Ohio suddenly brightened up over night. Perhaps these "letters" are my daytime talk shows, and after reading them, I pull out my Stuart Smalley card and say, "I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And doggone it, people like me." Perhaps I'm just a masochist. In any case, I stumbled upon another "winner" of a letter today. The  piece  was written by one Peggy McDonald of Powell, and entitled, "‘Redskins’ name for team is an honor, not a slur." Yes, it only gets better from there. Here's the letter: "Regarding the campaign to change the name of the Washington Redskins: First of all, I have the utmost respect for Native Americans. However, this name-change idea has just gone too far. I’ve lived a long, wonderful life and some of the most outrageous things are

According to a new Pew Research Center survey, atheists are not nearly as welcome into families as are born-again Christians. People whom took the survey were asked, "How would you feel if an immediate family member of yours was going to marry someone who does not believe in God? Happy, unhappy, or it wouldn't matter?" While just 4% said they'd be happy, 49% said they'd be unhappy (net -45%), and 46% said it wouldn't matter. Among Christians, approximately 2.8% said they'd be happy, 61.8% said they'd be unhappy (net -59%), and 35.4% said it wouldn't matter. When people were asked that same question, but with regard to born again Christians, here's how the numbers looked: Overall, 32% of the respondents said they'd be happy if someone in their immediate family married a born-again Christian, 9% said they'd be unhappy (net +23%),and 57% said it wouldn't matter. Among those whom are not affiliated with any religion, approximate

I recently got into a discussion regarding the phrase, "Everything happens for a reason." While I've written about this phrase before, and how much it irks me when another utters it, it's mainly due to 95% of the people using it in reference to a higher power and predestination. When I recently discussed this with another, she referred to its accuracy due to causality (everything does literally happen for a reason, due to cause and effect). While I don't think I can dispute that claim, again, the reason why this phrase gets under my skin so much (not literally) is because, most times, it's used in reference to predestination and not in reference to causality. While the causality route may appear to be insensitive when it's used with regard to a tragedy of some kind, it's at least accurate. The predestination route, to me anyway, comes across as both insensitive and likely inaccurate. Here is an example of each: Causality Route (rarely, if ever used)

Here's the URL to my Facebook business page. I update it fairly regularly, but still haven't put forth a great deal of effort yet in researching matters and attempting to make the most out of it. In any case, it can be perused here: http://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki?ref=hl Up next is my Twitter page. I'm still not 100% certain what I'm doing on there yet, but feel I'm gradually getting the hang of it and am up to 10.3 K followers. I update it daily with many of my own tweets, but also by retweeting some others'. It can be found here: https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki Lastly, here's my Tumblr page, which I've neglected quite a bit recently, but if you're at all curious, you can find it at the following link: http://www.tumblr.com/blog/rozzy81

For new readers (and regular ones, I suppose), here's some information pertaining to my books. All twelve of my books can be purchased in paperback form at the following site (and others): http://www.lulu.com/shop/search.ep?type=&keyWords=craig+rozniecki&x=7&y=5&sitesearch=lulu.com&q= The ten books I've written and released in the past 3 years (yes, I've been on a roll) can be purchased for much cheaper in Kindle form at the following link: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_22?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=craig%20rozniecki%20kindle&sprefix=craig+rozniecki+kindle%2Caps%2C228&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Acraig%20rozniecki%20kindle As always, if you have any questions, feel free to ask me by either commenting on this blog or e-mailing me at CRozniecki@gmail.com. Unless I'm out of town, I'm typically very good at responding rather quickly.

On May 18th, the Detroit Tigers owned the best record in all of baseball at 27-12 - a game and a half up on Oakland for the top spot. In the AL Central, second-place Kansas City was a full seven games behind the Tigers, and Cleveland was in last place, ten and a half games back. Fast-forward about a month to the present day. Detroit is now 36-29 (9-17 in their past 26 games), is just one and a half games up on second-place Kansas City, and only five and a half games up on last-place Chicago. So, what happened? While the team has had some struggles offensively here and there, most of the blame can be placed on the pitching - on both the starters and relievers. Of this group, the first three names that spring to mind are: Phil Coke, Joe Nathan, and Justin Verlander. While Joe Nathan is a veteran closer, he has had some arm troubles in the past and isn't a spring chicken any more. While the man has 13 saves to his credit, he's also blown several games, and has a 3-2 record due t

Having lived in Ohio over the past 5-6 years, and gone through the LeBron-James-is-heading-to-South-Beach transition, I've heard a great deal of talk and debate regarding the superstar. While it seems that approximately 80% of basketball fans in the state still want to give LeBron the middle finger to his face, the two main points of debate regarding him are: 1) Where does he stack up with the all-time greats (namely, Michael Jordan), and 2) Is he the main reason why his teams have fallen on the short end of the stick in the playoffs more times than not? NBA fans in this state - especially Cleveland Cavaliers die-hards - appear to believe that LeBron James was simply a choke-artist in Cleveland - that and he gave up too frequently. When it comes to the Cavs losing in the finals, or during other playoff runs, it seems that a majority of fans here mainly blame James for the team's disappointing finish to their season. They also don't believe he's even in Michael Jordan&

So, apparently, the GOP-controlled House has declared that they likely won't vote on immigration reform because of the deal President Obama made to get Army Sergeant Bowe Bergdahl home. Am I surprised? No. Do I find it kind of funny? In a sad sort of way, yes. This is nothing new for Congressional Republicans since Obama stepped into office. They've continually declared that they can't do their jobs because of a decision the president made which they don't agree with. There was "Obamacare," Benghazi, the IRS, the healthcare website, Fast and Furious, the NSA, drones, Solyndra, and now Bergdahl (among others). Here's a basic rundown of how these discussions go: Reporter: "So, do you think there will be enough Republicans whom vote for this bill to aid our veterans in order for it to pass?" GOP Congressperson: "It's unlikely we'll be voting on the bill at this time." Reporter: "Why is that?" GOP Congressperson:

I admit, I'm kind of old-school with phones. I typically use them for, well, calling people, and for answering others' phone calls. I'm crazy like that. I admit, I will check my email once in a while if I'm out and about, may take a picture of something I find to be amusing or interesting, and may play a word game or two, but that's about as far as I go. To this point in my life, I have never taken a selfie. You don't believe me, do you? Check my records. Not one selfie. I've also never partaken in these silly photo trends. You know the ones. I'm talking about: Planking, duck-faces, fake mustaches, and I'm not sure what else. I know - I'm no fun. Because, let's face it, when most people think about "fun," the first four things that pop into mind are: 1) Taking pictures of themselves (we're suddenly all professional photographers), 2) Laying out like you're a plank (Captain Hook would be proud...), 3) Making a face only a duc

While I've written twelve books in the past nine years, ten of those in the past 3-4, and have over 10,000 followers on Twitter, I'm still having trouble with the marketing aspect of my work. For me, writing books is the easy part of the whole process. It's marketing them which has me with a seemingly permanent shrug of the shoulders. If any of my readers happen to know of a literary agent, marketer, investor, radio show host, or reviewer whom you feel would be willing to work with me, and could help in marketing my work, I would greatly appreciate it if you'd let me know - preferably via email at CRozniecki@gmail.com. If any of my readers would be willing to write a review for one of my four recently published books, again, feel free to send me an email, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out (those four books being: The Kind-Hearted Smartass: Volume 2 - The Wisecracks Continue  (Uncensored Version), The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck: Volume 2 - The Wisecr

Here's the URL to my Facebook business page. I update it fairly regularly, but still haven't put forth a great deal of effort yet in researching matters and attempting to make the most out of it. In any case, it can be perused here: http://www.facebook.com/AuthorCraigRozniecki?ref=hl Up next is my Twitter page. I'm still not 100% certain what I'm doing on there yet, but feel I'm gradually getting the hang of it and am up to 10.1 K followers. I update it daily with many of my own tweets, but also by retweeting some others'. It can be found here: https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki Lastly, here's my Tumblr page, which I've neglected quite a bit recently, but if you're at all curious, you can find it at the following link: http://www.tumblr.com/blog/rozzy81

For new readers (and regular ones, I suppose), here's some information pertaining to my books. All twelve of my books can be purchased in paperback form at the following site (and others): http://www.lulu.com/shop/search.ep?type=&keyWords=craig+rozniecki&x=7&y=5&sitesearch=lulu.com&q= The ten books I've written and released in the past 3 years (yes, I've been on a roll) can be purchased for much cheaper in Kindle form at the following link: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_22?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=craig%20rozniecki%20kindle&sprefix=craig+rozniecki+kindle%2Caps%2C228&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Acraig%20rozniecki%20kindle As always, if you have any questions, feel free to ask me by either commenting on this blog or e-mailing me at CRozniecki@gmail.com. Unless I'm out of town, I'm typically very good at responding rather quickly.

Beyond Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs (on pages 96-101 in LOL at the GOP: Volume 5 - You Can't Spell "Forgot To Take Their Crazy Pills" Without "Tea Party" ) Led by the Tea Party, the further to the right the GOP travels, the more it appears they're devoid of reality. When it comes to the problems of this world, it'll help more to pray than to actually do something about them. When it comes to gun violence, films, music, and video games are more to blame than the actual device which injured or killed people. Interpretation of scripture trumps scientific evidence to the contrary. Conspiracies take precedence over fact-checking. Yes, in the modern-day Republican Party, it's felt like the story of the Easter Bunny is more widely believed than that of Gandhi, and here's a story which attempts to depict just how cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs they've become. Setting: A group of Republicans sitting around a table in a conference meeting room Ted Cruz: "O

Bad-ass Jesus (on pages 93-96 in LOL at the GOP: Volume 5 - You Can't Spell "Forgot To Take Their Crazy Pills" Without "Tea Party" ) I often times wonder what Bible far-right Republicans, especially Tea Partiers, are reading. Many claim to be devout Christians - worshipers of Christ. However, when hearing them speak and seeing what actions they've taken while in office, these words and actions don't really jive with the central character in the Bible and the man they supposedly worship - Jesus. From speaking out against homosexuals, to trying to provide the rich benefits while taking away from the poor, to treating guns like gods, to going to war with smiles on their faces, it puzzles me to no end how these very people can adamantly declare that they are followers of Christ. Whatever Bible they've read, this appears to be how it came across to them: Setting: On a bench in downtown San Francisco, since the Jewish Jesus was apparently born in the Un

What if other workers treated their jobs like Tea Partiers do? (on pages 11-12 in LOL at the GOP: Volume 5 - You Can't Spell "Forgot To Take Their Crazy Pills" Without "Tea Party" ) It seems that politicians affiliated with the Tea Party think the government is evil, aren't coy about saying this, and do everything in their power to shut down the government. I've always found this to be a tad odd. First off, why would someone seek a position with a group he or she didn't believe in? Secondly, if this person was hired, why would he or she do everything in their power to shut it down? Can you imagine people in other professions holding a similar philosophy? If these individuals were to earn their jobs through a vote, I imagine their ads would go as follows: Position: Teacher "I'm going to be frank - I don't believe in public education. I never did, as a matter of fact. It's actually my goal to get education abolished entirely. We s

To Bill O'Reilly, marijuana = Russian roulette (on pages 93-96 in LOL at the GOP: Volume 4 - Guns, Jesus, Corporations, and Fetuses ... #'s in parentheses indicates footnotes) With marijuana officially becoming legal for recreational purposes in Colorado, Fox News host and man known to scream his own name during sex - Bill O'Reilly - has made some rather bizarre statements on the new law. On January 6th of this year, O'Reilly said the following on his own show, The O'Reilly Factor: "...Let's take it step by step. If you use any intoxicating agent, your goal is to leave reality. You're not satisfied with your current state of mind, you want to get high, buzzed, blasted, whatever. Some adults can handle that on occasion, others cannot, so it's literally Russian roulette, but putting intoxicating agents in the hands of children can be devastating."(88) Either O'Reilly doesn't know what the word "literally" means or he'

The GOP’s new Ten Commandments (on pages 72-74 in LOL at the GOP: Volume 4 - Guns, Jesus, Corporations, and Fetuses ... #'s in parentheses indicate footnotes) With the Republican Party, led by Tea Partiers, getting more and more extreme and seeming to be increasingly clueless on the messages of the Bible, yet pulling scriptures out of their backsides anyway, I think it's about time the party comes up with a new list of Commandments which better suits their beliefs and agenda. The actual Ten Commandments are as follows: 1. "Thou shalt have no other gods before me." 2. "Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image." 3. "Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain." 4. "Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy." 5. "Honour thy father and thy mother." 6. "Thou shalt not kill." 7. "Thou shalt not commit adultery." 8. "Thou shalt not steal." 9. "Thou shalt not bea

The Obamascare (on pages 9-12 in LOL at the GOP: Volume 4 - Guns, Jesus, Corporations, and Fetuses ) Larry the Fable Guy: "Everyone run! Let's get out of here! It's coming!" Jeff Cockworthy: "It is? Well, shoot. Looks like I'll have to leave my adult toys in the washer." Bill Dingbat: "Can I put mine in your washer too? Mine isn't working." Jeff: "We're getting out of here, numbnuts. I'm sure there will be plenty of adult toys wherever we wind up going." Ron High: "Dudes, chill out. Can I at least finish my whiskey?" Larry: "That's your eighth one, slick!" Ron: "Yeah, I know. You guys go on without me. I'm just going to pass out over here by this lovely neighbor's mailbox. Hopefully the person that lives here is hot and takes care of me nice and good, if you know what I mean." Larry: "Okay, fine! Jeff? Bill? Do you guys wanna stay here with Ron and die or are yo

Cosmo knows how to give sex advice like yes-men know how to say no (on pages 172-174 in The Kind-Hearted Smarta*s: Volume 2 - The Wisecracks Continue ... #'s in parentheses indicate footnotes) I have a hunch many whom failed out of college trying to become shrinks wound up writing for Cosmopolitan magazine. Whenever a woman tells me about some advice she read in Cosmo, roughly 88.9% of the time I shake my head, cringe, and say, "Somebody's going to wind up in a hospital." Here are a few such examples provided by the lovely world of Cosmo: Advice: "Give his wiener an Indian burn." (182) Yes, next to rug burns and fire burns, Indian burns are men's favorite kind of burns on their wieners. On the made-up adult version of Family Feud, when guys were asked the question, "What can a woman do with your penis that turns you on the most?" these were the top answers: 5. Look at it with a pair of horny eyes 4. Stroke it the way Clarence Carte