The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

The latest episode of my podcast ( I Feel Snitty ), entitled, "Drumpf Doesn't Know the Best Geography," is now available! Here's a brief description of the episode: Donald Trump made it perfectly clear this past week that he firmly believes the state of Colorado borders the non-state of Mexico. This is, of course, not true. Colorado does border New Mexico, but last I checked, Mexico and New Mexico were not the same thing. I'm being told they still aren't. Thanks, map. In this week's episode, I play a game with (my version of) Trump called, "What Do You Know About a State?," to test his seemingly nonexistent geographical knowledge. Eye-roller discretion is advised. You can check it out here:  https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/drumpf-doesnt-know-the-best-geography/

Due to a tweet of mine, I was recently mentioned on Raw Story . You can check it out here: https://www.rawstory.com/2019/10/tools-are-useful-hes-not-internet-cracks-up-as-anti-matt-gaetz-hashtag-overtakes-national-cat-day/

I've had some fun with trending hashtags on Twitter over the past 3 weeks. Here are my posts, ordered from the most to the least popular (all my tweets can be viewed here - https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki ): 1) Morning, noon, and night, Donald Trump be like... [GIF of kid throwing a fit] #ThePresidentIsACrybaby 1.9K Likes, 399 Retweets 2) Trump: "The only reason Joe Biden was a good Vice President was because he knew how to kiss Barack Obama's ass." That's pretty rich coming from a guy who regularly kisses the ass of foreign dictators... #TrumpMinneapolis 666 Likes, 181 Retweets 3) What did Matt Gaetz say/do this time to prompt the #MattGaetzIsATool trending hashtag? Oh, wait, everything he says or does prompts this... 490 Likes, 192 Retweets 4) "Should Trump be impeached?" Castro: "Si" O'Rourke: "Si, si" Harris: "Hell to the yes!" Sanders: "F*ck yeah!" Biden: "Duh!" Warren: &

I received the following comments on episode 15 of my podcast ( I Feel Snitty ), entitled, "Fox No News (part 2)": - "I love this, especially the bit with the women in Walmart fighting!" - "Your latest podcast had me in stitches! The Fox News hypocrisy was perfectly skewered!" You can check it out here: https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/fox-no-news-part-2/

In Week 8 of the NFL season, I learned that... - ..., as New York Jets quarterback Sam Darnold has demonstrated, one of the side effects of getting over mononucleosis is seeing ghosts for at least 2 weeks. - ...Indianapolis Colts place kicker Adam Vinatieri is the first 96-year-old to ever go from goat to GOAT in an NFL game. - ..., at just the halfway point of the season, Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Jameis Winston is already being named the Walter Payton Man of the Year, due to his volunteer and charity work. For the first time in the history of the award, it's being given to an individual for their giving nature on the field and not off it. - ...Cleveland Browns quarterback Baker Mayfield won an old college bet that you CAN in fact get intercepted on a shovel pass. Quick, someone get that guy a Busch! - ...the three slowest moving things in history are, in no particular order: a sloth on Prozac; a dead person; and a Philip Rivers pass. - ...Chicago shall now be k

The latest episode of my podcast ( I Feel Snitty ), entitled, "Fox No News (part 2)," is now available and can be heard here -  https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/fox-no-news-part-2/ . Here's a brief description of the episode: With the lone fair-and-balanced voice on the network which branded itself as such resigning, in Shepard Smith, I thought I'd take a look back at all the BS Shep has had to deal with through the years at the network formerly known as Fox News. Since there's so much of it, the show will be divided into two installments, starting in anti-Memento fashion, with part 1. Oh, sorry, spoiler alert... In any case, here's the final portion of the episode.

In Week 7 of the NFL season, I learned that... - ...all Cincinnati Bengals quarterback Andy Dalton wants for Christmas is a new identity. - ...a Doug Pederson victory guarantee is worth about as much as a Norm Peterson tab. -- ..., if Nick Bosa ever runs for president, his slogan will inevitably be, "Make Slip 'N' Sliding On Wet Grass Great Again." - ...New Orleans Saints head coach Sean Payton could be told he couldn't use flour or yeast in a pizza bake-off and still win the competition. - ...New York Giants rookie quarterback Daniel Jones, nicknamed "Danny Dimes" by his teammates after his first game, is now being nicknamed by opponents as "Danny Ducks." - ...AARP President Matt Schaub is still playing. Seriously, who knew?!? - ..., in spirit, former Cardinals head coach Denny Green is repeatedly shouting, "We are not as bad as they thought we were!" - ...Los Angeles Chargers tailback Melvin Gordon&#

I received this comment on episodes 12 and 13 of my podcast ( I Feel Snitty ), "Insane in the Ukraine (parts 1 and 2)": - "Very funny and insightful!" https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/insane-in-the-ukraine-part-1/ https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/insane-in-the-ukraine-part-2/

The latest episode of my podcast ( I Feel Snitty ), entitled, "Fox No News (part 1)," is now available! Check it out here: https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/fox-no-news-part-1/ Here's a brief description of the episode: With the lone fair-and-balanced voice on the network which branded itself as such resigning, in Shepard Smith, I thought I'd take a look back at all the BS Shep has had to deal with through the years at the network formerly known as Fox News. Since there's so much of it, the show will be divided into two installments, starting in anti-Memento fashion, with part 1. Oh, sorry, spoiler alert...

I just received the following comment on my podcast, I Feel Snitty : "...I’ve been wanting to check out your podcast but was spelling your last name wrong and couldn’t remember what it was called, and old account is gone...it’s hilarious by the way!" To check out any of the episodes, go to this link:  https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/

I received the following comments on episode 13 of my podcast, entitled, "Insane in the Ukraine (part 2)": - "I love the speculation of the missing part of the transcript! Trump is phenomenally stupid! Hysterical!" - "I just listened to it, HILARIOUS! Good job. tRump: 'What's that called anyway, you know... I do something....'" The episode can be heard here: https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/insane-in-the-ukraine-part-2/

Here are my rankings from after the third Democratic debate (https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/2019/09/democratic-candidate-rankings-post.html). Here now are my rankings post-debate #4, with the change in their rankings noted in parentheses: 18) John Delaney (+/-0) 17) Wayne Messam (+/-0) 16) Steve Bullock (+/-0) 15) Marianne Williamson (+/-0) 14) Michael Bennet (+/-0) 13) Tom Steyer (+/-0) 12) Tulsi Gabbard (+/-0) 11) Tim Ryan (+/-0) 10) Beto O'Rourke (+/-0) 9) Andrew Yang (-1) 8) Joe Biden (-2) 7) Bernie Sanders (-2) 6) Julian Castro (+3) 5) Amy Klobuchar (+2) 4) Cory Booker (+/-0) 3) Elizabeth Warren (-1) 2) Kamala Harris (-1) 1) Pete Buttigieg (+2) Who should stay in? 1) Pete Buttigieg 2) Kamala Harris 3) Elizabeth Warren 4) Cory Booker 5) Amy Klobuchar 6) Julian Castro 7) Bernie Sanders 8) Joe Biden 9 ) Andrew Yang 10) Beto O'Rourke Who should get out? 1) John Delaney 2) Wayne Messam 3) Steve

Here's how I rank the Democratic candidates' debate performances from debate 4: 12) Tom Steyer : In his first debate and hopefully last debate, billionaire Tom Steyer said a whole lot of nothin'. Seriously, try recalling one thing he said besides his usual trope of, "Impeach Trump!" Take your time... 11) Tulsi Gabbard : While Ms. Gabbard may be nice to look at, she has basically cemented herself as the Trump-friendly Democratic candidate. Good luck running on that platform the rest of the way through... 10) Elizabeth Warren : Senator Warren received the brunt of the attacks throughout the course of the night, and with mixed results, to be kind. She often appeared to be on the defensive, wasn't able to successfully elaborate or specify on how she was going to pay for her healthcare plan, and all in all, I think it was her poorest showing at a debate thus far. 9) Andrew Yang : On the flip-side, I think this was the strongest debate performance by Andrew

In Week 6 of the NFL season, I learned that... - ..., if a little person were assaulted by Andre the Giant in front of a daydreaming NFL referee, he wouldn't believe it happened, even after The Undertaker showed him footage of the incident from his smartphone, which he calls Cell Death. - ..., if you're ever in a rush for a turnover cake, or a turnover anything really, go to Jameis Winston, as he'll likely have six ready for you. - ...New York Jets quarterback Sam Darnold proved the best way to get over mononucleosis is beating a bunch of Cowboys. - ...the only thing more offensive than the Redskins nickname is having to watch them play the Miami Dolphins. - ...the Tennessee Titans' offense scores on opposing defenses like the president scores with porn stars named after weather patterns while married to his third wife. Oh, wait... - ...if GEICO ever brings back their caveman commercials, Miami Dolphins quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick will be set for his post-f

For those who haven't yet, please do me a favor and follow my podcast, I Feel Snitty . I've been receiving very positive feedback thus far, so come on and join the fun! - https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/

I just released episode 13 of my podcast ( I Feel Snitty ), entitled, "Insane in the Ukraine (part 2)." Here's a brief description: So rumor has it Donald Trump has gotten himself into a bit of a scandal, where he offered military aid to Ukraine in exchange for help in the 2020 presidential election. In a sad attempt to quash the controversy, the White House released a memo of a 30-minute phone call between Trump and Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky, where Zelensky asks for military funding and Trump shoots back with, "I want a favor, though..." Even when reading the memo at a rather slow pace, however, only 15 of the reported 30 minutes are covered in the summary. In part 2, I bring to you those missing 15 minutes. It can be heard here: https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/insane-in-the-ukraine-part-2/

I just released episode 12 of my podcast ( I Feel Snitty ), entitled, "Insane in the Ukraine (part 1)." Here's a brief description: So rumor has it Donald Trump has gotten himself into a bit of a scandal, where he offered military aid to Ukraine in exchange for help in the 2020 presidential election. In a sad attempt to quash the controversy, the White House released a memo of a 30-minute phone call between Trump and Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky, where Zelensky asks for military funding and Trump shoots back with, "I want a favor, though..." Even when reading the memo at a rather slow pace, however, only 15 of the reported 30 minutes are covered in the summary. In part 1, I have reenacted the conversation which was released by the White House. It can be heard here: https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/insane-in-the-ukraine-part-1/

I just received the following comment on episode 11 of my podcast ( I Feel Snitty ), entitled, "Impeach the Kraken!": "Nice, Craig. I really enjoyed the closing. I look forward to next week’s episode..." You can check out the episode here: https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/impeach-the-kraken/

I received the following comments on episode 11 of my podcast, entitled, "Impeach the Kraken!": - "Powerful words for a broken society!" - "Everything is well said!" You can check out the episode here - https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/impeach-the-kraken/

I've had some fun with trending hashtags on Twitter over the past month. Here are my posts, ordered from the most to the least popular (all my tweets can be seen here - https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki ): 1) The only 2020 Trump landslide will be this one. [GIF of a fat man sliding down a slide on land] #Trump2020LandslideVictory 3,000 Likes, 393 Retweets 2) At the pace he's going, I'm predicting Donald Trump's head explodes at some point while speaking/tweeting today. My money's on 7:11 pm EST. #TrumpPressConference #TrumpMeltdown 1,500 Likes, 313 Retweets 3) Trump: "Some people say what Schiff did was treason." Some people = One person (the moron in the White House) #TrumpPressConference 1,400 Likes, 313 Retweets 4) "If a whistleblower is credible, should there be an investigation into his or her claim?" McGuire: "Yes" "Is this whistleblower credible?" McGuire: "Yes" "So there should t

In Week 5 of the NFL season, I learned that... - ...the Miami Dolphins really do look better on bye weeks. - ...the Cincinnati Bengals are rumored to be writing the book, "101 Ways to Lose a Football Game." - ..., after winning their game in London, Oakland head coach Jon Gruden is starting a petition to rename next year's team to the Las Vegas Bloody Wankers. - ..., due to his brother getting fired by Washington, Little Chucky (Jon Gruden) is officially praying for Former Redskin Chucky. - ...Baker Mayfield stares down his receivers like a drunk man nicknamed Creepy Craigsy stares down Sofia Vergara if she were a waitress at Hooters. - ...the Atlanta Falcons give up touchdowns in their sleep. Seriously, the entire team has been diagnosed with noctasuckism. - ..., given his lack of knowledge on just about everything, it's now being assumed "Monday Night Football" announcer Booger McFarland will soon replace Betsy DeVos as the Secretary of Educa

The latest episode of my podcast ( I Feel Snitty ), entitled, "Release the Kraken!," is now available! Here's a brief description of it: "The time to impeach the monster in the White House is now, bigly! That's pretty much all that needs to be said to describe this episode. Mr. Forrest Gump, take it away... 'That's all I have to say about that.' Thank you." You can listen to it here:  https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/impeach-the-kraken/

I just received the following comment on episode 11 of my podcast ( I Feel Snitty ), entitled, "More Random Than 3 AM Trump Tweets After He Snorts Adderall": - "Very funny way of looking at 45 and his ignorant antics. You make me laugh instead of crying and I deeply appreciate this!" You can listen to the episode here:  https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/more-random-than-3-am-trump-tweets-after-he-snorts-adderall/

In Week 4 of the NFL season, I learned that... - ...Cleveland Browns tailback Nick Chubb's role model is obviously Forrest Gump: "I just started running!" - ...refs know consistency like Pope Francis knows herpes. - ..., due to how hard they're getting beat, Washington may want to change their nickname to the BlackAndBlueSkins. - ..., no matter what object you look at, it could probably have played better defense than anyone on the LA Rams or Tampa Bay Buccaneers this past weekend. That paper airplane you see to your right? Yeah, that could have too. - ...Cam Newton is suffering from a condition known as pussyfoot. - ...the only thing more dangerous than Dr. Claw eyeing the nuclear button is the Chicago Bears defense. - ...replays are as kind to the Detroit Lions as lightning is kind to Spectrum customers. - ..., when asked about the new P.I.-challenge rule, Yoda reportedly said, "No f*cking idea, what pass interference is anymore