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What I learned in Week 6 of the NFL season...

In Week 6 of the NFL season, I learned that...

- ..., if a little person were assaulted by Andre the Giant in front of a daydreaming NFL referee, he wouldn't believe it happened, even after The Undertaker showed him footage of the incident from his smartphone, which he calls Cell Death.

- ..., if you're ever in a rush for a turnover cake, or a turnover anything really, go to Jameis Winston, as he'll likely have six ready for you.

- ...New York Jets quarterback Sam Darnold proved the best way to get over mononucleosis is beating a bunch of Cowboys.

- ...the only thing more offensive than the Redskins nickname is having to watch them play the Miami Dolphins.

- ...the Tennessee Titans' offense scores on opposing defenses like the president scores with porn stars named after weather patterns while married to his third wife. Oh, wait...

- ...if GEICO ever brings back their caveman commercials, Miami Dolphins quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick will be set for his post-football career.

- ...Baker Mayfield and his receivers seem to be on such different wavelengths, you'd swear they were married.

- ...the national holiday known as Flag Day actually gets celebrated every Thursday, Sunday, and Monday between September and February.

- ..., whenever watching the Cincinnati Bengals, instead of featuring announcers, networks should just play Sarah McLachlan songs on repeat.

- ...free kicks make about as much sense as being rewarded $500 for landing on Free Parking.
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