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What I learned in Week 8 of the NFL season,,,

In Week 8 of the NFL season, I learned that...

- ..., as New York Jets quarterback Sam Darnold has demonstrated, one of the side effects of getting over mononucleosis is seeing ghosts for at least 2 weeks.

- ...Indianapolis Colts place kicker Adam Vinatieri is the first 96-year-old to ever go from goat to GOAT in an NFL game.

- ..., at just the halfway point of the season, Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Jameis Winston is already being named the Walter Payton Man of the Year, due to his volunteer and charity work. For the first time in the history of the award, it's being given to an individual for their giving nature on the field and not off it.

- ...Cleveland Browns quarterback Baker Mayfield won an old college bet that you CAN in fact get intercepted on a shovel pass. Quick, someone get that guy a Busch!

- ...the three slowest moving things in history are, in no particular order: a sloth on Prozac; a dead person; and a Philip Rivers pass.

- ...Chicago shall now be known as the burnt-out Bears, for their offense continually puts forth time, energy, and effort, yet constantly feel as if they accomplished nothing. Sadly for them, they're usually right.

- ..., in his spare time, Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers is obviously a magician, for even when he looks straight at the ground, he can see downfield better than anyone in human history, even that old creepy neighbor of yours with the binoculars.

- ..., even after seeing their team improve to 7-0, San Francisco 49ers fans are making like Cleveland Indians fans from the film "Major League," and asking, "Who are these f*cking guys?!?"

- ...the question on everyone's mind has finally been answered - yes, the New Orleans Saints can win without 5-0 backup quarterback Teddy Bridgewater.

- ...the Cincinnati Bengals are bloody awful blokes, regardless of the country they play in. Their playcalling in London was barmy codswallop. Fans deserve to be narked and get pissed while noshing up.
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