An excerpt from my book, "LOL at the GOP: Vol. 4" (The GOP's new Ten Commandments)

The GOP’s new Ten Commandments (on pages 72-74 in LOL at the GOP: Volume 4 - Guns, Jesus, Corporations, and Fetuses... #'s in parentheses indicate footnotes)
With the Republican Party, led by Tea Partiers, getting more and more extreme and seeming to be increasingly clueless on the messages of the Bible, yet pulling scriptures out of their backsides anyway, I think it's about time the party comes up with a new list of Commandments which better suits their beliefs and agenda.

The actual Ten Commandments are as follows:

1. "Thou shalt have no other gods before me."

2. "Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image."

3. "Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain."

4. "Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy."

5. "Honour thy father and thy mother."

6. "Thou shalt not kill."

7. "Thou shalt not commit adultery."

8. "Thou shalt not steal."

9. "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour."

10. "Thou shalt not covet."(58)

Now here is the updated GOP-version of the Ten Commandments:

1. "Thou shalt not kill the innocent, unless they're on death row."

2. "Thou shalt not be gay, except for in college every now and again."

3. "Honour thy gun, fetus, and corporation."

4. "Thou shalt not believe research unless the study was conducted by Jesus."

5. "Remember to wear a condom only if it's a one-night stand and her name is Cinnamon."

6. "Thou shalt not commit adultery unless she's in Argentina."

7. "Thou shalt not steal, except for land from the Natives."

8. "Thou shalt not let the rich starve."

9. "Thou shalt not judge straight white men."

10. "Thou shalt not go a day without trying to defeat the ultimate evil of this world - Obamacare."

(58) Thou shalt stop using the words “thou shalt” in everyday conversation.

(LOL at the GOP: Volume 4 - Guns, Jesus, Corporations, and Fetuses can be viewed and purchased on paperback at http://www.lulu.com/shop/craig-rozniecki/lol-at-the-gop-volume-4-guns-jesus-corporations-and-fetuses/paperback/product-21580004.html, and can be viewed and purchased on Kindle at http://www.amazon.com/Lol-Gop-Volume-Corporations-Fetuses/dp/1312083344/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&qid=1402336939&sr=8-6&keywords=craig+rozniecki)

My podcast, "I Feel Snitty," is available at Amazon Music!

My podcast, "I Feel Snitty," can now be heard on Amazon Music/Audible! You can check it out at this link: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/a42809aa-5c21-4807-affc-0bda98741438/I-Feel-Snitty-with-Craig-Rozniecki

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...

The difference between "looking" and "checking out"

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i...

The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

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