An excerpt from my book "The Kind-Hearted Smarta*s - Vol. 2" (Hooked on Phonics obviously didn't work for characters in horror films)
Hooked on Phonics obviously didn’t work for characters in horror films (page 54-55 in the book The Kind-Hearted Smarta*s: Volume 2 - The Wisecracks Continue)
Is it just me or is there a written requirement somewhere which says, "If you're a character in a horror film, you have to be stupid”?
I went to see the film The Purge a while back, and like with many contemporary horror films, I spent most of my time laughing and giving the why-in-the-hell-are-they-doing-this-are-they-stupid look. Yes, I know the main intent of horror films is to frighten viewers. However, if the viewers find the script and plot so ridiculous, it's unbelievable to the point of being silly, then how will the film genuinely frighten said viewers?
Here's my slightly exaggerated version of a scene from a contemporary horror film:
Setting: A newly wed couple driving along the interstate, heading to Little Rock, Arkansas late at night
Mr. Eugene Blockhead: "Oh, look, honey. There's that man over there looking for a ride. What do you think? Should we pick him up?"
Mrs. Mikayla Blockhead: "I don't know, sweetie. He's wearing a mask and has a chainsaw. Also, I don't think he's covered with ketchup."
Eugene: "So, yes, then?"
Mikayla: "Yeah, sure - why not? What's the worst that could happen?"
Eugene: "Yeah, I know - right? Alright, I'm going to pull over here."
::Both Eugene and Mikayla get out of the car and start waving and smiling::
Mikayla: "Do you need a ride, sir?"
::the man nods::
Eugene: "What's your name? My name is Eugene Blockhead, and this is my lovely wife, Mikayla Blockhead. How do you do?"
Creepy guy: "My name's Imagonnakillyou!"
Mikayla: "That's an unusual name. Where are you from?"
Imagonnakillyou: ::roars, before starting up his chainsaw and walking toward the couple::
Eugene: "Whatcha doin'? We can give you a lift if you'd like. We're really in no hurry and love to help people such as yourself. Where are you headed?"
Imagonnakillyou: "For your head!"
Eugene: "He's so funny. He..." ::head gets chopped off::
Mikayla: "Is that a magic trick? Can you do me next? Please? I love magic! I just lo...." ::head gets chopped off::
Imagonnakillyou: "Idiots..."
(The Kind-Hearted Smarta*s: Volume 2 - The Wisecracks Continue can be viewed and purchased on paperback at http://www.lulu.com/shop/craig-rozniecki/the-kind-hearted-smartass-volume-2-the-wisecracks-continue-uncensored-version/paperback/product-21574154.html, and can be viewed and purchased on Kindle at http://www.amazon.com/The-Kind-Hearted-Smartass-Wisecracks-Uncensored/dp/1312063025/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1402334790&sr=8-4&keywords=craig+rozniecki)
Is it just me or is there a written requirement somewhere which says, "If you're a character in a horror film, you have to be stupid”?
I went to see the film The Purge a while back, and like with many contemporary horror films, I spent most of my time laughing and giving the why-in-the-hell-are-they-doing-this-are-they-stupid look. Yes, I know the main intent of horror films is to frighten viewers. However, if the viewers find the script and plot so ridiculous, it's unbelievable to the point of being silly, then how will the film genuinely frighten said viewers?
Here's my slightly exaggerated version of a scene from a contemporary horror film:
Setting: A newly wed couple driving along the interstate, heading to Little Rock, Arkansas late at night
Mr. Eugene Blockhead: "Oh, look, honey. There's that man over there looking for a ride. What do you think? Should we pick him up?"
Mrs. Mikayla Blockhead: "I don't know, sweetie. He's wearing a mask and has a chainsaw. Also, I don't think he's covered with ketchup."
Eugene: "So, yes, then?"
Mikayla: "Yeah, sure - why not? What's the worst that could happen?"
Eugene: "Yeah, I know - right? Alright, I'm going to pull over here."
::Both Eugene and Mikayla get out of the car and start waving and smiling::
Mikayla: "Do you need a ride, sir?"
::the man nods::
Eugene: "What's your name? My name is Eugene Blockhead, and this is my lovely wife, Mikayla Blockhead. How do you do?"
Creepy guy: "My name's Imagonnakillyou!"
Mikayla: "That's an unusual name. Where are you from?"
Imagonnakillyou: ::roars, before starting up his chainsaw and walking toward the couple::
Eugene: "Whatcha doin'? We can give you a lift if you'd like. We're really in no hurry and love to help people such as yourself. Where are you headed?"
Imagonnakillyou: "For your head!"
Eugene: "He's so funny. He..." ::head gets chopped off::
Mikayla: "Is that a magic trick? Can you do me next? Please? I love magic! I just lo...." ::head gets chopped off::
Imagonnakillyou: "Idiots..."
(The Kind-Hearted Smarta*s: Volume 2 - The Wisecracks Continue can be viewed and purchased on paperback at http://www.lulu.com/shop/craig-rozniecki/the-kind-hearted-smartass-volume-2-the-wisecracks-continue-uncensored-version/paperback/product-21574154.html, and can be viewed and purchased on Kindle at http://www.amazon.com/The-Kind-Hearted-Smartass-Wisecracks-Uncensored/dp/1312063025/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1402334790&sr=8-4&keywords=craig+rozniecki)
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