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The Trump Bible!

BREAKING NEWS: I've just gotten a hold of the Trump Bible! Since he's never read a word of the actual Bible, it's no surprise to see these are books listed in his version of it:

Bold Testament
- Genocide
- Exes Suck
- Cussing Levites
- I Know Numbers; I Have the Best Numbers, Believe Me
- Dude, You’re Hot on Me
- Joshua Tree
- Fake, No Good, Corrupt Judges, Who Are Only Out to Get Me
- Baby Ruth
- One Samuel Adams
- Make That Two Samuel Adams
- One Kings
- Two King
- One Criminals
- Two Criminal
- Not Better Than Ezra, Believe Me
- Nehemiah Was a Bullfrog
- Tobit or Not Tobit
- Hey Judith
- The Esther Bunny
- One Mack Daddies
- Two Mack Daddy
- Between Jobs
- Psalm Trees
- Proverbs: I/Me/My/Mine
- Eh, That Shit’s Nasty
- Banned to Play Any Song or Songs at My Rallies
- Wisdumb
- Honey Siracha
- Isaiah the Best Words
- Jeremiah Wrong
- Lame Plantations
- Baruch, Baruch, Baruch Is on Fire
- Ezekial? Never Knew Him
- Coffee-Boy Daniel
- Hosee? See Ho
- The First Joel
- Amos & Andrew
- Oba Bing Bing Bong Bong Bing Bing
- Jonah Ark
- Be Like Micah
- Nahumpty Nahdumpty
- HabaKKuK
- Zephaniah Is a Ten
- The Orange of the Word Haggai
- Czar Zechariah
- Malachi Band

Nude Testament
- Mad Matt
- Marky Mark
- Luke of Earl
- Johnny Be Great, Not Good, Great, So Great, Like Really, Really Great, Bigly
- Acts of Kindness Are Stoopid
- Roman Noodle
- One Corinthians
- Two Corinthian
- Galapagos
- Free Mansons
- Phillip and Ian
- Colonoscopies
- One Dress Alone Agains
- Two Dress Alone Again
- One Tiny Tims
- Two Tall Tim
- Tits ‘R’ Us
- Pokemon
- I Don’t Care If Hebrews or Shebrews, I Don’t Drink Beer, Okay?
- Jughead James
- One Petey the Parakeets
- Two Petey the Parakeet
- One Jimmy Johns
- Two Jimmy John
- Three Jimmy John
- Rude Jude
- Condomnation
#MAGACultMorons #Snark

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