My satirical rendition of Thursday night's debate

Here's how I viewed Thursday night's debate... 

 

Tapper: "President Biden, you're old."
Biden: "Is that your question?"
Tapper: "Thank you, Mr. President. President Trump, your response?"
Trump: "He's so old he's dead. The man standing right next to me is literally dead, bigly."
Tapper: "Thank you, Mr. President."
Bash: "President Trump, what is 2+2?"
Trump: "7. Period."
Bash: "Thank you, Mr. President. President Biden, your response?"
Biden: "That's a load of malarkey. 2+2 is 4. Duh. Also, I'm not dead. I'm here. I'm talking, aren't I?"
Bash: "Thank you, Mr. President. Staying with you, who is your favorite WNBA player?"
Biden: "Say what? I don't have time to watch sports. I have a job to do. I'm President of the United States of America."
Bash: "Thank you, Mr. President. President Trump, who is your favorite WNBA player?"
Trump: "The lesbian"
Bash: "Thank you, Mr. President."
Tapper: "President Trump, win or lose, will you accept the 2024 election results?"
Trump: "If I win, yes."
Tapper: "Thank you, Mr. President. President Biden..."
Biden: "Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait one minute here. Why aren't you challenging either one of us? This guy said: I was literally dead; 2+2=7; 'the lesbian' was his favorite WNBA player; and he'd only accept the 2024 election results if he won. What's wrong with you? Come on, do your jobs and challenge us."
Tapper: "Thank you, Mr. President. Staying here, what's your golf handicap?"
Biden: "My golf handicap? Who cares?!?"
Tapper: "Please answer the question, 'yes' or 'no.'"
Biden: "It wasn't a 'yes or no' question. You asked what my golf handicap was."
Tapper: "For the last time, what is your golf handicap?"
Biden: "No"
Tapper: "Thank you, Mr. President."
Trump: "That's a lie! He should have answered 'yes!'"
Biden: "It wasn't even a 'yes or no' question. I just said 'no' to get it over with. It was a stupid question."
Tapper: "Thank you, Mr. President."
Biden: "Thank me for what? It wasn't even my turn anymore!"
Tapper: "Thank you, Mr. President."
Biden: "Is that all you can say? 'Yes' or 'no?'"
Tapper: "Thank you, Mr. President."
Trump: "Can I respond?"
Tapper/Bash: "Thank you, Mr. President."
Trump: "When I get elected, I'm going to f*cking destroy you two. You won't have jobs anymore. You'll be done, in prison, for life. Do you hear me? For life!"
Tapper/Bash: "Thank you, Mr. President."
Biden: "What in the Sam Hell is going on here?"
Bash: "That's 'Sam Hill,' Mr. President. You're obviously losing it."
Tapper: "Thank you, Mr. President."
Bash: "Not now, Jake."
Tapper: "Thank you, Mr. President."
Bash: "We're suffering from some technical difficulties and will return right after this short break."
#DebateNight #Snark