A Fictional Interview with Donald Trump's Running Mate, J.D. Vance

For both electoral and comedic reasons, I'm thrilled with Donald Trump's selection of J.D. Vance as his running mate. Immediately upon hearing the announcement, I thought, "Ooh, this could be fun," so I decided to concoct a fictional interview, where I ask Vance a few questions, and he responds with actual quotes he's made about Trump. ...and action.

I'm here now with Ohio Senator and recently announced running mate for Donald Trump, J.D. Vance. Mr. Vance, if you had to describe Donald Trump in one word, what would it be?

"My god what an idiot."

Well, that's five words, but very well. You know you're talking about Donald Trump, the man you're running with, correct?

"I'm a 'Never Trump' guy. I never liked him."

So why are you running with him?

“I go back and forth between thinking Trump is a cynical a$$hole like Nixon who wouldn’t be that bad (and might even prove useful) or that he’s America’s Hitler. How’s that for discouraging?”

Quite, but you've recently praised Trump's vision for the country and even gone so far as to declare him to be one of the greatest presidents in our nation's history. Have you...

"Mr. Trump is unfit for our nation's highest office."

Wow... Hey, are you alright? You look paler than usual.

"I can't stomach Trump. I think that he's noxious and is leading the white working class to a very dark place."

Well, I hadn't planned on asking this question, but given all you've said, I feel I must. Who do you plan on voting for in this year's election?

"I think there's a chance, if I feel like Trump has a really good chance of winning, that I may have to hold my nose and vote for Hillary Clinton."

Lock her up, am I right? How's it feel running with a 34x-convicted felon?

"Moral disaster." "Reprehensible."

Fascinating. Before we go, is there anything else you'd like to say to our audience?

"I can't stand Trump because I think he's a fraud, I think he's a total fraud who is exploiting these people. I do too... I told my editor, America's problem (Trump) would be the book's gain... I agree with you on Trump, because I don't think he's the person, I don't think he actually cares about folks."

That was Donald Trump's running mate, J.D. Vance.

https://politico.com/news/2024/07/15/jd-vance-donald-trump-comments-00168450

https://meidasnews.com/news/hillbilly-eulogy-14-worst-things-jd-vance-said-about-trump

My podcast, "I Feel Snitty," is available at Amazon Music!

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Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...

Trump's Lie Tally at the CNN Debate

1) "We had the greatest economy in the history of our country. We had never done so well. Every – everybody was amazed by it. Other countries were copying us." 2) "But the thing we never got the credit for, and we should have, is getting us out of that COVID mess." 3) "The only jobs he created are for illegal immigrants and bounceback jobs; they’re bounced back from the COVID." 4) "Not going to drive them higher. It’s just going to cause countries that have been ripping us off for years, like China and many others, in all fairness to China – it’s going to just force them to pay us a lot of money, reduce our deficit tremendously, and give us a lot of power for other things." (tariffs) 5) "He also said he inherited 9 percent inflation." 6) "No, he inherited almost no inflation and it stayed that way for 14 months. And then it blew up under his leadership, because they spent money like a bunch of people that didn’t know what t...

The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

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