At a rally in Yuma, Arizona yesterday, President Donald Trump came after a 10-year-old boy holding up a sign which read, "His Hands Are Smaller Than Mine!" When I say the president came after the 4th grader, I mean this literally, as the president, who kept referring to the boy as "Chico," left the stage, approached the boy, grabbed a hold of his sign, and when failing to tear it up, threw it to the ground, stomped upon it, and then punched little Antonio Alamo in the face, knocking the pre-pubescent boy out cold. After this occurred, the president raised his arms, asked for applause from the audience, before walking back to the mic and saying, "That's what I call a TIKO, folks, big league. That's how you get it done. If you mess with me, I mess with you. It's that simple. It's that simple. You may be strong, like little Chico over there, but I'm stronger. I guarantee it."
After receiving almost universal backlash from the media, the public, fellow politicians, and being charged with multiple crimes, President Trump took a step back from his celebratory remarks and confronted the heated criticism with this:
"The biased liberal media is doing it again, attacking me like no one else could legally attack a person. They're trying to tell you that I punched a boy in the face, that I should apologize, that I should take some anger mismanagement courses or something, but that's not going to happen. I didn't punch that boy. Watch the video, folks. Watch the video. I walked up to him, extended my fist in his general direction, and his face ran into it. This happens all the time. People stick their fists out, people run into them, and then somehow the fisters get into trouble, and that's not right, and has to change right now. Does this hospitalized boy realize how difficult he's made my life over the past day? I've been called nasty things, like I've been called angry, violent, mean, and that's just not right, and Chico should apologize to me and my family immediately. If he doesn't, his face might run into my fist again. I'm just sayin'. I'm just sayin'. I'm the most peaceful, loving man in the world, and if you don't believe me, I'm going to punch you right in the face, believe me. God bless you all and God bless the United States of Russia, I mean America."
In response to this speech, little Antonio Alamo said, "Tiny hands. Tinier wee-wee."
After receiving almost universal backlash from the media, the public, fellow politicians, and being charged with multiple crimes, President Trump took a step back from his celebratory remarks and confronted the heated criticism with this:
"The biased liberal media is doing it again, attacking me like no one else could legally attack a person. They're trying to tell you that I punched a boy in the face, that I should apologize, that I should take some anger mismanagement courses or something, but that's not going to happen. I didn't punch that boy. Watch the video, folks. Watch the video. I walked up to him, extended my fist in his general direction, and his face ran into it. This happens all the time. People stick their fists out, people run into them, and then somehow the fisters get into trouble, and that's not right, and has to change right now. Does this hospitalized boy realize how difficult he's made my life over the past day? I've been called nasty things, like I've been called angry, violent, mean, and that's just not right, and Chico should apologize to me and my family immediately. If he doesn't, his face might run into my fist again. I'm just sayin'. I'm just sayin'. I'm the most peaceful, loving man in the world, and if you don't believe me, I'm going to punch you right in the face, believe me. God bless you all and God bless the United States of Russia, I mean America."
In response to this speech, little Antonio Alamo said, "Tiny hands. Tinier wee-wee."
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