The Top Ten Signs You're in the MAGA Cult
10. Whenever you get a haircut, you ask the stylist to place two dead squirrels on your head.
9. Your nickname in and outside of work is 'NDA.'
8. You step inside locker rooms, just to talk about grabbing pu$$y.
7. On your tombstone will read the epitaph, "Many people are saying..."
6. You've been fired from a daycare center for continually challenging 5-year-olds to arm-wrestle.
5. So ardently opposed to anything green, instead of watering the lawn, you sh*t on it.
4. You're less impressed by God creating the world in 6 days than you are by Trump destroying it in 2.
3. You constantly claim your mini-mushroom is the biggest.
2. Your FarmersOnly.com password is "tariff."
1. (drumroll) Instead of soap, you shower with bleach.
I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...
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