It's becoming quite clear this is how the conversation went between Trump and Netanyahu 3 weeks ago.
Netanyahu: "Greetings."
Trump: "Peace be with everyone."
Netanyahu: "Speaking of which, I want you to bomb Iran."
Trump: "I'd love to, but I'm the anti-war president."
Netanyahu: "Trust me, I'll make it worth your while."
Trump: "Like, what, more golden showers in Russia?"
Netanyahu: "Ew, no."
Trump: "Hey, don't knock it unless you've sprayed it, or tried it, or something."
Netanyahu: "If you bomb Iran..."
Trump: "I'll beat loser Biden in 2020?"
Netanyahu: "No."
Trump: "Well, I'm not gonna lie, that's disappointing."
Netanyahu: "If you bomb Iran..."
Trump: "Ivanka won't be my daughter anymore, so she can be wife #4."
Netanyahu: "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that."
Trump: "Hear what?"
Netanyahu: "Exactly. Anyway, as I was saying..."
Trump: "That I want to bang my daughter?"
Netanyahu: "Ugh! Yuck! For the last time, let me finish!"
Trump: "Are you threatening me?"
Netanyahu: "Yes, what, no, why?"
Trump: "I was just going to say, you're lucky, oh so bigly lucky, I'm the most anti-war president in the history of the United Shtathes."
Netanyahu: "If you bomb Iran, I'll nominate you for the Nobel Peace Prize."
Trump: "Done. You see, that wasn't so hard, was it? I'm the greatest deal-maker in the history of deal thingies."
Netanyahu: "Yeah, sure, I gotta go and do something, anything - wash my hair. There, that's it."
Trump: "Thank you for your attention to this matter."
I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...
Comments
Post a Comment