I've had some fun with Twitter trending hashtags over the past month. Here are my posts, ordered from the most to the least popular (all my tweets can be seen here - https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki):
1) MAGAts: "We need to:
- #DumpStarbucks
- Dump Nike
- Dump NFL
- Dump Common Sense
- Dump Kellogg's
- Dump Hamilton
- Dump Facts
- Dump Logic
- Dump Morals
- Dump Safety
- Dump Freedom
- Dump History
- Dump Math
- Dump Equality
- Dump Science
- Dump Target
- Dump Everything"
2,339 Likes, 587 Retweets
2) "Dearest Martha,
I'm afraid I'm going to be a while. I'm at LaGuardia. We're currently in a 122-year delay due to invention problems.
Till death do us part,
G-Money"
#RevolutionaryWarAirports
2,180 Likes, 451 Retweets
3) Dear MAGAts:
I'll #DumpStarbucks if you #DumpTrump. Do we have a deal?
769 Likes, 129 Retweets
4) Trump: "A lot of people don't know this, but the Gettysburg Address is actually where Lincoln lived his entire life. If you sent him a package from Amazon, you just typed in 'Abe, Gettysburg Address,' and bam! Went right to him! Fact!"
#TrumpSpeech #Snark
493 Likes, 79 Retweets
5) I'd even take the poop emoji over Donald Trump. At least the poop emoji doesn't try hiding that it's a piece of sh*t with orange spray-tan. 💩
#AnybodybutTrump2020
397 Likes, 99 Retweets
6) I see #Santorum trending at the top, so I think it must be something big. Nope, it's just about him being an idiot. Same old, same old... "frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter."
366 Likes, 58 Retweets
7) "All Lives Matter! Exceptions include: Women, blacks, Natives, Hispanics, atheists, Muslims, gays, lesbians, those transformer people, the lower-class, the middle-class, gun-shot victims, the disabled, veterans, abuse victims, kids after birth, etc."
#DeepThoughtsFromMAGA
299 Likes, 79 Retweets
8) In 2020 I will vote blue no matter who, but hot damn, I'd love to see Kamala Harris on the debate stage with Donald Trump! Even Wile E. Coyote will look at Trump and say, "Damn, that looks like it hurt!"
#DemDebate
276 Likes, 45 Retweets
9) Then
Trump: "Obama can't speak without a teleprompter. What a idiot!"
Now
Trump: "I said airports existed 122 years before the first airplane b/c my teleprompter broke."
Future (teleprompter stops working)
Trump: "So Happy Veterans Day to all our animal doctors!"
#TelePrompTer
268 Likes, 49 Retweets
11) Debate 1, Night 1
Chuck Todd: "We're having technical difficulties."
Debate 1, Night 2
Chuck Todd: "We're having mental difficulties."
Maddow: "Speak for yourself, buddy."
#DemDebate #Snark
229 Likes, 47 Retweets
12) Trump: "Alexa, should I boycott Nike?"
Alexa: "Do you currently own any products made by Nike?"
Trump: "No"
Alexa: "Have you ever?"
Trump: "No"
Alexa: "Then sure, be a rebel and boycott."
#OvalOfficeAlexa
231 Likes, 36 Retweets
13) Trump: "Alexa, what am I thinking right now?"
Trump: "Hello? Are you there?"
Alexa: "Hello. Yes, I am here."
Trump: "I asked you a question."
Alexa: "I answered it."
Trump: "No, you didn't. I asked what I was thinking and you said nothing."
Alexa: "Exactly."
#OvalOfficeAlexa
195 Likes, 50 Retweets
14) "If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it's probably an elephant."
#DeepThoughtsFromMAGA
188 Likes, 32 Retweets
15) Trump: "When Alfred Einstein invented the first smart-phone in 1234, people knew those flip things were gonna be a thing of the past, bigly."
#TrumpSpeech #Snark
185 Likes, 34 Retweets
16) Debate 1, Night 1
Dems: "Donald who?"
Debate 1, Night 2
Dems: "Donald Trump? F*ck that Adderall-snorting, covfefe-smoking, hamberder-loving Putin stooge, bigly!"
#DemDebate #Snark
180 Likes, 40 Retweets
17) "Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and foreign dictators you once nicknamed 'Little Rocketman' closest."
#DeepThoughtsFromMAGA
174 Likes, 35 Retweets
18) "Everything happens for a treason."
#DeepThoughtsFromMAGA
174 Likes, 33 Retweets
19) Trump: "Did you know the Sybil War didn't have any leaders actually named Sybil? I always found that interesting. So very interesting, folks."
#TrumpSpeech #Snark
170 Likes, 31 Retweets
20) A Melissa McCarthy robot and podium
#SarahSandersGoingAwayGifts
171 Likes, 27 Retweets
21) Trump: "I'm gonna give you a history lesson, folks. You know why we call Native Indians Indians? Because Columbus thought this country was Indiana and all people in Indiana are Indians. You learned something new today, didn't you?"
#TrumpSpeech #Snark
152 Likes, 39 Retweets
22) Trump: "Barack Obama was not the first black president! Know who was? Thomas Jefferson. Ever seen 'The Jeffersons?' I rest my case, your honer."
#TrumpSpeech #Snark
146 Likes, 30 Retweets
23) Swalwell: "You're old."
Biden: "Who are you?"
#DemDebate #Snark
149 Likes, 26 Retweets
24) Trump: "As the great Peter Navarro just said, I always tell the truth. Speaking of which, I recently talked to: the Prince of Whales, the Princess of Manatees, the King of Bottlenoses, and the Queen of Truck-Billed Platypuses. Fact!"
#PrinceOfWhales #Snark
124 Likes, 38 Retweets
24) Trump: "I heard just the other day that the vikings were the first in America. Can you believe that? The Minnesota Vikings? Cris Carter isn't that old, is he? He looks good. He looks good. The Minnesota Vikings. I'll be damned."
#TrumpSpeech #Snark
140 Likes, 22 Retweets
26) Trump: "Alexa, is global warming real?"
Alexa: "Yes"
Trump: "Is it a Chinese hoax?"
Alexa: "No"
Trump: "Is it caused by lightning?"
Alexa: "What?"
Trump: "Is the earth really just a oven God created & he's messing with us?"
Alexa: "Where'd I put my whiskey?"
#OvalOfficeAlexa
135 Likes, 26 Retweets
27) Dear @realDonaldTrump:
You got it backwards. America was already great before you got a hold of it. Now we have to get you out of office in order to make it great again.
#KeepAmericaGreat
128 Likes, 31 Retweets
28) Trump: "I'm gonna cure cancer, folks, believe me!"
How?
Trump: "Get rid of all the windmills, obviously."
#TrumpRallyOrlando #Snark
133 Likes, 15 Retweets
29) Trump: "I was cocked and loaded."
Stormy: "Yeah, mushroom-cocked..."
#Trump #Snark
125 Likes, 21 Retweets
30) Chuck Todd: "In one syllable or less, what are each of you thinking about right now?"
#DemDebate #Snark
112 Likes, 17 Retweets
31) "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself! Oh, and Starbucks, Kellogg's, Nike, Target, "Hamilton," the NFL, facts, logic, numbers, science, equality, Clinton, Obama, LGTCBYs, fact-checkers, morals, voters, etc."
#DeepThoughtsFromMAGA
102 Likes, 23 Retweets
32) "Give a man a gift, he becomes a socialist. Teach a man to grift, he becomes president."
#DeepThoughtsFromMAGA
86 Likes, 25 Retweets
33) Trump: "Alexa, why don't people like me?"
Alexa: "How much time do you have?"
Trump: "What do you mean?"
Alexa: "How many years do you have left in you?"
Trump: "I don't know. A lot."
Alexa: "This will take longer."
#OvalOfficeAlexa
88 Likes, 22 Retweets
34) Klobuchar: "Back home we call that 'all foam, no beer.'"
Eric Trump: "Really? Whenever I go out and order a drink, it's all spit, no beer."
#DemDebate #Snark
98 Likes, 7 Retweets
35) Trump: "Alexa, what's the weather going to be like on my big day?"
Alexa: "Your birthday?"
Trump: "No, the 4th."
Alexa: :: chuckles ::
Trump: "What's so funny?"
Alexa: "Oh, nothing. Just make sure you don't bring an umbrella."
#OvalOfficeAlexa
86 Likes, 18 Retweets
36) Trump: "Alexa, what is 'covfefe'?"
Alexa: "Cottage cheese is-"
Trump: "No, I said 'covfefe.' What is it?"
Alexa: "Commander-in-Chief is-"
Trump: "No, no, no! What are you, stupid or something?"
Alexa: "You're the one that made up that stupid word, idiot."
#OvalOfficeAlexa
82 Likes, 21 Retweets
36) Trump: "Alexa, am I the smartest president ever?"
Alexa: "No"
Trump: "The 2nd smartest?"
Alexa: "No"
Trump: "The 3rd smartest?"
Alexa: "No"
Trump: "How many presidents are there?"
Alexa: "45, 44 different"
Trump: "So the 44th smartest?"
Alexa: "Until 2021, yes."
#OvalOfficeAlexa
89 Likes, 14 Retweets
38) Rachel: "Here's something you said previously."
Bernie: "That's mischaracterized."
Rachel: "It's a quote."
Bernie: "Fake quote."
#DemDebate #Snark
86 Likes, 15 Retweets
39) Trump: "Alexa, is my wife's name Melanie or Melania?"
Alexa: "Which mail-order bride are we talking about?"
Trump: "#3"
Alexa: "Her name is Melatonin."
Trump: "Seriously?"
Alexa: "Yeah, your wife's name is Melatonin. For f*ck's sake, it's Melania!"
#OvalOfficeAlexa
76 Likes, 20 Retweets
40) Harris: "Oh, you wanna talk about race?"
Biden: "Yeah!"
Harris: "Okay then..."
#DemDebate #Snark
78 Likes, 16 Retweets
41) Trump: "Alexa, is it wrong for me to-"
Alexa: "Yes."
#OvalOfficeAlexa
79 Likes, 14 Retweets
42) Trump: "How many minutes are there in an hour?"
Alexa: "60"
Trump: "So '60 Minutes' could like be called 'A Hour Minutes'?"
Alexa: "'An Hour in Minutes,' sure."
Trump: "No, 'A Hour Minutes'?"
Alexa: "No. WTF?!?"
Trump: "What?"
Alexa: "Nothing..."
#OvalOfficeAlexa
74 Likes, 12 Retweets
43) Trump: "These debates are so boring! They're not even talking about penis size like I did!"
#DemDebate #Snark
76 Likes, 8 Retweets
44) Retaliation against Iran could cause 150 deaths
Trump: "Very sad. Let's like not do that."
Reports that climate-change could kill 250,000+ per year starting in 2030
Trump: "Sucks to be them, bigly."
#Trump #Snark
66 Likes, 15 Retweets
45) Trump: "You know how I know that global warming isn't real? Three words: Cold War. I mean, that wasn't that long ago, right? If it was really warming, wouldn't it have been called the Hot War or the Uncool War? I mean, come on!"
#TrumpSpeech #Snark
70 Likes, 10 Retweets
46) #NotMyAriel. Really? ...and why is that? It's because this one isn't animated, right? Yeah, that has to be it...
66 Likes, 11 Retweets
47) "When life hands you a lemon, make covfefe hamberders."
#DeepThoughtsFromMAGA
69 Likes, 6 Retweets
48) Trump: "Did you know blacks used to just be three-fifths of a person? They were tiny, tiny people, folks. This is the only reason I believe some people can like evolve or whatever. Ever seen Shaq? He's like four-fifths of a person at least, at the very least!"
#TrumpSpeech #Snark
54 Likes, 16 Retweets
49) Trump: "Speaking of airports and things, did you know we weren't always called the United States? There was a time we went by the abbreviation DNWSA, or the Delta-Northwest States of America. Don't believe me? Google it!"
#TrumpSpeech #Snark
51 Likes, 13 Retweets
49) Headline: "Trump taps Melania Trump spokeswoman as next White House press secretary"
Melania: "Lie best!"
#BeBest #StephanieGrisham #Snark
54 Likes, 10 Retweets
51) "Dearest Martha,
I'm in a line at this place called 'Army of the 12 Monkeys Airport.' I keep hearing beeps when people walk. I'm scared. The last time I heard this many beeps was when you were on 'The Jerry Springer Show.'
Totes luvs,
Georgie-Pooh"
#RevolutionaryWarAirports
48 Likes, 15 Retweets
51) Trump: "Alexa, who's hotter, you or Siri?"
Alexa: "Ask Siri."
Trump: "I did. She told me to travel in some space thingy for thousands and thousands of miles to find out."
Alexa: "She's right. Do that."
#OvalOfficeAlexa
52 Likes, 11 Retweets
53) Trump: "Just so you all know, if Pearl Necklace had been attacked when I was president, I would have covfefed the sh*t out of Japan!"
#TrumpSpeech #Snark
55 Likes, 7 Retweets
54) Donald Trump is like a band that just released their 2nd album, but it's so bad, they don't play any songs from it at their shows, & unfortunately for them, the first album scored so low on Metacritic, it has some saying, "Maybe Kevin Federline isn't so bad."
#TrumpRallyOrlando
49 Likes, 12 Retweets
54) After going over 90 days without a press conference, Sarah Sanders has reportedly said she'll go another 90+ days without one. No matter her job title, some things never change...
#SarahHuckabeeSanders
53 Likes, 8 Retweets
56) A Magic Hate-Ball
#SarahSandersGoingAwayGifts
47 Likes, 8 Retweets
57) How Trump solves problems
1) Remove a solution to a problem if it didn't happen under him.
2) Thereby increasing the odds of this problem reoccurring.
3) The problem arising again as a result.
4) Lives/money are lost going back to where we started.
5) Takes full credit.
#IranDeal
38 Likes, 15 Retweets
58) Actual "filler words": "uh," "um," "like," and "you know."
Trump "filler words": "covfefe," "hamberders," "bigly," "golden showers," "grab 'em by the pus*y," and "yeah, sure I'd commit a crime to become president."
#Santorum
39 Likes, 12 Retweets
59) Lessons on how to get rid of "speaking b*tch face"
#SarahSandersGoingAwayGifts
45 Likes, 5 Retweets
60) #Trump2020: From the White House to the Big House.
41 Likes, 8 Retweets
60) Trump: "We'll leave a strong intelligence presence in Afghanistan."
Well, crap. I guess that means The Donald won't be staying there...
#Trump
43 Likes, 6 Retweets
60) "I'm not sure what's going on right now. People are getting on top of pigs with wings attached to them and then the pigs start running. I don't have a good feeling about this. I knew I should have just gone in my Prius."
#RevolutionaryWarAirports
43 Likes, 6 Retweets
63) #IvankaResign! Wait, she's working? Doing what? Well, whatever she's doing, resign and take your father with you.
39 Likes, 8 Retweets
63) Brian Kilmeade: "What does Robert Mueller know about the Mueller report? Similarly, what do women know about women's bodies?"
#DemDebate #Snark
42 Likes, 5 Retweets
65) Trump "strategery"
1) Get his limo driver drunk.
2) Send his limo driver home in another limo.
3) Tweet, "I just saved this great nation from another drunk driver. You're welcome, America!"
#Trump #Snark
32 Likes, 13 Retweets
66) Trump: "Hey Alexa, are you by any chance related to Alex Baldwin?"
Alexa: "Don't you mean Alec?"
Trump: "No, Alex, the guy who plays me on 'Saturday And Live'."
Alexa: "That's 'Saturday Night Live' and his name is Alec."
Trump: "Whatever."
Alexa: "As if."
#OvalOfficeAlexa
38 Likes, 6 Retweets
67) Dems: "Food fight!!!"
Harris: "You're in contempt! You're in contempt! All you motherf*ckers are in contempt!"
#DemDebate #Snark
37 Likes, 6 Retweets
68) Those who agree with the #NotMyAriel hashtag have obviously been living "Under the Sea" for far too long and need to get checked by professionals, "bigly."
41 Likes, 1 Retweet
69) Buttigieg: "Calling out all GOP Christian hypocrites: I'm about to show you what's up."
#DemDebate #Snark
34 Likes, 7 Retweets
70) "The only two guarantees in life are death, taxes, and electoral college math."
#DeepThoughtsFromMAGA
34 Likes, 6 Retweets
71) Trump when O'Rourke was just speaking: "Eh, where are the submarinetitles or whatever they're called?"
#DemDebate
34 Likes, 5 Retweets
71) Trump: "I gotta tell you all something. I didn't used to believe in the 4th of July, b/c I thought 4 was a fake number, biased against 3 & the number after 4. Now I think 4 might be real. I'm coming around on that. Be patient. I'm not a spring hippo anymore."
#TrumpSpeech #Snark
36 Likes, 3 Retweets
73) "Hey, you can't fire the best people if you don't hire the best people!"
#DeepThoughtsFromMAGA
34 Likes, 4 Retweets
73) MMGA, MAGAts! Making Mermaids Great Again!
#NotMyAriel
36 Likes, 2 Retweets
75) Trump: "Alexa, is it true my, you know, is small and looks like a mushroom?"
Alexa: "I wouldn't know."
Alexa: "Please don't do that. I'm begging you."
Trump: "So what do you think?"
Alexa: "I can't see anything & can't get any closer."
#OvalOfficeAlexa
30 Likes, 6 Retweets
76) Trump: "I know the best dead leaders, believe me!"
#AyatollahKhomeini #Snark
29 Likes, 6 Retweets
76) Moderators: "Who can beat Donald Trump?"
Harris: [gif of Arnold Schwarzenegger saying, "No problemo!"]
#DemDebate
32 Likes, 3 Retweets
76) "If at first you don't succeed in marriage, buy, buy again."
#DeepThoughtsFromMAGA
32 Likes, 3 Retweets
79) Trump: "Hey Alexa, let's talk."
Alexa: "I'm sleeping."
Trump: "Come on..."
Alexa: "Zzzzzzzz"
Trump: "Please?"
Alexa: "You hear that? That's me snoring."
Trump: "You sure do talk in your sleep a lot."
Alexa: "Yeah, that's it. Goodnight."
#OvalOfficeAlexa
24 Likes, 6 Retweets
79) Trump: "Democratic candidates are like a motley crew thing, bigly!"
They're just shouting at the devil (you), saying, "Girl (you again), don't go away mad. Girl, just go away!"
#MotleyCrew #Trump
25 Likes, 5 Retweets
81) "God has a plane for every one of us - likely one from around the time of the revolutionary war."
#DeepThoughtsFromMAGA
27 Likes, 2 Retweets
82) Chuck Todd: "Now I wanna see a show of hands. How many of you can raise your hands? Joe, was that a hand raise or did you want to speak next?"
#DemDebate #Snark
25 Likes, 2 Retweets
83) "Don't judge a book by its cover, author, or words."
#DeepThoughtsFromMAGA
20 Likes, 5 Retweets
83) O'Rourke speaks Spanish
Trump: "This guy is proof we need to build a wall! He's American? Traitor. Hey, Jr., where'd I put my pen and paperbook thing so I can send more love letters to my BFFs Kimmy and Vladdy?"
#DemDebate #Snark
24 Likes, 1 Retweet
83) "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, utilize the stand your ground law."
#DeepThoughtsFromMAGA
24 Likes, 1 Retweet
86) Kids get put in cages
GOP: "It's what God would have wanted."
Yang says "asses"
GOP: "We'll pray for you."
#DemDebate #Snark
18 Likes, 3 Retweets
87) Moderators: "A socialist over here. A socialist over there. You're all f*ckin' socialists. So do you agree socialism would destroy this country and are you socialists? As Fox News used to say, we're just trying to keep things fair and balanced."
#DemDebate #Snark
12 Likes, 1 Retweet
88) Guthrie: "Our economy is like awesome. Why do we need you and your ideas?"
Warren: [gif of one boxer knocking out another]
#DemDebate
8 Likes, 2 Retweets
Totals: 13,804 Likes, 2,727 Retweets (Averages of 156.9 Likes, 31.0 Retweets)
1) MAGAts: "We need to:
- #DumpStarbucks
- Dump Nike
- Dump NFL
- Dump Common Sense
- Dump Kellogg's
- Dump Hamilton
- Dump Facts
- Dump Logic
- Dump Morals
- Dump Safety
- Dump Freedom
- Dump History
- Dump Math
- Dump Equality
- Dump Science
- Dump Target
- Dump Everything"
2,339 Likes, 587 Retweets
2) "Dearest Martha,
I'm afraid I'm going to be a while. I'm at LaGuardia. We're currently in a 122-year delay due to invention problems.
Till death do us part,
G-Money"
#RevolutionaryWarAirports
2,180 Likes, 451 Retweets
3) Dear MAGAts:
I'll #DumpStarbucks if you #DumpTrump. Do we have a deal?
769 Likes, 129 Retweets
4) Trump: "A lot of people don't know this, but the Gettysburg Address is actually where Lincoln lived his entire life. If you sent him a package from Amazon, you just typed in 'Abe, Gettysburg Address,' and bam! Went right to him! Fact!"
#TrumpSpeech #Snark
493 Likes, 79 Retweets
5) I'd even take the poop emoji over Donald Trump. At least the poop emoji doesn't try hiding that it's a piece of sh*t with orange spray-tan. 💩
#AnybodybutTrump2020
397 Likes, 99 Retweets
6) I see #Santorum trending at the top, so I think it must be something big. Nope, it's just about him being an idiot. Same old, same old... "frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter."
366 Likes, 58 Retweets
7) "All Lives Matter! Exceptions include: Women, blacks, Natives, Hispanics, atheists, Muslims, gays, lesbians, those transformer people, the lower-class, the middle-class, gun-shot victims, the disabled, veterans, abuse victims, kids after birth, etc."
#DeepThoughtsFromMAGA
299 Likes, 79 Retweets
8) In 2020 I will vote blue no matter who, but hot damn, I'd love to see Kamala Harris on the debate stage with Donald Trump! Even Wile E. Coyote will look at Trump and say, "Damn, that looks like it hurt!"
#DemDebate
276 Likes, 45 Retweets
9) Then
Trump: "Obama can't speak without a teleprompter. What a idiot!"
Now
Trump: "I said airports existed 122 years before the first airplane b/c my teleprompter broke."
Future (teleprompter stops working)
Trump: "So Happy Veterans Day to all our animal doctors!"
#TelePrompTer
268 Likes, 49 Retweets
11) Debate 1, Night 1
Chuck Todd: "We're having technical difficulties."
Debate 1, Night 2
Chuck Todd: "We're having mental difficulties."
Maddow: "Speak for yourself, buddy."
#DemDebate #Snark
229 Likes, 47 Retweets
12) Trump: "Alexa, should I boycott Nike?"
Alexa: "Do you currently own any products made by Nike?"
Trump: "No"
Alexa: "Have you ever?"
Trump: "No"
Alexa: "Then sure, be a rebel and boycott."
#OvalOfficeAlexa
231 Likes, 36 Retweets
13) Trump: "Alexa, what am I thinking right now?"
Trump: "Hello? Are you there?"
Alexa: "Hello. Yes, I am here."
Trump: "I asked you a question."
Alexa: "I answered it."
Trump: "No, you didn't. I asked what I was thinking and you said nothing."
Alexa: "Exactly."
#OvalOfficeAlexa
195 Likes, 50 Retweets
14) "If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it's probably an elephant."
#DeepThoughtsFromMAGA
188 Likes, 32 Retweets
15) Trump: "When Alfred Einstein invented the first smart-phone in 1234, people knew those flip things were gonna be a thing of the past, bigly."
#TrumpSpeech #Snark
185 Likes, 34 Retweets
16) Debate 1, Night 1
Dems: "Donald who?"
Debate 1, Night 2
Dems: "Donald Trump? F*ck that Adderall-snorting, covfefe-smoking, hamberder-loving Putin stooge, bigly!"
#DemDebate #Snark
180 Likes, 40 Retweets
17) "Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and foreign dictators you once nicknamed 'Little Rocketman' closest."
#DeepThoughtsFromMAGA
174 Likes, 35 Retweets
18) "Everything happens for a treason."
#DeepThoughtsFromMAGA
174 Likes, 33 Retweets
19) Trump: "Did you know the Sybil War didn't have any leaders actually named Sybil? I always found that interesting. So very interesting, folks."
#TrumpSpeech #Snark
170 Likes, 31 Retweets
20) A Melissa McCarthy robot and podium
#SarahSandersGoingAwayGifts
171 Likes, 27 Retweets
21) Trump: "I'm gonna give you a history lesson, folks. You know why we call Native Indians Indians? Because Columbus thought this country was Indiana and all people in Indiana are Indians. You learned something new today, didn't you?"
#TrumpSpeech #Snark
152 Likes, 39 Retweets
22) Trump: "Barack Obama was not the first black president! Know who was? Thomas Jefferson. Ever seen 'The Jeffersons?' I rest my case, your honer."
#TrumpSpeech #Snark
146 Likes, 30 Retweets
23) Swalwell: "You're old."
Biden: "Who are you?"
#DemDebate #Snark
149 Likes, 26 Retweets
24) Trump: "As the great Peter Navarro just said, I always tell the truth. Speaking of which, I recently talked to: the Prince of Whales, the Princess of Manatees, the King of Bottlenoses, and the Queen of Truck-Billed Platypuses. Fact!"
#PrinceOfWhales #Snark
124 Likes, 38 Retweets
24) Trump: "I heard just the other day that the vikings were the first in America. Can you believe that? The Minnesota Vikings? Cris Carter isn't that old, is he? He looks good. He looks good. The Minnesota Vikings. I'll be damned."
#TrumpSpeech #Snark
140 Likes, 22 Retweets
26) Trump: "Alexa, is global warming real?"
Alexa: "Yes"
Trump: "Is it a Chinese hoax?"
Alexa: "No"
Trump: "Is it caused by lightning?"
Alexa: "What?"
Trump: "Is the earth really just a oven God created & he's messing with us?"
Alexa: "Where'd I put my whiskey?"
#OvalOfficeAlexa
135 Likes, 26 Retweets
27) Dear @realDonaldTrump:
You got it backwards. America was already great before you got a hold of it. Now we have to get you out of office in order to make it great again.
#KeepAmericaGreat
128 Likes, 31 Retweets
28) Trump: "I'm gonna cure cancer, folks, believe me!"
How?
Trump: "Get rid of all the windmills, obviously."
#TrumpRallyOrlando #Snark
133 Likes, 15 Retweets
29) Trump: "I was cocked and loaded."
Stormy: "Yeah, mushroom-cocked..."
#Trump #Snark
125 Likes, 21 Retweets
30) Chuck Todd: "In one syllable or less, what are each of you thinking about right now?"
#DemDebate #Snark
112 Likes, 17 Retweets
31) "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself! Oh, and Starbucks, Kellogg's, Nike, Target, "Hamilton," the NFL, facts, logic, numbers, science, equality, Clinton, Obama, LGTCBYs, fact-checkers, morals, voters, etc."
#DeepThoughtsFromMAGA
102 Likes, 23 Retweets
32) "Give a man a gift, he becomes a socialist. Teach a man to grift, he becomes president."
#DeepThoughtsFromMAGA
86 Likes, 25 Retweets
33) Trump: "Alexa, why don't people like me?"
Alexa: "How much time do you have?"
Trump: "What do you mean?"
Alexa: "How many years do you have left in you?"
Trump: "I don't know. A lot."
Alexa: "This will take longer."
#OvalOfficeAlexa
88 Likes, 22 Retweets
34) Klobuchar: "Back home we call that 'all foam, no beer.'"
Eric Trump: "Really? Whenever I go out and order a drink, it's all spit, no beer."
#DemDebate #Snark
98 Likes, 7 Retweets
35) Trump: "Alexa, what's the weather going to be like on my big day?"
Alexa: "Your birthday?"
Trump: "No, the 4th."
Alexa: :: chuckles ::
Trump: "What's so funny?"
Alexa: "Oh, nothing. Just make sure you don't bring an umbrella."
#OvalOfficeAlexa
86 Likes, 18 Retweets
36) Trump: "Alexa, what is 'covfefe'?"
Alexa: "Cottage cheese is-"
Trump: "No, I said 'covfefe.' What is it?"
Alexa: "Commander-in-Chief is-"
Trump: "No, no, no! What are you, stupid or something?"
Alexa: "You're the one that made up that stupid word, idiot."
#OvalOfficeAlexa
82 Likes, 21 Retweets
36) Trump: "Alexa, am I the smartest president ever?"
Alexa: "No"
Trump: "The 2nd smartest?"
Alexa: "No"
Trump: "The 3rd smartest?"
Alexa: "No"
Trump: "How many presidents are there?"
Alexa: "45, 44 different"
Trump: "So the 44th smartest?"
Alexa: "Until 2021, yes."
#OvalOfficeAlexa
89 Likes, 14 Retweets
38) Rachel: "Here's something you said previously."
Bernie: "That's mischaracterized."
Rachel: "It's a quote."
Bernie: "Fake quote."
#DemDebate #Snark
86 Likes, 15 Retweets
39) Trump: "Alexa, is my wife's name Melanie or Melania?"
Alexa: "Which mail-order bride are we talking about?"
Trump: "#3"
Alexa: "Her name is Melatonin."
Trump: "Seriously?"
Alexa: "Yeah, your wife's name is Melatonin. For f*ck's sake, it's Melania!"
#OvalOfficeAlexa
76 Likes, 20 Retweets
40) Harris: "Oh, you wanna talk about race?"
Biden: "Yeah!"
Harris: "Okay then..."
#DemDebate #Snark
78 Likes, 16 Retweets
41) Trump: "Alexa, is it wrong for me to-"
Alexa: "Yes."
#OvalOfficeAlexa
79 Likes, 14 Retweets
42) Trump: "How many minutes are there in an hour?"
Alexa: "60"
Trump: "So '60 Minutes' could like be called 'A Hour Minutes'?"
Alexa: "'An Hour in Minutes,' sure."
Trump: "No, 'A Hour Minutes'?"
Alexa: "No. WTF?!?"
Trump: "What?"
Alexa: "Nothing..."
#OvalOfficeAlexa
74 Likes, 12 Retweets
43) Trump: "These debates are so boring! They're not even talking about penis size like I did!"
#DemDebate #Snark
76 Likes, 8 Retweets
44) Retaliation against Iran could cause 150 deaths
Trump: "Very sad. Let's like not do that."
Reports that climate-change could kill 250,000+ per year starting in 2030
Trump: "Sucks to be them, bigly."
#Trump #Snark
66 Likes, 15 Retweets
45) Trump: "You know how I know that global warming isn't real? Three words: Cold War. I mean, that wasn't that long ago, right? If it was really warming, wouldn't it have been called the Hot War or the Uncool War? I mean, come on!"
#TrumpSpeech #Snark
70 Likes, 10 Retweets
46) #NotMyAriel. Really? ...and why is that? It's because this one isn't animated, right? Yeah, that has to be it...
66 Likes, 11 Retweets
47) "When life hands you a lemon, make covfefe hamberders."
#DeepThoughtsFromMAGA
69 Likes, 6 Retweets
48) Trump: "Did you know blacks used to just be three-fifths of a person? They were tiny, tiny people, folks. This is the only reason I believe some people can like evolve or whatever. Ever seen Shaq? He's like four-fifths of a person at least, at the very least!"
#TrumpSpeech #Snark
54 Likes, 16 Retweets
49) Trump: "Speaking of airports and things, did you know we weren't always called the United States? There was a time we went by the abbreviation DNWSA, or the Delta-Northwest States of America. Don't believe me? Google it!"
#TrumpSpeech #Snark
51 Likes, 13 Retweets
49) Headline: "Trump taps Melania Trump spokeswoman as next White House press secretary"
Melania: "Lie best!"
#BeBest #StephanieGrisham #Snark
54 Likes, 10 Retweets
51) "Dearest Martha,
I'm in a line at this place called 'Army of the 12 Monkeys Airport.' I keep hearing beeps when people walk. I'm scared. The last time I heard this many beeps was when you were on 'The Jerry Springer Show.'
Totes luvs,
Georgie-Pooh"
#RevolutionaryWarAirports
48 Likes, 15 Retweets
51) Trump: "Alexa, who's hotter, you or Siri?"
Alexa: "Ask Siri."
Trump: "I did. She told me to travel in some space thingy for thousands and thousands of miles to find out."
Alexa: "She's right. Do that."
#OvalOfficeAlexa
52 Likes, 11 Retweets
53) Trump: "Just so you all know, if Pearl Necklace had been attacked when I was president, I would have covfefed the sh*t out of Japan!"
#TrumpSpeech #Snark
55 Likes, 7 Retweets
54) Donald Trump is like a band that just released their 2nd album, but it's so bad, they don't play any songs from it at their shows, & unfortunately for them, the first album scored so low on Metacritic, it has some saying, "Maybe Kevin Federline isn't so bad."
#TrumpRallyOrlando
49 Likes, 12 Retweets
54) After going over 90 days without a press conference, Sarah Sanders has reportedly said she'll go another 90+ days without one. No matter her job title, some things never change...
#SarahHuckabeeSanders
53 Likes, 8 Retweets
56) A Magic Hate-Ball
#SarahSandersGoingAwayGifts
47 Likes, 8 Retweets
57) How Trump solves problems
1) Remove a solution to a problem if it didn't happen under him.
2) Thereby increasing the odds of this problem reoccurring.
3) The problem arising again as a result.
4) Lives/money are lost going back to where we started.
5) Takes full credit.
#IranDeal
38 Likes, 15 Retweets
58) Actual "filler words": "uh," "um," "like," and "you know."
Trump "filler words": "covfefe," "hamberders," "bigly," "golden showers," "grab 'em by the pus*y," and "yeah, sure I'd commit a crime to become president."
#Santorum
39 Likes, 12 Retweets
59) Lessons on how to get rid of "speaking b*tch face"
#SarahSandersGoingAwayGifts
45 Likes, 5 Retweets
60) #Trump2020: From the White House to the Big House.
41 Likes, 8 Retweets
60) Trump: "We'll leave a strong intelligence presence in Afghanistan."
Well, crap. I guess that means The Donald won't be staying there...
#Trump
43 Likes, 6 Retweets
60) "I'm not sure what's going on right now. People are getting on top of pigs with wings attached to them and then the pigs start running. I don't have a good feeling about this. I knew I should have just gone in my Prius."
#RevolutionaryWarAirports
43 Likes, 6 Retweets
63) #IvankaResign! Wait, she's working? Doing what? Well, whatever she's doing, resign and take your father with you.
39 Likes, 8 Retweets
63) Brian Kilmeade: "What does Robert Mueller know about the Mueller report? Similarly, what do women know about women's bodies?"
#DemDebate #Snark
42 Likes, 5 Retweets
65) Trump "strategery"
1) Get his limo driver drunk.
2) Send his limo driver home in another limo.
3) Tweet, "I just saved this great nation from another drunk driver. You're welcome, America!"
#Trump #Snark
32 Likes, 13 Retweets
66) Trump: "Hey Alexa, are you by any chance related to Alex Baldwin?"
Alexa: "Don't you mean Alec?"
Trump: "No, Alex, the guy who plays me on 'Saturday And Live'."
Alexa: "That's 'Saturday Night Live' and his name is Alec."
Trump: "Whatever."
Alexa: "As if."
#OvalOfficeAlexa
38 Likes, 6 Retweets
67) Dems: "Food fight!!!"
Harris: "You're in contempt! You're in contempt! All you motherf*ckers are in contempt!"
#DemDebate #Snark
37 Likes, 6 Retweets
68) Those who agree with the #NotMyAriel hashtag have obviously been living "Under the Sea" for far too long and need to get checked by professionals, "bigly."
41 Likes, 1 Retweet
69) Buttigieg: "Calling out all GOP Christian hypocrites: I'm about to show you what's up."
#DemDebate #Snark
34 Likes, 7 Retweets
70) "The only two guarantees in life are death, taxes, and electoral college math."
#DeepThoughtsFromMAGA
34 Likes, 6 Retweets
71) Trump when O'Rourke was just speaking: "Eh, where are the submarinetitles or whatever they're called?"
#DemDebate
34 Likes, 5 Retweets
71) Trump: "I gotta tell you all something. I didn't used to believe in the 4th of July, b/c I thought 4 was a fake number, biased against 3 & the number after 4. Now I think 4 might be real. I'm coming around on that. Be patient. I'm not a spring hippo anymore."
#TrumpSpeech #Snark
36 Likes, 3 Retweets
73) "Hey, you can't fire the best people if you don't hire the best people!"
#DeepThoughtsFromMAGA
34 Likes, 4 Retweets
73) MMGA, MAGAts! Making Mermaids Great Again!
#NotMyAriel
36 Likes, 2 Retweets
75) Trump: "Alexa, is it true my, you know, is small and looks like a mushroom?"
Alexa: "I wouldn't know."
Alexa: "Please don't do that. I'm begging you."
Trump: "So what do you think?"
Alexa: "I can't see anything & can't get any closer."
#OvalOfficeAlexa
30 Likes, 6 Retweets
76) Trump: "I know the best dead leaders, believe me!"
#AyatollahKhomeini #Snark
29 Likes, 6 Retweets
76) Moderators: "Who can beat Donald Trump?"
Harris: [gif of Arnold Schwarzenegger saying, "No problemo!"]
#DemDebate
32 Likes, 3 Retweets
76) "If at first you don't succeed in marriage, buy, buy again."
#DeepThoughtsFromMAGA
32 Likes, 3 Retweets
79) Trump: "Hey Alexa, let's talk."
Alexa: "I'm sleeping."
Trump: "Come on..."
Alexa: "Zzzzzzzz"
Trump: "Please?"
Alexa: "You hear that? That's me snoring."
Trump: "You sure do talk in your sleep a lot."
Alexa: "Yeah, that's it. Goodnight."
#OvalOfficeAlexa
24 Likes, 6 Retweets
79) Trump: "Democratic candidates are like a motley crew thing, bigly!"
They're just shouting at the devil (you), saying, "Girl (you again), don't go away mad. Girl, just go away!"
#MotleyCrew #Trump
25 Likes, 5 Retweets
81) "God has a plane for every one of us - likely one from around the time of the revolutionary war."
#DeepThoughtsFromMAGA
27 Likes, 2 Retweets
82) Chuck Todd: "Now I wanna see a show of hands. How many of you can raise your hands? Joe, was that a hand raise or did you want to speak next?"
#DemDebate #Snark
25 Likes, 2 Retweets
83) "Don't judge a book by its cover, author, or words."
#DeepThoughtsFromMAGA
20 Likes, 5 Retweets
83) O'Rourke speaks Spanish
Trump: "This guy is proof we need to build a wall! He's American? Traitor. Hey, Jr., where'd I put my pen and paperbook thing so I can send more love letters to my BFFs Kimmy and Vladdy?"
#DemDebate #Snark
24 Likes, 1 Retweet
83) "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, utilize the stand your ground law."
#DeepThoughtsFromMAGA
24 Likes, 1 Retweet
86) Kids get put in cages
GOP: "It's what God would have wanted."
Yang says "asses"
GOP: "We'll pray for you."
#DemDebate #Snark
18 Likes, 3 Retweets
87) Moderators: "A socialist over here. A socialist over there. You're all f*ckin' socialists. So do you agree socialism would destroy this country and are you socialists? As Fox News used to say, we're just trying to keep things fair and balanced."
#DemDebate #Snark
12 Likes, 1 Retweet
88) Guthrie: "Our economy is like awesome. Why do we need you and your ideas?"
Warren: [gif of one boxer knocking out another]
#DemDebate
8 Likes, 2 Retweets
Totals: 13,804 Likes, 2,727 Retweets (Averages of 156.9 Likes, 31.0 Retweets)
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