Podcast: "I Feel Snitty," Episode 165: "'Mikey's On Crack' (parody based on the Sir Mix-A-Lot song, 'Baby Got Back')" is now available!

The latest episode of my podcast ("I Feel Snitty"), entitled, "'Mikey's On Crack' (parody based on the Sir Mix-A-Lot song, 'Baby Got Back')," is now available!

Here are the lyrics:

"Mikey's On Crack" (to the tune of Sir Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Got Back")

OMG, Karen, look at his eyes

They are like so dilated

The pupils are like so round

They’re like those big, bouncy things - basketballs

I can’t look at him, ‘cause I’m scared

Like more scared than I was when I watched “Gremlins”

I mean, his eye things are so big

And not to be racist, but they’re like really black too

Like thick mol(e)-asses

He’s just so whacked

 

He smokes the rock and he always lies

His pillow, he hides it inside

When he goes to bed at night, he pulls it out and then

Tries to light up, but misses

His wig now on fire, he freaks out

‘Cause he thinks a rat’s in the house

He tells it to go away

‘Stead of pouring water its way

He starts throwing his pillows at it

And then screams, “Oh, sh*t!”

Thought rocks were still in the case

Even though they were in front of his face

So, what’s he do now?

Call Blue Lives Matter peeps for aid? Naw

He goes and lights up

Using his rat-hairpiece for help

It’s all good again

As things burn around him

He smiles, dials

An ex-dealer he calls “Luscious Lyle”

Lyle says, “Intervention”

Mikey says, “Insurrection?”

Lyle hangs up, because he don’t give a f*ck

Unpauses “Uncle Buck”

So, Mikey (What?), Mikey (What?)

Has your hairpiece disappeared? (Say what?)

Reach up and feel it (Feel what?), feel it (Feel what?)

Feel the balding head

 

Mikey’s on crack

Mikey’s on crack

 

He smokes ‘em high, and low

For when he hears some noises

He just can’t help himself; he hides beside a small table

Yells, “Going to jail!”

He curls into a ball

Repeats, “FREEDOM FOR ALL!”

Sirens blare in the distance

Or is that the air conditioning?

Mikey sure as hell doesn’t know

He’s in never-never land

Curing every cancer

With some kind of deadly ass poison

Seeing things that have never been there

Bears, and Trump winning Delaware

Well, he’s scared of da bears

So, he started saying a prayer

“Father, please save me, but more importantly, help Trump win”

“I can see that he did”

“I also see, what’s that? Triceratops-Unicorn?”

“Oh, yes! Thank you, lord!”

“That must be a sign! 4 more!”

“Why else would I hear that beast roar?”

Mikey said amen, then called “Fox & Friends”

For Kilmeade would want to know

‘Cause he’s dumb, really dumb

Dumber than a comatose tree stump

So, Mikey (Huh?), Mikey (Huh?)

Are you ready to sound really douchey? (Huh?)

Then open up, let them flap

Even Doocy’s gonna laugh

 

Mikey’s on crack

Mikey’s on crack

 

Yeah, Mikey, when it comes to crackheads

There really ain’t no competition, because, you see

Most crackheads don’t buy Trumpism

No matter how cheap you sellin’ it

 

His dealer becomes a dentist, leaving him to look on Craigslist

But Craigslist don’t have no searches for former crackhead dentists

His flapping lips need some cheap rock

Like “doodle-doo” needs cock

He’ll leap over hurdles and facts

He’ll even wear a mask

Just kidding; that was going too far

For a dumbass, crackhead traitor

Who always gets an itch

To be a giant Cheeto’s little b*tch

So, yeah, withdrawals suck

Less than MyPillow’s fluff

‘Cause they’re harder than rocks and are more useless

Than blind drunks standing to piss

To the friends and family of this loon

Whether real or no

Take his nasty ass out to get tests done

Some we know he won’t pass – not one

Don’t let him take them too fast

You don’t want him to hurry back

He may be fam, but you don’t know him

That’s what you tell all who ask ‘bout him

Loony bins, if you listenin’

Be forewarned about his presence

And don’t let him bring in no pillows

‘Cause he uses them to smoke

 

Mikey’s on crack

Mikey’s on crack

 

Mikey looks all whacked ‘cause he’s high on crack

Mikey looks all whacked ‘cause he’s high on crack

Mikey looks all whacked ‘cause he’s high on crack

Mikey looks all whacked ‘cause he’s high on crack

 

The song can be heard here: https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/mikeys-on-crack-parody-based-on-the-sir-mix-a-lot-song-baby-got-back/