Skip to main content

What I learned in Week 2 of the NFL season

In Week 2 of the NFL season, I learned that...

- ...Zach Wilson throws picks like Rob Gronkowski throws parties - all the time; everyone is invited; and someone resembling Frank the Tank is bound to make his presence felt.

- ..., when his coaching days are through, Zac Taylor will become a magician, for he's the only one who could have made Cincinnati Bengals fans long for the days of Marvin Lewis.

- ...Derek Carr is only 2-0 because Jesus f*cking loves Las Vegas.

- ...given what he was caught saying on a hot mic, it seems all but certain Jon Gruden ate bar soap for breakfast as a kid.

- ...we witnessed a breakthrough in modern-medicine on Monday night, for it was proven the best way to cure apathetic quarterbacks is to face the Detroit Lions.

- ...it's only a matter of time before Russell Wilson does the "Thriller" dance in an opponent's end zone, for he's already moonwalking into his own.

- ...Sean Payton is so conservative with Jameis Winston, Rand Paul called to become his offensive coordinator, and Payton responded, "Sorry, Senator Chia-Pet, but you're liberal AF."

- ...there may still be a way to get anti-vaxxer Carson Wentz to get the jab - simply tell him said vaccinations prevent men from being more fragile than "A Christmas Story" leg-lamps.

- ..., if the Jacksonville Jaguars #1 draft pick were to not cut his hair until his team won a game, he'd go on to be known as Trevor Rapunzel.

- ..., in light of the new taunting rule, the only way to again create balance in the world will be to allow professional golfers to throw clubs at and drive carts into competition during their shots.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...

Face guarding is legal in college football and the NFL

I just wanted to remind fans and announcers especially, that face guarding is legal in both college football and the NFL. It all comes down to contact. So long as a defender doesn't make contact with an intended receiver, he doesn't have to turn around to play the ball. I can't tell you how many times every week I hear announcers talk about face guarding being a penalty. It's not. I even heard one announcer yesterday state, "If the defender doesn't turn around and play the ball, the ref will call pass interference every time." That's simply not true. Courtesy of referee Bill LeMonnier, he says this with regard to the rule at the college level (answered on 8/12/13): "NCAA rules on pass interference require the face guarding to have contact to be a foul. No contact, no foul by NCAA rules." In the NFL rule book, this is written:  "Actions that constitute defensive pass interference include but are not limited to: (a) Contact by a ...