I just saw the new film "Ted" last Sunday and while I found the movie to be utterly hilarious and wouldn't mind seeing it again sometime, I found it to be interesting on a personal level, for as I soon came to discover, I am like someone's "Ted".
She and I have been friends for 10 or so years now and while we've gone through some rocky times and have had some rather large gaps between communications, we've found a way to pick up right where we left off whenever we do communicate and maintain a decent friendship.
The problem for us has always been that she's always wanted something more than the friendship and it's never happened. Either I was involved in a relationship at the outset (with my girlfriend of 2 years) or she was married (for a few years) or engaged (for a year or two) or I moved a ways away, which would complicate matters quite a bit, especially with her having a kid. So things just have never developed into anything greater than a friendship.
Like I said earlier, we've gone quite a long time without communicating in any manner, yet it seems that when we do, we pick up right where we left off. The problem often times in this scenario is that when this happens, she claims to get feelings for me again and then wants to evolve things a bit further. When I decline, the balance of the relationships gets all out of whack and can be difficult to stabilize again for a little while.
I think I've figured out what the true matter at hand is. I notice that most times when this happens, it directly follows a bad break-up or being single for a while. I'm beginning to think that I'm like her "Ted". I'm that guy who has always been a good friend to her, been there to listen, been comfortable and familiar and someone she finds attractive. I'm like that teddy bear to her and whenever things don't go her way, I have been able to find a way to make her laugh and smile. So when a relationship of her's ends badly, she reaches back for that comfort that's always been there - me. When she feels all alone and bummed, she looks back toward the guy who's made her feel good about herself - me. She claims to have always loved/been in love with me, but I'm not thinking this is the case. I think she loves me, but has never really been in love with me. I just think I may very well be her security blanket, her stuffed animal, her "Ted".
Regardless if she truly sees me that way or not, I really hope this cycle comes to a halt. Unfortunately, I'm thinking the only way that could happen is if A) I did indeed give things a chance with her or B) She found someone else who truly made her happy. I'm really hoping that B) happens and sooner rather than later, because I honestly don't know how much longer I'll be able to handle being a person's "Ted".
She and I have been friends for 10 or so years now and while we've gone through some rocky times and have had some rather large gaps between communications, we've found a way to pick up right where we left off whenever we do communicate and maintain a decent friendship.
The problem for us has always been that she's always wanted something more than the friendship and it's never happened. Either I was involved in a relationship at the outset (with my girlfriend of 2 years) or she was married (for a few years) or engaged (for a year or two) or I moved a ways away, which would complicate matters quite a bit, especially with her having a kid. So things just have never developed into anything greater than a friendship.
Like I said earlier, we've gone quite a long time without communicating in any manner, yet it seems that when we do, we pick up right where we left off. The problem often times in this scenario is that when this happens, she claims to get feelings for me again and then wants to evolve things a bit further. When I decline, the balance of the relationships gets all out of whack and can be difficult to stabilize again for a little while.
I think I've figured out what the true matter at hand is. I notice that most times when this happens, it directly follows a bad break-up or being single for a while. I'm beginning to think that I'm like her "Ted". I'm that guy who has always been a good friend to her, been there to listen, been comfortable and familiar and someone she finds attractive. I'm like that teddy bear to her and whenever things don't go her way, I have been able to find a way to make her laugh and smile. So when a relationship of her's ends badly, she reaches back for that comfort that's always been there - me. When she feels all alone and bummed, she looks back toward the guy who's made her feel good about herself - me. She claims to have always loved/been in love with me, but I'm not thinking this is the case. I think she loves me, but has never really been in love with me. I just think I may very well be her security blanket, her stuffed animal, her "Ted".
Regardless if she truly sees me that way or not, I really hope this cycle comes to a halt. Unfortunately, I'm thinking the only way that could happen is if A) I did indeed give things a chance with her or B) She found someone else who truly made her happy. I'm really hoping that B) happens and sooner rather than later, because I honestly don't know how much longer I'll be able to handle being a person's "Ted".
Comments
Post a Comment