A little over two months ago, I found myself addicted to a Twitter hashtag on a Saturday afternoon, which was entitled, #ThingsJesusNeverSaid. As former ESPN SportsCenter anchor Stuart Scott used to say, I was like butter, because I was on a roll. When all was said and done, I think I came up with between 40 and 50 tweets regarding that hashtag until I finally decided to get off my lazy bum and head out for a bit. One of my tweets received so many favorites and retweets, it was regarded as one of Fusion.net's Tweets of the Week.
Well, that very hashtag made its presence known yet again on Twitter over the past 36 hours, and while it didn't trend as long as it had previously (yeah, it went from Monday to Tuesday as opposed to Saturday to Monday last time) and I didn't garner as much traction on my 13 tweets, I had fun and thought I'd share them:
1) "I died for every one of you, except for the homos. Sure, I can forgive murderers, but Lance Bass is just too weird."
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid (19 retweets, 27 favorites)
2) "Corporations are people, my friends."
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid (21 retweets, 13 favorites)
3) "Nothing tickles my fancy more than televangelists using my name to get rich."
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid (11 retweets, 15 favorites)
4) "I'm white, was born in America, and love nothing more than going to the shooting range at least once a week!"
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid (7 retweets, 10 favorites)
5) "Mike Huckabee and Rick Santorum are definitely 100% heterosexual."
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid (3 retweets, 10 favorites)
6) "Rush Limbaugh proves that marriage should be between one man & one woman, well, four times!"
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid (9 retweets, 3 favorites)
7) "If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn the other one to him also, before busting out your semi-automatic!"
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid (1 retweet, 5 favorites)
8) "I absolutely love Trump's ideas on deportation, even though I'd technically be a foreigner in the U.S.!"
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid (2 retweets, 3 favorites)
8) "You can call me JC for short, which stands for Justifying Capitalism."
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid (2 retweets, 3 favorites)
10) "Rand Paul is right! If you're poor, you're lazy & you suck! Now where did I put my robe & sandals?"
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid (0 retweets, 4 favorites)
11) "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her. Just kidding, ya'll; I'll do it!"
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid (0 retweets, 3 favorites)
11) "Trump 2016!"
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid (1 retweet, 2 favorites)
13) "The 11th Commandment actually is, 'Thou shalt always talk about me and misuse my name during GOP debates'."
#ThingsJesusNeverSaid (0 retweets, 2 favorites)
76 retweets, 100 favorites
https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki
Comments
Post a Comment