The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

British rock trio Muse just released their 9th studio album, entitled Will of the People . Now, I've gotta start this review by admitting to all my readers I'm a die-hard Muse fan. They are, without question, my favorite band - have been for roughly 14-15 years. Having said that, while I've enjoyed their past three albums (2012's The 2nd Law , 2015's Drones , and 2018's Simulation Theory ), I've also felt they were three of the band's four weakest releases to this point (their 1999 debut Showbiz being the other). The 2nd Law felt like the band's most experimental record, where they marked all the genres they wanted to try off their bucket list. Not only did they dabble in dub-step, but bassist Chris Wolstenholme wrote and sang two songs. On a 12-song album, singer Matt Bellamy was the lead vocalist on only eight of them. While I'm all about Muse experimenting, and loved the variety, it felt a little more mixed on the execution than I would have...

I've been reading comments on Discord and Twitter which contend the new song "You Make Me Feel Like It's Halloween" is about domestic violence during the pandemic. There are even some on the latter site which have reportedly "dropped Muse" due to the upbeat nature of the song coinciding with said alleged theme of it. However, the only comment I can find potentially confirming that the song's inspiration was in fact domestic violence during the pandemic was courtesy of Mark Beaumont in an NME article he wrote about the band/album. Did any of the band members confirm this as well? Reading over the lyrics, while I can see why Mr. Beaumont interpreted them to be about domestic violence, I'm getting the feeling it's not as clear cut as that. To me it almost comes across like a satire about COVID-conspiracists, spoken/sung from the vantage point of one such individual. He or she is paranoid, not so much about the pandemic, but about gove...

I received these comments on my recent blog, entitled "Reviewing the Reviewers": - "Omg you’re unstoppable 😂 This could actually pass for an actual review, considering how…Lazy they are. You have a spark of genius" - "This made my day. Absolutely spot on hilarious. So many dun duns it could almost pass for an episode of Law & Order" - "Amazing😂😂😂" - "Ha ha... this is made me roflcopter so hard I took off" - "This reads like A Clockwork Orange lmao" - "I feel like I've heard it now." - "You wrote this in a way that you might as well be playing the actual songs to me. Your use of descriptive words is excellent and I look forward to your future review of 'Kid B.'" - "To be honest it is so refreshing to read humorous and smart stuff like what you do. It’s woefully rare nowadays to read true humorous stuff." - "I wish I could upvote more than once, because holy shit this was hi...

As of this writing, there have been five released reviews of Will of the People , and while the scores have been solid (an average of 8/10), the reviews themselves have come across as lazier than a hungover teenager attempting to replicate a comatose sloth in slow-motion. Vague, even contradictory song descriptions; typos galore (Linkin Pak, anyone – not from Boston?); band stereotypes – Matt, in particular; incorrect release dates; etc. – one has to wonder how much they’re getting paid to write this crap. If you’ve refused to subject yourself to the critics’ useless, yet somehow abbreviated blather, first off, congratulations – you’re likely better informed on the coming album than those of us who’ve read the aforementioned drivel; and secondly, I thought I’d provide you my attempt at a satirized rendition of the awful reviews. Muse’s “Well of the People” Review As the album’s title should suggest, the people of the band known as Muse are well and good. “Well of the Peop...

Okay, so funny story... My all-time favorite band, Muse, is set to release their 9th studio album a week from Friday, entitled, Will of the People . As has been the case ever since I first heard the band in 2008, I feel like a kid a week before Christmas. Unlike when I was a child, though, I now have the ability to celebrate, or perhaps commiserate with fellow fans of the band (Musers), as we all anxiously await the coming album. For whatever reason, I decided to venture into new social-media avenues this album cycle. In previous such cycles, I simply took to Facebook, Twitter, and the band's homepage. This go-round, I decided to give Reddit and Discord a chance. It's been an interesting experience, to say the least. As ardent readers of mine should know, I've long held a strong love/hate relationship with social-media. I was one of the last people in my circle to switch from MySpace to Facebook, and I'm only on the latter anymore to better keep in touch with out-of-sta...

I just received this comment on my blog, entitled, "Musers Discuss Their Favorite Muse Songs": - "I did read it, and it made me laugh!! It was well written, not sure why the folks of Reddit didn't appreciate it as they should. Then again, those are the same f*ckers who voted out Endlessly. lol." The blog can be read here: https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/2022/08/musers-discuss-their-favorite-muse-songs.html

The world’s most famous satirical-news site, The Onion , has a regular feature called “slideshow” – where they tackle a topical issue by placing fictionalized, often times hilarious quotes attached to celebrities regarding said matter. In case you have no idea what I’m talking about, here’s just one example. - https://www.theonion.com/ceos-explain-how-they-will-protect-abortion-rights-1849134877   For whatever reason, I decided to concoct such a slideshow (void of any pictures, sorry), which pertains to Muse.   Musers Discuss Their Favorite Muse Songs “Execution Commentary” - “I play it all day, every day at work, so how could I not love it?” – a mortician   “Piano Thing” - “I mean, it’s what I do; it’s what I teach; it’s what I know. Not to get technical, but that’s what I call all those doodad thingamajigs that make noise on it.” – a con-man posing as a pianist   “Jimmy Kane” - “So, I once knew a guy who knew a guy who knew another guy who...