As of this writing, there have been five released reviews of Will of the People, and while the scores have been solid (an average of 8/10), the reviews themselves have come across as lazier than a hungover teenager attempting to replicate a comatose sloth in slow-motion. Vague, even contradictory song descriptions; typos galore (Linkin Pak, anyone – not from Boston?); band stereotypes – Matt, in particular; incorrect release dates; etc. – one has to wonder how much they’re getting paid to write this crap.
If you’ve refused to subject yourself to the critics’ useless, yet somehow abbreviated blather, first off, congratulations – you’re likely better informed on the coming album than those of us who’ve read the aforementioned drivel; and secondly, I thought I’d provide you my attempt at a satirized rendition of the awful reviews.
Muse’s “Well of the People” Review
As the album’s title should suggest, the people of the band known as Muse are well and good. “Well of the People” – the band’s umpteenth album, is comprised of ten songs – all of which possess sounds.
The first song is the title track, and comes across like a Radiohead guitar which goes dun-dun dun-dun-dun dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. Next is “Compliance,” where there aren’t as many “dun-dun-duns,” due to a lack of guitar, but there are other noises, which help carry the song along quite nicely. “Liberation” is the Queeniest Queen track unreleased by Queen. From the first note, you go, “Whoa! Queen!,” and that chant continues until the final whatever. “Won’t Stand Down” goes back to the “dun-duns,” only louder. Seriously, both at the halfway and end points, the “dun-duns” become DUN-DUNS! Things slow down on the next track, titled “Ghosts (How Can I Move On).” It’s just Mitt and his piano, with lots of ding-ding-dings. Pretty song. Pretty ding-dings. “You Make Me Feel Like It’s Halloween” sounds very Halloweeny - like an ancient haunted mansion, where skeletons drum to the steps of humans, and in the background emanates an infinitely creepy and yet-to-be-released cover of "Macarena" by Marilyn Manson. “Kill or Be Killed” is obviously sung from the perspective of a vampire, who’s being blackmailed by a mob-boss named Donnie. No pun intended, but it's killer! I actually never got around to listening to “Verona,” so I better not say anything about it. I just hope it doesn’t feature Mitt doing his best Knack impersonation by singing, “My Verona.” I never much cared for that song, yet it always seems to get stuck in my head whenever I hear it. “Euphoria” is a song. Then, the ultimate highlight of the album has to be its final track – “We Are F*cking F*cked.” It’s everything in a single song. It’s at the same time fast and slow, hard and soft, Metallica’s “Enter Sandman” and Coldplay’s “Yellow.” There are guitars that sound like tambourines and tambourines which resemble clarinets. Not to get all fruity, but this song is f*cking bananas!
Muse’s Well of the People is full of sounds – from the dun-duns to the ding-dings, and everything in between. Mitt’s voice can be heard throughout, Don’s drums as well, not to mention Christ’s bass. Muse has officially released a new album.
Grade: 4/5
For fans of: This, That, and The Otter
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