The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

Kansas City Chiefs kicker and guy voted least masculine in his kindergarten class - Harrison Butker - made news over the weekend, as he was the commencement speaker at Benedictine College, in Atchison, Kansas. Most the press centered around the kindergarten wimp's comments regarding women, as many took them to be misogynistic. Crazily enough, those controversial statements may not have been the worst of it. Let us now dissect his speech. "Ladies and gentlemen of the Class of 2024:  I would like to start off by congratulating all of you for successfully making it to this achievement today. I'm sure your high school graduation was not what you had imagined, and most likely, neither was your first couple years of college. I'm kind of nitpicking here, but why do people say, "I would like to congratulate you" and then they never actually say "congratulations"? It reminds me of when a person says, "I'd like to apologize in case anyone was of...

Trump supporters stormed the streets after it was revealed their favorite band, Rage Against the Machine, was not in fact angry at the same machine they were. Billy-Joe-Bob-Jimmy Johns-Jones-Smith, a 109-year-old resident of Trailer Park, Kentucky, said, "We's always be playin' them's songs when that there washer broke down again. When that happened, we'd be like, 'Welp, it's time for a little 'Take the Power Back.' But then we hears they's mad at people like the Orange Messiah himself? What da hells is wrong wit dem?!? That's it. No more rage for me!" Jessica Falseteeth, a 22-year-old dental assistant at an undisclosed Walmart added, "I always thought 'Without a Face' was about a dishwasher and 'Voice of the Voiceless' was about the fan in my room. Feels like I've been lied to all my life!" Feeling the purported backlash of couples of MAGA supporters, Rage guitarist Tom Morello tweeted the following messag...

I just received these comments on my books, of which there are 20: "I've been reviewing your work, and I must say, it's truly amazing! Your unique blend of humor and satire really stands out." "Your talent and creativity are evident." All of my books can be found at this link. - https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B00JBQ95LO

I've never been much into TikTok, but the more my son insists on watching it, the more it grinds my gears, and while I'm not sure I agree with it being banned outright, part of me just wishes it would go away. First off, the parental controls get a 'C' grade, if that. My son just turned 6, and while I know it's naive to think he won't run into not-age-appropriate content of some nature or another here and there, I try to limit said interactions as much as I can. That's been easier said than done at times with TikTok. Also, while a lot of the content may not technically be age-inappropriate, I still don't care for it, and feel prompted to turn it off immediately. What both saddens and annoys me more than anything else about the site is the sheer desperation displayed in many of the videos. I can't tell you how many times I've heard the following: - "Hit like and subscribe if you love your parents. If you don't hit like and subscribe, it m...

I just received this comment on my latest book, "Back to the Failure": - "Back to the failure! I love it! 👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼🔥" The book can be found and purchased here. -  https://www.amazon.com/Back-Failure-Craig-Rozniecki-ebook/dp/B0CHK6RQHP/?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_w=kvirj&content-id=amzn1.sym.cf86ec3a-68a6-43e9-8115-04171136930a&pf_rd_p=cf86ec3a-68a6-43e9-8115-04171136930a&pf_rd_r=134-7890507-3528303&pd_rd_wg=odUHg&pd_rd_r=49ed8667-0478-456b-9a59-783c6d24661e&ref_=aufs_ap_sc_dsk

Since Trumpers are so confident about their dear orange leader's debating skills, I thought I'd have a little fun with it. Take 1, and action... "Welcome to the 2024 Trump v. Trump debate. I'm your moderator, Jake Tapit. We'll start today with a question about debates. Why did you decide to debate today?" Donald Trump: “The public knows who I am and what a successful presidency I had. I will therefore not be doing the debates.” Jake Tapit: "But you are doing a debate. Interesting. Mr. Trump, your response?" Donald Trump: "Just tell me when. Let's get ready to rumble!" Tapit: "Now that's more like it! I'd like to follow that up with a question about our 44th President. What are your thoughts on Barack Obama?" Trump: “I think President Obama has been the most ignorant president in our history…President Obama when he became president, he didn’t know anything. This guy didn’t know a thing. And honestly, today he knows less...

I've previously broken down, via the Bureau of Labor statistics, how much better the economies were and are under Presidents Obama and Biden than it was under Donald Trump. At this, the only response I've received from Trumpers is: "COVID! Trump had the best economy in history until COVID and all the jobs under Biden are just the ones which were lost during it! COVID! COVID! COVID!" Never mind the fact Trump ignored the worst pandemic since the Spanish flu for roughly a month and millions more lives would be significantly/permanently impacted as a result, but I digress. I'll play their game. Donald Trump was in office for 3 years before COVID struck the U.S. Here were the jobs numbers by year: 2/17-1/18: 2.031M 2/18-1/19: 2.395M 2/19-1/20: 1.983M Total: 6.409M Let's contrast that with Obama's final 3 years in the Oval Office: 2/14-1/15: 3.011M 2/15-1/16: 2.634M 2/16-1/17: 2.440M Total: 8.085M In other words, nearly 1.7M more jobs were created in Obama'...

Pearl Jam – “Dark Matter” (2024) 1.      “Scared of Fear” (8.5/10) – Within the first 10 seconds, I hear Bon Jovi, Dire Straits, and then Pearl Jam. These seemingly odd transitions and mergers become quite commonplace throughout the album. In this case, it works rather nicely. Overall, the feel of this song is a mesh of late-‘70s/early-‘80s rock with ‘90s Pearl Jam. Solid vocals, and what seems to be trends throughout “Dark Matter” are excellent guitar work and a progressive structure – as the song gradually grows in intensity until a climactic end. Excellent opening track. 2.      “React, Respond” (9/10) – Ever thought to yourself, “I wonder if there’s a lost track from ‘Vitalogy,’ where Thom Yorke was the songwriter; Eddie Vedder was the singer; and Flea played bass”? Well, if so, you’re in luck – because this is THAT song. Love it or hate it (I’m in the former camp), “Vitalogy” was a strange album – probably the most experimental in the b...

Coming soon: my parodies on iTunes! I've officially written 121 songs and counting. Yes, it may take a little while to record and release them all, so please be patient. Regardless, here are all the titles, listed in alphabetical order by the name of the original recording artist, and then the title of the parody, if I've written more than one song based on a particular musician's work. Stay tuned! "If I Lost $1,000,000,000" (based off the Barenaked Ladies' "If I Had $1,000,000") "Ready to Take Us Back Again" (based off Barry Manilow's "Ready to Take a Chance Again")  "Yuge" (based off Better Than Ezra's "Good") "Turtle's Spell" (based off Billy Idol's "Rebel Yell") "The Donald Fan" (based off Billy Joel's "Piano Man")  "Hit the Jim/Gym" (based off Biz Markie's "Just a Friend") "Trickin' Boomers" (based off Biz Mar...