The Top Ten Jesus Pick-Up Lines (yes, I'm likely going to hell)
10. “You know, back in Bethlehem, I was known as FJ or Footlong Jesus.”
9. "Want to see a little slice of heaven? Come to my bedroom and I'll show you."
8. "I'm a little tired of being perfect. Want to undo everything I've done by doing me?"
7. "My mother may be a virgin, but I'm sure as hell not!"
6. “I’m through with having disciples. How would you like to be the first of my twelve bitches?”
5. “I may have walked on water, turned water into wine and risen from the dead, but all of that pales in comparison to what I want to do to you.”
4. "I've done everything to please you eternally. The least you can do is please me right now."
3. “If I have my way with you tonight as I hope, I think my father is going to add another Commandment.”
2. "I saved it. How about you give me a piece of that ass in return?"
1. (drum roll) "I got nailed to some wood once. Now I'd like to use my wood to nail you.”
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