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Don Jr. teaches his daughter about what he believes socialism to be...

Donald Trump Jr. continues to showcase that the "bigly" stupid gene runs in the family, as he has again illustrated he knows as much about socialism as a dog named Lucky knows about kama sutra. On Halloween, the president's son tweeted a picture of his daughter Chloe holding up a half full/half empty bowl of candy, adding the words, "I'm going to take half of Chloe's candy tonight & give it to some kid who sat at home. It's never to early to teach her about socialism."

Apparently there is such a thing as TOO late to teach him about socialism, well, and English/spelling. Let me get this straight; on a day when kids all over the country knock on neighbors' and strangers' doors, asking for free candy, Don Jr. stealing half that candy from his own daughter and giving it to a kid at home is an example of socialism? As Mandy Patinkin said in The Princess Bride, "I do not think that word means what you think it means."

Let's break this down even further:

Step 1
Donald Trump Jr. takes his daughter out trick-or-treating, asking for free handouts (candy), and that's perfectly acceptable.

Step 2
Donald Trump Jr. takes half of his daughter's free handouts (candy) and calls it socialism.

Conclusion: Donald Trump Jr. doesn't know what socialism is and he's a cold-hearted jerk.

Based on that rationale (or lack of it), I predict Don Jr. will utter the following to his daughter at some point:

- "I'm gonna loan you millions of candies, let you run out six times, & then call you a good businessperson."

- "Okay, now pretend these pieces of candy are your papa's tax returns. That's it. Probably no ketchup this time."

- "You? 100 Skittles. Give me your reds. Doll? 2 Skittles. No reds to give. That's taxes. Not fair, is it?"

- "I bought this Milky Way. I have to eat it. I can't throw or give it away. I have no choice. So, yeah, abortion."

- "These two jelly beans don't belong together. Let's call them Adam & Steve. Now let's eat Adam & Steve. Yum."

- "Let's say these Starburst cure cancer. If everyone had one, that'd be bad, because, you know, death panels."

- "Go ahead & hit me with that gummy bear. Ow! That could've killed me! This is why we can't have gun control."

- "If you want a special kind of candy, ask papa to call Uncle Vlady & he'll get it for you. That's democracy."

- "Give me all your candy. In due time, some of this candy will trickle down to you. Isn't that cool?"

https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2017/11/01/donald-trump-jr-tweets-a-lesson-about-socialism-using-his-daughter-and-candy-he-may-not-grasp-socialism/?utm_term=.f5bccd40df36
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