Skip to main content

#Putin, #JeffSessions, and #SessionsHearing

I had some fun with the trending hashtags #Putin, #JeffSessions, and #SessionsHearing on Twitter over the past few days. Here are my posts, ordered from the most popular to the least popular (all my tweets can be seen here - https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki):

1) Rep.: "Do you recall?"
Sessions: "Has the media reported it?"
Rep.: "No"
Sessions: "I don't recall."
Rep: "Do you recall?"
Sessions: "Has the media reported it?"
Rep.: "Yes"
Sessions: "I do recall."
Rep.: "When did you recall?"
Sessions: "When it got reported."
#JeffSessions
384 Likes, 170 Retweets

2) GOP Reps: "Who won the election?"
Sessions: "Donald Trump"
"Who is president?"
Sessions: "Donald Trump"
"If Russia helped the winning nominee, who'd that be?"
Sessions: "Donald Trump"
"So is it then safe to assume Hillary Clinton colluded w/Russia?"
Sessions: "Yes"
#JeffSessions
233 Likes, 83 Retweets

3) Trump: "Putin didn't meddle. How could he have meddled when Russia's way over there and we're over here? Can you see Russia from your house? I can't. Just doesn't make sense."
#Putin
95 Likes, 27 Retweets

4) "Where were you when you awoke this morning?"
Sessions: "I do not recall."
"What did you have for breakfast?"
Sessions: "I do not recall."
"What do you recall?"
Sessions: "I do not recall."
"Who is your cult leader?"
Sessions: "Donald Trump. I mean I do not recall."
#JeffSessions
96 Likes, 24 Retweets

5) Dem Rep.: "Did you or anyone else in the White House commit treason?"
Sessions: "I do not recall."

GOP Rep.: "While I massage your back, tell me, how good do you think Alabama football is this year?"
Sessions: "Not as good as a golden shower in Russia, but good."
#JeffSessions
88 Likes, 29 Retweets

6) Trump: "It's like the saying goes, 'Bros before hos and Putin before U.S. citizens.' Make America great again."
#Putin
76 Likes, 22 Retweets

7) Trump: "Putin didn't meddle. What even is 'meddle'? That heavy music? My favorite meddle band is probably Taxslayer or whatever their name is, bigly."
#Putin
37 Likes, 9 Retweets

8) BREAKING NEWS: "Feeding off his hearing from yesterday, Jeff Sessions has decided to become the face of the new chief rival to Sure deodorant, as he'll utter in ads, 'Raise your hand if you can't recall whether you're maybe possibly potentially sure or not.'"
#SessionsHearing
28 Likes, 6 Retweets

9) Trump: "The first rule of Best Friends Club is you don't meddle in best friends' elections, so no, my BFF Vlady didn't do that. Period."
#Putin
23 Likes, 5 Retweets

Totals: 1,060 Likes, 375 Retweets (Averages of 117.8 Likes, 41.7 Retweets)
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun
2 comments
Read more

The difference between "looking" and "checking out"

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i
Post a Comment
Read more

The verdict is in. To no one's surprise, Jonathan Hoenig has been found guilty of being an idiot.

Just recently, when discussing the Michael Brown shooting and whether or not race had anything to do with it, Fox News contributor Jonathan Hoenig said, "You know who talks about race? Racists." One moment while I provide Mr. Hoenig with the well deserved slow-clap. :: slow-claps for two seconds :: So, that was quite the line by Mr. Hoenig, wasn't it? "You know who talks about race? Racists." Well, wasn't he just talking about race? So, by his own words, I guess that makes him a racist. Also, if he wants to be consistent, does this mean that people whom talk about gender are sexists and people whom talk about sexual orientation are homophobes? With that line of thinking, Hoenig would engage in the following back-and-forths: Hoenig: "So, who are you voting for?" A woman: "The Democratic candidate, because he's been adamant about his support for equal rights for women." Hoenig: "You sexist feminist nazi!"
Post a Comment
Read more