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What I learned in Week 3 of the NFL season

In Week 3 of the NFL season, I learned that...

- ..., after being listed as a robot on the census for 41 years, Tom Brady is now officially labeled as a human.

- ...victory is spelled f-r-e-e b-e-e-r.

- ...Jon Gruden is regretting he turned down a role in the next Child's Play film.

- ..., outside of the Los Angeles Rams and Arizona Cardinals, Dennis Green's "They are who we thought they were!" quote doesn't apply to anybody.

- ...Andrew Luck is anti-Catholic, for he's unwilling to have anything to do with a Hail Mary.

- ..., with Jimmy Garoppolo going down with a season-ending knee injury, the San Francisco 49ers are reportedly looking to replace him with George Stephanopoulos, George Papadopoulos, or Mr. Snuffleupagus.

- ...the Kansas City Chiefs quarterback is playing at such a high level, (Madden) gamers may soon refer to such off-the-wall statistics as Mahomes numbers.

- ...Clay Matthews III will soon write a book, entitled, How To Get Flagged By Making A Textbook Tackle. Chances are he'll get flagged upon its release.

- ...Ben Roethlisberger likes creeping out porn stars more than porn stars like creeping out the 40-year-old virgin.

- ...Jason Witten is the most insightful color commentator this side of Mr. Bean.
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