Skip to main content

What I learned in Week 3 of the NFL season

In Week 3 of the NFL season, I learned that...

- ..., after being listed as a robot on the census for 41 years, Tom Brady is now officially labeled as a human.

- ...victory is spelled f-r-e-e b-e-e-r.

- ...Jon Gruden is regretting he turned down a role in the next Child's Play film.

- ..., outside of the Los Angeles Rams and Arizona Cardinals, Dennis Green's "They are who we thought they were!" quote doesn't apply to anybody.

- ...Andrew Luck is anti-Catholic, for he's unwilling to have anything to do with a Hail Mary.

- ..., with Jimmy Garoppolo going down with a season-ending knee injury, the San Francisco 49ers are reportedly looking to replace him with George Stephanopoulos, George Papadopoulos, or Mr. Snuffleupagus.

- ...the Kansas City Chiefs quarterback is playing at such a high level, (Madden) gamers may soon refer to such off-the-wall statistics as Mahomes numbers.

- ...Clay Matthews III will soon write a book, entitled, How To Get Flagged By Making A Textbook Tackle. Chances are he'll get flagged upon its release.

- ...Ben Roethlisberger likes creeping out porn stars more than porn stars like creeping out the 40-year-old virgin.

- ...Jason Witten is the most insightful color commentator this side of Mr. Bean.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...

Trump's Lie Tally at the CNN Debate

1) "We had the greatest economy in the history of our country. We had never done so well. Every – everybody was amazed by it. Other countries were copying us." 2) "But the thing we never got the credit for, and we should have, is getting us out of that COVID mess." 3) "The only jobs he created are for illegal immigrants and bounceback jobs; they’re bounced back from the COVID." 4) "Not going to drive them higher. It’s just going to cause countries that have been ripping us off for years, like China and many others, in all fairness to China – it’s going to just force them to pay us a lot of money, reduce our deficit tremendously, and give us a lot of power for other things." (tariffs) 5) "He also said he inherited 9 percent inflation." 6) "No, he inherited almost no inflation and it stayed that way for 14 months. And then it blew up under his leadership, because they spent money like a bunch of people that didn’t know what t...