Skip to main content

What I learned in Week 14 of the NFL season

In Week 14 of the NFL season, I learned that...

- ...the Derrick Henry stiff-arm will likely soon be outlawed in 22 states.

- ...either fat ladies don't sing there or no fat ladies are present in Miami.

- ...Rob Gronkowski will soon invest in Velcro shoes.

- ...it was on Pittsburgh Steelers place-kicker Chris Boswell's bucket list to one-up Mark Sanchez's butt-fumble with a butt-field goal.

- ..., given the awful officiating this season, the NFL will now require referees to possess at least 10/20 vision.

- ..., when in Oakland, Pittsburgh Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin suffers from the rare disorder of sleep-coaching.

- ...the Los Angeles Rams enjoy cold-weather games about as much as George Costanza enjoys cold-watered pools.

- ...Troy Aikman's eyes are more blood-shot than Snoop Dogg's at a Pink Floyd concert on 4/20.

- ... Baltimore Ravens quarterback Lamar Jackson drops more balls than a blind juggler suffering from narcolepsy.

- ...a solar eclipse may soon be referred to as a Rodgers pick, for the two occur at about the same rate.

Labels

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...
2 comments
Read more

Face guarding is legal in college football and the NFL

I just wanted to remind fans and announcers especially, that face guarding is legal in both college football and the NFL. It all comes down to contact. So long as a defender doesn't make contact with an intended receiver, he doesn't have to turn around to play the ball. I can't tell you how many times every week I hear announcers talk about face guarding being a penalty. It's not. I even heard one announcer yesterday state, "If the defender doesn't turn around and play the ball, the ref will call pass interference every time." That's simply not true. Courtesy of referee Bill LeMonnier, he says this with regard to the rule at the college level (answered on 8/12/13): "NCAA rules on pass interference require the face guarding to have contact to be a foul. No contact, no foul by NCAA rules." In the NFL rule book, this is written:  "Actions that constitute defensive pass interference include but are not limited to: (a) Contact by a ...
2 comments
Read more