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What I learned in Week 2 of the NFL season...

In Week 2 of the NFL Season, I learned that...

- ...Superman (Cam Newton) now parks handicapped before taking flight at the airport.

- ...when facing the Los Angeles Rams, the New Orleans Saints also square off against what's now known as the Curse of the Zebras.

- ...the Dolphins are so bad, even SeaWorld is embarrassed by them.

- ...Marvin Lewis is now saying, "Getting fired by the Cincinnati Bengals was the best career move I ever made."

- ...Kirk Cousins is playing so poorly, he often gets mistaken for a Dolphin.

- ...tackling will soon result in a 15-yard penalty, loss of down, six-figure fine, forfeit of a game, and minimum 30-day prison sentence at Leavenworth.

- ...referees are now being referred to as the Oprahs of the NFL: "You get a flag! You get a flag! Every single one of you gets a flag!"

- ...Doc Brown and Marty McFly have a new biggest fan - Adam Vinatieri.

- ...for every touchdown he scores, Antonio Brown has vowed to donate his penis to a charity called Jail Time.

- ...Sam Darnold has apparently been making out with too many of his teammates.
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