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David Letterman was NOT responsible for this Top Ten List...

Just the other day, I came across the following post on Facebook, where the poster ironically added the words "Too true!" in his status. I say it's ironic because the post isn't true at all. It's entitled, "David Letterman's Top 10 Reasons to vote Democrat" and goes as follows:

"David Letterman's Top 10 Reasons to vote Democrat

#10.  I vote Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my German Shepherd.

#9.  I vote Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon at 15% isn't.

#8.  I vote Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

#7.  I vote Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

#6.  I vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves. I am also thankful that we have a 911 service that gets police to your home in order to identify your body after a home invasion.

#5.  I vote Democrat because I'm not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive and comfy.

#4.  I vote Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we should take away Social Security from those who paid into it.

#3.  I vote Democrat because I believe that businesses should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrat Party sees fit.

#2.  I vote Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

#1.  And, the #1 reason I vote Democrat is because I think it's better to pay $billions$ for oil to people who hate us, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher, or fish here in America. We don't care about the beetles, gophers, or fish in those other countries."

Upon seeing the title of this article, I knew right away it wasn't true, and fact-checker Snopes.com backed up my assumption (http://www.snopes.com/politics/quotes/letterman.asp). Either the author of this article had never watched The Late Show with David Letterman before or he assumed all like-minded people wouldn't know David Letterman from Mahatma Gandhi so they'd likely take it as fact. As anyone who has ever watched David Letterman's late-night show before would know, he is anything conservative. While he's poked fun at liberals and Democrats before, namely Bill Clinton during the Monica Lewinsky scandal, the man is quite progressive. Never before have I heard a far-right conservative say, "You know, that David Letterman doesn't poke fun at the Republican Party enough; I'm starting to think he's a conservative." No, in fact, if anything, I've heard the direct opposite: "I can't watch Letterman anymore. The guy is just too political and too slanted to the left for my liking. I watch Leno instead."

Not only is the alleged source of this article inaccurate, so too are many of its Top Ten List claims. Let's look at these one by one, shall we?

"#10.  I vote Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my German Shepherd."

Not this ridiculous slippery-slope argument again. Can a dog give its consent for marriage? No? Well, then, you don't have an argument now, do you? I'll answer that for you - no, you don't. Next...


"#9.  I vote Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon at 15% isn't."

Those numbers are iffy, at best. According to fact-checker FactCheck.org (http://www.factcheck.org/2011/05/playing-politics-with-gasoline-prices/), here is how those prices break down:

"...But the 7-cents-per-gallon figure (as opposed to the 4% cited in the Top Ten List) grossly underestimates the industry's earnings. It includes only earnings from the sale of gasoline and not earnings on producing and selling crude oil. There are no independent figures on how much oil companies earn on a gallon of gasoline."

and

"Oil industry analyst Kloza called the 7-cents-per-gallon figure 'disingenuous,' because it ignores high earnings from oil production. 'Bringing crude oil to market has been incredibly profitable,' Kloza said. 'It is disingenuous to say in the downstream we are making only this much.'

ExxonMobil reported that its upstream earnings were $8.7 billion in the first quarter — up $2.9 billion, or 49 percent, compared with a year ago. As of August 2010, it was the third largest oil refiner in the U.S."


"#8.  I vote Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would."

While I've definitely disagreed with how the government spends taxpayer dollars in the past, those tax dollars and governmental spending is a rather essential ingredient to this country continuing to function. The next time this author sees all working people not being taxed annually by the federal government and using those hard-earned dollars to work on our roads, improve our schools, keep our streets safe, and better prepare us militarily, please have him contact me. Thanks. Yes, I have a feeling I'll be waiting a while too...


"#7.  I vote Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it."

This one doesn't make a great deal of sense to me, because while liberals and Democrats may tend to be a bit more sensitive when it comes to certain terms and labels, that isn't always the case. Which group of people has been more outspoken than any other lately about being offended with regard to the Supreme Court's recent decisions and the Confederate flag being removed from the South Carolina state Capitol? Conservative Christian Republicans. Also, let's not kid ourselves; while we like to believe that we are completely free in this country, that isn't the case. There are always exceptions, limitations, and responsibilities that come with each and every freedom. So, for the most part, we have the freedom to say as we please, but that isn't always the case, and while we may be free to express our opinions publicly, that doesn't refrain others from being able to practice their 1st Amendment rights by criticizing our opinions. It also doesn't protect us from facing other possible repercussions, especially on a professional level.


"#6.  I vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves. I am also thankful that we have a 911 service that gets police to your home in order to identify your body after a home invasion."

So, this author has twisted progressives' opinions on guns from "We want to make it more difficult for angry, violent, individuals (or criminals) to purchase and own guns" to "We don't know nor want to know how to use a gun, so nobody else should be allowed to have them." Okay then... With that kind of reasoning (or lack there of), 13-year-olds all across the country are saying, "We're not yet responsible enough to drive a car, so we don't believe anyone should be able to drive!"


"#5.  I vote Democrat because I'm not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive and comfy."

Which party has been preaching comprehensive sex education and contraception coverage on women's employer-based healthcare plans? Both proven to decrease unwanted pregnancies and abortions? The Democratic Party. Which party has been preaching abstinence-only education and been opponents of including contraception on women's employer-based healthcare plans? Both proven to increase unwanted pregnancies and abortions? The Republican Party. So while Republicans have tended to adamantly speak out against abortion, they've implemented policies which increase them, and while Democrats have tended to support a woman's reproductive freedom, they've also implemented policies which decrease abortions. Who's the pro-life party again?


"#4.  I vote Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we should take away Social Security from those who paid into it."

Actually, illegal immigrants aren't covered under the Affordable Care Act (AKA Obamacare - http://www.politifact.com/florida/statements/2013/jul/09/chain-email/illegal-immigrants-are-covered-under-health-care-l/), and if there's anyone who's been trying to make cuts in Social Security benefits, it's the GOP (http://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/yes-republicans-want-big-time-cuts-in-social-security). So, yeah, try again...


"#3.  I vote Democrat because I believe that businesses should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrat Party sees fit."

This is pure exaggeration through and through. This is a capitalist country. Democrats don't speak out against businesses making profit; they speak out against the growing wealth gap in this country and how this country is increasingly looking like an oligarchy. They're speaking out on the fact that, since 1983, upper-income individuals and families have seen their net worth increase 101% ($639,400 as of 2013), while middle-income families have seen their net worth increase just 2.3% ($96,500), and lower-income families have seen their net worth decrease 18.4% ($9,300) in that same time-frame (http://www.nytimes.com/2014/12/18/business/economy/us-wealth-gap-widest-in-at-least-30-years-pew-study-says.html?_r=0).


"#2.  I vote Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters."

Psst... 5 of the 9 Supreme Court Justices are conservative...


"#1.  And, the #1 reason I vote Democrat is because I think it's better to pay $billions$ for oil to people who hate us, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher, or fish here in America. We don't care about the beetles, gophers, or fish in those other countries."

Yeah, that's it. Why did we invade Iraq under George W. Bush again? No, it wasn't due to them having weapons of mass destruction. No, it wasn't to spread democracy. Oh, that's right, it was for oil (http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/19/opinion/iraq-war-oil-juhasz/)...


So not only did this author mistakenly cite David Letterman as the source of this Top Ten List, the actual list itself was also lacking in its accuracy. Like I said, it was rather ironic that the poster referred to this article as "Too true!," because it was anything but. If anyone wants to read or hear an actual Top Ten List concocted by David Letterman, just go to this link - http://www.etonline.com/news/167836_david_letterman_gives_top_10_to_slam_donald_trump/. The article is entitled, "David Letterman Comes Out of Retirement to Slam Donald Trump With 'Top 10' List." Yeah, like I said, he's definitely a conservative, anti-Democrat...

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