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Feeling old around the holidays...

One thing I've noticed as I age is that holidays tend to lose that spark they once had. It's still highly enjoyable to get together with family over Thanksgiving and Christmas, tell stories, share a few laughs, eat way too much food, drink a bit too heavily, and reflect on life (hopefully not while eating or drinking too much). Over the years, though, perhaps partially due to repetition, a loss of naivete, and reality slowly overtaking one's dreams, many such annual celebrations lose the magic they once possessed. This is especially the case around Christmas. I can remember my younger brother and I staying up all night on Christmas Eve, not being able to sleep due to the excitement we felt about the following morning. Without bothering to bathe or change out of our pajamas, we'd jump out of bed as soon as an adult started walking around the house, would dart for the Christmas tree, and start unwrapping presents at light-speed. After a few years, that level of excitement began to decrease. We'd find ourselves sleeping in more on Christmas morning, falling asleep rather early the night before, and even having trouble deciding what we wanted as gifts on the holiday, if anything. I can now understand why parents go out of their way to spoil their children on Christmas. For many, it's not just about making their kids happy, it's also about trying to recapture that excitement they once felt, of reliving a joyous moment from their pasts, and not completely losing their inner-child.

The 4th of July is another such holiday which has lost its luster with me through the years. As kids, my brother and I always looked forward to heading out with our mother to pick out fireworks. We'd tend to go with the ones with cool names or that looked promising in terms of big explosions. Our parents would light off the fireworks in the street and we'd always watch and marvel. When we reached an age where our folks thought we were smart and mature enough to light off a few on our own, we gladly did so. We slowly reached the point where we'd rather go to a fireworks display than pay hundreds of dollars and light them off on our own. Then this year, for the first time in as long as I can remember, we didn't light off any fireworks or attend any displays, and oddly enough, I wasn't disappointed at all about this. While fireworks symbolize independence and can be quite striking to the eyes, once a person's seen one major fireworks' display, he/she's pretty much seen them all, and the excitement he or she may have felt for the spectacle as a child is no longer present. In spite of this, many parents go out of their way and spend a great deal of money for this holiday to make their kids happy and to also try and recapture a part of themselves they may have felt they lost.

I hear all the time, "You're still young!," in addition to the sayings, "Age is but a number" and "34 is the new 24" (or whatever one wants to make those numbers), yet around the major holidays is when I really start to feel old. I realize I'd be looked at as strange if I dressed up in a costume and went door-to-door asking for candy on Halloween. I'd receive a similar reaction if I went to the mall around Christmas and sat on Santa's lap telling him what I wanted on the morning of December 25th. It's now reached the point where it's even difficult for me to remember much about such celebrations when I was growing up. Anymore, I just try to approach such holidays as times to rejoice with friends, family, and loved ones, to reflect on the past (of what we can remember), discuss the present, and continue to try and hope for the future. Also, while I may not have any kids of my own, I also try to again find that magic I once felt through them (my niece in particular). Kids won't realize this until well into their adult years, but while they may cost their parents a great deal of money during these annual celebrations, they also provide their parents with much more than money could ever buy. They help their folks not lose sight of themselves and their histories. They help their parents feel young again and not completely lose that inner-child we all possess to some degree or another. They help their parents recapture the magic and joy they too once felt during these days. They help their parents laugh, smile, be happy, and realize the true importance of these holidays. While the same story being told for multiple years may get repetitive and boring to many, that's never the case when joined with friends, family, and loved ones, and seeing one another laugh, smile, and happy.

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