Skip to main content

Happy Hollimasukkah!

It seems that on an annual basis, around this time of year, I hear people show anger or annoyance at those who express seasons greeting differently than them.

Emerald Fuddyduddy: "Happy Holidays!"

Russell Zoloft: "No, it's Merry Christmas! What are you, a fricking atheist?!?"

Fuddyduddy: "Seasons Greetings!"

Zoloft: "Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! You can't spell 'Christ' without 'Christmas,' or something like that!"

I'm sorry, but who cares? Fox News likes to clamor on about an alleged "War on Christmas" because an increasing number of people are telling each other "Happy Holidays" as opposed to "Merry Christmas," but that's a bigger myth than Santa Claus being healthy enough to travel the world on December 25th of every year without facing any repercussions.

Again, who cares? It's not like when someone says "Happy Holidays," they're really saying, "Hey! Hey! Hey! You wanna know what I think about Christmas? F*ck you! F*ck you! F*ck you too! F*ck all of you!" No, they're simply saying, "I hope you have a safe and happy holiday season coming up with your friends, family, and loved ones." When someone says "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Hannukah" or "Happy Festivus," they're essentially expressing the same thing. Why must some of us take these greetings so personally? If, after I get married, 55% of people greet me by saying, "Congratulations!" while a handful of others say something along the lines of, "Way to go!" should I take the latter set of comments personally and feel offended by them? No, of course not. That'd be silly and would likely ruin a nice buzz if I focused too much on that.

I find it ironically humorous that many who complain about Christmas being stripped from us are the ones placing a damper on the holiday. Laugh, relax, enjoy time with your friends and family, and stop focusing on how others greet one another. Trust me, it'll make for a much happier holiday season for you and those around you. So, on that note, Happy Hollimasukkah!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...

The difference between "looking" and "checking out"

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i...