I've had some fun with trending hashtags on Twitter over the past month. Here are my posts, ordered from the most to the least popular (all my tweets can be viewed here - https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki):
1) Dems: "We're impeaching Donald J. Trump for obstructing Congress."
Reps: "He didn't obstruct Congress. Prove that he obstructed Congress."
Trump today: "Yeah, I'm obstructing Congress."
Dems: "You see?!?"
Reps: "That's irrelevant."
#TrumpImpeachmentTrial #Snark
3K Likes, 1.1K Retweets
2) Trump: "Oh, look, shifty Schiff! Pencil-neck Schiff!"
No, it's more like Adam "Continually Kicks The Ever-Living" Schiff "Out Of Republicans."
#ImpeachmentTrial #TrumpIsGuilty
2.8K Likes, 726 Retweets
3) Headline: "Trump allegedly said 'take her out' in reference to former Ukraine ambassador"
GOP: "We'll need to hear the tape."
The tape gets released.
GOP: "What if he was just being nice and suggesting to take her out to a Waffle House?"
#TrumpTapes #Snark
2.3K Likes, 612 Retweets
4) Amazing. It bothers the GOP more when a black man is President of the United States than when a white "president" is in bed with a foreign adversary; openly idolizes murderous dictators; & seeks to destroy any semblance of laws, principles, and democracy.
#ShamTrial #GOPCoverup
1.5K Likes, 584 Retweets
5) Graham and Cruz: "Let's ask Shifty Schiff a question."
Schiff schools them for five minutes.
...and the GOP says it wants Schiff to testify? Ha!
#ImpeachedForLife #Trump
1.6K Likes, 404 Retweets
6) If this were the Charles Manson trial...
Dems: "We want to call Charles Manson to the stand."
Reps: "Um, no, we're not gonna let you do that. Well, unless... Okay, how about this? You can call Charles Manson if we get to call Marilyn Manson."
#TrumpImpeachmentTrial #Snark
1.4K Likes, 244 Retweets
7) Dems: "No one is above the law, including the President of the United States!"
Reps: "No one is above the law if we completely disregard the law & make laws meaningless. From this day forth, there shall be no laws, unless you're gay, black, or Muslim."
#GOPCoverup #impeachment
1K Likes, 374 Retweets
8) Trump's past week:
- Allegedly says to take Ukraine ambassador out.
- Video proves it.
- Allegedly threatens Senate GOPers.
- Threatens Adam Schiff
- John Bolton confirms his Ukraine defense is BS.
Do you REALLY want to stand behind this guy, GOP?
#BoltonBombshell #TrumpIsGuilty
973 Likes, 359 Retweets
9) Dershowitz: "If a Democrat bribed a foreign ally by withholding military funding already approved by Congress, in exchange for announcing the investigation of a debunked conspiracy of a possible Republican opponent, would you want him impeached?"
Yes, next question.
#impeachment
805 Likes, 224 Retweets
10) The GOP isn't bothered by:
- Lies
- Adultery
- Sexual assault/harassment
- Bribery/extortion
- Fraud/money laundering
- Sucking up to dictator adversaries
- Gun violence
- Debt/deficit
- Poverty
- -isms
Rip a piece of paper, though, and they go bat-sh*t crazy!
#SOTU #NancyPelosi
674 Likes, 271 Retweets
11) If Trump shot someone on 5th Ave.
Schiff: "Think about it. The President of the United States shot someone, with a gun, and literally has their blood on his hands."
GOP: "Whoa! Schiff was fine until that 'blood-on-his-hands' bit. That's going way too far!"
#HeadsOnAPike #Snark
678 Likes, 201 Retweets
12) I seriously think Nancy Pelosi is about to grab Trump by the head and bash it against the podium at any moment...
#SOTU
714 Likes, 82 Retweets
White House: "Bolton must delete top secret classified information from his book before publishing."
13) Oh, but I thought Trump said the book was full of lies...
#BoltonBombshell #TrumpIsGuilty #ImpeachedForLife
544 Likes, 182 Retweets
14) Trump lawyers: "While the firefighters put out the fire and saved lives in the process, they didn't slide down the pole properly, so they shouldn't be credited for the saved lives."
#ImpeachedForLife #TrumpDefense #Snark
550 Likes, 144 Retweets
15) Can we please stop calling Congresspeople courageous for simply doing their jobs? I give Senators: Romney, Manchin, Jones, and Sinema credit for doing what was right, but that's where I'll stop. Morality should always trump job security.
#ImpeachedPresident
509 Likes, 112 Retweets
16) I see Trumpsters have got the name of their alleged whistleblower trending. Can't Twitter do something about this? They're literally placing a person's life in danger. They're traitors and about as pro-life as Jeffrey Dahmer was a vegetarian.
#Trump #ImpeachmentHearing
468 Likes, 139 Retweets
17) Fact-checking Eric Herschmann:
- Trump's current approval rating is 42.9%. (https://projects.fivethirtyeight.com/trump-approval-ratings/)
- Approval of impeachment is at 50.2%. (https://projects.fivethirtyeight.com/impeachment-polls/)
- He's underwater in 35 states. (https://morningconsult.com/tracking-trump-2/)
You're full of crap.
#ImpeachmentHearings #TrumpIsGuilty
379 Likes, 204 Retweets
18) Schiff: "Congressional Republicans have been part of a cover-up."
GOP: "Hey, that's not nice!"
Get used to it, snowflakes, for if you don't vote to proceed with documents & witnesses, that may be the nicest thing anyone says about you traitors.
#BoltonBombshell #TrumpIsGuilty
423 Likes, 147 Retweets
19) Cruz: "I'm going to vote no on first-hand witnesses, because if prosecution can't prove their case without first-hand witnesses, they shouldn't be allowed to try and prove their case with first-hand witnesses."
So says a first-rate traitor and dumba$$.
#IMPOTUS #Snark
442 Likes, 116 Retweets
20) Trump: "I grab women by the p*ssy."
Collins:
Trump: "Knock the crap out of 'em."
Collins:
Trump: "I'm gonna bribe an ally to undermine our democracy."
Collins:
Nadler: "I'm going to speak honestly, but not very nicely."
Collins: "That's going too far!"
#ImpeachmentTrial
400 Likes, 157 Retweets
21) I'm just waiting for Trump to say, "John Bolton? Who's that? Never met him. Wait, didn't he sing that one song - 'When a Man Grabs a Woman'? Great song. Great song. 'Steel Balls' was a good one too. Underrated, bigly."
#BoltonBombshell #TrumpIsGuilty #Snark
423 Likes, 108 Retweets
22) Ted Bundy: "Yeah, I killed all those people!"
GOP: "The charge is murder in the first degree. Did he ever use the specific word 'murder' or talk about any kind of degrees? No, so he's not guilty."
#ShamTrial #GOPCoverup #Snark
402 Likes, 114 Retweets
23) DT lawyers: "Everything the House managers said was true, but let's pretend for a second that it wasn't. Let's pretend for a moment we live in a country called the United States of Alternativa, the earth is an octagon, and we are more honest than Pinocchio."
#TrumpDefense #Snark
393 Likes, 114 Retweets
24) "I know words; I have the best words, believe me! Covfefe, hamberder, word oranges, unpresidented, anonamoose, Nambia, Tim Apple, my wife Melanie, the United Shursh, the 7/11 attacks, smocking gun, world peach, and honered, bigly."
#LiesTrumpHasTold #Snark
386 Likes, 92 Retweets
25) BREAKING NEWS: "All of the GOP attorneys are well on their way to hell, especially Sekulow, Cipillone, and well, sh*t, all of them"
#GOPCoverup
379 Likes, 80 Retweets
26) I swear Cipillone just said this is about overturning the popular will of the voters. Psst, Trump lost the popular vote by 3 million...
#GOPCoverup
354 Likes, 87 Retweets
27) Cipollone: "This is an election year. Let the voters decide. Trust the American people. Once again, after we ask for foreign aid in rigging the election, after we suppress votes, after we lie constantly, let's let the voters decide."
#ImpeachmentHearings #TrumpIsGuilty #Snark
295 Likes, 129 Retweets
28) It pretty much tells you all you need to know about Trumpsters when #TakeHerOut and #MarchForLife are trending alongside one another.
318 Likes, 100 Retweets
29) #TrumpDefense on why they only used 2 hours today: "This showed we didn't need long to prove our case."
No, it just showed you didn't have a case to begin with...
#ImpeachmentHearings
331 Likes, 85 Retweets
30) ...and there we have it. Donald Trump provides Rush Limbaugh with a Presidential Medal of Freedom. If you're a disloyal, drug-addled, lying bigot, you can be rewarded with a Presidential Medal of Freedom too!
#SOTU
289 Likes, 80 Retweets
31) Dear #TrumpDefense:
Do you really want to go after someone for lacking job experience? I mean, really?
#ImpeachmentTrials #HunterBiden
292 Likes, 70 Retweets
32) GOP: "If Donald Trump isn't transparent, we don't know what is. Tax returns? Secret. White House 'transcript?' Incomplete. Blocking witnesses from testifying? Most certainly. Testifying under oath? Not a chance. The most transparent president in history!"
#ImpeachmentTrial #Snark
258 Likes, 93 Retweets
33) Trump: "The best is yet to come."
Yeah, after you exit the White House in cuffs.
#SOTU
296 Likes, 53 Retweets
34) Trump: "Oh, the size of my penis? Believe me, I've got no problem there; I can guarantee it. I can guarantee it."
Stormy: "Picture the smallest mushroom you've ever seen. Yeah, it's even smaller than that."
#LiesTrumpHasTold #Snark
259 Likes, 72 Retweets
35) Dear Trumpsters:
What's more likely, everyone left around the same time you did in the morning, knowing you're running late for work, wanting to get you fired, or you forgot to set your alarm? This is no witch-hunt. It's no hoax. Donald Trump is guilty. Period.
#BoltonMustTestify
258 Likes, 61 Retweets
36) Like 75%+ of Americans, I'm extremely disappointed with the Senate's vote to block documents and witnesses in the #ImpeachmentTrialSham. However, the information is going to come out. Lev Parnas is going to continue providing clips/pictures. John Bolton's book will be released.
246 Likes, 71 Retweets
37) Dear #TrumpDefense:
Just because you label something as a "fact" doesn't make it so. If you were to say, "Two plus two equals 7; the capital of New Jersey is Nambia; & Papa John's makes the world's best pizza. These are facts.," that doesn't make them facts.
#ImpeachmentHearings
246 Likes, 62 Retweets
38) BREAKING NEWS: "A jury, a majority of which works for the defendant and has ties to the defense team, rules the defendant as not guilty, in a totally impartial fashion"
#ImpeachedPresident #Snark
231 Likes, 70 Retweets
39) #TrumpDefense: "If this were a Democratic president, would you vote to impeach and remove?"
If this were a Democratic president, would you vote for documents and witnesses?
#ImpeachmentTrial #TrumpIsGuilty
234 Likes, 54 Retweets
40) House managers: "Let's find out the whole truth. Documents & witnesses."
Defense attorneys: "The only way we can find out the whole truth is through documents & witnesses."
House: "We're glad you agree. So are you going to vote for it?"
Defense: "Uh, no"
#TrumpDefense #Snark
211 Likes, 75 Retweets
41) Did #KennethStarr seriously just try defending Trump by saying "one person, one vote"? Yeah, tell that to the electoral college, as your client lost by 3 million...
#TrumpIsGuilty #ImpeachedForever
197 Likes, 75 Retweets
42) Withhold military aid during war to rig an election
GOP: "Patriots!"
Kneel during the anthem
GOP: "Traitors!"
#TrumpsRemovalTrial #GOPCoverup
187 Likes, 76 Retweets
43) Philbin: "If you're innocent, it's perfectly understandable to not want the truth to come out. It actually makes sense. Information would just make you look more innocent, and who wants that?"
#ImpeachmentHearings #Trump #Snark
196 Likes, 61 Retweets
44) Then
Dershowitz: "There doesn't need to be a crime to impeach a president if that person corrupts the office, abuses trust, & poses a great danger to our liberty."
Now
Dershowitz: "What I said before, just make it the opposite."
What happened?
Jeffrey Epstein.
#Impeachment
189 Likes, 69 Retweets
45) Donald Trump is currently lying at the highest frequency ever recorded.
#SOTU
191 Likes, 60 Retweets
46) When #HookersForJesus, #TrumpBudget, and #ReaperOfDeath are all trending, they seem oddly connected.
The Reaper of Death announces the Trump budget, which includes Hookers for Jesus. Yeah, I think that works.
173 Likes, 76 Retweets
46) #MarshaBlackburn insults a veteran, yet GOPers are still offended by anthem-kneeling? Okay then...
#GOPTraitors #TrumpIsGuilty
178 Likes, 71 Retweets
46) When over half of the jury essentially works for the defense, no matter what said jury decides, he will never be exonerated.
#ImpeachedAndNotExonerated
192 Likes, 57 Retweets
46) Trump: "I don't know Lev Parnas, but know he's a con-man."
How do you know he's a con-man if you don't know him?
#ImpeachmentTrial #TrumpIsGuilty
198 Likes, 51 Retweets
50) Dems: "We're going to talk for 45 minutes, reading notes we took from months of research we did."
Reps: "We're going to see how many times we can say 'unconstitutional' in a 45-second span."
#ShamTrial #GOPCoverup #Snark
193 Likes, 55 Retweets
51) Trump's day so far:
- Further obstructs Congress for the world to see
- Claims if he's reelected, he'll seek to cut funds to Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid
- Says Elon Musk is "good at rockets"
- Declares Americans invented the wheel
...and it's only 2:30.
#ImpeachTrump
155 Likes, 88 Retweets
52) Bondi: "So, like, there was this thing, and this thing was like totally bad. I mean, fer sure, you know? So like, I mean, like, yeah, you know? Totally, right? So yeah. Thanks."
#ImpeachmentHearings #Trump #TrumpIsGuilty #Snark
183 Likes, 47 Retweets
53) BREAKING NEWS: "Five minutes in and Trump has lied 127 times"
#SOTU #Snark
186 Likes, 56 Retweets
54) Okay, so I have a serious question. I have my television in widescreen and it's unable to fit Jay Sekulow's growing nose during his constant lies. Is there a widescreen x 4.5 million option? Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
#ImpeachmentTrial #TrumpIsGuilty
206 Likes, 33 Retweets
55) GOP: "What DT did was wrong, but there's an election coming up."
He was caught trying to rig said election. Do you really think he's not going to continue trying? If someone attempts murder, are you going to say, "Let him be free for 10 months & see what happens"?
#TrumpIsGuilty
174 Likes, 63 Retweets
56) Congratulations to Pat Cipollone. His recent claim marks the 100,000th lie uttered by a GOP speaker today. Wait, there's 100,001. Now 100,002; 100,003. Crap, I better post this!
#ImpeachmentTrial #GOPCoverup
170 Likes, 56 Retweets
56) Jay Sekulow's Trump defense preview:
"We will prove that Elvis is alive and owns his own Yahtzee bar called 'All Shook Up;' that Hillary Clinton was the Loch Ness monster in a past life; & that you can't spell 'demon' without 'Democrat.'"
#ImpeachTrump #Snark
188 Likes, 38 Retweets
56) "Kenneth Starr is like watching paint dry."
Nah, watching paint dry is way more fun.
#KennethStarr #ImpeachedForever #TrumpIsGuiltyAF
197 Likes, 29 Retweets
59) The Trumps complaining about nepotism would be like Jeffrey Dahmer complaining about carnivores.
#ImpeachmentTrials #ImpeachmentDay #TrumpIsGuilty
174 Likes, 50 Retweets
60) Dear #TrumpDefenseTeam:
Stop lying about the origins of the Steele Dossier.
"Conservative Free Beacon originally funded firm that created Trump-Russia dossier" - http://politi.co/2iDXLp9
#ImpeachmentHearing #TrumpIsGuilty
143 Likes, 77 Retweets
61) They don't believe in a trial having documents or witnesses, yet believe in endangering the livelihood of a whistleblower by outing his/her name. Today's Republican Party, folks.
#ImpeachmentHearings #Trump #TrumpIsGuilty
147 Likes, 72 Retweets
62) Hillary Clinton. Joe Biden. Now Barack Obama. When will the #TrumpDefense start blaming their client's crimes on Lincoln, Washington, and President Camacho?
#impeachment #TrumpIsCorrupt
171 Likes, 45 Retweets
63) GOP: "It's all hearsay with your witnesses so far. Where are the first-hand accounts?"
Dems: "Let's call them."
GOP: "No. ...and where is the evidence?"
Dems: "Let's allow for documents."
GOP: "No. You see? You have no case!"
#ImpeachmentTrial #TrumpIsGuilty
154 Likes, 56 Retweets
64) With all of these misspellings, I predict that soon #MySharonaVirus will start trending.
#coronovavirus
173 Likes, 35 Retweets
65) It's amazing to look back at the Access Hollywood tape and think about how it parallels to today. The GOP will essentially let Trump do anything, even when he assaults the US Constitution, rule of law, and any sense of decency we once had.
#ImpeachedForLife #TrumpIsGuilty
149 Likes, 56 Retweets
66) Sekulow: "Schiff said yesterday that his father told him, in order to understand someone, you have to walk in someone else's shoes. So I now ask you today to walk in Donald Trump's shoes."
No thanks. For how dirty that guy is, those shoes are probably evidence.
#Trump
169 Likes, 39 Retweets
67) Dems: "We believe warnings should be issued before homes get struck by an F5 tornado."
Reps: "But why? Why can't we wait til a week after the tornado hits to issue warnings? That'd be the most rationale thing to do."
#TrumpsRemovalTrial #GOPCoverup
152 Likes, 50 Retweets
68) Cipollone: "President Trump is true to his word."
Sure, if that word is bullsh*t...
#GOPCoverup #ImpeachmentDay
157 Likes, 38 Retweets
69) Was he proven to be guilty beyond a reasonable doubt?
Alexander: "Yes"
So how do you vote?
Alexander: "Not guilty"
#TrumpIsGuilty #ImpeachmentHearing
#Snark
147 Likes, 44 Retweets
70) Trump: "We're gonna build a big, beautiful wall, one the likes of you've never seen. It's gonna be so strong, so perfect, unless there's a light breeze. Then it might blow over. Like I said, so big, so strong."
#Trump #Snark
152 Likes, 36 Retweets
71) Dersh: "What if a Dem. president promised a sack of marbles to Australia only if they sent every US citizen a picture of a koala? Wouldn't that be legal? So what's the difference between that and bribing Ukraine & endangering their lives for Biden dirt?"
#ImpeachedForLife #Snark
147 Likes, 37 Retweets
72) Dear GOP:
So what would your reaction be if a foreign leader threatened to withhold military funding from our troops, whom were actively at war, until you dug up dirt on his/her most likely election opponent?
#ImpeachmentTrial #GOPCoverup
135 Likes, 48 Retweets
72) I'm still waiting for a Democrat to pull a "My Cousin Vinny," as after a GOP speaker blathers, he/she responds with, "Everything that person just said is bullsh*t."
#ImpeachmentTrial #GOPCoverup
144 Likes, 39 Retweets
72) Mnuchin: "Hey Greta, you can start criticizing US environmental policies once you pass an economics class. It's about the economy, stupid!"
Hey numbnuts, if we destroy the planet, there will be no economy, stupid!
#Mnuchin #Snark
148 Likes, 35 Retweets
75) Trump figuratively rips the Constitution, Bible, and rule of law.
GOP: "Not a big deal. The man is a patriot through and through."
Pelosi rips a Trump speech.
GOP: "She should be ashamed! Impeach and remove her from office! Traitor!"
#SOTU #Snark
131 Likes, 48 Retweets
76) Purpura: "Why didn't the House managers tell you about Dr. Hill's testimony?"
Eh, it was live. Was this one of those secret televised meetings you guys keep talking about?
#TrumpIsGuilty #ImpeachmentHearings
138 Likes, 39 Retweets
77) Trump: "The only victories that matter in Washington are the victories that benefit the people."
What, like your impeachment and removal?
#SOTU
151 Likes, 25 Retweets
78) Psst, GOPers, where was this outrage after your dear leader immaturely snubbed Pelosi on a handshake?
#SOTU #RipItUpNancy
130 Likes, 41 Retweets
78) Cipollone: "Removing a president who cheated in the last election and wants to cheat in this election is cheating in and of itself."
#ImpeachmentHearings #TrumpIsGuilty #Snark
133 Likes, 38 Retweets
80) Dems: "You should read the transcript. You should watch her testimony. You should read that book, article, & listen to that interview. Then you can decide for yourself."
Reps: "We hereby propose a bill to make reading illegal."
Yeah, guess who's telling the truth...
#GOPCoverup
127 Likes, 43 Retweets
80) Bondi: "If I feel a crime has been committed, I won't start investigating it until years later. If a murder happened tomorrow, I wouldn't start the investigation until 2030 at the earliest, because that's what makes sense."
#ImpeachmentTrials #HunterBiden #Snark
132 Likes, 38 Retweets
80) Sekulow: "I'm now going to point to words on a screen I typed myself, without there being any evidence to prove as much, and then call these unproven words facts. That proves they are. Wait, what? Who asked that? Yes, I'm a lawyer!"
#TrumpIsGuilty #ImpeachedForever #Snark
138 Likes, 32 Retweets
83) It's becoming increasingly clear to me that Weird Al should parody Shaggy's song, "It Wasn't Me." It'd revolve around Donald Trump's "presidency," told from his vantage point, and be called, "Didn't Know Him."
#BoltonBombshell #TrumpIsGuilty
130 Likes, 38 Retweets
84) Trump: "I've helped establish the rule of law."
By being above it and essentially making laws meaningless? Yeah, sure...
#SOTU
133 Likes, 32 Retweets
85) It's amazing Secretary of State Pompeo mixed up Ukraine with Bangladesh, considering the two countries are between 3,600 and 3,700 miles away from one other. That'd be like mistaking Miami for Iceland.
#PompeoMeltdown #PompeoIsALiar
125 Likes, 36 Retweets
86) #TrumpDefense: "Yeah, our client is guilty, but so what? The real question needs to be, what is guilty? In essence we're asking, what is 'is?'"
#TrumpIsGuilty #ImpeachmentDay #ImpeachmentTrials #Snark
136 Likes, 20 Retweets
87) Philbin: "Hi, my name is Patrick Philbin. I'm in my 50s; I enjoy reading the CliffsNotes of Terms & Conditions; I like long tweets on the beach; and I've never been laid."
#TrumpIsGuilty #ImpeachmentTrials #Snark
129 Likes, 25 Retweets
88) There can be only one reason why the prosecution fights tooth-and-nail for evidence and witnesses to be allowed at a trial and why the defense fights equally as hard for them to be prohibited. Both sides know the defendant is guilty. Donald Trump is guilty.
#ImpeachmentTrial
106 Likes, 45 Retweets
89) The GOP has quite the gall to complain about process. Here they essentially have a majority of the jury actively rooting for the defense. The defendant is their boss. The judge is affiliated with them. If anyone has the right to complain, it's Democrats.
#ImpeachedForLife
111 Likes, 39 Retweets
90) A summary of today
Democrats: "We've given you the truth. We want more truth. Can you not handle the truth?"
Republicans: "Truth isn't truth."
#ImpeachedForever #Impeachment #TrumpIsGuilty
109 Likes, 40 Retweets
91) GOP now stands for Give 0 Phucks, for they don't give a phuck about anyone other than themselves.
#ImpeachmentTrial #GOPCoverup
119 Likes, 28 Retweets
92) If someone died via decapitation...
Trump: "He's just feeling a little disconnected. No big deal."
Cotton: "He's not dismissing the injury; he's just describing it."
#TrumpsWar #Iran #Snark
114 Likes, 24 Retweets
93) If Trump shot someone on 5th Ave. ...
#TrumpDefense: "You're trying to take away the vote of millions of people. Also, there's an election in a few months. Let the people decide. Do you really think he's going to shoot anyone else between now and then?"
#impeachment #Snark
102 Likes, 32 Retweets
94) Sekulow: "The president is not above the law, because there are no laws. Having said that, the real reason why Democrats don't think this trial is fair is the fact they didn't follow the law. Period."
#ImpeachmentHearing #TrumpIsGuilty #Snark
90 Likes, 40 Retweets
95) Alexander: "The House Managers' case was so convincing, they don't need additional witnesses to prove Trump guilty of abusing his power. He's guilty. But the people don't deserve to hear additional evidence and I'll vote to acquit."
Yeah, that'll go over well...
#TrumpIsGuilty
98 Likes, 29 Retweets
95) For how much he lies, Cipollone should really change his name to Cipinocchio.
#TrumpIsGuilty #ImpeachmentHearings
99 Likes, 28 Retweets
97) A woman who worships a man that got out of serving in a war by faking bone-spurs and is in bed with our adversary, Russia, says what?
#TrumpIsGuilty #GOPTraitors
90 Likes, 35 Retweets
98) Headline: "75% of Americans want witnesses"
GOP: "Hey, we're trying to give them what they want, but are trying to do it fairly. We'll give them John Bolton if, and only if they give us Jimmy Hoffa."
#TrumpImpeachment #Snark
96 Likes, 27 Retweets
99) "The president's case will finally be made."
Well then, that's it, for he doesn't have a case; he just is one.
#MidnightMitch
91 Likes, 31 Retweets
99) "I have the world's greatest memory. ...What? Those people I used to call my friends, the ones that once worked for me, and are now in jail? I don't recall any of them."
#LiesTrumpHasTold #Snark
99 Likes, 23 Retweets
101) Oh, here we go. The #TrumpDefenseTeam is showing clips of Democrats speaking out against removing Clinton from office in '98. Yes, because consensual blowjobs and trying to undermine our democracy is the same thing...
#IMPOTUS #ImpeachmentDay #Trump
101 Likes, 20 Retweets
102) At some point in the near future
"Never met them. Don't know them. Never heard of them." (In reference to his sons, Eric and Don, Jr.)
#LiesTrumpHasTold #Snark
96 Likes, 23 Retweets
102) Trump: "Socialism is bad. Space force is good. Be best. Build a wall. Illegal aliens are taking over. There's a ghost clapping behind me. Ressi.. Ressipossity... Ress... Whatever. Putin America first!"
#SOTU #Snark
100 Likes, 19 Retweets
104) If nothing else, this #ImpeachmentTrial has further proven the need for term limits. Instead of spending the bulk of your time worrying about the next election, you can spend your time trying to prove you deserved to be elected in the first place. #CountryOverParty
91 Likes, 27 Retweets
104) My Monday #ImpeachmentTrial prediction
#TrumpDefense: "John Bolton may have been in the same room as President Trump when he was on the phone with Zelensky, but as you can plainly see, he wears glasses, so he obviously could not hear what was being said."
#BoltonBombshell #Snark
97 Likes, 21 Retweets
106) He's glowing. Aw, he's pregnant with a Cheeto. Congratulations!
#WilliamMoon #DonaldTrump
88 Likes, 26 Retweets
107) Dems: "We want there to be witnesses and evidence, like you know, an actual trial."
Reps: "As we've always said, in a trial the defense should decide everything, including the verdict. Oh, except if the defendant is black."
#ImpeachmentTrial #Snark
88 Likes, 25 Retweets
108) I love how MSNBC seems to only be going to commercial breaks when Patrick Philbin is spewing bullsh*t, I mean talking...
#ImpeachedForLife #TrumpIsCorrupt
104 Likes, 8 Retweets
109) You guys don't have any friends, do you?
GOP: "Yeah, we do!"
Okay, I'll play along. Who's your BFF?
GOP: "False equivalence"
#ImpeachmentHearings #ImpeachmentDay #TrumpIsCorrupt
96 Likes, 14 Retweets
110) Dear GOP:
Your child gets shot & killed. Video has proven the defendant is guilty of this horrific crime, but the judge & defense decide to not allow the prosecution to present any evidence nor call any witnesses. You're the judge & defense in this scenario.
#TrumpsRemovalTrial
83 Likes, 24 Retweets
111) Depositions were attended by 100 members of Congress (50 Dems, 50 Reps)
GOP: "These were secret Dem meetings in a basement!"
Bolton's book debunks Trump's defense(s)
GOP: "Let's hold a secret meeting in a basement to read it!"
#ImpeachmentTrials #Snark
68 Likes, 35 Retweets
112) Schiff: "I'm now going to speak truth, speak passionately, yet speak calmly."
Sekulow: "Oh, yeah?!? Well, LOUD NOISES! VERY LOUD NOISES! YEAH!!!"
#ImpeachmentHearings #TrumpIsGuilty #Trump #Snark
80 Likes, 19 Retweets
113) ...and there we have it - the Trump lawyers are speaking out against divisiveness. Have you met your client?
#ImpeachmentDay #ImpeachmentHearings #TrumpIsCorrupt
79 Likes, 19 Retweets
113) God, Chris Matthews is such a (fill-in-the-blank) sometimes. Why in the world is he still on MSNBC?
#ImpeachmentTrials
90 Likes, 8 Retweets
115) GOP: "Schiff did okay until he told the world about the president threatening us again. Due to this, we're going to give in to the threat. He wanted moral courage? Well, here it is!"
#ImpeachTrump #Snark
70 Likes, 25 Retweets
116) Trump: "To honor my African-American history month, I'm now going to ask you all for your birth certificates."
#SOTU #Snark
77 Likes, 17 Retweets
116) Headline: "Senate Recesses For Dinner Break During Impeachment Trial"
Hopefully all the GOPers eat plenty of crow.
#ImpeachmentTrial #GOPCoverup
80 Likes, 14 Retweets
116) Jay Sekulow speaks a lot of nonsense. ...and other nonsense.
#ImpeachmentTrial #TrumpIsGuilty
84 Likes, 10 Retweets
119) Trump gives away free stuff while criticizing Dems for wanting to give away free stuff, all while he continually/unashamedly showcases to the world that which got him impeached in the first place: "I'll give your kid this scholarship, but you have to do me a favor."
#SOTU #Snark
72 Likes, 20 Retweets
119) "There were more people at my inauguration than were alive that day. True story. True story, folks."
#LiesTrumpHasTold #Snark
84 Likes, 8 Retweets
121) Philbin: "Removing Trump would go against any kind of Democratic legitimacy."
What, like being rewarded the presidency after losing by 3 million votes?
#ImpeachedForLife #TrumpIsGuilty
76 Likes, 15 Retweets
122) If this were a murder trial...
Dems: "Watch this video. The defendant admits to killing the mime unicyclist. These next clips are of witnesses saying they saw this particular person killing UniBozo."
Reps: "They're just wasting our time. They've got nothing."
#TrumpsRemovalTrial
73 Likes, 16 Retweets
123) Sekulow: "You can't impeach a president on an unsourced allegation!"
The leak didn't come out until after he was impeached, slick, so it would have been impossible for him to have been impeached due to the leak. I think you're mixing up impeachment with removal.
#ImpeachedForLife
74 Likes, 14 Retweets
123) GOPers like to claim we're obsessed with Obama. Well, they're the ones always talking about him!
#ImpeachmentDay #impeachment #IMPOTUS
79 Likes, 9 Retweets
125) Trump: "We must stay true to the Constitution. I've personally never read it, but I hear good things, the best things. You can't spell 'con' without 'Constitution.' Period."
#SOTU #Snark
70 Likes, 16 Retweets
126) Every time a Trump lawyer makes a defense of the "president" today, I just want to blurt out, "John Bolton!"
#TrumpIsGuilty #ImpeachmentHearings
#BoltonBombshell
70 Likes, 14 Retweets
127) GOP: "Democrats asked the president if he wanted to be involved in the House hearings and he said no. Therefore Democrats didn't allow the president to be a part of the House hearings."
#ImpeachmentTrial #Snark
60 Likes, 23 Retweets
128) Is that a Ben Stein impersonator talking right now or did I just not get enough sleep last night?
#KennethStarr #TrumpIsGuilty #ImpeachAndRemove
69 Likes, 13 Retweets
129) Dems speak the harsh truth.
GOP: "Dear Chief Justice Roberts,
Was that really called for? Why are they being so mean? Please make them stop!"
Trump threatens GOPers if they vote against him.
GOP: "Dear Chief Justice Roberts,
Isn't he just the sweetest?"
#ImpeachTrump #Snark
61 Likes, 20 Retweets
130) Chief Justice Roberts: "The senator from Kentucky is recognized."
Rand Paul: "I send a question to the desk."
Roberts: "Like hell, you will!"
#ImpeachmentHearings #Trump #Snark
65 Likes, 15 Retweets
131) Trump: "Saturday is the Death Valley of ratings! So keep it short and let's pick things back up on Monday with the most boring man in recorded history! I'm such a stable genius, folks!"
#KennethStarr #TrumpIsCorrupt #ImpeachmentDay #Snark
67 Likes, 12 Retweets
132) I find it funny that GOPers keep talking about calling on Schiff to testify. Really?!? That guy shreds you every single time! So go ahead! You'll look like this when all is said and done...
#GOPCoverup
61 Likes, 15 Retweets
133) If they thought the blue wave in 2018 was bad, that'll be nothing compared to the blue tsunami which will hit them in 2020. It's time to unite, fight, and vote these greedy traitorous tyrants out of office!
#ImpeachmentTrialSham #VoteBlueToSaveAmerica
56 Likes, 18 Retweets
134) What McConnell & 50 other GOP Senators did today was betray their country and they'll pay come November 3rd. Their ridiculously short-sighted vision of denying the pursuance of evidence and acquitting Donald Trump will come back to haunt them.
#ImpeachmentTrialSham
56 Likes, 16 Retweets
135) White House: "Bolton needs to delete top secret classified information before his book can be published."
Translation: "As Trump has said previously, 'I'm f*cked.'"
#BoltonBombshell #TrumpIsGuilty #ImpeachedForLife
58 Likes, 13 Retweets
136) If this were a criminal trial...
GOP: "Okay, we got through the opening statements. Can we go home now? You know he's not guilty, right, guys? We paid you good to vote that way. Alright, I think we're done here. This was a totally legitimate trial."
#ImpeachmentTrial #Snark
48 Likes, 20 Retweets
137) Trump: "Global warming is a Chinese hoax, but the warming temperatures is the only way to destroy the Chinese virus."
#coronavirus #Snark
47 Likes, 20 Retweets
138) Philbin: "Not ending a trial after both sides give their opening statements sets a dangerous precedent."
#ImpeachmentTrial #impeachment #Snark
50 Likes, 15 Retweets
138) #TrumpDefense: "What is quid pro quo? Trump isn't guilty of quid pro quo. Okay, so he's guilty of quid pro quo, but all presidents use quid pro quo. All quid pros are the same. Not all quid pro quos are the same, but illegal quid pro quos are rare. Period."
#impeachment #Snark
51 Likes, 14 Retweets
140) #TrumpDefense: "What this really comes down to is, should investigations be illegal?"
Eh, no. If a person hires a hitman to kill another and plans it via a phone call featuring coded language, are you then going to say, "Should talking on the phone be illegal?"
#impeachment
55 Likes, 9 Retweets
141) Sekulow: "Democrats will never be satisfied with the fairness of this trial. Most of the jury has serious involvement with the defense team & defendant. He's threatened them. Their jobs rely on voting to acquit him. If that's not fair, I don't know what is."
#TrumpIsGuilty #Snark
42 Likes, 19 Retweets
142) Cipollone: "Projection. False equivalence. Red herring. False dilemma. Ad hominem. Straw man. Repeat."
#ImpeachmentTrial #TrumpIsGuilty #Snark
48 Likes, 15 Retweets
143) Schiff: "For the final amendment, I'd like for everyone to go on record on whether or not they like Republican George W. Bush-appointed Chief Justice Roberts."
Sekulow: "No offense, Mr. Chief Justice, but I vote that you kinda suck."
#GOPCoverup #Snark
46 Likes, 15 Retweets
144) Did Trump just talk about being pro-American? Vladimir Putin butt-kisser says what?
#SOTU
53 Likes, 7 Retweets
145) My Monday #ImpeachmentTrial prediction
#TrumpDefense: "Everyone's talking about what John Bolton's written. You know what they're not talking about? His moustache. You know who else had a moustache? Hitler."
#BoltonBombshell #Snark
47 Likes, 14 Retweets
146) BREAKING NEWS: "All Congressional Democrats have scheduled immediate chiropractor appointments due to constantly shaking their heads during Trump's speech tonight"
#SOTU #Snark
50 Likes, 8 Retweets
147) Philbin: "This is upside down. Unprecedented. Unprecedented, I tell you!"
No, it's unprecedented that a United States "president" doesn't want the American people to determine elections. It's unprecedented he's in love with foreign dictators. He's upside down.
#ImpeachedForLife
43 Likes, 14 Retweets
147) The GOP puts the "liar" in "trial."
#GOPCoverup #ImpeachmentTrial
46 Likes, 11 Retweets
149) Cipollone: "When a woman wants to divorce her husband after he cheats on her, she's cheating on him!"
#ImpeachmentHearings #TrumpIsGuilty #Snark
46 Likes, 10 Retweets
150) The story of the tortoise and the hare. The hare may be naturally quicker on its feet than the tortoise, but as Mitch McConnell is displaying, no one can lie at the pace of a tortoise. A giant talking Cheeto is the lone exception.
#ImpeachmentDay
45 Likes, 10 Retweets
150) "I read a book once. It had words, believe me!"
#LiesTrumpHasTold #Snark
49 Likes, 6 Retweets
152) Philbin: "The pause between when the robber told the bankers to give him the money and when the police showed up at the bank was insignificant, which means Trump shouldn't be removed."
#impeachment #TrumpIsGuilty #Snark
45 Likes, 9 Retweets
152) Quoting Sarah Palin for the first and last time: "All of 'em."
#LiesTrumpHasTold
46 Likes, 8 Retweets
154) Trump: "We are doing numbers."
Let me guess, they're underage...
#SOTU
41 Likes, 12 Retweets
154) Trump: "Some people find God in love. Others find God in giving. I find God in Two Corinthians."
#SOTU #Snark
46 Likes, 7 Retweets
156) #TrumpDefense: "The evidence just isn't there to remove the president from office."
Dems: "So let's allow for documents and witnesses for the purpose of collecting more evidence."
Trump Defense: "No. The defense rests, your honor."
#ImpeachmentHearings #TrumpIsGuilty #Snark
41 Likes, 11 Retweets
157) Have you heard of the Jackson 5?
Trump: "Of course. Janet, Michael, Andrew..."
Sure. Have you heard their song, "ABC"?
Trump: "Heard it? I practically wrote it!"
Oh? So what are the lyrics to the chorus?
Trump: "A, B, C, it's easy as 1, 2, 6."
#WorldWarSix #Trump #Snark
42 Likes, 8 Retweets
158) GOP Senators: "We're going to compare this to a criminal trial and then vote against witnesses, because we made up our minds before the trial started. Like we said, this is just like a fair, legitimate criminal trial."
#impeachment #TrumpIsGuilty #Snark
38 Likes, 10 Retweets
158) A candy heart, which says, "Grab 'Em By the P*ssy"
#MAGAValentinesGifts
45 Likes, 3 Retweets
160) What I imagine Zeldin was like in school:
"What are two cities in New York? I'll give you one - Albany. Lee?"
Why don't you ask someone else?
"So you don't know?"
Yeah, I know.
"So what is it? Would you like a multiple choice?"
What's that?
"Nevermind."
#TrumpIsGuilty
41 Likes, 6 Retweets
161) Sekulow: "If a person gets hired for a job and he goes on to kill 5 people, rob 2 banks, and rape the Easter Bunny, it'd do a disservice to the person who hired him, to fire him."
#ImpeachedForLife #TrumpIsGuilty #Trump #Snark
33 Likes, 12 Retweets
161) #TrumpDefense: "Impeachment isn't supposed to be partisan, but since all Congressional Republicans have undergone operations to have their heads permanently implanted in our client's tuchus, it is, and that's just wrong."
#ImpeachmentTrials #ImpeachmentDay #TrumpIsGuilty #Snark
37 Likes, 8 Retweets
163) Trump doesn't have any friends. People who have known/worked with him know damn well he's rotten to the core, and that it'll likely be in their best interests to record conversations with him. Oh, but like he's said, he doesn't know any of them...
#TrumpIsGuilty
35 Likes, 9 Retweets
164) #TrumpDefenseTeam: "All quid pro quos are the same, so since they're common in politics, all must be legal. If Trump offered $1 million to have someone shot on 5th Ave., this would be as legal as him offering a sack of marbles for a baseball card."
#Impeachment #Snark
32 Likes, 9 Retweets
164) #TrumpDefense: "We're now going to read to you a biography we just wrote about Richard Nixon. It's called, 'One Giant Dick.'"
#ImpeachmentTrials #ImpeachmentDay #TrumpIsGuilty #Snark
37 Likes, 4 Retweets
164) "I know more about ISIS than the generals do, believe me! For example, it's not pronounced 'eye-sis.' That's fake news right there. Crooked Billy Clinton actually had it right when he asked what is was. ISIS is 'iz iz,' not 'eye-sis.'"
#LiesTrumpHasTold #Snark
37 Likes, 4 Retweets
167) Wow, settle down there, GOPers. Hey Elvis, how would you describe these Republican lawyers?
#GOPCoverup #ImpeachmentHearings
35 Likes, 4 Retweets
167) Deep Thoughts with Jay Sekulow
Sekulow: "There is not a manuscript in the book."
#impeachment #ImpeachmentTrial #TrumpIsGuilty
38 Likes, 1 Retweet
169) Trump: "Let me tell you a powerful story about a baby. Because of this story, no woman should have the right to choose what to do with their bodies after they get knocked up."
#SOTU #Snark
28 Likes, 9 Retweets
169) Trump: :: sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff ::
GOPers:
#SOTU #Snark
32 Likes, 5 Retweets
171) Dershowitz: "Every single one of our presidents should have been impeached & removed, yet no one has been removed, which means Trump shouldn't be. In the 230 years since Washington was president, nothing has changed here, so we should treat DT the same as GW."
#Impeachment #Snark
28 Likes, 8 Retweets
171) Oh, so I was wrong. Trump can't count to 3.
#WorldWarSix #Trump #TrumpIsGuilty
31 Likes, 5 Retweets
173) #TrumpDefense: "If a person has a dual motive - one public and one personal - the public one overrides the personal. That's basic law and basic math. One positive and one negative makes a positive. Again, basic law and basic math."
#impeachment #ImpeachedForLife #Snark
26 Likes, 9 Retweets
173) A greeting card which reads:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Knock the crap out of 'em,
Then I'll give you a hamberder too.
#MAGAValentinesGifts
31 Likes, 4 Retweets
175) GOP: "Debunked conspiracy. Alternative fact. Bumper-sticker slogan. Chain-email myth. Quote the infamous 'this one guy.' TMZ rumor. Constitution misquote. A gas station-stall love note. Repeat."
#impeachment #ShamTrial #Snark
29 Likes, 5 Retweets
175) "Nobody respects women more than I do, believe me. To show this, often times, without their consent, I grab 'em by the pus*y. So respectful. So so respectful."
#LiesTrumpHasTold #Snark
31 Likes, 3 Retweets
177) A purple heart which reads, "Bone Spurs"
#MAGAValentinesGifts
25 Likes, 7 Retweets
177) Toobin: "Look, if the impeachment trial were football, Republicans would have started with a touchdown lead, with no time remaining. This means they're winning and because they outplayed the Democrats."
#ImpeachmentHearings #Snark
27 Likes, 5 Retweets
179) Angry Sekulow's head is about to explode in 3, 2, 1...
#ImpeachmentTrial #TrumpIsGuilty
27 Likes, 4 Retweets
180) Spray tan-scented roses
#MAGAValentinesGifts
23 Likes, 7 Retweets
181) I vote that any time Patrick Philbin is called on to answer a question, Regis takes his place.
#ImpeachedForLife #TrumpIsGuilty
28 Likes, 1 Retweet
182) Pompeo: "'Toe-may-toe,' 'Toe-ma-toe.' 'Bangladesh,' 'Belarus.'"
#PompeoMeltdown #Snark
22 Likes, 6 Retweets
182) Sekulow: "House Democrats had three law professors testify and Republicans had one. If we were to balance that in the Senate, for every Democratic witness, Republicans would get four, because math."
#ImpeachmentHearing #TrumpIsGuilty #Snark
25 Likes, 3 Retweets
184) Trump: "He (Musk) does good at rockets."
...and Trump "does good at" English.
#Trump
20 Likes, 6 Retweets
185) Raskin: "Let's stand back for a moment and try to see the whole forest. How many of you are into basketball? Any Bulls fans? Okay, good. So, in the '90s, do you remember how good they were? Well, Michael Jordan was a very minor player in their success."
#ImpeachmentTrials #Snark
20 Likes, 4 Retweets
186) A box of covfefes
#MAGAValentinesGifts
21 Likes, 2 Retweets
187) The book, "The Oranges of Oranges: Where Oranges Came From"
#MAGAValentinesGifts
18 Likes, 4 Retweets
188) A collection of blank maps and Sharpies
#MAGAValentinesGifts
18 Likes, 3 Retweets
189) If today's "trial" were a television show, it'd be Perry Mason (Dems) vs. Brick Tamland (Reps).
#TrumpsRemovalTrial #ImpeachmentTrial #GOPCoverup
16 Likes, 4 Retweets
190) Given how they seem to envision trials (no evidence, no witnesses), I imagine if they were to set up a basketball game, GOPers would say, "Okay, here's how it's going to be. 5-on-5. A court and two poles. No rim. No basketball. Mano-y-mano. ...and go!"
#ImpeachedForLife #Snark
16 Likes, 2 Retweets
191) A shirt which reads, "My Daughter Is More Bangable Than Yours"
#MAGAValentinesGifts
13 Likes, 2 Retweets
191) Trump: "People nicknamed Jimmy Hoffa by their neighbor's BFF's second cousin have higher paying jobs than ever before!"
#SOTU #Snark
15 Likes, 0 Retweets
193) Sekulow: "The House Managers have it wrong. In a criminal trial, if the defense calls a witness the prosecution doesn't like after the prosecution makes its opening statement, that's not fair; that's not right; and that's what Democrats are trying to do."
#ImpeachedForLife #Snark
12 Likes, 1 Retweet
194) Philbin's reaction to the last two questions...
#impeachment #TrumpIsGuilty
11 Likes, 1 Retweet
194) A teddy bear holding a heart that says, "I Heart Put(in)"
#MAGAValentinesGifts
11 Likes, 1 Retweet
194) Nothing, unless you get to use other people's money to purchase them.
#MAGAValentinesGifts
11 Likes, 1 Retweet
Totals: 41,047 Likes, 11,987 Retweets (Averages of 209.4 Likes, 61.2 Retweets)
1) Dems: "We're impeaching Donald J. Trump for obstructing Congress."
Reps: "He didn't obstruct Congress. Prove that he obstructed Congress."
Trump today: "Yeah, I'm obstructing Congress."
Dems: "You see?!?"
Reps: "That's irrelevant."
#TrumpImpeachmentTrial #Snark
3K Likes, 1.1K Retweets
2) Trump: "Oh, look, shifty Schiff! Pencil-neck Schiff!"
No, it's more like Adam "Continually Kicks The Ever-Living" Schiff "Out Of Republicans."
#ImpeachmentTrial #TrumpIsGuilty
2.8K Likes, 726 Retweets
3) Headline: "Trump allegedly said 'take her out' in reference to former Ukraine ambassador"
GOP: "We'll need to hear the tape."
The tape gets released.
GOP: "What if he was just being nice and suggesting to take her out to a Waffle House?"
#TrumpTapes #Snark
2.3K Likes, 612 Retweets
4) Amazing. It bothers the GOP more when a black man is President of the United States than when a white "president" is in bed with a foreign adversary; openly idolizes murderous dictators; & seeks to destroy any semblance of laws, principles, and democracy.
#ShamTrial #GOPCoverup
1.5K Likes, 584 Retweets
5) Graham and Cruz: "Let's ask Shifty Schiff a question."
Schiff schools them for five minutes.
...and the GOP says it wants Schiff to testify? Ha!
#ImpeachedForLife #Trump
1.6K Likes, 404 Retweets
6) If this were the Charles Manson trial...
Dems: "We want to call Charles Manson to the stand."
Reps: "Um, no, we're not gonna let you do that. Well, unless... Okay, how about this? You can call Charles Manson if we get to call Marilyn Manson."
#TrumpImpeachmentTrial #Snark
1.4K Likes, 244 Retweets
7) Dems: "No one is above the law, including the President of the United States!"
Reps: "No one is above the law if we completely disregard the law & make laws meaningless. From this day forth, there shall be no laws, unless you're gay, black, or Muslim."
#GOPCoverup #impeachment
1K Likes, 374 Retweets
8) Trump's past week:
- Allegedly says to take Ukraine ambassador out.
- Video proves it.
- Allegedly threatens Senate GOPers.
- Threatens Adam Schiff
- John Bolton confirms his Ukraine defense is BS.
Do you REALLY want to stand behind this guy, GOP?
#BoltonBombshell #TrumpIsGuilty
973 Likes, 359 Retweets
9) Dershowitz: "If a Democrat bribed a foreign ally by withholding military funding already approved by Congress, in exchange for announcing the investigation of a debunked conspiracy of a possible Republican opponent, would you want him impeached?"
Yes, next question.
#impeachment
805 Likes, 224 Retweets
10) The GOP isn't bothered by:
- Lies
- Adultery
- Sexual assault/harassment
- Bribery/extortion
- Fraud/money laundering
- Sucking up to dictator adversaries
- Gun violence
- Debt/deficit
- Poverty
- -isms
Rip a piece of paper, though, and they go bat-sh*t crazy!
#SOTU #NancyPelosi
674 Likes, 271 Retweets
11) If Trump shot someone on 5th Ave.
Schiff: "Think about it. The President of the United States shot someone, with a gun, and literally has their blood on his hands."
GOP: "Whoa! Schiff was fine until that 'blood-on-his-hands' bit. That's going way too far!"
#HeadsOnAPike #Snark
678 Likes, 201 Retweets
12) I seriously think Nancy Pelosi is about to grab Trump by the head and bash it against the podium at any moment...
#SOTU
714 Likes, 82 Retweets
White House: "Bolton must delete top secret classified information from his book before publishing."
13) Oh, but I thought Trump said the book was full of lies...
#BoltonBombshell #TrumpIsGuilty #ImpeachedForLife
544 Likes, 182 Retweets
14) Trump lawyers: "While the firefighters put out the fire and saved lives in the process, they didn't slide down the pole properly, so they shouldn't be credited for the saved lives."
#ImpeachedForLife #TrumpDefense #Snark
550 Likes, 144 Retweets
15) Can we please stop calling Congresspeople courageous for simply doing their jobs? I give Senators: Romney, Manchin, Jones, and Sinema credit for doing what was right, but that's where I'll stop. Morality should always trump job security.
#ImpeachedPresident
509 Likes, 112 Retweets
16) I see Trumpsters have got the name of their alleged whistleblower trending. Can't Twitter do something about this? They're literally placing a person's life in danger. They're traitors and about as pro-life as Jeffrey Dahmer was a vegetarian.
#Trump #ImpeachmentHearing
468 Likes, 139 Retweets
17) Fact-checking Eric Herschmann:
- Trump's current approval rating is 42.9%. (https://projects.fivethirtyeight.com/trump-approval-ratings/)
- Approval of impeachment is at 50.2%. (https://projects.fivethirtyeight.com/impeachment-polls/)
- He's underwater in 35 states. (https://morningconsult.com/tracking-trump-2/)
You're full of crap.
#ImpeachmentHearings #TrumpIsGuilty
379 Likes, 204 Retweets
18) Schiff: "Congressional Republicans have been part of a cover-up."
GOP: "Hey, that's not nice!"
Get used to it, snowflakes, for if you don't vote to proceed with documents & witnesses, that may be the nicest thing anyone says about you traitors.
#BoltonBombshell #TrumpIsGuilty
423 Likes, 147 Retweets
19) Cruz: "I'm going to vote no on first-hand witnesses, because if prosecution can't prove their case without first-hand witnesses, they shouldn't be allowed to try and prove their case with first-hand witnesses."
So says a first-rate traitor and dumba$$.
#IMPOTUS #Snark
442 Likes, 116 Retweets
20) Trump: "I grab women by the p*ssy."
Collins:
Trump: "Knock the crap out of 'em."
Collins:
Trump: "I'm gonna bribe an ally to undermine our democracy."
Collins:
Nadler: "I'm going to speak honestly, but not very nicely."
Collins: "That's going too far!"
#ImpeachmentTrial
400 Likes, 157 Retweets
21) I'm just waiting for Trump to say, "John Bolton? Who's that? Never met him. Wait, didn't he sing that one song - 'When a Man Grabs a Woman'? Great song. Great song. 'Steel Balls' was a good one too. Underrated, bigly."
#BoltonBombshell #TrumpIsGuilty #Snark
423 Likes, 108 Retweets
22) Ted Bundy: "Yeah, I killed all those people!"
GOP: "The charge is murder in the first degree. Did he ever use the specific word 'murder' or talk about any kind of degrees? No, so he's not guilty."
#ShamTrial #GOPCoverup #Snark
402 Likes, 114 Retweets
23) DT lawyers: "Everything the House managers said was true, but let's pretend for a second that it wasn't. Let's pretend for a moment we live in a country called the United States of Alternativa, the earth is an octagon, and we are more honest than Pinocchio."
#TrumpDefense #Snark
393 Likes, 114 Retweets
24) "I know words; I have the best words, believe me! Covfefe, hamberder, word oranges, unpresidented, anonamoose, Nambia, Tim Apple, my wife Melanie, the United Shursh, the 7/11 attacks, smocking gun, world peach, and honered, bigly."
#LiesTrumpHasTold #Snark
386 Likes, 92 Retweets
25) BREAKING NEWS: "All of the GOP attorneys are well on their way to hell, especially Sekulow, Cipillone, and well, sh*t, all of them"
#GOPCoverup
379 Likes, 80 Retweets
26) I swear Cipillone just said this is about overturning the popular will of the voters. Psst, Trump lost the popular vote by 3 million...
#GOPCoverup
354 Likes, 87 Retweets
27) Cipollone: "This is an election year. Let the voters decide. Trust the American people. Once again, after we ask for foreign aid in rigging the election, after we suppress votes, after we lie constantly, let's let the voters decide."
#ImpeachmentHearings #TrumpIsGuilty #Snark
295 Likes, 129 Retweets
28) It pretty much tells you all you need to know about Trumpsters when #TakeHerOut and #MarchForLife are trending alongside one another.
318 Likes, 100 Retweets
29) #TrumpDefense on why they only used 2 hours today: "This showed we didn't need long to prove our case."
No, it just showed you didn't have a case to begin with...
#ImpeachmentHearings
331 Likes, 85 Retweets
30) ...and there we have it. Donald Trump provides Rush Limbaugh with a Presidential Medal of Freedom. If you're a disloyal, drug-addled, lying bigot, you can be rewarded with a Presidential Medal of Freedom too!
#SOTU
289 Likes, 80 Retweets
31) Dear #TrumpDefense:
Do you really want to go after someone for lacking job experience? I mean, really?
#ImpeachmentTrials #HunterBiden
292 Likes, 70 Retweets
32) GOP: "If Donald Trump isn't transparent, we don't know what is. Tax returns? Secret. White House 'transcript?' Incomplete. Blocking witnesses from testifying? Most certainly. Testifying under oath? Not a chance. The most transparent president in history!"
#ImpeachmentTrial #Snark
258 Likes, 93 Retweets
33) Trump: "The best is yet to come."
Yeah, after you exit the White House in cuffs.
#SOTU
296 Likes, 53 Retweets
34) Trump: "Oh, the size of my penis? Believe me, I've got no problem there; I can guarantee it. I can guarantee it."
Stormy: "Picture the smallest mushroom you've ever seen. Yeah, it's even smaller than that."
#LiesTrumpHasTold #Snark
259 Likes, 72 Retweets
35) Dear Trumpsters:
What's more likely, everyone left around the same time you did in the morning, knowing you're running late for work, wanting to get you fired, or you forgot to set your alarm? This is no witch-hunt. It's no hoax. Donald Trump is guilty. Period.
#BoltonMustTestify
258 Likes, 61 Retweets
36) Like 75%+ of Americans, I'm extremely disappointed with the Senate's vote to block documents and witnesses in the #ImpeachmentTrialSham. However, the information is going to come out. Lev Parnas is going to continue providing clips/pictures. John Bolton's book will be released.
246 Likes, 71 Retweets
37) Dear #TrumpDefense:
Just because you label something as a "fact" doesn't make it so. If you were to say, "Two plus two equals 7; the capital of New Jersey is Nambia; & Papa John's makes the world's best pizza. These are facts.," that doesn't make them facts.
#ImpeachmentHearings
246 Likes, 62 Retweets
38) BREAKING NEWS: "A jury, a majority of which works for the defendant and has ties to the defense team, rules the defendant as not guilty, in a totally impartial fashion"
#ImpeachedPresident #Snark
231 Likes, 70 Retweets
39) #TrumpDefense: "If this were a Democratic president, would you vote to impeach and remove?"
If this were a Democratic president, would you vote for documents and witnesses?
#ImpeachmentTrial #TrumpIsGuilty
234 Likes, 54 Retweets
40) House managers: "Let's find out the whole truth. Documents & witnesses."
Defense attorneys: "The only way we can find out the whole truth is through documents & witnesses."
House: "We're glad you agree. So are you going to vote for it?"
Defense: "Uh, no"
#TrumpDefense #Snark
211 Likes, 75 Retweets
41) Did #KennethStarr seriously just try defending Trump by saying "one person, one vote"? Yeah, tell that to the electoral college, as your client lost by 3 million...
#TrumpIsGuilty #ImpeachedForever
197 Likes, 75 Retweets
42) Withhold military aid during war to rig an election
GOP: "Patriots!"
Kneel during the anthem
GOP: "Traitors!"
#TrumpsRemovalTrial #GOPCoverup
187 Likes, 76 Retweets
43) Philbin: "If you're innocent, it's perfectly understandable to not want the truth to come out. It actually makes sense. Information would just make you look more innocent, and who wants that?"
#ImpeachmentHearings #Trump #Snark
196 Likes, 61 Retweets
44) Then
Dershowitz: "There doesn't need to be a crime to impeach a president if that person corrupts the office, abuses trust, & poses a great danger to our liberty."
Now
Dershowitz: "What I said before, just make it the opposite."
What happened?
Jeffrey Epstein.
#Impeachment
189 Likes, 69 Retweets
45) Donald Trump is currently lying at the highest frequency ever recorded.
#SOTU
191 Likes, 60 Retweets
46) When #HookersForJesus, #TrumpBudget, and #ReaperOfDeath are all trending, they seem oddly connected.
The Reaper of Death announces the Trump budget, which includes Hookers for Jesus. Yeah, I think that works.
173 Likes, 76 Retweets
46) #MarshaBlackburn insults a veteran, yet GOPers are still offended by anthem-kneeling? Okay then...
#GOPTraitors #TrumpIsGuilty
178 Likes, 71 Retweets
46) When over half of the jury essentially works for the defense, no matter what said jury decides, he will never be exonerated.
#ImpeachedAndNotExonerated
192 Likes, 57 Retweets
46) Trump: "I don't know Lev Parnas, but know he's a con-man."
How do you know he's a con-man if you don't know him?
#ImpeachmentTrial #TrumpIsGuilty
198 Likes, 51 Retweets
50) Dems: "We're going to talk for 45 minutes, reading notes we took from months of research we did."
Reps: "We're going to see how many times we can say 'unconstitutional' in a 45-second span."
#ShamTrial #GOPCoverup #Snark
193 Likes, 55 Retweets
51) Trump's day so far:
- Further obstructs Congress for the world to see
- Claims if he's reelected, he'll seek to cut funds to Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid
- Says Elon Musk is "good at rockets"
- Declares Americans invented the wheel
...and it's only 2:30.
#ImpeachTrump
155 Likes, 88 Retweets
52) Bondi: "So, like, there was this thing, and this thing was like totally bad. I mean, fer sure, you know? So like, I mean, like, yeah, you know? Totally, right? So yeah. Thanks."
#ImpeachmentHearings #Trump #TrumpIsGuilty #Snark
183 Likes, 47 Retweets
53) BREAKING NEWS: "Five minutes in and Trump has lied 127 times"
#SOTU #Snark
186 Likes, 56 Retweets
54) Okay, so I have a serious question. I have my television in widescreen and it's unable to fit Jay Sekulow's growing nose during his constant lies. Is there a widescreen x 4.5 million option? Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
#ImpeachmentTrial #TrumpIsGuilty
206 Likes, 33 Retweets
55) GOP: "What DT did was wrong, but there's an election coming up."
He was caught trying to rig said election. Do you really think he's not going to continue trying? If someone attempts murder, are you going to say, "Let him be free for 10 months & see what happens"?
#TrumpIsGuilty
174 Likes, 63 Retweets
56) Congratulations to Pat Cipollone. His recent claim marks the 100,000th lie uttered by a GOP speaker today. Wait, there's 100,001. Now 100,002; 100,003. Crap, I better post this!
#ImpeachmentTrial #GOPCoverup
170 Likes, 56 Retweets
56) Jay Sekulow's Trump defense preview:
"We will prove that Elvis is alive and owns his own Yahtzee bar called 'All Shook Up;' that Hillary Clinton was the Loch Ness monster in a past life; & that you can't spell 'demon' without 'Democrat.'"
#ImpeachTrump #Snark
188 Likes, 38 Retweets
56) "Kenneth Starr is like watching paint dry."
Nah, watching paint dry is way more fun.
#KennethStarr #ImpeachedForever #TrumpIsGuiltyAF
197 Likes, 29 Retweets
59) The Trumps complaining about nepotism would be like Jeffrey Dahmer complaining about carnivores.
#ImpeachmentTrials #ImpeachmentDay #TrumpIsGuilty
174 Likes, 50 Retweets
60) Dear #TrumpDefenseTeam:
Stop lying about the origins of the Steele Dossier.
"Conservative Free Beacon originally funded firm that created Trump-Russia dossier" - http://politi.co/2iDXLp9
#ImpeachmentHearing #TrumpIsGuilty
143 Likes, 77 Retweets
61) They don't believe in a trial having documents or witnesses, yet believe in endangering the livelihood of a whistleblower by outing his/her name. Today's Republican Party, folks.
#ImpeachmentHearings #Trump #TrumpIsGuilty
147 Likes, 72 Retweets
62) Hillary Clinton. Joe Biden. Now Barack Obama. When will the #TrumpDefense start blaming their client's crimes on Lincoln, Washington, and President Camacho?
#impeachment #TrumpIsCorrupt
171 Likes, 45 Retweets
63) GOP: "It's all hearsay with your witnesses so far. Where are the first-hand accounts?"
Dems: "Let's call them."
GOP: "No. ...and where is the evidence?"
Dems: "Let's allow for documents."
GOP: "No. You see? You have no case!"
#ImpeachmentTrial #TrumpIsGuilty
154 Likes, 56 Retweets
64) With all of these misspellings, I predict that soon #MySharonaVirus will start trending.
#coronovavirus
173 Likes, 35 Retweets
65) It's amazing to look back at the Access Hollywood tape and think about how it parallels to today. The GOP will essentially let Trump do anything, even when he assaults the US Constitution, rule of law, and any sense of decency we once had.
#ImpeachedForLife #TrumpIsGuilty
149 Likes, 56 Retweets
66) Sekulow: "Schiff said yesterday that his father told him, in order to understand someone, you have to walk in someone else's shoes. So I now ask you today to walk in Donald Trump's shoes."
No thanks. For how dirty that guy is, those shoes are probably evidence.
#Trump
169 Likes, 39 Retweets
67) Dems: "We believe warnings should be issued before homes get struck by an F5 tornado."
Reps: "But why? Why can't we wait til a week after the tornado hits to issue warnings? That'd be the most rationale thing to do."
#TrumpsRemovalTrial #GOPCoverup
152 Likes, 50 Retweets
68) Cipollone: "President Trump is true to his word."
Sure, if that word is bullsh*t...
#GOPCoverup #ImpeachmentDay
157 Likes, 38 Retweets
69) Was he proven to be guilty beyond a reasonable doubt?
Alexander: "Yes"
So how do you vote?
Alexander: "Not guilty"
#TrumpIsGuilty #ImpeachmentHearing
#Snark
147 Likes, 44 Retweets
70) Trump: "We're gonna build a big, beautiful wall, one the likes of you've never seen. It's gonna be so strong, so perfect, unless there's a light breeze. Then it might blow over. Like I said, so big, so strong."
#Trump #Snark
152 Likes, 36 Retweets
71) Dersh: "What if a Dem. president promised a sack of marbles to Australia only if they sent every US citizen a picture of a koala? Wouldn't that be legal? So what's the difference between that and bribing Ukraine & endangering their lives for Biden dirt?"
#ImpeachedForLife #Snark
147 Likes, 37 Retweets
72) Dear GOP:
So what would your reaction be if a foreign leader threatened to withhold military funding from our troops, whom were actively at war, until you dug up dirt on his/her most likely election opponent?
#ImpeachmentTrial #GOPCoverup
135 Likes, 48 Retweets
72) I'm still waiting for a Democrat to pull a "My Cousin Vinny," as after a GOP speaker blathers, he/she responds with, "Everything that person just said is bullsh*t."
#ImpeachmentTrial #GOPCoverup
144 Likes, 39 Retweets
72) Mnuchin: "Hey Greta, you can start criticizing US environmental policies once you pass an economics class. It's about the economy, stupid!"
Hey numbnuts, if we destroy the planet, there will be no economy, stupid!
#Mnuchin #Snark
148 Likes, 35 Retweets
75) Trump figuratively rips the Constitution, Bible, and rule of law.
GOP: "Not a big deal. The man is a patriot through and through."
Pelosi rips a Trump speech.
GOP: "She should be ashamed! Impeach and remove her from office! Traitor!"
#SOTU #Snark
131 Likes, 48 Retweets
76) Purpura: "Why didn't the House managers tell you about Dr. Hill's testimony?"
Eh, it was live. Was this one of those secret televised meetings you guys keep talking about?
#TrumpIsGuilty #ImpeachmentHearings
138 Likes, 39 Retweets
77) Trump: "The only victories that matter in Washington are the victories that benefit the people."
What, like your impeachment and removal?
#SOTU
151 Likes, 25 Retweets
78) Psst, GOPers, where was this outrage after your dear leader immaturely snubbed Pelosi on a handshake?
#SOTU #RipItUpNancy
130 Likes, 41 Retweets
78) Cipollone: "Removing a president who cheated in the last election and wants to cheat in this election is cheating in and of itself."
#ImpeachmentHearings #TrumpIsGuilty #Snark
133 Likes, 38 Retweets
80) Dems: "You should read the transcript. You should watch her testimony. You should read that book, article, & listen to that interview. Then you can decide for yourself."
Reps: "We hereby propose a bill to make reading illegal."
Yeah, guess who's telling the truth...
#GOPCoverup
127 Likes, 43 Retweets
80) Bondi: "If I feel a crime has been committed, I won't start investigating it until years later. If a murder happened tomorrow, I wouldn't start the investigation until 2030 at the earliest, because that's what makes sense."
#ImpeachmentTrials #HunterBiden #Snark
132 Likes, 38 Retweets
80) Sekulow: "I'm now going to point to words on a screen I typed myself, without there being any evidence to prove as much, and then call these unproven words facts. That proves they are. Wait, what? Who asked that? Yes, I'm a lawyer!"
#TrumpIsGuilty #ImpeachedForever #Snark
138 Likes, 32 Retweets
83) It's becoming increasingly clear to me that Weird Al should parody Shaggy's song, "It Wasn't Me." It'd revolve around Donald Trump's "presidency," told from his vantage point, and be called, "Didn't Know Him."
#BoltonBombshell #TrumpIsGuilty
130 Likes, 38 Retweets
84) Trump: "I've helped establish the rule of law."
By being above it and essentially making laws meaningless? Yeah, sure...
#SOTU
133 Likes, 32 Retweets
85) It's amazing Secretary of State Pompeo mixed up Ukraine with Bangladesh, considering the two countries are between 3,600 and 3,700 miles away from one other. That'd be like mistaking Miami for Iceland.
#PompeoMeltdown #PompeoIsALiar
125 Likes, 36 Retweets
86) #TrumpDefense: "Yeah, our client is guilty, but so what? The real question needs to be, what is guilty? In essence we're asking, what is 'is?'"
#TrumpIsGuilty #ImpeachmentDay #ImpeachmentTrials #Snark
136 Likes, 20 Retweets
87) Philbin: "Hi, my name is Patrick Philbin. I'm in my 50s; I enjoy reading the CliffsNotes of Terms & Conditions; I like long tweets on the beach; and I've never been laid."
#TrumpIsGuilty #ImpeachmentTrials #Snark
129 Likes, 25 Retweets
88) There can be only one reason why the prosecution fights tooth-and-nail for evidence and witnesses to be allowed at a trial and why the defense fights equally as hard for them to be prohibited. Both sides know the defendant is guilty. Donald Trump is guilty.
#ImpeachmentTrial
106 Likes, 45 Retweets
89) The GOP has quite the gall to complain about process. Here they essentially have a majority of the jury actively rooting for the defense. The defendant is their boss. The judge is affiliated with them. If anyone has the right to complain, it's Democrats.
#ImpeachedForLife
111 Likes, 39 Retweets
90) A summary of today
Democrats: "We've given you the truth. We want more truth. Can you not handle the truth?"
Republicans: "Truth isn't truth."
#ImpeachedForever #Impeachment #TrumpIsGuilty
109 Likes, 40 Retweets
91) GOP now stands for Give 0 Phucks, for they don't give a phuck about anyone other than themselves.
#ImpeachmentTrial #GOPCoverup
119 Likes, 28 Retweets
92) If someone died via decapitation...
Trump: "He's just feeling a little disconnected. No big deal."
Cotton: "He's not dismissing the injury; he's just describing it."
#TrumpsWar #Iran #Snark
114 Likes, 24 Retweets
93) If Trump shot someone on 5th Ave. ...
#TrumpDefense: "You're trying to take away the vote of millions of people. Also, there's an election in a few months. Let the people decide. Do you really think he's going to shoot anyone else between now and then?"
#impeachment #Snark
102 Likes, 32 Retweets
94) Sekulow: "The president is not above the law, because there are no laws. Having said that, the real reason why Democrats don't think this trial is fair is the fact they didn't follow the law. Period."
#ImpeachmentHearing #TrumpIsGuilty #Snark
90 Likes, 40 Retweets
95) Alexander: "The House Managers' case was so convincing, they don't need additional witnesses to prove Trump guilty of abusing his power. He's guilty. But the people don't deserve to hear additional evidence and I'll vote to acquit."
Yeah, that'll go over well...
#TrumpIsGuilty
98 Likes, 29 Retweets
95) For how much he lies, Cipollone should really change his name to Cipinocchio.
#TrumpIsGuilty #ImpeachmentHearings
99 Likes, 28 Retweets
97) A woman who worships a man that got out of serving in a war by faking bone-spurs and is in bed with our adversary, Russia, says what?
#TrumpIsGuilty #GOPTraitors
90 Likes, 35 Retweets
98) Headline: "75% of Americans want witnesses"
GOP: "Hey, we're trying to give them what they want, but are trying to do it fairly. We'll give them John Bolton if, and only if they give us Jimmy Hoffa."
#TrumpImpeachment #Snark
96 Likes, 27 Retweets
99) "The president's case will finally be made."
Well then, that's it, for he doesn't have a case; he just is one.
#MidnightMitch
91 Likes, 31 Retweets
99) "I have the world's greatest memory. ...What? Those people I used to call my friends, the ones that once worked for me, and are now in jail? I don't recall any of them."
#LiesTrumpHasTold #Snark
99 Likes, 23 Retweets
101) Oh, here we go. The #TrumpDefenseTeam is showing clips of Democrats speaking out against removing Clinton from office in '98. Yes, because consensual blowjobs and trying to undermine our democracy is the same thing...
#IMPOTUS #ImpeachmentDay #Trump
101 Likes, 20 Retweets
102) At some point in the near future
"Never met them. Don't know them. Never heard of them." (In reference to his sons, Eric and Don, Jr.)
#LiesTrumpHasTold #Snark
96 Likes, 23 Retweets
102) Trump: "Socialism is bad. Space force is good. Be best. Build a wall. Illegal aliens are taking over. There's a ghost clapping behind me. Ressi.. Ressipossity... Ress... Whatever. Putin America first!"
#SOTU #Snark
100 Likes, 19 Retweets
104) If nothing else, this #ImpeachmentTrial has further proven the need for term limits. Instead of spending the bulk of your time worrying about the next election, you can spend your time trying to prove you deserved to be elected in the first place. #CountryOverParty
91 Likes, 27 Retweets
104) My Monday #ImpeachmentTrial prediction
#TrumpDefense: "John Bolton may have been in the same room as President Trump when he was on the phone with Zelensky, but as you can plainly see, he wears glasses, so he obviously could not hear what was being said."
#BoltonBombshell #Snark
97 Likes, 21 Retweets
106) He's glowing. Aw, he's pregnant with a Cheeto. Congratulations!
#WilliamMoon #DonaldTrump
88 Likes, 26 Retweets
107) Dems: "We want there to be witnesses and evidence, like you know, an actual trial."
Reps: "As we've always said, in a trial the defense should decide everything, including the verdict. Oh, except if the defendant is black."
#ImpeachmentTrial #Snark
88 Likes, 25 Retweets
108) I love how MSNBC seems to only be going to commercial breaks when Patrick Philbin is spewing bullsh*t, I mean talking...
#ImpeachedForLife #TrumpIsCorrupt
104 Likes, 8 Retweets
109) You guys don't have any friends, do you?
GOP: "Yeah, we do!"
Okay, I'll play along. Who's your BFF?
GOP: "False equivalence"
#ImpeachmentHearings #ImpeachmentDay #TrumpIsCorrupt
96 Likes, 14 Retweets
110) Dear GOP:
Your child gets shot & killed. Video has proven the defendant is guilty of this horrific crime, but the judge & defense decide to not allow the prosecution to present any evidence nor call any witnesses. You're the judge & defense in this scenario.
#TrumpsRemovalTrial
83 Likes, 24 Retweets
111) Depositions were attended by 100 members of Congress (50 Dems, 50 Reps)
GOP: "These were secret Dem meetings in a basement!"
Bolton's book debunks Trump's defense(s)
GOP: "Let's hold a secret meeting in a basement to read it!"
#ImpeachmentTrials #Snark
68 Likes, 35 Retweets
112) Schiff: "I'm now going to speak truth, speak passionately, yet speak calmly."
Sekulow: "Oh, yeah?!? Well, LOUD NOISES! VERY LOUD NOISES! YEAH!!!"
#ImpeachmentHearings #TrumpIsGuilty #Trump #Snark
80 Likes, 19 Retweets
113) ...and there we have it - the Trump lawyers are speaking out against divisiveness. Have you met your client?
#ImpeachmentDay #ImpeachmentHearings #TrumpIsCorrupt
79 Likes, 19 Retweets
113) God, Chris Matthews is such a (fill-in-the-blank) sometimes. Why in the world is he still on MSNBC?
#ImpeachmentTrials
90 Likes, 8 Retweets
115) GOP: "Schiff did okay until he told the world about the president threatening us again. Due to this, we're going to give in to the threat. He wanted moral courage? Well, here it is!"
#ImpeachTrump #Snark
70 Likes, 25 Retweets
116) Trump: "To honor my African-American history month, I'm now going to ask you all for your birth certificates."
#SOTU #Snark
77 Likes, 17 Retweets
116) Headline: "Senate Recesses For Dinner Break During Impeachment Trial"
Hopefully all the GOPers eat plenty of crow.
#ImpeachmentTrial #GOPCoverup
80 Likes, 14 Retweets
116) Jay Sekulow speaks a lot of nonsense. ...and other nonsense.
#ImpeachmentTrial #TrumpIsGuilty
84 Likes, 10 Retweets
119) Trump gives away free stuff while criticizing Dems for wanting to give away free stuff, all while he continually/unashamedly showcases to the world that which got him impeached in the first place: "I'll give your kid this scholarship, but you have to do me a favor."
#SOTU #Snark
72 Likes, 20 Retweets
119) "There were more people at my inauguration than were alive that day. True story. True story, folks."
#LiesTrumpHasTold #Snark
84 Likes, 8 Retweets
121) Philbin: "Removing Trump would go against any kind of Democratic legitimacy."
What, like being rewarded the presidency after losing by 3 million votes?
#ImpeachedForLife #TrumpIsGuilty
76 Likes, 15 Retweets
122) If this were a murder trial...
Dems: "Watch this video. The defendant admits to killing the mime unicyclist. These next clips are of witnesses saying they saw this particular person killing UniBozo."
Reps: "They're just wasting our time. They've got nothing."
#TrumpsRemovalTrial
73 Likes, 16 Retweets
123) Sekulow: "You can't impeach a president on an unsourced allegation!"
The leak didn't come out until after he was impeached, slick, so it would have been impossible for him to have been impeached due to the leak. I think you're mixing up impeachment with removal.
#ImpeachedForLife
74 Likes, 14 Retweets
123) GOPers like to claim we're obsessed with Obama. Well, they're the ones always talking about him!
#ImpeachmentDay #impeachment #IMPOTUS
79 Likes, 9 Retweets
125) Trump: "We must stay true to the Constitution. I've personally never read it, but I hear good things, the best things. You can't spell 'con' without 'Constitution.' Period."
#SOTU #Snark
70 Likes, 16 Retweets
126) Every time a Trump lawyer makes a defense of the "president" today, I just want to blurt out, "John Bolton!"
#TrumpIsGuilty #ImpeachmentHearings
#BoltonBombshell
70 Likes, 14 Retweets
127) GOP: "Democrats asked the president if he wanted to be involved in the House hearings and he said no. Therefore Democrats didn't allow the president to be a part of the House hearings."
#ImpeachmentTrial #Snark
60 Likes, 23 Retweets
128) Is that a Ben Stein impersonator talking right now or did I just not get enough sleep last night?
#KennethStarr #TrumpIsGuilty #ImpeachAndRemove
69 Likes, 13 Retweets
129) Dems speak the harsh truth.
GOP: "Dear Chief Justice Roberts,
Was that really called for? Why are they being so mean? Please make them stop!"
Trump threatens GOPers if they vote against him.
GOP: "Dear Chief Justice Roberts,
Isn't he just the sweetest?"
#ImpeachTrump #Snark
61 Likes, 20 Retweets
130) Chief Justice Roberts: "The senator from Kentucky is recognized."
Rand Paul: "I send a question to the desk."
Roberts: "Like hell, you will!"
#ImpeachmentHearings #Trump #Snark
65 Likes, 15 Retweets
131) Trump: "Saturday is the Death Valley of ratings! So keep it short and let's pick things back up on Monday with the most boring man in recorded history! I'm such a stable genius, folks!"
#KennethStarr #TrumpIsCorrupt #ImpeachmentDay #Snark
67 Likes, 12 Retweets
132) I find it funny that GOPers keep talking about calling on Schiff to testify. Really?!? That guy shreds you every single time! So go ahead! You'll look like this when all is said and done...
#GOPCoverup
61 Likes, 15 Retweets
133) If they thought the blue wave in 2018 was bad, that'll be nothing compared to the blue tsunami which will hit them in 2020. It's time to unite, fight, and vote these greedy traitorous tyrants out of office!
#ImpeachmentTrialSham #VoteBlueToSaveAmerica
56 Likes, 18 Retweets
134) What McConnell & 50 other GOP Senators did today was betray their country and they'll pay come November 3rd. Their ridiculously short-sighted vision of denying the pursuance of evidence and acquitting Donald Trump will come back to haunt them.
#ImpeachmentTrialSham
56 Likes, 16 Retweets
135) White House: "Bolton needs to delete top secret classified information before his book can be published."
Translation: "As Trump has said previously, 'I'm f*cked.'"
#BoltonBombshell #TrumpIsGuilty #ImpeachedForLife
58 Likes, 13 Retweets
136) If this were a criminal trial...
GOP: "Okay, we got through the opening statements. Can we go home now? You know he's not guilty, right, guys? We paid you good to vote that way. Alright, I think we're done here. This was a totally legitimate trial."
#ImpeachmentTrial #Snark
48 Likes, 20 Retweets
137) Trump: "Global warming is a Chinese hoax, but the warming temperatures is the only way to destroy the Chinese virus."
#coronavirus #Snark
47 Likes, 20 Retweets
138) Philbin: "Not ending a trial after both sides give their opening statements sets a dangerous precedent."
#ImpeachmentTrial #impeachment #Snark
50 Likes, 15 Retweets
138) #TrumpDefense: "What is quid pro quo? Trump isn't guilty of quid pro quo. Okay, so he's guilty of quid pro quo, but all presidents use quid pro quo. All quid pros are the same. Not all quid pro quos are the same, but illegal quid pro quos are rare. Period."
#impeachment #Snark
51 Likes, 14 Retweets
140) #TrumpDefense: "What this really comes down to is, should investigations be illegal?"
Eh, no. If a person hires a hitman to kill another and plans it via a phone call featuring coded language, are you then going to say, "Should talking on the phone be illegal?"
#impeachment
55 Likes, 9 Retweets
141) Sekulow: "Democrats will never be satisfied with the fairness of this trial. Most of the jury has serious involvement with the defense team & defendant. He's threatened them. Their jobs rely on voting to acquit him. If that's not fair, I don't know what is."
#TrumpIsGuilty #Snark
42 Likes, 19 Retweets
142) Cipollone: "Projection. False equivalence. Red herring. False dilemma. Ad hominem. Straw man. Repeat."
#ImpeachmentTrial #TrumpIsGuilty #Snark
48 Likes, 15 Retweets
143) Schiff: "For the final amendment, I'd like for everyone to go on record on whether or not they like Republican George W. Bush-appointed Chief Justice Roberts."
Sekulow: "No offense, Mr. Chief Justice, but I vote that you kinda suck."
#GOPCoverup #Snark
46 Likes, 15 Retweets
144) Did Trump just talk about being pro-American? Vladimir Putin butt-kisser says what?
#SOTU
53 Likes, 7 Retweets
145) My Monday #ImpeachmentTrial prediction
#TrumpDefense: "Everyone's talking about what John Bolton's written. You know what they're not talking about? His moustache. You know who else had a moustache? Hitler."
#BoltonBombshell #Snark
47 Likes, 14 Retweets
146) BREAKING NEWS: "All Congressional Democrats have scheduled immediate chiropractor appointments due to constantly shaking their heads during Trump's speech tonight"
#SOTU #Snark
50 Likes, 8 Retweets
147) Philbin: "This is upside down. Unprecedented. Unprecedented, I tell you!"
No, it's unprecedented that a United States "president" doesn't want the American people to determine elections. It's unprecedented he's in love with foreign dictators. He's upside down.
#ImpeachedForLife
43 Likes, 14 Retweets
147) The GOP puts the "liar" in "trial."
#GOPCoverup #ImpeachmentTrial
46 Likes, 11 Retweets
149) Cipollone: "When a woman wants to divorce her husband after he cheats on her, she's cheating on him!"
#ImpeachmentHearings #TrumpIsGuilty #Snark
46 Likes, 10 Retweets
150) The story of the tortoise and the hare. The hare may be naturally quicker on its feet than the tortoise, but as Mitch McConnell is displaying, no one can lie at the pace of a tortoise. A giant talking Cheeto is the lone exception.
#ImpeachmentDay
45 Likes, 10 Retweets
150) "I read a book once. It had words, believe me!"
#LiesTrumpHasTold #Snark
49 Likes, 6 Retweets
152) Philbin: "The pause between when the robber told the bankers to give him the money and when the police showed up at the bank was insignificant, which means Trump shouldn't be removed."
#impeachment #TrumpIsGuilty #Snark
45 Likes, 9 Retweets
152) Quoting Sarah Palin for the first and last time: "All of 'em."
#LiesTrumpHasTold
46 Likes, 8 Retweets
154) Trump: "We are doing numbers."
Let me guess, they're underage...
#SOTU
41 Likes, 12 Retweets
154) Trump: "Some people find God in love. Others find God in giving. I find God in Two Corinthians."
#SOTU #Snark
46 Likes, 7 Retweets
156) #TrumpDefense: "The evidence just isn't there to remove the president from office."
Dems: "So let's allow for documents and witnesses for the purpose of collecting more evidence."
Trump Defense: "No. The defense rests, your honor."
#ImpeachmentHearings #TrumpIsGuilty #Snark
41 Likes, 11 Retweets
157) Have you heard of the Jackson 5?
Trump: "Of course. Janet, Michael, Andrew..."
Sure. Have you heard their song, "ABC"?
Trump: "Heard it? I practically wrote it!"
Oh? So what are the lyrics to the chorus?
Trump: "A, B, C, it's easy as 1, 2, 6."
#WorldWarSix #Trump #Snark
42 Likes, 8 Retweets
158) GOP Senators: "We're going to compare this to a criminal trial and then vote against witnesses, because we made up our minds before the trial started. Like we said, this is just like a fair, legitimate criminal trial."
#impeachment #TrumpIsGuilty #Snark
38 Likes, 10 Retweets
158) A candy heart, which says, "Grab 'Em By the P*ssy"
#MAGAValentinesGifts
45 Likes, 3 Retweets
160) What I imagine Zeldin was like in school:
"What are two cities in New York? I'll give you one - Albany. Lee?"
Why don't you ask someone else?
"So you don't know?"
Yeah, I know.
"So what is it? Would you like a multiple choice?"
What's that?
"Nevermind."
#TrumpIsGuilty
41 Likes, 6 Retweets
161) Sekulow: "If a person gets hired for a job and he goes on to kill 5 people, rob 2 banks, and rape the Easter Bunny, it'd do a disservice to the person who hired him, to fire him."
#ImpeachedForLife #TrumpIsGuilty #Trump #Snark
33 Likes, 12 Retweets
161) #TrumpDefense: "Impeachment isn't supposed to be partisan, but since all Congressional Republicans have undergone operations to have their heads permanently implanted in our client's tuchus, it is, and that's just wrong."
#ImpeachmentTrials #ImpeachmentDay #TrumpIsGuilty #Snark
37 Likes, 8 Retweets
163) Trump doesn't have any friends. People who have known/worked with him know damn well he's rotten to the core, and that it'll likely be in their best interests to record conversations with him. Oh, but like he's said, he doesn't know any of them...
#TrumpIsGuilty
35 Likes, 9 Retweets
164) #TrumpDefenseTeam: "All quid pro quos are the same, so since they're common in politics, all must be legal. If Trump offered $1 million to have someone shot on 5th Ave., this would be as legal as him offering a sack of marbles for a baseball card."
#Impeachment #Snark
32 Likes, 9 Retweets
164) #TrumpDefense: "We're now going to read to you a biography we just wrote about Richard Nixon. It's called, 'One Giant Dick.'"
#ImpeachmentTrials #ImpeachmentDay #TrumpIsGuilty #Snark
37 Likes, 4 Retweets
164) "I know more about ISIS than the generals do, believe me! For example, it's not pronounced 'eye-sis.' That's fake news right there. Crooked Billy Clinton actually had it right when he asked what is was. ISIS is 'iz iz,' not 'eye-sis.'"
#LiesTrumpHasTold #Snark
37 Likes, 4 Retweets
167) Wow, settle down there, GOPers. Hey Elvis, how would you describe these Republican lawyers?
#GOPCoverup #ImpeachmentHearings
35 Likes, 4 Retweets
167) Deep Thoughts with Jay Sekulow
Sekulow: "There is not a manuscript in the book."
#impeachment #ImpeachmentTrial #TrumpIsGuilty
38 Likes, 1 Retweet
169) Trump: "Let me tell you a powerful story about a baby. Because of this story, no woman should have the right to choose what to do with their bodies after they get knocked up."
#SOTU #Snark
28 Likes, 9 Retweets
169) Trump: :: sniff, sniff, sniff, sniff ::
GOPers:
#SOTU #Snark
32 Likes, 5 Retweets
171) Dershowitz: "Every single one of our presidents should have been impeached & removed, yet no one has been removed, which means Trump shouldn't be. In the 230 years since Washington was president, nothing has changed here, so we should treat DT the same as GW."
#Impeachment #Snark
28 Likes, 8 Retweets
171) Oh, so I was wrong. Trump can't count to 3.
#WorldWarSix #Trump #TrumpIsGuilty
31 Likes, 5 Retweets
173) #TrumpDefense: "If a person has a dual motive - one public and one personal - the public one overrides the personal. That's basic law and basic math. One positive and one negative makes a positive. Again, basic law and basic math."
#impeachment #ImpeachedForLife #Snark
26 Likes, 9 Retweets
173) A greeting card which reads:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Knock the crap out of 'em,
Then I'll give you a hamberder too.
#MAGAValentinesGifts
31 Likes, 4 Retweets
175) GOP: "Debunked conspiracy. Alternative fact. Bumper-sticker slogan. Chain-email myth. Quote the infamous 'this one guy.' TMZ rumor. Constitution misquote. A gas station-stall love note. Repeat."
#impeachment #ShamTrial #Snark
29 Likes, 5 Retweets
175) "Nobody respects women more than I do, believe me. To show this, often times, without their consent, I grab 'em by the pus*y. So respectful. So so respectful."
#LiesTrumpHasTold #Snark
31 Likes, 3 Retweets
177) A purple heart which reads, "Bone Spurs"
#MAGAValentinesGifts
25 Likes, 7 Retweets
177) Toobin: "Look, if the impeachment trial were football, Republicans would have started with a touchdown lead, with no time remaining. This means they're winning and because they outplayed the Democrats."
#ImpeachmentHearings #Snark
27 Likes, 5 Retweets
179) Angry Sekulow's head is about to explode in 3, 2, 1...
#ImpeachmentTrial #TrumpIsGuilty
27 Likes, 4 Retweets
180) Spray tan-scented roses
#MAGAValentinesGifts
23 Likes, 7 Retweets
181) I vote that any time Patrick Philbin is called on to answer a question, Regis takes his place.
#ImpeachedForLife #TrumpIsGuilty
28 Likes, 1 Retweet
182) Pompeo: "'Toe-may-toe,' 'Toe-ma-toe.' 'Bangladesh,' 'Belarus.'"
#PompeoMeltdown #Snark
22 Likes, 6 Retweets
182) Sekulow: "House Democrats had three law professors testify and Republicans had one. If we were to balance that in the Senate, for every Democratic witness, Republicans would get four, because math."
#ImpeachmentHearing #TrumpIsGuilty #Snark
25 Likes, 3 Retweets
184) Trump: "He (Musk) does good at rockets."
...and Trump "does good at" English.
#Trump
20 Likes, 6 Retweets
185) Raskin: "Let's stand back for a moment and try to see the whole forest. How many of you are into basketball? Any Bulls fans? Okay, good. So, in the '90s, do you remember how good they were? Well, Michael Jordan was a very minor player in their success."
#ImpeachmentTrials #Snark
20 Likes, 4 Retweets
186) A box of covfefes
#MAGAValentinesGifts
21 Likes, 2 Retweets
187) The book, "The Oranges of Oranges: Where Oranges Came From"
#MAGAValentinesGifts
18 Likes, 4 Retweets
188) A collection of blank maps and Sharpies
#MAGAValentinesGifts
18 Likes, 3 Retweets
189) If today's "trial" were a television show, it'd be Perry Mason (Dems) vs. Brick Tamland (Reps).
#TrumpsRemovalTrial #ImpeachmentTrial #GOPCoverup
16 Likes, 4 Retweets
190) Given how they seem to envision trials (no evidence, no witnesses), I imagine if they were to set up a basketball game, GOPers would say, "Okay, here's how it's going to be. 5-on-5. A court and two poles. No rim. No basketball. Mano-y-mano. ...and go!"
#ImpeachedForLife #Snark
16 Likes, 2 Retweets
191) A shirt which reads, "My Daughter Is More Bangable Than Yours"
#MAGAValentinesGifts
13 Likes, 2 Retweets
191) Trump: "People nicknamed Jimmy Hoffa by their neighbor's BFF's second cousin have higher paying jobs than ever before!"
#SOTU #Snark
15 Likes, 0 Retweets
193) Sekulow: "The House Managers have it wrong. In a criminal trial, if the defense calls a witness the prosecution doesn't like after the prosecution makes its opening statement, that's not fair; that's not right; and that's what Democrats are trying to do."
#ImpeachedForLife #Snark
12 Likes, 1 Retweet
194) Philbin's reaction to the last two questions...
#impeachment #TrumpIsGuilty
11 Likes, 1 Retweet
194) A teddy bear holding a heart that says, "I Heart Put(in)"
#MAGAValentinesGifts
11 Likes, 1 Retweet
194) Nothing, unless you get to use other people's money to purchase them.
#MAGAValentinesGifts
11 Likes, 1 Retweet
Totals: 41,047 Likes, 11,987 Retweets (Averages of 209.4 Likes, 61.2 Retweets)
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