I had some fun with trending hashtags on Twitter during the conventions. Here are my posts, from the most to the least popular (all of my tweets can be seen here - https://twitter.com/CraigRozniecki):
1) You:
- conspired with Russia and got caught.
- obstructed justice and got caught.
- tried bribing Ukraine and got caught.
- perjured and got caught.
- lied over 20,000 times and got caught.
- sexually assaulted women and got caught.
- are a traitor and got caught.
#DNCConvention https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1296274065762717696 …
6,141 Likes, 1,744 Retweets
2) ...and now MAGAts are attempting to troll Michelle Obama because she once complimented Harvey Weinstein in 2013, before all of his criminal revelations? Really? You know, Trump himself is a predator, so yeah, there's that...
#DNC pic.twitter.com/5LHa8emC0Y
3,673 Likes, 917 Retweets
3) I saw Big Mike trending this morning & figured it had to do w/the rapper. Nope, it's a bunch of racist, sexist, transphobic Trumpanzees spreading the conspiracy that Michelle Obama is transgender. As they do this, Melania is practicing Michelle's speech from last night.
#DNC2020
1,473 Likes, 284 Retweets
4) "So, Craig, what will you remember most about Donald Trump's #RepublicanNationalConvention speech?"
Jim Gaffigan telling Karen to f*ck off.
1,417 Likes, 220 Retweets
5) Amazing. I wake up and see "cocaine," "Adderall," "the purge," and "Uncle Tom" all trending, and I immediately know they're all connected to the #RNCConvention2020.
1,237 Likes, 317 Retweets
6) "Sarah Palin: I Never Would Have ‘Prostituted’ Myself Like Kamala"
No, you'd just say that you can see Russian prostitutes from your house, and when asked which ones, reply, "All of 'em."
https://www.thedailybeast.com/sarah-palin-tells-tucker-carlson-i-never-would-have-prostituted-myself-like-kamala-harris?source=twitter&via=desktop …
#DemConvention2020
1,160 Likes, 270 Retweets
7) I see "Can Trump" trending. Here's a list of what Trump can't do:
- Ride a bike
- Walk down a ramp
- Lift a glass of water w/1 hand
- Work an umbrella
- Remove toilet paper from his shoes
- Correctly say "anonymous"
- Read a graph
- Tell the truth
- Show heart
- Work
#BidenHarris
1,078 Likes, 322 Retweets
8) Sorry that I've gone quiet. My President is speaking.
#DemocraticConvention pic.twitter.com/KLpWNYNJaT
836 Likes, 124 Retweets
9) I will give "Melanie" one thing - even with her pronunciation slips here and there, she speaks English better than her husband, bigly.
#RNC2020
718 Likes, 83 Retweets
10) Dear GOP:
Donald Trump is currently the president. Joe Biden isn't. Therefore, all of this "rioting," "looting," and "vandalism" is on Trump's watch, not Biden's.
#RepublicanNationalConvention
482 Likes, 218 Retweets
11) Julia Louis-Dreyfus is awesome. Yup, that's it. Nothing further to add.
#DemConvention pic.twitter.com/LxGXIJGl84
506 Likes, 69 Retweets
12) Only can a white man travel across state lines, armed with an assault weapon, with his sole intent being to terrorize protesters, and then claim his 2+ murders were out of self-defense.
#BlackLivesMatter
404 Likes, 161 Retweets
13) Remember when the RNC included such talented entertainers like John Legend and Julia Louis-Dreyfus? Yeah, me neither.
#DemConvention
482 Likes, 59 Retweets
14) Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Such a triggered and melting snowflake,
Sucks to be you.
#DemocraticConvention https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1296274065762717696 …
388 Likes, 90 Retweets
15) Last week
GOP: "Ooh, good for you, Joe. You can read a teleprompter. Want a cookie?"
Tonight
Trump: "I profoundly accept the nomination."
It was written "proudly," so Trump can't even read a teleprompter. Point, Joe.
#RNC2020
320 Likes, 121 Retweets
16) Police don't think less of blacks. They think more of them. They think, if a black man picks up a brush, he can obviously transform it into a rocket launcher. If he's walking away, he's about to make like Neo. If he holds a car key, he could blow up the world.
#BlackLivesMatter
362 Likes, 73 Retweets
17) Kamala: "I know what a predator looks like."
Psst, she's talking about you...
#DemocraticConvention pic.twitter.com/J08QwPsEdh
295 Likes, 101 Retweets
18) Sharpton just now: "We speak against the looting, but when will you speak against the shooting?"
#BlackLivesMatter
262 Likes, 98 Retweets
19) If you're an unarmed black man who just broke up a fight & are about to start your car, you wind up shot 7 times in the back by police & paralyzed.
If you're a white man w/an assault weapon; crossed state lines; killed 2 & injured another; you won't be shot.
#BlackLivesMatter
204 Likes, 120 Retweets
20) What's with Don, Jr.'s eyes? I don't know whether to hand him a tissue or test him for drugs.
#RNC2020
278 Likes, 44 Retweets
21) I know the Obamas probably don't miss all of this, but I sure as hell miss the Obamas.
#DemConvention
274 Likes, 39 Retweets
22) Remember that time when a black man crossed state lines, with an assault weapon, killed 2 people, was given water by police, was able to go back home and sleep in his own bed, and then received the self-defense defense by hordes of white people? Me neither.
#BlackLivesMatter
198 Likes, 74 Retweets
23) Giuliani: "We will make America safe again!"
So you're admitting it's not safe now under Donald Trump's "leadership?"
#RNCConvention2020
209 Likes, 58 Retweets
24) After last night, I think it's safe to say we can start calling the #RepublicanConvention "The Real Cokeheads of Washington."
202 Likes, 62 Retweets
25) I just saw someone write, "Vote red or you'll have to wear a mask for the rest of your lives!"
What that should say is, "Vote red if you want to wear a mask for the rest of your lives. Otherwise you will die, because Republicans won't do sh*t about the virus."
#BidenHarris
211 Likes, 45 Retweets
26) I'd rather vote for a rabid wolverine that was just injected with speed than Donald Trump. I'm from Ohio and am going with Joe, bigly.
#OhioForBiden
218 Likes, 38 Retweets
27) "Rally turns violent as Proud Boys met by counter-protesters in downtown Kalamazoo"
Translation: "The Tiny Penis Club met up in Kalamazoo, in hopes of spreading COVID to one another, being the stable geniuses that they are" https://www.mlive.com/news/kalamazoo/2020/08/rally-turns-violent-as-proud-boys-met-by-counter-protesters-in-downtown-kalamazoo.html …
#BidenHarris
170 Likes, 74 Retweets
28) That's funny. In the midst of a global pandemic, nationwide protests, and a hurricane, GOPers are asking, "Where's Joe?" You see? Even they know Trump is incapable of leading and are already wishing Biden was President.
#RNC2020
188 Likes, 55 Retweets
29) Amazing. An unarmed black man gets shot in the back and many try digging any dirt they can find about him to justify the shooting. Then, on the flip-side, a white man shoots and kills two people, injures another, and I don't hear a peep about his history.
#BlackLivesMatter
170 Likes, 65 Retweets
30) I don't understand. Why are there several American flags behind the speakers and not Russian and Confederate flags?
#RepublicanConvention
202 Likes, 33 Retweets
31) "Mark Meadows: Lack of Evidence of Mail-In Voting Fraud Is the ‘Definition of Fraud’"
So it's official - Mark Meadows doesn't know the definition of "fraud," "definition," or "of." https://www.thedailybeast.com/trump-chief-of-staff-mark-meadows-says-lack-of-evidence-of-mail-in-voting-fraud-is-the-definition-of-fraud?source=twitter&via=desktop …
#BidenHarris2020ToSaveAmerica
168 Likes, 66 Retweets
32) Remember when the GOP tried painting Michelle Obama as an "angry black woman"? F*cking idiots...
#DemConvention
205 Likes, 28 Retweets
33) Ivanka: "My father's results speak for themselves."
This is actually true. Over 185,000 people dead; allies pushed away; dictatorial adversaries embraced; police brutality and nationwide protests; 20,000 lies; election-rigging; burning the Constitution; etc.
#RNC2020
156 Likes, 63 Retweets
34) It's quite something Nick Sandmann went off on "cancel-culture" last night, as his whole situation started by him marching to cancel women's rights.
#RNCConvention
165 Likes, 50 Retweets
35) Trump: "If Biden wins, he might tear the wall down. Can you believe that?"
Didn't a light breeze already do that?
#RNCConvention
187 Likes, 27 Retweets
36) Kellyanne Conway: "I'm resigning from this sh*tshow in a week or two, but my soul has already left my body, so why not praise Satan one last time?"
#RepublicanNationalConvention #Snark
161 Likes, 51 Retweets
37) Giuliani: "The US is a disaster right now, because of the liberals."
Cotton: "The US is much safer now than it was 4 years ago."
These quotes happened within five minutes of each other...
#RNCConvention2020
136 Likes, 65 Retweets
38) Okay, when Pence just said, "Thank you, mom. I love you," was he talking to his wife, mother, both, or someone else entirely?
#RNC
177 Likes, 24 Retweets
39) Trump: "I profoundly accept the nomination."
What?
Profoundly = extremely
Translation: "I extremely accept the nomination."
He really does know the best words...
#RNC2020
162 Likes, 32 Retweets
40) An unarmed black man was shot 7 times in the back by cops!
"Oh, he was armed."
He was?
"Yeah, he had a knife on the floor of his car, which wasn't known at the time."
#BlackLivesMatter
141 Likes, 45 Retweets
41) Black man gets shot in the back
GOP: "What'd he do?"
Broke up a fight.
GOP: "Then what?"
Was going to put his key in the ignition.
GOP: "Oh, did his key look like a gun?"
Eh, no.
GOP: "Did he ever try pot when he was 15? Swear? Arrive late to a dentist appt?"
#BlackLivesMatter
145 Likes, 40 Retweets
42) Don, Jr.: "China wants Biden to win!"
Who wants Trump to win?
- Russia
- Racists
- Sexists
- Xenophobes
- Homophobes
- White criminals
- Traitors
- Men who constantly compensate for tiny penises
#RNC2020
135 Likes, 46 Retweets
43) McDaniel: "Biden wants to raise taxes on 82% of the country."
Wow, really? I had no idea 82% of people in this country made $400k+ per year. I'll be damned. I learned something new today...
#RNCConvention2020
145 Likes, 36 Retweets
44) Most dangerous states and how they voted in 2016:
1. NM (D)
2. AK (R)
3. LA (R)
4. TN (R)
5. AR (R)
6. SC (R)
7. AL (R)
8. AZ (R)
9. MO (R)
10. NV (D)
11. OK (R)
12. KS (R)
13. WA (D)
14. GA (R)
15. TX (R)
12 out of 15 voted "R" in 2016. So, you were saying?
#RNC2020 https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1299121427879276544 …
99 Likes, 65 Retweets
45) Melania: "My husband loves this country."
Given her, eh, uniform, I have a feeling she and her husband think they're in Russia right now.
#RNC2020
135 Likes, 27 Retweets
46) A father of one of the Parkland shooting victims just said thank God Trump and Pence were President and Vice President the day his daughter was killed, and not Obama and Biden. Wow...
#RepublicanNationalConvention
121 Likes, 40 Retweets
47) That's because you've had your head lodged in Donald Trump's a$$ since then.
#DemocraticConvention https://twitter.com/LindseyGrahamSC/status/1295555250401796096 …
132 Likes, 26 Retweets
48) Unemployment
Obama: from 10.0% to 4.7%
Trump: from 4.7% to 10.2%
Deaths
Obama (Ebola): 2
Trump (COVID): 175,000+
Impeachments
Obama: 0
Trump: 2
Foreign relations
Obama: stood up to adversaries, embraced allies
Trump: stood up to allies, embraced adversaries
#DemConvention https://twitter.com/LindseyGrahamSC/status/1296255339646595072 …
99 Likes, 57 Retweets
49) Ivanka: "I'm the daughter of the common sense-defending president."
Chugging Clorox? Staring at the sun? Consuming toxic plant extracts? Putting lights up your butt? Yeah, common sense...
#RNC2020
114 Likes, 42 Retweets
50) The GOP has made it look this week as though their party is comprised of mostly women and POC. Here's the reality:
Senate
Democrats: 37.8% women, 13.3% POC
Republicans: 17.0% women, 5.7% POC
House
Democrats: 37.9% women, 44.4% POC
Republicans: 6.6% women, 6.1% POC
#RNCConvention
86 Likes, 65 Retweets
51) Steve Bannon.
Paul Manafort.
Rick Gates.
Michael Cohen.
Roger Stone.
Michael Flynn.
George Papadopoulos.
You don't just allow crime. You hire crime. You are crime.
#DemConvention https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1296589900804915202 …
98 Likes, 46 Retweets
52) In case you missed it, apparently Russia doesn't have blackmail material on Kasich like they do on you.
#DemocraticConvention https://twitter.com/LindseyGrahamSC/status/1295544424609517569 …
109 Likes, 35 Retweets
53) Pence: "Donald Trump protects the right to life."
Yeah, tell that to COVID victims and unarmed black people.
#RNC
117 Likes, 26 Retweets
54) One nice thing about the DNC is the fact that, so long as they don't play songs by Kid Rock, Ted Nugent, Meat Loaf, or David Duke and the Dipsh*ts, we won't be hearing complaints from the musicians used during the convention this week.
#DemConvention
124 Likes, 18 Retweets
55) Ivanka: "I saw the emotions on my father's face."
That was spray-tan.
#RNC2020
122 Likes, 18 Retweets
56) Carson: "I was taught to never be a victim. The only victim in this country right now is a 17-year-old white kid who shot and killed two people."
#RNCConvention2020 #Snark
111 Likes, 27 Retweets
57) DNC: Embrace America in all its diversity and beauty
RNC: White power. Strong men. Guns. Jesus.
#RNC2020
106 Likes, 31 Retweets
58) ...and this is exactly why we say #BlackLivesMatter - because the life of a white man who shot and killed two people is deemed more valuable than a black man who was shot seven times in the back. https://twitter.com/elivalley/status/1298823444285607936 …
94 Likes, 42 Retweets
59) ...and Charlie Kirk starts the live coverage by saying Donald Trump was elected to protect families and the country.
The COVID death toll is at what? Let me check... 181,097. Oh, but he has the magical cure: Chugging Clorox while staring at the sun.
#RNCConvention2020
96 Likes, 37 Retweets
60) Dear Americans:
Want to know who cares for the health and well-being of you and your families? Just look at how the two conventions were set up. At the DNC, there was social-distancing, mask wearing, etc. At the RNC, there wasn't. The end.
#RNC2020
101 Likes, 31 Retweets
61) Obama's approval rating when he left office was 57%. Your highest average approval has been 45.8%. Also, let's not beat around the bush - you're here because of Russia.
#DemConvention https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1295744066466934784 …
107 Likes, 25 Retweets
62) Many people are saying, before the convention today, Donald Trump asked Don, Jr. and Kimberly Guilfoyle to serve him a Diet Coke and they thought he said, "Snort until you die on coke."
#RNCConvention2020
111 Likes, 21 Retweets
63) Pence: "Democrats are doing nothing but attacking America."
Eh, no, COVID is attacking America, and you're not doing a damn thing about it.
#RNC
98 Likes, 33 Retweets
64) Gaetz: "Basement Biden..."
Let me stop you right there. Where's bunker b*tch at these days?
#RNCConvention2020
108 Likes, 23 Retweets
65) Haley: "Trump tells people what they need to hear."
Yes, because during a global pandemic, what we need to hear is "eat this toxic leaf," "stare at the sun," "take drugs prescribed for other conditions," and "drink a keg of disinfectant."
#RNC2020
91 Likes, 36 Retweets
66) ...and Donald Trump can't. So point Joe.
#DemConvention https://twitter.com/mercedesschlapp/status/1296817386830671879 …
111 Likes, 16 Retweets
67) 2016
Trump: "What do you have to lose?"
2020
Trump: "What more do you have to lose?"
#RepublicanConvention #Snark
90 Likes, 35 Retweets
68) Trump: "I'm for *everybody."
*This excludes: women, blacks, Hispanics, Asians, Natives, LGBT members, Muslims, atheists, scientists, doctors, liberals, Democrats, USPS workers, smart people, soldiers, teachers, students, poor people, middle-class families, etc.
#RNCConvention
88 Likes, 36 Retweets
69) Oh really?!? Two words: Russian bounties.
#DemocraticConvention https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1295548611699322882 …
98 Likes, 26 Retweets
70) Dear GOP:
Just because someone says they love the country doesn't mean they do. Just because someone says he supports the troops doesn't mean it's true. Just because a person claims to believe in God doesn't make it true. Look past DT's words. He's a liar, con & cheat.
#RNC2020
101 Likes, 23 Retweets
71) Nurse: "Trump has been a COVID hero! He's done everything right!"
2/26
Trump: "We only have 15 cases and we'll be down to 0 soon."
Today
181,000+ COVID-related deaths
Yeah, he's been as much a savior as the Grim Reaper during a purge.
#RNCConvention2020
93 Likes, 29 Retweets
72) Only the GOP could think having this many boring speakers in a row, leading up to a climax of Mike Pence, could ever be a good idea.
#RNCConvention
96 Likes, 26 Retweets
73) According to new reports, Jacob Blake was punched by officers, put into a headlock, tased, shot 7 times in the back, and paralyzed, but yeah, the police are the victims here... 🙄
#BlackLivesMatter
101 Likes, 21 Retweets
74) Did anyone else get teary-eyed hearing that little boy speak about his stuttering and how Biden has helped him with it?
#DemConvention pic.twitter.com/MfoDiWlMHD
110 Likes, 12 Retweets
75) Lower. Lower than that. Even lower. The truth of the matter is, no matter how low Trump goes one day, he will find a way to go lower.
#HowLowTrumpWillGo
100 Likes, 20 Retweets
76) Because he wanted the people to decide the nominee and for him to not play a factor in the process. Because, unlike you, he thinks people's votes should matter.
#DemocraticConvention https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1296275840649625601 …
94 Likes, 20 Retweets
77) God, this is bad. There's so much BS being spewed at the #RepublicanNationalConvention, networks are having to cut in and spend more time fact-checking the speakers than listening to them speak.
91 Likes, 22 Retweets
78) Pop quiz. Your younger brother is dying. Over 170,000 Americans have passed away due to a pandemic. Millions of people are without jobs. What do you do?
Trump: "Golf with a guy named Feely."
#Snark #BidenHarrisLandslide2020 pic.twitter.com/KmVihH8rLS
73 Likes, 36 Retweets
79) Donald Trump:
- Mail-in voting? No.
- Mail-order brides? Yes.
#DemocraticConvention
98 Likes, 20 Retweets
80) It's funny. The GOP spent roughly 8.5 hours talking up how great of a person Donald Trump was during 3+ nights at the #RepublicanNationalConvention, and it only took Trump 1 or 2 minutes to prove, once again, he's an a$$hole.
95 Likes, 18 Retweets
81) This really is quite the post. It'd be like if you fired a round of bullets at someone on 5th Avenue, and right after you did so, starting shouting, "SOMEONE SAVE THAT GUY!," and continued firing your weapon at him as you did so.
#BidenHarris https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1295454897689604097 …
86 Likes, 22 Retweets
82) Franklin Graham's daughter: "Christians have been so persecuted by liberals like Biden and Harris that I was unable to make the speech I'm making right now."
#RNCConvention2020 #Snark
88 Likes, 20 Retweets
83) KayLIE: "This president stands by those with pre-existing conditions."
Really?
"Yes."
He's trying to repeal what?
"Obamacare."
Which covers?
"Pre-existing conditions."
Ah, there it is. Thanks for playing.
#RepublicanNationalConvention
78 Likes, 28 Retweets
84) The GOP seems obsessed with what they've coined "cancel-culture." If they want to use that language, fine. Here's the gist of it.
Democrats want to cancel inequality.
Republicans want to cancel equality.
The end.
#RNCConvention
77 Likes, 28 Retweets
85) When someone bullies a person you love, what do you do?
Jill Biden: "Punch him right in the face."
Donald Trump: "Tweet my ass off."
#DemocraticConvention #Snark
97 Likes, 6 Retweets
86) #CancelAubreyHuff
https://www.newsweek.com/aubrey-huff-kenosha-shooter-kyle-rittenhouse-national-treasure-twitter-1527955 …
71 Likes, 31 Retweets
87) Jebus, if Mike Pence were Pinocchio tonight, his nose would reach Neptune.
#RNCConvention
86 Likes, 16 Retweets
88) Upon reading the transcript from Trump's speech, I realize I missed this line from last night:
"We will produce a vaccine before the end of the year or maybe even sooner."
Hmm, does Trump own a flying DeLorean by any chance?
#RNC2020Convention
85 Likes, 15 Retweets
89) This is quite the strategy. Donald Trump has been notorious for being an a$$hole for over 74 years, and in four days, the GOP is trying to convince the nation he's Mr. Nice Guy. This is more phony than Milli Vanilli with a Trump spray-tan.
#RNC2020
75 Likes, 24 Retweets
90) That Pam Bondi speech was the biggest load of horsesh*t I think I've ever heard. It was so bad, aliens smelled it from Uranus.
#RNC2020
79 Likes, 20 Retweets
91) Pence: "Donald Trump has kept his word to the American people."
What word is that? Covfefe, hamberder, smocking, Melanie?
#RNC
77 Likes, 21 Retweets
92) #RNC Day 1 (still hrs away from the main event)
- The Crypt-Keeper says she'll soon resign
- DeJoy is questioned at a hearing
- Donald gets sued by TikTok
- Eric & Trump Org get sued by NY AG
- Many former GOP Congresspeople endorse Biden
- Falwell, Jr. talks about the pool boy
67 Likes, 29 Retweets
93) I skimmed the transcript from Trump's speech last night and counted 84 lies. This is a minimum, as I haven't done any number-crunching on some of the data he spewed.
Speech: 52 min
Applause: 26 min
Overall: 78 min
At minimum, Trump lied 1.62 times p/min of his speech.
#RNC2020
68 Likes, 28 Retweets
94) A black man silently protests police brutality by kneeling during the anthem
GOP: "Cancel him!"
Racists, sexists, xenophobes, homophobes get cancelled on social media
GOP: "Whoa! Now that's going way too far! Like, seriously, WTF?!?"
#RNC2020 #Snark
66 Likes, 28 Retweets
95) 185k+ Americans have died via COVID; portions of the Southeast have been devastated by a tornado; protests are occurring nationwide...
GOPers: "Let's get 'communism is bad' trending." 🙄
#RNC2020
68 Likes, 27 Retweets
96) Trump/Pence
1) "Make America Great Again!"
2) "Keep America Great!"
3) "Wait no, it's not great again, so Make America Great Again!"
4) "Let's not make any sense and say Make America Great Again Again!"
F*ck it. Just combine them all: "Keep America Great Again Again!"
#RNC2020
75 Likes, 19 Retweets
97) It's just been confirmed: Charlie Kirk has broken the world record for time spent giving a president oral on national television.
#RNCConvention2020
76 Likes, 18 Retweets
98) Before last night
Michelle Obama: "When they go low, we go high."
After last night
Michelle Obama: "When they go low, they're also high AF."
#RNCConvention2020 #Snark
77 Likes, 17 Retweets
99) Jill Biden: "This nation still beats with kindness and courage."
Trump: "What the f*ck's she talking about? Hey, guys, can I come out of my bunker yet? Are the fireworks almost done?"
#DemocraticConvention #Snark
78 Likes, 16 Retweets
100) Carson: "Donald Trump is transparent."
Yeah, that's why he seems to force everyone to sign an NDA before interacting with him. Oh, and where are his taxes by the way?
#RNCConvention2020
73 Likes, 19 Retweets
101) It's no wonder Donald Trump always looks like he needs to use the restroom. Bullsh*t is always coming out his mouth at warp speed.
#RNCConvention
73 Likes, 18 Retweets
102) Pence: "Who will you trust to rebuild the economy? The guy who, along with President Obama, helped decrease the unemployment rate from 10.0% to 4.7%, or a guy, in Donald Trump, who helped increase the unemployment rate from 4.7% to 10.2%? I rest my case."
#RNCConvention #Snark
64 Likes, 26 Retweets
103) You do know 175,000 deaths is more than 12,500 deaths, right? Asking for a 2-year-old son who feels you may be crazy for thinking otherwise.
#DemConvention https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1295679412365594625 …
72 Likes, 18 Retweets
104) Pence: "The Democrats want to control every aspect of your lives. The Republican Party wants to give you freedom. This is why we want to control women's vaginas."
#RNCConvention #Snark
68 Likes, 21 Retweets
105) Melania last night/Pence tonight: "We take COVID very seriously and won't rest until we've resolved the matter. By the way, we're glad to see hardly anyone wearing a mask. Not 6 feet apart? Good. Oh, and no one was tested here. Now make out with each other."
#RNCConvention #Snark
67 Likes, 21 Retweets
106) Scalise: "Biden is in China's pockets!"
Psst, you may want to read the latest Senate Intel Report. Just sayin'.
#RNC2020
70 Likes, 18 Retweets
107) "Armed" according to Trumpers/police
White people: Not even if they're firing an assault weapon.
Black people: If they're even within 20' of a blade of grass.
#BlackLivesMatter
68 Likes, 19 Retweets
108) Tiffany: "Why is only one viewpoint accepted? Why is 2 + 2 always 4? What about people who think it's 7, 12, or blue? Their voices should not be silenced."
#RNC2020 #Snark
73 Likes, 14 Retweets
109) GOP: "This is going to be an upbeat, positive convention."
Grim Reaper: "That sh*t was dark, guys!"
#RNC2020
74 Likes, 13 Retweets
110) McSally: "Starve yourselves!"
Trump: "Stare at the sun!"
Patrick: "Who cares if grandma dies?"
Trump: "Chug Clorox!"
Lindell: "Consume poison!"
Trump: "170,000 died? It is what it is."
GOP: "Us making millions is more important than you living!"
#VoteBlueToSaveAmerica #Snark
58 Likes, 28 Retweets
111) Okay, MSNBC, whatcha gonna do? You've cut in whenever a speaker has lied about COVID. Psst, "president" Trump is now lying about it...
#RNCConvention
68 Likes, 18 Retweets
112) Melania Trump right now: "Hey, hey, reck-ord, ree-cord, tape this. Best tape! Tape be best! Need know what I gonna say at loser Donnie's thing next week."
#DemConvention #Snark #MichelleObama
71 Likes, 15 Retweets
113) Interesting take, as the man you support - Donald Trump:
- lies incessantly
- is a serial adulterer
- is a sexual predator
- puts himself above anyone else, including "God"
- covets all that he doesn't possess
- steals bigly
- honors only himself
You were saying?
#DemConvention https://twitter.com/Franklin_Graham/status/1296637223962578945 …
60 Likes, 25 Retweets
114) Ivanka: "I'm the daughter of the people's president."
Two people: Vladimir Putin and Donald Trump.
#RNC2020
64 Likes, 21 Retweets
115) It's quite something. The Donald is talking about people who speak 3, 4, 5 languages, and as he's doing so, he struggles to speak one.
#RNC2020
68 Likes, 17 Retweets
116) Trump: "All these dangerous cities are Democrat run. I run the United States, am a Republican, and these cities are all part of the country in which I run, but I've got nothing to do with them."
#RNC2020 #Snark
58 Likes, 26 Retweets
117) Now I see where you get your spelling, punctuation, and grammar skills - the Covfefe-in-Chief.
Psst, you may not want to go this route, considering Clinton's charge is receiving a massage from a massage therapist and your dad's charge is raping a 13-year-old.
#DNC https://twitter.com/DonaldJTrumpJr/status/1295779217733496832 …
67 Likes, 17 Retweets
118) Dear GOP:
It's quite a sight to witness the attempt to portray yourself as a diverse coalition this week at the #RNCConvention. Without adding anything else, I'd like to hear just one of your speakers utter the three words "Black Lives Matter." You can't do it, can you?
58 Likes, 25 Retweets
119) Democrats: "185k have died; unarmed blacks are getting shot and killed by cops; millions are without jobs."
Trump: "America is the greatest country in the history of the world."
GOP: "Yeah! Democrats are traitors!"
#RNCConvention
56 Likes, 26 Retweets
120) DNC: "We need universal healthcare; to end COVID; tighten the wage gap; equal pay for equal work; end systemic racism; etc. We want people to be equal, healthy, and happy!"
Pence: "All Democrats did at the DNC was attack America."
Say what?
#RNC
58 Likes, 23 Retweets
121) A white man crosses state lines, with an assault weapon, kills 2 people, injures another, and he's branded a hero.
An unarmed black man gets shot 7 times in the back and is branded as deserving of it.
People still want to tell me racism is dead? Bullsh*t.
#BlackLivesMatter https://twitter.com/dhookstead/status/1298993985277456395 …
53 Likes, 27 Retweets
122) You do realize they're a combined 3-0 in the popular vote and 2-1 in the electoral college, right?
#DemocraticConvention https://twitter.com/LindseyGrahamSC/status/1296253687451525120 …
66 Likes, 14 Retweets
123) 2016
Trump: "I'm the challenger, the outsider, going up against the establishment Democrats."
2020
Trump: "I'm the challenger, the outsider, going up against myself from the past 4 years."
#RNCConvention2020 #Snark
60 Likes, 19 Retweets
124) Schumer: "Donald Trump is a bunker b*tch."
Ooh, sh*t! Hey, lil Donny, did you hear that?
#Snark #DNC2020 pic.twitter.com/mW9IaAe94u
63 Likes, 16 Retweets
125) Oh, boy. Donald Trump is now lecturing us about morals. I... I...
#RNCConvention pic.twitter.com/lsw80TXmXf
63 Likes, 16 Retweets
126) I'm not one for hyperbole, but Donald Trump may very well be the biggest bullsh*tter in human history. Wow...
#RNC2020
65 Likes, 14 Retweets
127) Matt Gaetz's secret pool-boy "son" is now speaking. Oh, sorry, it's Gaetz. Yeah, it's definitely Gaetz. I smell the Busch on his breath.
#RNCConvention2020
66 Likes, 13 Retweets
128) ...and your real number is what, 200,000? 250,000? Who's "president" again?
"I'll fix everything myself." Who said that? You. Then again, who said, "I take no responsibility"? You again. 🙄
#DemocraticConvention https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1295562738400362497 …
60 Likes, 18 Retweets
129) Now Representative Zeldin is suggesting Trump has saved this country from COVID. That'd be like suggesting the iceberg saved passengers on the Titanic.
#RepublicanNationalConvention
63 Likes, 15 Retweets
130) Okay, if my calculations are correct, Eric Trump has lied more in 4 minutes than speakers lied through 4 days at the DNC.
#RNC2020
65 Likes, 13 Retweets
131) Ivanka: "You always know where my dad stands!"
Yes, because he's constantly contradicting himself while sporting a tinfoil hat.
#RNC2020
66 Likes, 12 Retweets
132) Ivanka: "Our hearts are with you."
That's a lie. Trumps don't possess hearts.
#RNC2020
72 Likes, 6 Retweets
133) Tom Cotton - a man so boring, he just made Ben Carson sound exciting.
#RNCConvention2020
68 Likes, 7 Retweets
134) McCloskeys: "The left-wing radicals want to take over the world and all we want to do is be able to point guns at peaceful, law-abiding black people."
#RepublicanNationalConvention #Snark
60 Likes, 13 Retweets
135) When I awoke this morning, I didn't think I'd finally get to hear Sarah Cooper speak. Every day is full of surprises!
#DNC2020
72 Likes, 3 Retweets
136) Does this then mean if you can hide in a bunker, you can vote from a bunker?
#BidenHarris https://twitter.com/Jim_Jordan/status/1295361143167496194 …
63 Likes, 11 Retweets
137) Haley: "Donald Trump has always put America first."
This excludes: himself, Russia, Saudi Arabia, Putin, China, Jong-un, Ivanka, his hats, the rodent on his head, his spray tan, a fake scale, hush payments, loopholes, etc.
#RNC2020
55 Likes, 17 Retweets
138) Not true. While they'll be on the field of battle, you'll be hiding in the bunker.
#DemConvention https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1296219101623459841 …
63 Likes, 9 Retweets
139) Trump has transformed Jim Gaffigan from The Dude to Eddie Murphy in this scene from "Coming to America," and I'm enjoying every minute of it. Now let's try to see the Dotard-in-Chief refer to the comedian as "radical."
#RNCConvention2020 #TeamGaffigan pic.twitter.com/l2VemuTqXO
65 Likes, 7 Retweets
140) Since it's opposite day every day in the Trump world, what Stephen Miller actually said was, "Barack Obama was one of the best, if not the best Presidents in US history."
#DemConvention https://twitter.com/PaulaReidCBS/status/1296432301358878720 …
52 Likes, 19 Retweets
141) Pence: "I say this with all my heart. Donald Trump is the bravest draft dodger in the history of the United States of America!"
#RNCConvention #Snark
55 Likes, 16 Retweets
142) You mean Russia gave us you. I like people who can win elections without the aid of dictatorial foreign adversaries.
#DemConvention https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1296413178566410241 …
58 Likes, 13 Retweets
143) Trumpers: "So you're voting for Biden. Tell us why without mentioning Trump."
So you're voting for Trump. Tell us why without mentioning Biden and only using facts (including links from credible sources).
#VoteBlueToSaveAmerica
60 Likes, 11 Retweets
144) McDaniel: "Trump chose me, not because I'm a woman, like Biden did, but because I was the best person for the job."
Oh, really? You want to say Kamala isn't the best person for VP when your party is led by the Cheeto-in-Chief & ghost man?
#RNCConvention2020
60 Likes, 11 Retweets
145) Donald Trump sounds like a robot that's been cloned too many times...
#RNC2020
63 Likes, 8 Retweets
146) Black Lives Matter!
GOP: "Nuh-uh! All Lives Matter!"
Okay, I'll play along...
All Votes Matter!
Your move...
#DemConvention
65 Likes, 6 Retweets
147) Pence: "Over the past 3 months, we've created 9 million new jobs, which is three times as many as the 21 million jobs we lost before that."
#RNCConvention #Snark
53 Likes, 17 Retweets
148) Is Pam Bondi really coming after Joe Biden for alleged nepotism and his son lacking experience for a job? That's Donald Trump to a T, lady! Projection. Projection. Projection.
#RNCConvention2020
59 Likes, 11 Retweets
149) It's no wonder Eric Trump wants to plead the 5th. He's full of sh*t.
#RNC2020
63 Likes, 7 Retweets
150) Dear GOP:
You elected Donald Trump. He is your president. He said he could fix everything by himself. We now have 185k COVID deaths; millions unemployed; nationwide protests/police brutality. This is on Trump's watch. It is happening now. Get a f*cking grip.
#RNC2020
51 Likes, 18 Retweets
151) Yup, and his name is Donald Trump.
#DemConvention https://twitter.com/GOPChairwoman/status/1295917059788935169 …
53 Likes, 16 Retweets
152) Carson: "Donald Trump will forever stand up for those who are unable to speak."
Tell that to the 185k COVID victims and unarmed black people.
#RNCConvention2020
53 Likes, 16 Retweets
153) Hold on a sec... Oh, sorry, I was just watching a press conference of your father's, where he walked off after receiving a tough question from a real journalist.
#DemConvention https://twitter.com/DonaldJTrumpJr/status/1296654888437415936 …
55 Likes, 14 Retweets
154) I hate to say this, but immediately after this #RepublicanNationalConvention speaker said he was paralyzed from the waist down, I immediately thought of Jacob Blake.
60 Likes, 9 Retweets
155) I'm with Jim!
#RNCConvention2020 #TeamGaffigan pic.twitter.com/T21k9Tfkj5
60 Likes, 9 Retweets
156) Well, Tiffany didn't get coked up like her brother. She consumed the polar opposite of it, as she's putting me to sleep. I'll go with Ambien.
#RNC2020
58 Likes, 10 Retweets
157) Now I have an itch to see Jim Gaffigan as Obama's anger translator.
#RNC2020 #TeamGaffigan
62 Likes, 6 Retweets
158) Trump: "I say very modestly I've done more for the African-American community of anybody since Abraham Lincoln."
He either doesn't know the meaning of "modestly," doesn't know how to properly use the term, or both.
#RNCConvention
57 Likes, 10 Retweets
159) Okay, so I wasn't aware The Stepford Wives had a speaking gig tonight...
#RNCConvention2020
61 Likes, 6 Retweets
160) Jacob Blake
What should have happened: handcuff him with no shots fired
What did happen: handcuff him to a hospital bed after shooting him 7 times in the back
#BlackLivesMatter
46 Likes, 20 Retweets
161) So if we did no testing, there would be no cases? Are you thereby saying the cure for cancer is never going to the doctor?
#DNC https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1295897125507670017 …
49 Likes, 17 Retweets
162) Saving lives is a political reason? ...and wow, you sound like a baby. You just found out about your poor ratings from last night, didn't you? Poor baby...
#RNC2020 https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1299471313128452097 … pic.twitter.com/bVH5dr8nHr
53 Likes, 13 Retweets
163) We have now reached our communism portion of the convention. Oddly enough, I've yet to hear any mention of Trump being in bed with Russia or his made-in-China hats that he prioritizes over American companies like Goodyear.
#RepublicanConvention
48 Likes, 17 Retweets
164) An immediate difference I notice in the two conventions:
DNC: Speakers/Stories possessed emotion and sincerity.
RNC: Speakers/Stories sound robotic and like they're being held hostage.
#RepublicanNationalConvention
52 Likes, 13 Retweets
165) Projection.
"In 74 years, I did none of the things which I now speak. I will never change, just words!"
Projection.
#DemConvention https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1296645682875506688 …
53 Likes, 12 Retweets
166) This is seriously coming across like a parody of a reality show.
#RNC2020
59 Likes, 6 Retweets
167) #RNC Trump speakers
1) Donald (x 4)
2) Don, Jr.
3) "Melanie"
4) Eric
5) Lara
6) Ivanka
7) Kimberly Guilfoyle
8) Tiffany
9) Jared Kushner (in all likelihood)
Given this, I'm thinking TNC makes much more sense.
50 Likes, 14 Retweets
168) No, Obama's like a loving parent. In 2008, he was telling his kids about their bright futures, instilling confidence & optimism. Now, after the kids served their prison terms, he's telling them to get their sh*t together, or else the future won't be so bright.
#DNC2020 https://twitter.com/LindseyGrahamSC/status/1296448495994515456 …
53 Likes, 11 Retweets
169) DNC: "Let's bring people together; instill hope; and set out a plan for the future."
RNC: "Let's give Donald a 2.5-hour full-body massage for 4 consecutive nights."
#RepublicanConvention
54 Likes, 10 Retweets
170) Trump supporter: "What people need to think about in the upcoming election is who will be better for your family."
Ask 180,000+ families who have lost someone due to Trump's ignorant and incompetent response to COVID.
#RNCConvention2020
44 Likes, 19 Retweets
171) I've gotta say, to this point, it seems as though Joe Biden reads teleprompters much better than the GOPers. Just sayin'.
#RNCConvention2020
53 Likes, 10 Retweets
172) BREAKING NEWS: "Mike Pence is speaking to a woman who isn't his wife, 'Mother'"
#RNC2020 #Snark
54 Likes, 9 Retweets
173) Feb. 26th
Trump: "We have what, 15 cases? That'll be 0 soon, no deaths."
Aug. 17th
5,612,027 cases
173,716 deaths
#DemocraticConvention https://twitter.com/mattdizwhitlock/status/1295537564913405953 …
43 Likes, 19 Retweets
174) Kudlow: "I am a robot. I have zero emotion. I will talk about 180,000 people dying in the same tone as job creation and stocks. This is who I... Malfunction. Malfunction. Malfunction."
#RepublicanConvention #Snark
53 Likes, 9 Retweets
175) When Don, Jr. is in "chill-mode," I envision him screaming "I AM A F*CKING LION," while punching some donkeys.
#RNC2020
56 Likes, 6 Retweets
176) I'm just waiting for the NRA to chime in on recent events, with, "Armed white men don't kill people; unarmed black men kill people."
#BlackLivesMatter
46 Likes, 15 Retweets
177) Trump: "Joe Biden is weak. You know how I know that? Because nobody has dodged drafts because of 'bone-spurs' like I have, believe me."
#RNCConvention2020 #Snark
53 Likes, 8 Retweets
178) "An RNC Speaker Said Cops Would Be 'Smart' to Racially Profile Her Own Son"
The award for Mother of the Year goes to... Someone else. https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/935me3/an-rnc-speaker-said-cops-would-be-smart-to-racially-profile-her-own-son …
#RNC2020
41 Likes, 19 Retweets
179) A white Republican really just said the modern-day Republican Party - the party who tries to suppress black voters; criticize black silent protesters; and won't say Black Lives Matter - is what MLK envisioned when he fought for civil rights. Wow...
#RepublicanNationalConvention
44 Likes, 16 Retweets
180) I've just been handed exclusive footage of Kimberly Guilfoyle prepping for her #RNC speech. pic.twitter.com/tgA7vKowoV
49 Likes, 11 Retweets
181) Haley: "Democrats want to turn us into a socialist country."
Psst, you're the corporate socialists.
#RNC2020
51 Likes, 9 Retweets
182) Rand Paul: "I'm supporting President Trump, because even though I know he's wanted to several times, he hasn't punched me in the face like all of my neighbors, most of my friends, and at least half of my family."
#RepublicanConvention #Snark
52 Likes, 8 Retweets
183) Some guy named Pompous is now speaking. Oh, joy...
#RNC2020
52 Likes, 8 Retweets
184) Giuliani starts talking...
My first thought: "My God, he looks like sh*t."
#RNCConvention2020
54 Likes, 6 Retweets
185) An absentee ballot is mail-in voting. What else are you going to say, that filling out your ballot at the voting booth is perfectly acceptable, but in-person voting is a scam? 🙄
#BidenHarris https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1294731591030378497 …
46 Likes, 13 Retweets
186) Kay-LIE: "When I look at my little girl, I know President Trump will protect us. He will destroy healthcare. He'll make gun access easier. He'll try to get global warming to speed up. He'll ignore pandemics. That make me feel safe."
#RepublicanNationalConvention #Snark
44 Likes, 14 Retweets
187) Trump: "Before the China Virus, I did more for the black community in 3 years than Biden's done in 47 years."
Really? He tries proving he's not racist against one demographic while being racist against another? That's quite the trick!
#RNCConvention
47 Likes, 11 Retweets
188) Okay, Ben Carson's eyes are actually open while he's speaking. This is some freaky sh*t.
#RNCConvention2020
55 Likes, 3 Retweets
189) Trump: "My agenda is made in America."
Not your hats.
#RNCConvention
44 Likes, 13 Retweets
190) Well, would you look at that? A #RepublicanNationalConvention speaker just said we all deserve to be counted. You might want to talk to Trump about the census, COVID, or mail-in voting. Just sayin'.
44 Likes, 12 Retweets
191) It's interesting that GOPers claim their faith in God is so strong, yet said faith seems to be so weak they feel the need to treat "strongman" figures on Earth like God. Trump & police officers? They can be seen, are omnipotent, omniscient, and can do no wrong.
#BlackLivesMatter
45 Likes, 11 Retweets
192) She said he wasn't racist. It really is opposite day every day in your world, isn't it?
#DemocraticConvention https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1296285289497997317 …
48 Likes, 8 Retweets
193) Donald: "Some people are saying..."
Lara: "Some women are saying..."
Eric: "Some G.I. Joe's are saying..."
#Snark #BidenHarris2020ToSaveAmerica https://twitter.com/Acyn/status/1294804996785991680 …
50 Likes, 6 Retweets
194) Know how I know you didn't write this tweet? You used the proper form of there/their/they're twice in the same post!
#DemConvention https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1296104752284082176 …
39 Likes, 16 Retweets
195) Okay, whether they're Trumps through birth or marriage, they can't help but lie every time they open their mouths. Lara is proof of that.
#RNCConvention
43 Likes, 11 Retweets
196) Covington Crybaby: "Waaaaah! Waaaaah! Waaaaah! Oh, and Donald Trump is the most pro-life president in history."
Yeah, sure, tell that to: the kids he caged; virus victims he neglected; those from whom he stripped healthcare; fetuses he paid to have aborted; etc.
#RNC2020 #Snark
44 Likes, 10 Retweets
197) #RNC
Monday
- Token black guy
- Mr. I-Got-Shot-&-Am-Still-A-Dick
- Rep. Drinking 'n' Shouting
- Gymbo
- Ms. Kissing-A$$-Since-I-Heard-I-Could-Be-VP
- Don, Jr. apparently ages women bigly
- The not-racist-point-guns-at-black-people couple
- Cheeto-in-Chief, Jr.
46 Likes, 8 Retweets
198) People closest to Biden say he cares about others more than himself. Trump only cares about himself. If you care about anyone other than Trump, including yourself, vote Biden.
#DemConvention
47 Likes, 6 Retweets
199) Well, I know this Wisconsin dairy farmer is lying. She just said, "Donald Trump understood..."
#RNCConvention2020
43 Likes, 9 Retweets
200) Parnell: "The Democrat Party wants to chain you!"
Really? As Trump attempts to suppress the vote; rig elections; silence the media; mute contrary opinions; hush porn stars he had affairs with; speak out against protesters; etc.? Yeah, okay then...
#RepublicanConvention
38 Likes, 12 Retweets
201) An unarmed black man gets shot in the back 7 times by cops.
Police: "Hey, hey, cuff him to the hospital bed! He was already shot 7 times today! We don't need him getting shot 7 more!"
WTF?!?
#BlackLivesMatter #Snark
38 Likes, 12 Retweets
202) Even if the answer were no, he'd still be two up on Trump, who can't drive, ride a bike, nor answer 5-10 tough questions in a row (not honestly or accurately anyway).
#BidenHarris https://twitter.com/GeraldoRivera/status/1295091166141128705 …
42 Likes, 7 Retweets
203) Interesting Pence is talking about the "American experiment," considering he's currently part of the Russian experiment.
#RepublicanConvention
42 Likes, 7 Retweets
204) It's truly disgusting. Every time Ivanka praises her father, I can't help but think of the time he said if she weren't his daughter, he'd be dating her.
#RNC2020 pic.twitter.com/mRN9epBkGv
36 Likes, 12 Retweets
205) The GOP treats Jacob Blake and other unarmed black victims like the antithesis of "Minority Report."
"Minority Report": arrest and convict someone before a crime is committed.
"Report Minorities": kill someone and then find out what crime they committed.
#BlackLivesMatter
38 Likes, 10 Retweets
206) Wow, I'm reading some conservative talking heads' reactions to Julia Louis-Dreyfus's jokes last night. It sounds like they were really hurt.
#DemConvention pic.twitter.com/85rXWBEmOY
40 Likes, 8 Retweets
207) "Donald Trump once shook hands with black people."
Trump: "I once shook hands with black people.'
"Donald Trump once shook hands with black people."
...and scene...
#RepublicanNationalConvention
#Snark
40 Likes, 8 Retweets
208) KayLIE is talking about giving women the choice of what to do with their bodies. What a novel concept. Oddly enough, when it comes to women's reproductive rights, she isn't pro-choice.
#RepublicanNationalConvention
35 Likes, 12 Retweets
209) GOP: "People are sick of hearing from celebrities! Elaine Benes needs to shut up and dribble! Anyway, here he is - UFC's Dana White!"
#RNCConvention2020 #Snark
36 Likes, 11 Retweets
210) If you lose, the American people will have won.
#BidenHarris https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1294601307068735488 …
41 Likes, 7 Retweets
211) Carson: "Blah blah blah blah. Abortion. Donald Trump, who's responsible for lots of abortions personally, is the most pro-life president in history, bigly."
#RNCConvention2020 #Snark
36 Likes, 11 Retweets
212) Pence: "The violence that's happening under President Trump would only continue under Joe Biden, but not under Donald Trump, where it started, because that's just not mathematically possible."
#RNCConvention #Snark
38 Likes, 8 Retweets
213) I see that Florida Lieutenant Governor Nunez is bringing back the Bachmann crazy eyes...
#RNC2020
39 Likes, 7 Retweets
214) Shut up, Rudy. Go and marry a cousin or something.
#RNCConvention2020
39 Likes, 6 Retweets
215) Trump's COVID cures combined:
Stare directly at the sun; place Clorox and Lysol in a beer helmet and chug away; snort an anti-malaria drug; and then eat a MyPillow for dessert.
216) Is it November 3rd yet?
#BidenHarrisLandslide2020 pic.twitter.com/EAyx3FcyAY
30 Likes, 15 Retweets
217) Day 3
DNC: "Let's stop gun violence and save our planet."
RNC: "Let's give people more opportunities to shoot others and destroy our planet."
#DNC2020
33 Likes, 12 Retweets
218) Now I understand why Tim Scott is speaking at this thing. He's running for president in 2024.
#RNC2020
33 Likes, 12 Retweets
219) Kristi Noem is in a tight race with Eric Trump and Pam Bondi for biggest bullsh*tter of the convention thus far.
#RepublicanNationalConvention
40 Likes, 5 Retweets
220) GOP: "We cancel cancel-culture!"
Let's hold off until November 3rd, when we cancel Trump and the GOP Senate.
#RNC2020
35 Likes, 9 Retweets
221) Given the GOP's knife excuse, it now seems apparent these are the most dangerous people in the world according to the Republican Party:
3) Serial killers
2) Terrorists
1) Chefs
#BlackLivesMatter
35 Likes, 9 Retweets
222) Funny. It's like a Freedom Trump infomercial. He:
- wants to strip us of voting rights
- seeks to silence the media
- has banned people based on their religion
- sues anyone who disagrees with or criticizes him
Trump is to freedom like ketchup is to steak.
#RNCConvention2020
31 Likes, 12 Retweets
223) Trump: "Democrats are trying to cancel racists, sexists, xenophobes, homophobes, Nazis, and rape apologists, because they're good people, who are telling the truth. We can't let that happen."
#RNCConvention #Snark
31 Likes, 12 Retweets
224) Trump: "Biden won't be able to stand up to foreign leaders!"
What, you mean like this?
#BidenHarris2020 pic.twitter.com/KgOLhc5QIx
32 Likes, 11 Retweets
225) Trump: "Democrats have destroyed every one of our institutions."
Just about everyone has lost faith in our institutions because of you!
#RNCConvention
33 Likes, 10 Retweets
226) Well, Giuliani isn't coked up, but sounds as though he's done a few shots of rubbing alcohol.
#RNCConvention2020
39 Likes, 4 Retweets
227) GOP: "We're trying to suppress votes; silence the media; take away civil rights from anyone who doesn't get mistaken for Casper once a week; rig elections; turn us into Russia. Oh, but look over there! It's a squirrel we call socialism!"
#RNCConvention pic.twitter.com/co1IBut4Bc
30 Likes, 12 Retweets
228) Trump: "If we shut down the economy again, like Sleepy Joe wants to do, people will start taking drugs, suffering heart attacks, strokes, panic attack things. Not only that, but after 6 days of this, their toes will start falling off. Fact. Scary stuff."
#RNCConvention #Snark
31 Likes, 11 Retweets
229) Facts
1. Donald Trump is "president"
2. 180k+ have died of COVID
3. Protests are occurring nationwide
4. The unemployment rate is 10.2%
5. A category 4 hurricane is heading toward the Southeast
6. This is what speakers at the #RepublicanNationalConvention are suggesting... pic.twitter.com/Af2nzt0HQL
32 Likes, 10 Retweets
230) Trebek: "I can't go to war because of bone-spurs."
What is something Colin Powell would never say?
Trebek: "Correct!"
#DemConvention https://twitter.com/MarkDice/status/1295873731529568257 …
33 Likes, 9 Retweets
231) Pence: "We will make America great again again."
You can't do that! WTF?!?
#RNC2020 pic.twitter.com/Yi52Z1u3i1
35 Likes, 7 Retweets
232) It's truly incredible. The speakers tonight are seemingly alternating contradictory narratives.
Speaker 1: "This country is a mess. We've never seen it in worse shape than it is now."
Speaker 2: "La la la la la. Everything is wonderful. Doo dee doo dee doo."
#RNC2020
37 Likes, 5 Retweets
233) Well, if the people don't exist, I guess you don't have anything to worry about, eh?
#DemConvention https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1296601698891374593 …
32 Likes, 9 Retweets
234) Holtz: "Joe Biden helps kids with stutters. Donald Trump grabs women by the p*ssy. So is Donald Trump a great man? Yes. Joe Biden? I can't say that."
#RepublicanNationalConvention #Snark
33 Likes, 8 Retweets
235) Holtz: "It's all about trust, commitment, and love. He's lied over 20k times; cheated on all three of his wives; and only loves himself. This is why i trust Donald Trump."
#RepublicanNationalConvention #Snark
32 Likes, 7 Retweets
236) Pence: "We're opening churches, opening schools, opening work, and killing people because of it. For that, we are heroes, bigly."
#RNCConvention #Snark
33 Likes, 6 Retweets
237) You know, I've placed quotes around "fair and balanced" when sarcastically talking about Fox News as well. Just sayin'.
#BidenHarris #TrumpDoesntKnowSarcasm #TrumpDoesntKnowHowToUseQuotes https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1295050523742175233 …
34 Likes, 5 Retweets
238) "Trump eyes new unproven virus 'cure' promoted by Ben Carson and the CEO of MyPillow"
Introducing MyPillowquine... 🙄
https://www.axios.com/trump-covid-oleandrin-9896f570-6cd8-4919-af3a-65ebad113d41.html?utm_campaign=organic&utm_medium=socialshare&utm_source=twitter …
#BidenHarrisLandslide2020
26 Likes, 12 Retweets
239) 175,000 people have died; unemployment is higher than it was at the peak of the recession; confidence and pride in this country are down, but yeah, things are going great...
#DemConvention https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1295677038301523968 …
27 Likes, 11 Retweets
240) Dana White: "Donald Trump is the motherf*cking Jesus of COVID! Task force? Anti-malaria drugs? Drinking Clorox? Poisonous plant things? Lights up your butt? F*cking genius!"
#RNCConvention2020 #Snark
30 Likes, 8 Retweets
241) Dana White: "Besides the 25,000 lies he's told, Donald Trump is the most honest liar to ever inhabit the galaxy, Earth! Period!"
#RNCConvention2020 #Snark
33 Likes, 5 Retweets
242) That's not it at all actually, but thanks for playing "Completely Missing the Point."
#DemConvention https://twitter.com/CronkiteSays/status/1295149143342698504 …
29 Likes, 8 Retweets
243) Noem is so full of it. When modern-day GOPers say they're for equality, what they're saying is they support "equality" the way it used to be - where straight, white, Christian men were treated as superior to all others. Psst, that's not equality.
#RepublicanNationalConvention
34 Likes, 3 Retweets
244) How many concussions did Lou Holtz suffer as a coach? Yikes...
#RepublicanNationalConvention
35 Likes, 2 Retweets
245) Trump: "Shutting down the economy and saving people's lives is surrendering to the virus. The only way to defeat the virus is by letting it kill you."
#RNCConvention #Snark
25 Likes, 10 Retweets
246) Don, Jr.: "It's a choice between church, work, and school (GOP) and rioting, looting, and vandalism (Dems)."
Or to put it another way, it's between placing paper with numbers on them over human lives (GOP) and placing human lives over paper with numbers on them (Dems).
#RNC2020
30 Likes, 5 Retweets
247) Dana White: "Donald Trump is the first president in history to do everything he said he was going to do! What'd he say he was gonna do - build like 3 trillion miles of wall? They've built 3! Not 3 trillion, 3! Same thing! That's math!"
#RNCConvention2020 #Snark
30 Likes, 5 Retweets
248) Better to be a stiff than a flaccid mini-mushroom, like Stormy Daniels said of you...
#DemConvention https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1295699653753745408 …
26 Likes, 8 Retweets
249) Soooo, what? She knows about Trump's pee tapes then?
#DemocraticConvention https://twitter.com/AZachParkinson/status/1295544596559278082 …
31 Likes, 2 Retweets
250) The one compliment I'm consistently hearing regarding night 1 of the #RNC is its production, which sounds to me like someone just trying to be nice.
"Yeah, the acting was lousy; the dialogue read like a pair of 1st graders talking; the plot was stupid. Oh, but nice production."
24 Likes, 8 Retweets
251) Do you really want to go the "puppet" route, considering your dear leader is a puppet of a dictatorial foreign adversary? I didn't think so...
#DemConvention https://twitter.com/MarkDice/status/1295873731529568257 …
28 Likes, 4 Retweets
252) Yes, because receiving a massage from a massage therapist is where we draw the line and not raping a 13-year-old. Wait, a proctologist looked at my butt. I'm going to sue.
#DemConvention https://twitter.com/benshapiro/status/1295764060982505472 …
29 Likes, 3 Retweets
253) Elmer Fudd is now speaking at the #RepublicanNationalConvention. Fitting.
29 Likes, 2 Retweets
254) Oh, and here we go with the Republican Party of old BS. Psst, the Republican Party of old isn't the Republican Party of today. Progressives supported equality then and support equality now, regardless of party name. You, sir, don't know your history.
#RNCConvention
23 Likes, 7 Retweets
255) A genie named Samsonite, who will grant each of the ballots three wishes... 🙄
#BidenHarris2020Landslide https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1295385113862090753 …
24 Likes, 5 Retweets
256) "Watch Melania Trump greet Ivanka at Trump's RNC speech"
Oh, how this reminds me of... https://www.businessinsider.com/melania-trump-greets-ivanka-trump-smile-rnc-speech-video-2020-8?amp#aoh=15985888678475&csi=1&referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&_tf=From%20%251%24s …
#RNC2020 pic.twitter.com/yrvVlgMiA9
25 Likes, 4 Retweets
257) Stefanik: "Your choice is a far-left, liberal, socialist, Marxist, communist, baby-eating, Dr. Evil-clone Democrat or Rambo Jesus. I choose Rambo Jesus, Donald Trump."
#RepublicanNationalConvention #Snark
21 Likes, 7 Retweets
258) Trump: "The Jiiinese Virus is gonna disappear, like a miracle."
Biden/doctors/scientists: "Eh, no it's not."
Pence: "Did you hear that? Biden said a miracle can't happen, but it will. A vaccine after 300k more died than Trump predicted is a miracle."
#RNCConvention #Snark
22 Likes, 6 Retweets
259) Trump: "Biden isn't a soul-savior. He's a jobs destroyer. This is why, under Sleepy Joe and Obummer, unemployment dropped from 10.0% to 4.7%. Under me, it's never been higher, folks. Never higher."
#RNC2020 #Snark
24 Likes, 4 Retweets
260) Haley: "Sure, black lives matter. Black cops matter. Black business owners matter. Black kids matter. No other black people matter, though."
#RNC2020 #Snark
20 Likes, 7 Retweets
261) Scalise: "Look, Donald Trump got us into this COVID mess, so it seems obvious he's the only one that can get us out of it."
#RepublicanConvention #Snark
24 Likes, 3 Retweets
262) It's humorously apt. When the camera provides a side-view of the speakers, it appears as if the flag in sight in going in a downward trajectory. Fitting, right? With Trump as our "leader," our country and its ideals are going down.
#RepublicanConvention
19 Likes, 7 Retweets
263) Carson: "African-American unemployment was at an all-time low before COVID. Trump did prison reform."
He was riding Obama's coattails and all he did was sign his polygraph-looking name.
#RNCConvention2020
19 Likes, 7 Retweets
264) A Minnesota mayor: "Whoever supports the Green New Deal, they don't live in the real world."
...as Trump tweets about covfefe from his golden toilet.
#RNCConvention2020
24 Likes, 2 Retweets
265) Amazing. Every one of these GOP speakers seems to refer to pre-COVID as the present and COVID of today as the past.
#RepublicanConvention
21 Likes, 4 Retweets
266) The new GOP logo should be a possum, for everything is upside down in their world. Debunked conspiracies are facts and facts are debunked conspiracy theories.
#DemConvention https://twitter.com/Heminator/status/1295526834285805568 …
21 Likes, 2 Retweets
267) Ohhh, sh*t! It's "Mother" Karen!!!
#RepublicanNationalConvention pic.twitter.com/ia47Y9M1L7
17 Likes, 5 Retweets
268) Yeah, you're an even bigger baby than him.
#DemConvention https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1296597150181330944 … pic.twitter.com/WlP21jKUxc
16 Likes, 5 Retweets
269) 1) Donald Trump shoots someone at the RNC.
2) Liberals/Democrats tweet, "OMG! Donald Trump shot someone at the RNC!"
3) GOPers respond, "This just goes to show you how morally perverse liberals and Democrats are! This says more about them than Trump, bigly!"
#RNC2020 #Snark
17 Likes, 4 Retweets
270) Mitch McConnell sounds more bored than a dead turtle named Sleepy Don.
#RNCConvention2020
17 Likes, 4 Retweets
271) New Mexico cop: "Donald Trump is the right president at the right time."
Eh, you left out a word - NEVER!
#RNC2020
19 Likes, 2 Retweets
272) Perhaps he meant that literally, as in he's Kimberly and Don, Jr.'s dealer...
#RNC2020 https://twitter.com/donwinslow/status/1299075572732014592 …
19 Likes, 2 Retweets
273) Pence: "That flag is still here today, and everything you think it stands for Donald Trump and I are taking away. That's freedom."
#RNC2020 #Snark
16 Likes, 4 Retweets
274) Don, Jr.: "We had dominated the charts for seconds, and then, out of the middle of nowhere, BTS took over. But if I know my father like I think Putin does, he'll sing to the top of the charts yet again."
#RNC2020 #Snark
17 Likes, 2 Retweets
275) I think Joni Ernst is talking. I can't understand her. She's speaking with her version of a N95 mask on - a bread bag.
#RepublicanNationalConvention
17 Likes, 1 Retweet
276) How I envision a convo between Karen & Mike Pence:
KP: "Vice President Pence?"
MP: "Yes, mother?"
KP: "Your food is getting cold."
MP: Yes, mother."
KP: "How was your day?"
MP: "Fine, mother."
KP: "Hey, elbows off the table!"
MP: "No."
KP: "VP Pence? You're grounded."
#RNC
18 Likes, 0 Retweets
277) Holtz: "It's about what you can do for your country, not what your country can do for you. This is why I support President Trump - a malignant narcissist."
#RepublicanNationalConvention #Snark
14 Likes, 3 Retweets
278) Who had Brian Urlacher is a racist on their 2020 bingo card?
https://thespun-com.cdn.ampproject.org/v/s/thespun.com/more/top-stories/brian-urlacher-nba-players-message/amp?amp_js_v=a3&_gsa=1&fbclid=IwAR1ibnFXDw8pt2ct2QhBjJKltvuaZ0s9htYg_Ta411hbdgikCmQ0yMsczJI&usqp=mq331AQFKAGwASA%3D#aoh=15985523182991&referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.com&_tf=From%20%251%24s&share=https%3A%2F%2Fthespun.com%2Fmore%2Ftop-stories%2Fbrian-urlacher-nba-players-message …
#BlackLivesMatter
12 Likes, 4 Retweets
279) Parnell: "You're free to speak the truth!"
You mean like that chain email you received from the uncle you call Tinfoil Tommy, and repeating the message that the Earth is a flat octagon named Josh, as fact? Gotcha.
#RNC2020
13 Likes, 3 Retweets
280) Here he is - the ghost of Mike Pence.
"I'm so sorry for your loss."
No, no, he's alive; I think. That's just how he looks.
#RNC
14 Likes, 2 Retweets
281) ...as Donald Trump quivered in his bunker the entire time.
#BidenHarris https://twitter.com/SteveGuest/status/1294317036567433220 …
15 Likes, 1 Retweet
282) Carson: "Even when my eyes are open and it looks as though I'm wide awake, I'm boring AF."
#RNCConvention2020 #Snark
14 Likes, 1 Retweet
283) The GOP reenacting this scene from "The Matrix."
"What do you need?"
Neo: "Everything."
"Sounds serious. Going up against the Jiiinese army?"
Neo: "An unarmed black guy. But he may have a knife within 50 feet of him."
"Oh, you're going to need it all."
#RNC #Snark pic.twitter.com/74ViHSmY20
12 Likes, 2 Retweets
284) I've gotta be honest. The first two nights of the #RNCConvention were unintentionally humorous - like parodies of reality shows. Tonight it's like a parody of a reality show, where Ben Stein is stuck in a loop. pic.twitter.com/UAXoggzVGt
13 Likes, 1 Retweet
285) Dana White: "Look, Donald Trump found the cure for COVID - watching sports, as we endanger lives and kill people in the process!"
#RNCConvention2020 #Snark
8 Likes, 3 Retweets
286) Jebus, emotion is as scarce at this convention as full-body condoms are at orgies. That's what many people have told me anyway.
#RNC2020 pic.twitter.com/UkfIoZwKdR
9 Likes, 2 Retweets
287) Grenell: "The leader of the country is you. That's the Donald Trump doctrine - putting all of you in charge of your own lives and which direction this country goes. That's why he's trying to stop you from voting."
#RepublicanConvention #Snark
8 Likes, 0 Retweets
288) Jack Brewer - a black man who won't say Black Lives Matter. Wow. Oh, I was handed a picture of him just prior to the 2016 election...
#RepublicanNationalConvention pic.twitter.com/vBmHyqknY7
5 Likes, 1 Retweet
Totals: 39,165 Likes, 9,976 Retweets (Averages of 136.0 Likes, 34.6 Retweets)
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