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What I learned in Week 4 of the NFL season

In Week 4 of the NFL season, I learned that...

- ...the New England Patriots outside linebacker's coach and head coach's son will one day star as the central character in these horror films: "The Belichick Lick Project," "Poltergifs," and "House of 1000 Mullets."

- ..., since he gets injured so much, a medical condition shall now be named after the San Francisco 49ers' starting quarterback - Garoppolitis. If you reach stage 4 Garoppolitis, you'll be looking for a new job.

- ..., if Tom Brady and Bill Belichick starred in a soap opera, it'd inevitably be titled "The Old and the Lifeless."

- ...the New Orleans Saints have been prescribed Lithium after getting diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

- ..., the Belichick-Brady hug was so brief, Jason Biggs' character from "American Pie" is even saying, "Damn, they got off (the field) fast!"

- ...the Detroit Lions have unintentionally parodied the old Michael Jordan vs. Larry Bird commercials: "The ball will snap; bounce off our quarterback's right shoulder; off the right guard's rectum; the top of the center's helmet; before hitting the ground; smacking the tight end in the face; and then falling right into the hands of a defender, as he goes untouched to the end zone."

- ...the "game of the century" was also the 6th best game of the week.

- ...Bourbon Meyer will soon be on the market. Side effects include: lying to 8 billion people; Wandering Hands Syndrome; extreme Twitterpation; acting more immature than 21-year-old athletes; and disappointing his lord and savior - Tim Tebow. 

- ..., with how the Tennessee Titans are playing, nobody will remember them.

- ...Urban Meyer can still score, just not with his team.

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