Skip to main content

What I learned in Week 4 of the NFL season

In Week 4 of the NFL season, I learned that...

- ...the New England Patriots outside linebacker's coach and head coach's son will one day star as the central character in these horror films: "The Belichick Lick Project," "Poltergifs," and "House of 1000 Mullets."

- ..., since he gets injured so much, a medical condition shall now be named after the San Francisco 49ers' starting quarterback - Garoppolitis. If you reach stage 4 Garoppolitis, you'll be looking for a new job.

- ..., if Tom Brady and Bill Belichick starred in a soap opera, it'd inevitably be titled "The Old and the Lifeless."

- ...the New Orleans Saints have been prescribed Lithium after getting diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

- ..., the Belichick-Brady hug was so brief, Jason Biggs' character from "American Pie" is even saying, "Damn, they got off (the field) fast!"

- ...the Detroit Lions have unintentionally parodied the old Michael Jordan vs. Larry Bird commercials: "The ball will snap; bounce off our quarterback's right shoulder; off the right guard's rectum; the top of the center's helmet; before hitting the ground; smacking the tight end in the face; and then falling right into the hands of a defender, as he goes untouched to the end zone."

- ...the "game of the century" was also the 6th best game of the week.

- ...Bourbon Meyer will soon be on the market. Side effects include: lying to 8 billion people; Wandering Hands Syndrome; extreme Twitterpation; acting more immature than 21-year-old athletes; and disappointing his lord and savior - Tim Tebow. 

- ..., with how the Tennessee Titans are playing, nobody will remember them.

- ...Urban Meyer can still score, just not with his team.

Labels

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...
2 comments
Read more

Face guarding is legal in college football and the NFL

I just wanted to remind fans and announcers especially, that face guarding is legal in both college football and the NFL. It all comes down to contact. So long as a defender doesn't make contact with an intended receiver, he doesn't have to turn around to play the ball. I can't tell you how many times every week I hear announcers talk about face guarding being a penalty. It's not. I even heard one announcer yesterday state, "If the defender doesn't turn around and play the ball, the ref will call pass interference every time." That's simply not true. Courtesy of referee Bill LeMonnier, he says this with regard to the rule at the college level (answered on 8/12/13): "NCAA rules on pass interference require the face guarding to have contact to be a foul. No contact, no foul by NCAA rules." In the NFL rule book, this is written:  "Actions that constitute defensive pass interference include but are not limited to: (a) Contact by a ...
2 comments
Read more