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What I learned in Week 5 of the NFL season

In Week 5 of the NFL season, I learned that...

- ...Russell Wilson has given so many people the finger, his middle digit sometimes goes up without him even realizing it.

- ...Londoners have officially joined "Cancel-Culture," for after having to sit through the Jets/Falcons game, they want to permanently ban the NFL from their country.

- ...Urban Meyer throws a challenge flag like a girl...who doesn't know where she's going in life, yet finds reason in giving an 0-4 coach a lap-dance at one of his restaurants after he consumed several three wise men shots.

- ..., if NFL referees were to write a Jeff Foxworthy-esque book, entitled, "You might get a flag if...," it would be so long, it'd make "War & Peace" resemble a haiku.

- ...Patches O'Houlihan apparently needs to provide a lesson to NFL kickers, where he will at one point inevitably say, "If you can kick a wrench, you can kick a ball!"

- ...the Kansas City Chiefs defense is so bad, even newborns can run right through it.

- ..., given the controversial Jon Gruden emails which were recently exposed to the public, expect this Halloween costume to come soon to a store near you: Michelin Lips Chucky.

- ...the New York Giants are so banged up, even walking corpse Ben Roethlisberger said, "Damn, I wouldn't want to be them!"

- ...the Detroit Lions are well on their way to becoming the best 0-16 team in NFL history.

- ...it appears to be Matt Nagy's goal to make Justin Fields the Aaron Brooks of Trent Dilfers.

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