Skip to main content

What I learned in Week 6 of the NFL season

In Week 6 of the NFL season, I learned that...

- ..., since he won his first NFL game there, the odds are Urban Meyer's girl on the side will change her name to Cayman London.

- ...officials now require Kyler Murray to give consent before a defender can tap him on the shoulder.

- ..., Cleveland is so beat up, they will temporarily change their name to the James Browns.

- ..., growing up in Wyoming, Josh Allen apparently only had access to the yard-game "Slip 'n' Sneak."

- ...you can forget smart-cars; the most efficient mode of transportation is Derrick Henry.

- ..., if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it's a Patrick Mahomes interception.

- ..., after the New York Giants starting quarterback's turnover-filled outing on Sunday, Denny Green has risen from the dead to shout, "DANIEL JONES IS WHO WE THOUGHT HE WAS!"

- ..., due to his recent play, Sam Darnold has generated a brand new statistical phenomenon which shall be known as "regression toward the green (Jets)."

- ..., when his playing days are done, Aaron Rodgers is set to star in the film "Teen Bear," where he owns bears, and beginning with a mullet, he slowly becomes one.

- ..., with the numbers increasing daily, there's now a 97% chance Jon Gruden was part of the January 6th attacks on the Capitol.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun

The difference between "looking" and "checking out"

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i

The verdict is in. To no one's surprise, Jonathan Hoenig has been found guilty of being an idiot.

Just recently, when discussing the Michael Brown shooting and whether or not race had anything to do with it, Fox News contributor Jonathan Hoenig said, "You know who talks about race? Racists." One moment while I provide Mr. Hoenig with the well deserved slow-clap. :: slow-claps for two seconds :: So, that was quite the line by Mr. Hoenig, wasn't it? "You know who talks about race? Racists." Well, wasn't he just talking about race? So, by his own words, I guess that makes him a racist. Also, if he wants to be consistent, does this mean that people whom talk about gender are sexists and people whom talk about sexual orientation are homophobes? With that line of thinking, Hoenig would engage in the following back-and-forths: Hoenig: "So, who are you voting for?" A woman: "The Democratic candidate, because he's been adamant about his support for equal rights for women." Hoenig: "You sexist feminist nazi!"