Transcript for Podcast: "I Feel Snitty," Episode 198: "'They're Gonna Watch (2,000 Mules)' (parody based on The Proclaimers' song, 'I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)')" is now available!

Podcast: I Feel Snitty

Episode 198: "They're Gonna Watch (2,000 Mules)" (parody based on The Proclaimers' song, "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)"

Premiere Date: 6/18/2022

Length: 3:28 (528 words)

Link: https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/they-re-gonna-watch-2000-mules-parody-based-on-the-proclaimers-song-i-m-gonna-be-500-miles/

Transcript:

When he wakes up, well, I know he’s gonna lie

He’s gonna lie because he’s Dinesh D’Souza

When he speaks out, yeah, I know he’s gonna lie

He’s gonna lie because he lies when his lips move

If he posts tweets, well, I know he’s gonna lie

He’s gonna lie because he’s foreign to the truth

And if he shoots a film, I know he’s gonna lie

He’s gonna lie like a no-good felon would do

But they would watch two-thousand mules

And they would watch two-thousand more

Just so they can claim that votes were stolen

While living in Natives’ home

When he’s working, yes, I know he’s gonna lie

He’s gonna lie because that’s what pro liars do

And when caught porking his Christian mistress named Sue

He’ll give money to her and her husband too

When he gets charged (when he gets charged), oh, I know he’s gonna lie

He’s gonna lie ‘cause he don’t want cell #2

And if he goes there, I know he’s gonna lie

He’s gonna lie, because that’s all D’Souz can do

But they would watch two-thousand mules

And they would watch two-thousand more

Just so they can claim that votes were stolen

While living in Natives’ home

Blah blah blah blah (blah blah blah blah)

Dur dur dur yada dur yada dur yada dur dur dur

Blah blah blah blah (blah blah blah blah)

Dur dur dur yada dur yada dur yada dur dur dur

When he’s praying, well, I know he’s gonna lie

He’s gonna lie, because he’s talking to himself

And when he’s sleeping, well, I know he’s gonna lie

He’s gonna lie, because his teddy bears said so

When he speaks out (when he speaks out), well, I know he’s gonna lie

He’s gonna lie because he lies when his lips move

When he gets charged (when he gets charged), well, I know he’s gonna lie

He’s gonna lie ‘cause he don’t want cell #2

But they would watch two-thousand mules

And they would watch two-thousand more

Just so they can claim that votes were stolen

While living in Natives’ home

Blah blah blah blah (blah blah blah blah)

Dur dur dur yada dur yada dur yada dur dur dur

Blah blah blah blah (blah blah blah blah)

Dur dur dur yada dur yada dur yada dur dur dur

Blah blah blah blah (blah blah blah blah)

Dur dur dur yada dur yada dur yada dur dur dur

Blah blah blah blah (blah blah blah blah)

Dur dur dur yada dur yada dur yada dur dur dur

But they would watch two-thousand mules

And they would watch two-thousand more

Just so they can claim that votes were stolen

While living in Natives’ home

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun

The difference between "looking" and "checking out"

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i

The verdict is in. To no one's surprise, Jonathan Hoenig has been found guilty of being an idiot.

Just recently, when discussing the Michael Brown shooting and whether or not race had anything to do with it, Fox News contributor Jonathan Hoenig said, "You know who talks about race? Racists." One moment while I provide Mr. Hoenig with the well deserved slow-clap. :: slow-claps for two seconds :: So, that was quite the line by Mr. Hoenig, wasn't it? "You know who talks about race? Racists." Well, wasn't he just talking about race? So, by his own words, I guess that makes him a racist. Also, if he wants to be consistent, does this mean that people whom talk about gender are sexists and people whom talk about sexual orientation are homophobes? With that line of thinking, Hoenig would engage in the following back-and-forths: Hoenig: "So, who are you voting for?" A woman: "The Democratic candidate, because he's been adamant about his support for equal rights for women." Hoenig: "You sexist feminist nazi!"

The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

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