The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

I’ve seen this post making the rounds on social-media and decided to snarkily dissect it. Receipts included.   “Someone recently asked me why I like Trump. My answer was that I don't really like a lot of things about Trump.” I’m sensing a “but” coming. Despite the rumors, I don’t care for big buts.   “But this election is not about choosing the most likeable person.” Well, that’s part of it. One reason why Trump “won” in 2016 is because millions of formerly electorally-uninvolved citizens found Trump more likeable than Hillary Clinton. How? I'm not sure, but I digress.   “We are voting between two vastly different ideologies. We are voting for the country we want to leave our children and grandchildren.” Okay, on this we can agree. Please continue…   “Trump represents that future and has proven that he can deliver. He is a patriot to the core and even served his country for 4 years without pay.” Okay, now here is where we disagree, and that’...

Here are MAGA's talking points since the Harris/Walz ticket was formed: - Kamala Harris, who has an Afro-Jamaican father, just recently turned black - at the age of 59. - It's weirder for Vice President Harris to not have any biological children of her own than to carry around cups of supposed JD Vance jizz. - Harris has the capability of laughing like really hard, and that's just not acceptable. Laughter showcases joy and we just can't have that. - Kamala once ate a bag of Doritos. Those aren't the chips of a leader. It's all about the Lay's. - Ms. Harris had dated other men before she married her current husband. So unlady like. Trump committing adultery on all three wives; allegedly raping one; being found liable for raping someone else; and being accused of raping a 13-year-old girl? Perfectly acceptable. - Tim Walz cares about kids in schools - even going so far as to actually make sure they're being fed food, instead of bullets. So anti-2nd Amendme...

I've recently heard several MAGAs claiming Vice President Harris now supports their orange messiah's border wall. It may derive from the following Axios article, which I will now dissect. The article starts with, "If she's elected president, Kamala Harris pledges to spend hundreds of millions of dollars on the wall along the southern border — a project she once opposed and called 'un-American'  during the Trump administration." Something tells me this isn't the whole story, but I'll bite. Please continue... "Why it matters: It's the latest example of Harris flip-flopping on her past liberal positions such as supporting Medicare for All and banning fracking — proposals that aides say she now is against. - Harris is embracing a more hawkish immigration policy as Donald Trump's campaign spends tens of millions of dollars attacking her about the border. - But she still has significant differences with Trump on immigration, opposing his app...

Reporter: "From your vantage point, what is the biggest divider between the two parties? What truly sets you apart from one another?" GOP: "Easy, we're the party of law and order and they're not. They don't care about crime and we do, bigly." Reporter: "Just for the record, their nominee used to be a what?" GOP: "Prosecutor" Reporter: "...and your nominee is?" GOP: "A felon" Reporter: "Fascinating..." #TrumpIsUnfitForOffice #VoteBlueAsifYourLivesDependonit

What would you say to the American people or do if you messed up? Walz: "I'd say, 'Hey, we can't get them every time! If we fail on 1st, even second down, we'll get them on 3rd and 4th down!'" Vance: "I'd probably tell the good, decent, brilliant citizens of this great country, 'I'm sorry you feel I messed up, but that's on you. It's not me; it's you. You're stupid, no offense." Trump: "I've never messed up. I'm the second coming of Jesus. Maybe even the first coming; that's what some people are saying. The first coming of Jesus, can you believe that?" Harris: "I'd own it. I'd own it like Putin owns Trump. I'd own it and learn from it, so it doesn't happen again." #VoteKamalaHarrisAndTimWalz2024ToSaveAmerica #Snark

This is how I picture a phone conversation between Donald Trump and RFK, Jr. Trump: "Hello?" Jr.: "Did you hear that?" Trump: "Hear what?" Jr.: "That voice. It was almost like it was speaking to me." Trump: "That was me." Jr.: "Who is this?" Trump: "You called me." Jr.: "What do I call you? I don't even know who you are." Trump: "Donald Trump" Jr.: "Oh, yeah, I've been meaning to call you." Trump: "You just did." Jr.: "When?" Trump: "Just now" Jr.: "But we've been on the phone for a couple of minutes." Trump: "Okay, so a couple of minutes ago." Jr.: "A couple of minutes ago what?" Trump: "You called me." Jr.: "Who are you again?" Trump: "Donald Trump" Jr.: "THE Donald Trump?" Trump: "That's the one. I am he/him or whatever." Jr.: "I thought you hated pronouns...

Advisor: "We're slipping in polls..." Trump: "Fake numbers! Fake polls!" Advisor: "Even so, we need to shake things up a bit; grab momentum; find a way to better relate to the public." Trump: "What about that brain-worm guy?" Advisor: "Brilliant! That's perfect!" Trump: "Bigly" Advisor: "Is that 'bigly' or 'big league'?" Trump: "Yes" Advisor: "Which one?" Trump: "I just told you." Advisor: "Big league?" Trump: "Yes, but also the other one." Advisor: "Bigly?" Trump: "That too." Advisor: "Wait, what?" Trump: "So, anyway, the brain-worm guy..." #RFKJr #VoteBlueAsIfYourLivesDependOnIt

It appears I'm a MAGA-magnet this week. I was approached by another Trumper last night. Here was the conversation: Him: "Are you for Trump?" Me: No Him: "Oh, so you're a libturd?" Me: Sure Him: "How old are you?" Me: 43 Him: "Oh, well, you still have years to evolve." Me: What? To be MAGA? That'd be 'devolve.' Him: "What's better now than it was 4 years ago? What about the border?" Me: Actually, our undocumented-immigrant numbers have been incredibly consistent since around 2005, I believe. Him: "What about now? Hundreds of thousands of immigrants are being flown here every day." Me: That's not true. Him: "Well, what's Biden done to help? He has an open-border policy." Me: No, he doesn't. He fought for a bipartisan border-security bill, which was authored by a conservative Republican. Who killed it? Donald Trump, because he was afraid the passage and signage of it would hurt him po...

A conversation I had with a Trumper last night... Him: "I like Mellencamp's music. Sucks he's a stupid liberal Democrat, though." Me: What's your beef with Democrats? Him: "Are you a Democrat?" Me: Yes. Him: "You need to change your ways." Me: Why's that? Him: "You actually like Kamala?" Me: I do. Him: "You need to change your ways. She's a communist-Marxist-socialist." Me: Those terms aren't identical. Do you actually know what they mean? Him: "Yeah" Me: Okay, what do they mean? Him: "What about inflation?" Me: What about it? Him: "She had 3.5 years to do something about it, and nothing." Me: That's not true. First off, she's Vice President, not President. Secondly, she broke the Senate tie to pass the Inflation Reduction Act. Not a single Republican voted for it." Him: "Yeah, inflation" Me: Inflation was 9.1% and is 2.9% today. Him: "That's bullshit....

Ron Johnson: "The House is going to investigate it now - it's very strange. He (Walz) got married on the anniversary of Tiananmen Square. He's gone to China. He's taught in China. He's got deep connections to China." Is that so? Well, Ron Johnson married Jane Cutler on August 20, 1977. This day marked the: 384-year anniversary of 'The Massacre of the Innocents' 358-year anniversary of the start of slavery in North America 9-year anniversary of Soviet and Warsaw troops invading Czechoslovakia Very strange. A thorough investigation is warranted, bigly. #MAGACultMorons #VoteKamalaAndTim2024

Ron Johnson: "The House is going to investigate it now - it's very strange. He (Walz) got married on the anniversary of Tiananmen Square. He's gone to China. He's taught in China. He's got deep connections to China." Does he REALLY want to go there? Very well. I'll play along. Donald Trump married Ivana Zelníčková on April 9, 1977. This day marked the 37-year anniversary of when Adolf Hitler sent Germany to invade Denmark and Norway. Donald Trump then married Marla Maples on December 20, 1993. This was the 133-year anniversary of when the South Carolina General Assembly voted 169-0 to secede from the United States, and declare itself an "independent commonwealth." It was quickly followed by other Southern states, which triggered the Civil War. Most recently, Donald Trump married Melania Knauss on January 22, 2005. The day marked the 100-year anniversary of 'Bloody Sunday' in St. Petersburg, Russia. I don't know about you, but that...

I really hope Trump goes after Harris for being too tough on criminals when she was a prosecutor. Trump: "I got to tell you, Caramello, you were a bit too tough there on people when you were a prose-whatever." Harris: "I thought you were in the 'law & order' party." Trump: "I am." Harris: "34x-convicted felon says what?" #TrumpIsNotFitToBePresident #VoteBlueToStopACriminalDictator

I had a rather surreal experience over the weekend. Before I delve into what happened, I'll provide some backstory.  In 1996, when I was 15 years old and a sophomore in high school, I was introduced to a musician, via 101.9 The Edge in Omaha, who actually spoke to me. That musician was none other than Marilyn Manson. You can read the more detailed reason(s) why his music and interviews connected with me in a blog I'll provide here in parentheses ( https://thekind-heartedsmartaleck.blogspot.com/2021/01/how-music-saved-my-life.html ), but I'll now give you the condensed version of events. In the summer of '89, when I was just 8 years old, a babysitter, big-brother type, and I thought friend stopped by to play Ice Hockey with me on the original Nintendo. My mom was away at Vacation Bible School; my brother was at a friend's; and my dad was in the basement, watching television. While my babysitter and I were playing the game, I won't go into details here, but he se...

Since Trump recently called 'Pennsylvania' "North Carolina," if he were to hold a rally in every state, here's what I predict he'd call them. Alabama: Al Bundy Alaska: Fantasia Arizona: End Zone Arkansas: Noah's Ark California: The Specific Ocean Colorado: White, Snowy Shit Connecticut: Connect Four Delaware: Delta-Northwest Florida: Fluoride Georgia: George of the Jungle Hawaii: Wi-Fi Idaho: My Kinda Women Illinois: Ellen Indiana: New Delhi Iowa: Wah Wah Wah Wah Kansas: Dust in the Wind Kentucky: Tennessee Louisiana: The Land Down Under Maine: Street Maryland: Crab Shack Massachusetts: Massholes Michigan: Michelin Minnesota: Canada Mississippi: Mixed CDs Missouri: Misery Montana: Joe Nebraska: Aksarben Nevada: Penny Sluts New Hampshire: Northern Hemisphere New Jersey: Not Worth As Much As An Old Jersey New Mexico: New Drug Dealers and Rapists, and I Assume Some Are New Good People New York: Central Pork North Carolina: North Korea North Dakota: The Other ...

Here's how I picture Donald Trump and J.D. Vance strategizing, once the Kamala Harris-Tim Walz ticket was formed. Vance: "So, what do we do, your highness?" Trump: "Well, first off, Kamala's not black, not really. I mean, she's maybe a little darker than you, but she's about the same as me, and my skin is natural. Who knows what she's done to her's? It's like she just turned black overnight. I've been this color for as long as I can remember. So, at least 2 weeks." Vance: "Brilliant! Also, as you've mentioned..." Trump: "She's stupid." Vance: "Not only that, but her..." Trump: "She laughs. Who laughs? What's there to laugh about? Laughers are weak. That's why I never laugh. What else?" Vance: "How about we attack veteran Walz? Everyone loves when we support attacking our troops." Trump: "I'm so glad I picked you as my VP! Yes! Bigly! Also, since I've alread...