Harris vs. Trump
1968
Harris: Was 4 years old and on her way to earning millions on her own
Trump: Was 22 years old and being given $1M a year in untaxed gifts from his father, whom he allegedly called “Motherf*cker”
1973
Harris: As the daughter of an Afro-Jamaican father, many wondered if she was turning black or merely just going through a black phase
Trump: Was called out by the Department of Justice for discriminating against potential black tenants of Trump Organization apartments
1983
Harris: Attended Howard University, where she led the debate team; chaired the economics society; and completed an internship at the Federal Trade Commission
Trump: Hired 200 illegal Polish immigrant workers to demolish the Bonwit Teller flagship store and, in its place, build Trump Tower – all while wanting to build a wall between the United States and Poland
1986-1987
Harris: Graduated from Howard University with a degree in political science and economics
Trump: Tried to get the Wollman Rink named after him. It’s still called the Wollman Rink.
1989
Harris: Graduated with a Juris Doctor from the University of California College of the Law, San Francisco. Odds are Trump will use this bit of information to get anti-Semitic and attack Vice President Harris for being a “Jewish doctor.”
Trump: Raped his ex-wife, Ivana
1990-1991
Harris: Was hired as a Deputy District Attorney in Alameda County, California
Trump: Just a year after opening, Trump Taj Mahal went bankrupt. Trump himself went morally bankrupt long before then.
1992
Harris: Hadn’t had to file for bankruptcy once
Trump: Trump Castle Hotel, Trump Plaza Casino, and Trump Plaza Hotel all filed for bankruptcy. Trump Airlines crashed as well. This was the point when Trump started to be known as the “Business Genius.”
1994
Harris: Was appointed to the state Unemployment Insurance Appeals Board and the California Medical Assistance Commission
Trump: Was in the process of receiving over $400M his daddy made through fraud and tax evasion, all while being accused of raping a 13-year-old girl
1995-1996
Harris: Was getting ready to force rapists into prison, without consent
Trump: Raped E. Jean Carroll
1997-1998
Harris: Was recruited as an assistant district attorney and became the chief of the Career Criminal Division
Trump: Trumpnet pretty much lost connection even before it started
2000
Harris: Ran the Family and Children’s Services Division at San Francisco City Hall, representing child abuse and neglect cases
Trump: Was allegedly walking in on Miss Teen USA pageant contestants while they were dressing and undressing. If that’s not gross enough for you, he also wants to bang his own daughter.
2003
Harris: Was still 18 years younger than Trump
Trump: Trump Mortgage hit the scene, and was foreclosed upon shortly thereafter
2004
Harris: Accomplished a feat Trump never has outside of a jury – won a popular vote, becoming the District Attorney of San Francisco as a result
Trump: Trump Hotels & Casino Resorts went… I’ll give you a clue – it rhymes with ‘tankrupt’
2005-2006
Harris: Was awarded the Thurgood Marshall Award
Trump: Trump Tower Tampa, like Trump’s wall, never got fully built. Odds are it was built of Styrofoam and blew over during Tropical Storm Light Breeze.
2007
Harris: Won reelection
Trump: Trump Steaks got burned after 3 months on the grill. The GoTrump travel site went a similar path after 1 year – it’s unknown if it was on a grill as well.
2009
Harris: Achieved an 87% conviction rate for homicides and a 90% conviction rate for felony gun-related crimes
Trump: Trump Magazine was discontinued. The guy always had a face made for radio. Not only that, Trump Entertainment Resorts went bankrupt. Jebus, how many times has this guy bankrupted companies?!?
2011
Harris: Won another popular vote – this time making her the Attorney General of California
Trump: Trump Vodka evaporated. Only Putin and his fellow Comrades seem to know what happened. He also donated $5,000 to Attorney General Kamala Harris. Best investment he ever made.
2012
Harris: Enforced the National Mortgage Settlement, providing cash relief for foreclosed homeowners and holding major banks accountable; mandated that 7 major companies better inform users of their privacy policies; and signed an accord with Mexico Attorney General Marisela Morales to improve the coordination of law enforcement resources in targeting transnational gangs
Trump: Was still wondering how he lost $1B two years prior
2013-2014
Harris: Won reelection. I’m beginning to notice a trend.
Trump: Donated $1,000 to Attorney General Kamala Harris. Second best investment he ever made.
2017-2018
Harris: Won yet another popular vote – this time to become a U.S. Senator, and quickly made Republicans nervous with her questioning of them in hearings. Poor little snowflakes.
Trump: Settled to pay $25M to attendees of the fraudulent Trump University. I love when Trump gets schooled by the poorly-educated.
2019
Harris: Was/Became a member of the following committees: Committee on the Budget; Subcommittee on Federal Spending Oversight and Emergency Management; Subcommittee on Regulatory Affairs and Federal Management; Select Committee on Intelligence; Subcommittee on the Constitution; Subcommittee on Oversight, Agency Action, Federal Rights and Federal Courts; Subcommittee on Privacy, Technology and the Law; Congressional Asian Pacific American Caucus; Congressional Black Caucus; and Congressional Caucus for Women’s Issues
Trump: Fined $2M for misusing charity foundation. I'll give Trump this - he is the limbo king. Whenever I think he can't get any lower, he proves me wrong.
2020
Harris: Worked on bills pertaining to: bail reform, election security, and workplace harassment, before helping Joe Biden defeat Donald Trump in the presidential election, bigly
Trump: Suggested injecting disinfectant could rid a person of COVID. 5 out of 5 dentists, doctors, anyone with an IQ above 70 disagree. He also said COVID would disappear 38 times. Spoiler alert: Never happened.
2021
Harris: Broke a 50-50 Senate tie to proceed with debate on the American Rescue Plan
Trump: Was still crying like a newborn baby about his election loss
2022
Harris: Broke a 50-50 Senate tie to pass the Inflation Reduction Act
Trump: Still didn't know what 'tariffs' were
2023
Harris: Continued with her record-breaking 33 tie-breaking votes in the Senate
Trump: Was indicted more times than he can count
2024
Harris: Was nominated to become the Democratic candidate for the presidential election
Trump: Found liable for fraud, ordered to pay $355M in penalties. His father's name was Fred. I feel a tongue-twister coming on here: Fraud Fred fathered felonious f*ckstick fraud Drumpf. He was also convicted on 34 felony counts of falsifying business records with intent to defraud. Oh, and in addition to that, he was charged with 54 other felonies. Well, that's disappointing. And here I thought he was such a fine, good-hearted, upstanding citizen...
#VoteHarrisWalz2024 #VoteKamalaHarrisAndTimWalz2024ToSaveAmerica
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