The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck

Ignored Is My Love Opening up to you, Placing my heart in your grasp, Firmly implanted, Confident of your care and love, My feelings bottled up for so long, A weight is finally released, Slowly floating to the clouds, Feeling light again, Happiness comes upon me, Anxious to hear your response, With a bounce in my step, A sparkle in my eyes, Not having felt this way in so long, Being fearful of love, I long for your acceptance, Long for your love, Not a word is uttered, Not a sound is made, Unaware of my heart’s standing, As you quickly walk away, A sadness dawns upon me, Confusion runs rampant, Not knowing what to think, At the sound of silence, Ignored are my thoughts, Ignored are my feelings, Ignored is my heart, Ignored is my being, Ignored from your life, Pushed far away, Whether out of fear or being “nice,” I’m ignored all the same.

LETTING-ambivalence-GO Water fills my eyes, As I know it’s not to be, That I can do better, That this is best for me, Your flaws spring to mind, Of what I didn’t care for, Distorting my image of you, Denying my true feelings, The self-persuasion fails, As tears begin to run down my cheeks, Knowing it’s best to part ways, Yet wishing that wasn’t to be, The distorted image unravels, As I dream of you at night, Good memories abound, As I again begin to cry, Constantly running through my mind, You never fatigue, Wanting the marathon to finally conclude, Erase you from my memory, Holding your hand, Squeezing it tightly, Not wanting to let go, Even though it’s best for me.

The Neverending Nightmare Trusting of your words, Believing in the ultimate good of people, Forgiving of your lies, Since you admitted them to me, Perfect timing, Like a romance novel, Desperate for affection, Desperate for love, To deny the inevitable, I seek a companion, To set at ease my fears, As nearing is the operation, Trusting of your eyes, As they stare deeply into mine, Illustrating certitude with your claims, Never suspecting them to be lies, Pulled up beside me, Flashing lights all around, Ignorant of the situation, Ignorant that something’s wrong, Taken away are you, Taken away am I, You back to your home, Me anywhere but, Slowly unraveling the truth, Constant questions approach me, Discovering your words to be lies, Not being who you claimed to be, Locked into a dungeon, Secluded and speechless, Awaiting the nightmare to conclude, But soon realizing it’s no dream, Trusting of your love, I shall never trust again, The nightmare l...

The Wait The question proposed, Tests conducted, Application filled, Interview given, Hypotheticals abound, Preparing for the best and worst, Cautiously confident, Yet doubts persist, The phone sits beside me, My eyes focused on it, As I nibble on my nails, Rock on my chair, The minutes become hours, Hours become days, Thoughts racing upstairs, Being unable to sleep, Paranoia sweeps over me, Optimism all but extinct, Headaches becoming more frequent, From the continual increase in tension, The phone never rings, The wait seemingly permanent, Answers and reasons not provided, Forever being a mystery.

Solitary Confinement Cold and dark, Surrounded by silence, My eyes wander, Heart’s pounding, A whisper in the distance, My ears perk, Desperate for a sound, For an interaction, My eyes close tightly, Concentrating on nothing, Hoping for signs of life, Hoping for something, The whisper begins to fade, As my mouth shuts, No longer feeling the need to speak, To deny myself of reality, I pray for a voice, Pray for a face, Pray for human contact, Pray for anything but this, Surrounded by the bars, Unable to be free, In solitary confinement I am, As I walk about the streets.

I wrote a poem a couple weeks back, entitled "Beat". Since then, it has generated the most hits and comments of any writing of mine. The comments have all been very positive and the poem was even declared the winner of a contest. What I've especially found fascinating are the different interpretations of the poem. As it was intended upon writing the piece, I did want to integrate ambiguity as I often times do, so I'm not at all surprised with the different interpretations. However, none of the interpretations have coincided with what my main vision was. The poem reads as follows: Beat Sheltered from this world, Protected from potential harm, Fearful of being released, Wanting to maintain its innocence, As it begins to mature, Innocence slowly fades, Longing for a sense of freedom, To make its own decisions, Finally out in the world, Released to the masses, Curiosity at its peak, Expanding with every experience, Handed to another, Trusting of thei...

Dreaming Myself To Sleep So distant a memory, The images are blurred, Events discontinuous, Details forgotten, Time has lapsed in such great quantity, It shall be like a first once again, Quivering at the very thought, Yet desirous for it to happen, To feel her lips upon mine, Feel her warm breath, Wake up to her smile, Feel my heart pound in her presence, To trust her with my thoughts, Trust her with my secrets, Trust her with my heart, Trust her with my feelings, Tempted through the years, To experience pleasure void of love, Never giving in, Even as I sit and cry alone, Will it be worth the wait? Will it be worth the isolation? Love being absent from my life, Uncertain of its re-emergence, I fall asleep at night, The images become clear, Events continuous, Wishing my dreams were real, I awaken the next morning, Let out a heavy sigh, Realizing the clear images were that of fiction, As I look forward to sleeping again that night.

Rain In My Eyes When I awake in the morning, Whether the skies be clear or clouded, A smile comes across my face, As I hope to be a ray of sunshine to others, Helping an elderly woman with groceries, A blind man reach his destination, A friend in need, A child find his parents, Never expecting the kind gestures, Speech minimal in response, Uncertain of what to do, The lone word emanating from their mouths is thanks, Not expecting anything in return, I still cling to hope, That another voluntarily does similar for me, Reaching out without my asking, I look back for help, But find no one, All looking after themselves, As I stand alone, I walk the streets with my head sunken, The clouds plentiful and ominous, A few sprinkles are then felt, Before a pouring rain comes crashing down, I gaze up at the sky, Looking for that ray of sunshine, My eyes begin to burn from the downpour, Coalescing with the tears in my eyes.

Yoda Wannabes An answer to all, The question of no relevance, Speaking with the utmost certitude, Nevermind their lack of maturity or intelligence, With black-and-white lenses, Dissenters shall be dismissed, Gray being absent, Conflicting logic and numbers useless, Speaking from the top of a tower, Preparing to make a speech, Looking down at a host of dots, At all those deemed destitute and weak, With a microphone in hand, Speakers surrounding the city, Knowing all should hear him, They not being given a chance to speak, As his voice begins to emerge, All other sounds are drowned out, Preferable to him, As he falls in love with himself, Please spread about your infinite wisdom, Utilizing a thesaurus and dictionary - enlighten me, Attempting to fool the masses of your intelligence, Being nothing but a Yoda wannabe.

In light of my poem (and myself) being attacked mostly due to a misinterpretation of it and a friend of mine being told that her poem wasn't actually a poem, I wrote a blog and posted it on that site, which reads as follows:  It seems that some people like to believe they have the answers to all of life's questions, that the grey matter in others' eyes is black and white to them. There is no uncertainty in their minds. If another disagrees with their opinion (fact according to them), it's inevitable that the other individual is mistaken. There are certain scenarios where this is understandable, I suppose. If Person A contends that 4 + 4 = 7, Person B can speak matter-of-factly that Person A is incorrect. However, I don't understand how that black-and-white form of thinking can be directly applied to the world of art, which I (and others I know) have run into recently. In recent days, I have been witness to two people (there are many others, I'm su...

As I've mentioned before, I've joined a number of social networking sites and writers' communities in recent days and weeks to help spread word about my writing and in particular, my books. It's been a mixed bag thus far, but I've been fairly pleased overall. Up till yesterday morning, I had received just one negative review. It was with regard to a comedic excerpt from my most recent book(s), entitled "Girlfriend Application". It had been read by many people and everyone whom commented on it gave it glowing reviews, most of the reviewers being women. Even a 75-80-year old woman (she may actually be older than that) laughed pretty hard when reading the excerpt. BUT, one woman called me an a*shole and that the excerpt made me come across as an a*shole, rude and obnoxious. Yet, she said she didn't like it as much as she thought she did, which would thereby mean she liked it to a certain extent, right? I don't know. ::shrugs::. In any case, that was t...

Rejection = Motivation Rejected by you, Sadness comes upon me, Speculating as to why, Constant hindsight questioning, I look in the mirror the next morning, And don’t like what I see, I walk away with my head sunken, Embarrassed to be me, Night finally arrives, The day of agony behind me, Yet when I close my eyes, Only visions of you do I see, As each morning passes, And every night ends, The image in the mirror alters, My head begins to rise again, Able to take a step back, Garner a new perspective, Seeing what all went awry, Discovering I was the victim, Finally able to look in the mirror and smile, Standing proud with my head held high, Walking with a new-found spirit, With a new-found motivation in life, Rejected by you, Now grateful for that, Knowing I can do better, You’re the one missing out, Rejected by you, Void of your games and dishonesty, Later regretting your decision, As I look back at you laughing.

It’s Not You; It’s Me One failure after another, Similar trends are noticed, In the women I fall for, In how the relationships go, Bad luck is one possibility, But why so consistent? Bad taste is another, But that’s not the constant, I’m the constant, The common denominator, The only reasonable solution, The inevitable perpetrator, I give generously, Receive minimal in return, Yet I put forth every last effort, Trying to make things work, I open myself up, Make myself vulnerable, Hoping for reciprocation, But silence is what I get in return, A stabbing pain in my chest I feel, As she walks away without a hitch, Thinking she felt the same, Blinded by my innermost thoughts and feelings, How I want to blame them all, But it’s not them; it’s me, I’m the guilty; I’m at fault, I only need to glance in the mirror to see, As my head hits the pillow, Anger and sadness fill my being, Knowing I’m the one to blame, Only wanting for another to love me.

Born To Be Alone Born into this world, All alone, Tears streaming down my face, Knowing no one, Illness isolates me, Abuse holds me in tatters, Shyness makes it all the more difficult, Alone I feel at home, at church, in class, Fearful of talking to women, Fearful of rejection, Fearful of opening up to others, Alone I am in the end, When I awake in the morning, Go to sleep at night, I hear the crickets chirp, Not another soul in sight, Alone as I walk the street, Alone at a bar, Alone when out to eat, Alone in my car, Working at the computer, Not a sound to be heard, Hearing the wind gusts in the distance, Hearing my own heart beat, I sit in silence, An all too familiar feeling, Giving up on love, Yet wishing another was with me, An adult in this world, All alone, Tears streaming down my face, Knowing no one, One failed attempt after another, The pessimism mounts, Born to be alone, As I cry in the night.

Too Close, But Not Close Enough Her: Come here a minute, Wait. No. Stop. That’s good - right there, How about a hug? I want to tell you something, Come closer, Back up, “I love when we’re together,” I always have so much fun when with you, You always make me smile, Sorry I can’t go out this weekend, Sorry I didn’t call you back last night, Me: I love when we’re together, You always make me smile, I always have so much fun when with you, I always call you back, I want to feel my lips upon yours, Your hand in mine, Hold you tightly, Wake up next to you with a smile, My lips inches from yours, Yet never they touch, Forever getting close, But not close enough.

So, I just won a poetry contest. Yay! Well, okay, so perhaps it's more of a "prestige" thing, because I didn't win any money. We all know how famous many contemporary poets are too, so I've got that going for me. Aw yeah! Perhaps I should enter some where I can actually win money, even just $5. I can then brag to the ladies at bars, "Hey baby, did you know I just won $5 at a poetry contest? So... wanna go out sometime?" That will win her over! The poem that won it is one of my recent efforts: Beat Sheltered from this world, Protected from potential harm, Fearful of being released, Wanting to maintain its innocence, As it begins to mature, Innocence slowly fades, Longing for a sense of freedom, To make its own decisions, Finally out in the world, Released to the masses, Curiosity at its peak, Expanding with every experience, Handed to another, Trusting of their care, Full of life and joy, Fears, worries and doubts spared, No long...

Okay, so this is stupid to complain about, right? Fantasy sports? Who cares? I agree. But, I'm done with my work for today (well, most of it), am bored, in need of a break and I just got word from a buddy of mine about the football team we drafted yesterday and just feel like venting for a moment. Alright, so, the only reason I play fantasy sports is because an old buddy of mine in Omaha loves it and it's a way he and I can stay in touch with one another. So, from that standpoint, it's nice. It always gives us something to talk about and reason to write or call each other. Both of us have had pretty good success with baseball. We used to team up, but now have separate teams. We've in two of the same leagues. I'm in 1st place in both leagues and he's in 3rd and 5th, respectively (out of 8 and 12 teams). One league we call the "normal" league, because it's a pretty straight-forward fantasy baseball league. The people don't get cheap, don'...

Well, as I mentioned in a blog yesterday, I received a comment on my book excerpt "Girlfriend Application," which basically laid claim that I'm an a*shole and she then went on to give me a pointer on how to not come across as such an a*shole. She also referred to me as "rude" and "obnoxious". I love the word choice she used in her comment, as she kind of came across as rude, obnoxious and the other word as well. Eh, whatever. Anyway, so I was Mr. A*shole last night. I then checked out the social networking sites I have posted written work of mine on this morning and at GSPoetry.com, I received a comment from a woman with regard to my poem, "Better Than Sex". Let me share the poem first. Here it is: To look into your eyes, Feel your hand in mine, To see you laugh, See you smile, To hold you tightly, Hear you breathe, Rub your back, Watch you sleep, To buy you gifts, Take you out, Write you poems, Joke around, To wash the dis...

The Invisible Man To thou whom I speak, To thou whom I pray, To thou whom I listen, Every minute of every day, When I rise in the morning, Go to sleep at night, I know you’re wit me, My guiding light, I look to you for answers, Look to you for love, To look after my children, Look after myself, With me when I drive to work, When I return home, With me at every waking moment, With me until I’m gone, One day I will rise to be with you, See my family and friends, Be rewarded for my everlasting faith, Be forever saved, I’ve never seen your face, Nor heard your voice, Yet I adamantly declare, To know of your presence, I don’t believe in ghosts, Yet hold no doubts of your existence, Having never seen either, Absent of any evidence, The invisible man is coming, Believe in him or else, He will strike ye down to the fiery pit, A ghost sending you to hell.

Middle School As of the first day, Cliques are formed, The bullies and jocks, Geeks and band nerds, Slammed into the lockers, Fearing the halls, Forced to do the bullies’ homework, Getting pushed against a wall, The teasing is constant, Hatred and enemies result, The principal wanting to stay out of the way, Fearful, having been bullied in the past, When their faces aren’t buried in the books, They become hesitant, Indecisive, Irrelevant, Unable to make up their minds, Which way is north and which way is south, Speechless when around girls, In social situations feeling nothing but doubt, The bullies roam the halls, Their heads held high, Knowing they’re above the law, For them, there are no rules or guidelines, They spread rumors, With no basis in fact, Pointing their fingers and laughing, Ready to go on the attack, Lining up militarily, In cohesion with one another, As the nerds scatter about, Not standing by each other, The bullies approach r...

Beauty Defined The fine golden hair, White shiny teeth, Hourglass figure, The definition of beauty, With eyes as blue as the sky, Full, luscious lips, Strong legs like that of an athlete, The definition of beauty, Silence fills the room as she enters, Heads turn instantly, Mouths agape, The definition of beauty, With all attention on her, She opens her mouth, Stumbles over her words, In a cringe-inducing sound, She lays in bed that night, Her face firmly implanted on the pillow, A sadness comes upon her, As eyes are not on her, A woman wakes up the next morning, Appearing pasty and obese, Preparing to educate our children, The definition of beauty, Words emanate smoothly from her mouth, Tending to our children’s needs, Exuding intelligence, confidence and dedication, The definition of beauty.

Alright, so, as I've made mention in recent days, I've joined quite a number of social networking sites to spread word of my writing/books. As I mentioned in my most recent blog, it's been a mixed bag. Two sites I'm not longer a part of: AllPoetry.com (3-day free membership) and Litsay.com, which I'm now going to tell you all about. This site appears to be rather new and up-and-coming. With that, there are a few gliches that need to be fixed. It's fairly modern looking and isn't THAT active, but decent activity for such a new site. So, like I've done with all the other sites I've joined, I started sharing excerpts of my two books, Seasons Come, People Grow and The Kind-Hearted Smarta*s. I shared 3 poems and 3 excerpts from my sarcastic book. I received one comment on an excerpt of mine from the latter book, entitled "Girlfriend Application," where I jokingly concoct an application for potential girlfriends. I list 20 fill-ins and write ...

I've joined quite a number of social networking sites in the past couple weeks or so, trying to spread word about my writing/books. It's been a very mixed bag so far. I've gotten a decent feel for each of them now and thought I'd spread word about each of them in case anyone out there was curious to give a site other than Facebook, MySpace or Twitter a gander. DirectFolk.com: This is a fairly inactive site. I've updated my page regularly, with a Facebook-like status and blog posts with excerpts from either my poetry or my smart aleck book. I received two "likes," but haven't seen much activity outside of my own. The only benefit of posting work on the site is that it appears in a Google search. That's about the only plus I see with it, however. Kiwibox.com: This is very similar to DirectFolk.com. It loads a little faster and there appears to be even less activity on this site than the before-mentioned one, if that's possible. Again, the onl...

Well, I joined a couple more social networking sites in recent days to further spread word about my writing and the comments/reviews have been pouring in (all but the last are poem): "INsecurity Level Orange" - "I sense a sadness in this, then in the end I feel hope come rushing in. Quite the wonderful read here." "No Pain" - "WOW, very powerful emotioins in this, sorry for the hurt, but your emotions flowed so nicely down the page." "The Big Gamble" - "Casino's in Vegas, casino love in the balance, what a combination and metaphor on love. Nicely expressed emotions." "Just a Friend" - "Ah, this is such a wonderful, sentimental piece. I really like this write. It's so warm and filled with compassion, nicely done." "Break-up Operation (B.O.)" "Ah, this one tugs on the heart. I like this - made me ponder a bit on love." "Fantasyland"...

Just a Friend Always finds a way to see me, Flirts time and time again, She stares deeply into my eyes, I’m just a friend, She laughs at all my jokes, Smiles when I’m near, Playfully touches me when close, I’m just a friend, Never afraid to send compliments my way, Shows interest in anything I say or do, Tells her closest friends and family about me, I’m just a friend, Charming, Thoughtful, Sweet, Personable, Funny, Smart, Good-looking, Talented, Tells me no man has ever treated her so well, That she wishes she could be so lucky, That I’d be a prize for any woman, I’m just a friend, A connection felt every time she’s near, A sense of longing for one another, As I float high above the clouds, Anytime we’re together, Signs of attraction, Signs of interest, Oblivious to the obvious, I’m just a friend.

The Big Gamble To Vegas I go, Naively optimistic, Hoping to get lucky, That one-in-a-million, Flying over the desert, In a pitch black sky, Before my eyes widen, To a city of lights, I walk into the casino, With plenty of cash, Ready to play the odds, To take a chance, I pull on the lever, Envision bar-bar-bar, Never hearing that winning sound, As I waste a few more dollars, I then look at my hand, Study the eyes of others, Make my risky move, Try not to give away my bluff, The wheel spins, Hoping for red, A 50/50 chance, Failing in the end, Trying to make up for my losses, By making bigger bets, The losses continue to mount, Falling further in debt, Going to Vegas, Full of hope, My head sinks, As I leave with nothing, Gambling my money, Gambling my possessions, Gambling my life, Gambling my happiness, Taking the big gamble, Going all in, Giving you my heart, Giving love a chance.

No Pain A sore throat, A hamstring strain, A broken nose, I feel no pain, An ear infection, An ankle sprain, A jammed finger, I feel no pain, A stiff back, A sunburnt face, A violent cough, I feel no pain, My body aches, Morning, noon and night, A doctor tells me I’m sick, I feel no pain, I catch you with another man, Screaming his name, A dagger inserted in my chest, I feel numb, A knot forms in my stomach, I feel betrayed, The pounding of my heart, As it shatters and breaks, The love I hold for you, Carries with it more weight, Than every ache and illness, I now feel pain, I feel it in my stomach, I feel it in my chest, I feel it in my throat, With every last breath, The pain runs sharp, The pain runs deep, As you made the cut, And let me bleed.

Break-up Operation (B.O.) A sadness dawns upon me, As we part ways, Cognizant that all is lost, Tears streaming down my face, Immediate attempts made, To hold and love you again, Solely positive memories spring to mind, All others temporarily forgotten, The sadness transitions to anger, The other memories admitted, Remembering her mistakes, Self-blame projected, I suddenly have no worry or care, Indifference reigns supreme, Walking about with a shrug of the shoulders, Delusionally noticing a change in me, I wake up one morning, And miss you so, Not seeing you beside me, Not being there to love and hold Thoughts continue to linger, The tears, anger and shrugs absent, Doubts of my romantic future emerge, Wondering if I’ll ever love again.

To look into your eyes, Feel your hand in mine, To see you laugh, See you smile, To hold you tightly, Hear you breathe, Rub your back, Watch you sleep, To buy you gifts, Take you out, Write you poems, Joke around, To wash the dishes, Cook and clean, Talk to you after work, Do the laundry, To take care of the kids, Take care of the dogs, Go on errands, Shop at the mall, To feel your lips upon mine, A soft and gentle touch, Filled with passion, Filled with love, To fall asleep in your arms, Relaxation at its peak, Waking up filled with joy, As you lay right beside me, To make you laugh, To make you smile, To make you happy, That’s all I want.

The Blame Catching her in another lie, With another man, Late as usual, It’s all my fault, A bad day at work, Her mother getting fired, Her softball team losing, It’s all my fault, A blizzard in March, A flood in the street, The power going out, It’s all my fault, Gas prices rising, A flight delay, A bad waiter, It’s all my fault, I look in the mirror, See who’s to blame, For all our problems, For our parting ways, It’s all my fault, You said so yourself, To rid yourself of guilt, Until you look in the mirror.

So, I've attempted to spread word about my writing, two books in particular (Seasons Come, People Grow and The Kind-Hearted Smartass), to 11 difference social networking-type sites: 1) Facebook, 2) Google, 3) Blogger, 4) DirectFolk, 5) Kiwibox, 6) Tumblr, 7) Lafango, 8) WattPad, 9) WritersCafe, 10) All Poetry and 11) GS Poetry. All of the commentary I have received thus far, mainly regarding my poetry, has been very positive. I did receive one strange comment on GS Poetry. The poem this person commented on is called "The Shield" and he/she didn't comment on the poem at all, but went on a tangent about what love is. Yeah, that was strange. I wanted to ask, "Soooo...? Did you like it?" However, I did just receive my first criticism and it's with regard to a poem I wrote recently, entitled "Fear in Question". The person critiqued it as having not clear enough a concept. I then discovered this person to be 15 years old and after reading some of his...

I JUST wrote this new poem of mine, "Beat," posted it to some websites and have already received a review. The commentator said: "This is such a powerful write, I felt intensity with this. So nicely done." Here is the poem: Sheltered from this world, Protected from potential harm, Fearful of being released, Wanting to maintain its innocence, As it begins to mature, Innocence slowly fades, Longing for a sense of freedom, To make its own decisions, Finally out in the world, Released to the masses, Curiosity at its peak, Expanding with every experience, Handed to another, Trusting of their care, Full of life and joy, Fears, worries and doubts spared, No longer protected, No longer innocent, Beating with desire, Beating with passion, Looked at momentarily, Before being thrown to the ground, Slowly breaking, Being kicked and stomped upon, Released unto her, Beating with life, Broken and crushed, The beating has stopped.

Beat Sheltered from this world, Protected from potential harm, Fearful of being released, Wanting to maintain its innocence, As it begins to mature, Innocence slowly fades, Longing for a sense of freedom, To make its own decisions, Finally out in the world, Released to the masses, Curiosity at its peak, Expanding with every experience, Handed to another, Trusting of their care, Full of life and joy, Fears, worries and doubts spared, No longer protected, No longer innocent, Beating with desire, Beating with passion, Looked at momentarily, Before being thrown to the ground, Slowly breaking, Being kicked and stomped upon, Released unto her, Beating with life, Broken and crushed, The beating has stopped.

Saying-NO-Problem Without pause, Without thought, I reach for another, With no qualms, With no worries, With no fears, Unable to drink just one, For years upon years, Hidden in my pockets, So my family doesn’t see, Pretending they don’t know, Even when I slur and can’t hold steady, Crabby when they’re away, Unable to focus, Unable to go about a day, Without consuming several, I can stop at any time, There’s really no problem, As I pass out time and again, Until I never awaken.

Slurred Vision I reach for the bottle, Promising myself only one, For a sense of relaxation, After a long day’s work, Upon finishing the drink, I feel no change, No decrease in stress or worries, Everything is exactly the same, I reach for a second bottle, A third and a fourth, Adding in a shot of Whiskey, This should do the trick, A relaxation finally sets in, A buzz helps me to forget, My day at work, My fears, worries and stress, The room then starts to spin, My vision is blurred, Unable to get up, My speech is slurred, Drunk in seclusion, I try to cry out, Having pushed everyone aside, Everyone except the bottle.

Inner Conflict of the Unknown As I look up, I’m unable to see his presence, Nowhere to be seen near or far, Being physically absent, I cannot hear his voice, Even in the still of the night, As the crickets chirp, I listen for a sign, Children being abused, Families in poverty, Wars being waged, How could he let this be? His benevolence can be questioned, Omniscience too, Omnipotence appears unlikely, Yet I wish it were true, An angel looking down upon me, Making certain I’m alright, There to reward me after I pass, Welcoming me into the next life, Yet doubt lingers over me, As I walk the streets at night, People lying in them passed out, Having given up on this life, Unable to prove he exists, Unable to prove he’s absent, Doubting with all my mind, Hoping with all my heart.

Fear in Question Standing in front of the mirror, Practicing my lines, Looking straight ahead, Trying to get things right, Appearing confident, Feeling ready, Due to get the part, Tired of waiting, To the set I travel, Tensions begin to mount, My confidence suddenly waning, Debating if I should back out, With the lines memorized, Persistent to the end, Before I arrive on set, And begin my audition, Fear suddenly comes over me, As I forget my lines, Being unable to concentrate, As I look into her eyes, Seemingly perfect for the part, She appears ready to give things a chance, Having waited for so long, I can’t stand the thought of rejection, So close to my goal, Yet unable to finish, Letting her get away, All for fearing the question.

A Speck I walk down the street, See what I know, The world in front of me, Feeling well and tall, A squirrel climbs a tree, A child runs around, Mosquitoes, flies, bees, Some ants on the ground, I stop and stand back, Garnering a better perspective, Of the world I know, Feeling confident and important, I then gaze about the stars, Unable to comprehend the distance, Unable to understand the size, Feeling small in the process, I look down from a plane, Little dots moving about, The world I know, The world that is not, A speck on this earth, A speck in this life, Unable to comprehend the little dot that I am, Unable to understand the world that is not.

The First Move and Last My palms feeling sweaty, An escalating heat fills the room, Heart palpitations increasing, Not knowing what I should do, My pulse starts to race, Mouth agape from which no words emanate, Foot twitches rapidly, Stuttering when I begin to speak, Paranoid of her discomfort, Fearful that it’s too soon, Worried about rejection, Not knowing what I should do, Wishing for a magical connection, A mutual telepathic moment, As our heads turn toward one another, And our lips simultaneously converge, Never wanting to make her uncomfortable, An excuse to which I resort, As I sit here and ponder, Not knowing what I should do.

“Self-Reflection” Is it my face? Does she cringe when I’m near? Is it my voice? A sound she can’t stand to hear? Is it my humor? Do my jokes offend? Is it my body? Lacking the muscles? Am I too nice? Thoughts of my not being genuine? Am I too honest? Not ready to hear my thoughts and feelings? Do I make her feel ashamed? Do I make her feel inadequate? Do I make her feel pain? Do I make her feel stressed? Rejected is my love, Rejected is my heart, Not ever knowing why, Not knowing where to start, Stressed by the rejection and drama, Pain lodged deep and rampant, Inadequate feelings I possess, Ashamed of what I remain ignorant.

Looking For Fate Searching in all the wrong places, Never getting it right, Told to stop looking, Fate will decide, I sit at a bar, A woman catches my eye, Do I walk over and say hello? Fate will decide, It’ll happen when I least expect it, Love will find me, She’ll fall into my arms, My soul mate, our destiny, I look all around me, Overwhelmed by the choices, Wanting to stand idly by, To let fate decide, Waiting for my fate, Waiting for my destiny, As the girl of my dreams walks by, Forever regretful for letting fate decide.

Go figure, I released a poetry book 5 years ago (Seasons Come, People Grow), have been trying to spread word about that and my most recent books (The Kind-Hearted Smartass and The Kind-Hearted Smart Aleck) and the former has drawn more attention than the latter. In any case, I've received quite a number of positive reviews in the past couple days: "A Hollywood Fantasy" A Hollywood fantasy, How I wish it were true, Instead I'm stuck in reality, Not knowing what to do. Commentator: "LOVE this part. This one rocks. Like this poem. Wonderful, amazing and beautiful." "A Hypnotic State" Uncertain if I'm dreaming, Or am wide awake, If she's real or a figment of my imagination, As I remain in a hypnotic state. Commentator: "Love this part. This is wonderful and beautiful." "The Shield" Protection from ignorance and lies, Protection from dishonesty and bitterness, Protection from insults and pain, Prote...