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A scale of a nightmare

Two months after I moved to Columbus, which was about 4 years ago, I remember getting out of the shower, looking in the mirror and not liking what I saw. My weight had increased to 186 lbs. and due to my poor workout and eating habits, I wasn't about to see a decrease in my weight anytime soon if I kept things going as they were. So, on that day, I decided to make some changes. I stopped drinking soda pop and sports drinks and went straight to water and water only. I stopped eating junk food. I went from fried meat to grilled. I also began to work out more. I lost a good 20-25 lbs. over the course of the year through these altered habits. I then became ill for a couple years, which prevented me from working out. Fortunately, while I couldn't work out, my eating habits didn't alter and I only gained 5 lbs. back. When I finally got to feeling better, I felt a motivation I had never possessed before and went on to lose another 20-25 lbs. for a total of around 45 lbs. since the time I started. Things were going great until July of last year and I had an emergency gall-bladder surgery to remove my gall bladder and with that, a massive gallstone. The surgery was said to have gone well, but it became very difficult for me to work out, as it hurt to strain that part of my body. Every now and again, I would try to work out, but would ultimately fail and over the months, I've unfortunately given in to some of my old habits of eating some junk food and fried foods, while still only consuming water. For the first time since my surgery last July, I stepped on the scale Friday morning and saw that I had gained 25 lbs. back. I had a feeling I had gained some weight, but as many thought I was too thin upon my losing 45 lbs, I thought some weight gain may have been good, perhaps around 10-15 lbs. I figured that's what I had gained, that I'd be around 155-160. My 30'' jeans still fit. My small-size shirts still fit. To say I was shocked to learn I had gained 25 lbs. would be quite the understatement. That was depressing. All that hard work and dedication and I'm back to where I was just following my feeling better in December of 2010. Fortunately, this came to my attention prior to my diving all the way back to where I was upon my moving here, as I'm 20 lbs. lighter than I was at that point. 

The trouble now will be finding the motivation I had a year ago. I'll be able to alter my eating habits again without much problem, but getting back into the workout routine won't be incredibly easy. I just hope I can turn this around again. Ever since stepping on that scale on Friday, it's all I can think about. I feel fat, lazy, unattractive and as common wisdom would have it, I don't like it. But, I did it once. I'm now cognizant of my ability to do that, so I know I can do it again. Hopefully that started with a workout on Friday and won't end anytime soon.

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