I kind of had my feelings hurt last night. I know didn't mean anything negative by it and was only trying to help, but when she and I traded stories regarding our love lives/dating interests, while I felt I gave some rather thoughtful insights, she provided me with nothing but a series of cliches.
I know people mean well when they go that route, but to me, when someone does that, it tells me that they either don't really know what to say so instead of saying next to nothing in the literal sense, they go this route and in my mind say next to nothing in the figurative, or that they aren't really interested in getting into a long-discussion about matters so they feel the cliches are a good-enough type of band-aid to place over the wound(s).
In either case, I just wish a person would be up-front and honest about it and either say, "I really don't know what to tell you" or "I'm really not in the mood to discuss this right now. Can we talk about it some other time?" They may feel bad about doing this, but it'd be better in the long-run, I'd think.
I can understand. I'm definitely not always in the mood to hear about people's problems and give them decent advice. Heck, I'm rarely in the mood for that. Yet, if I really care about the person and I have sufficient time to spend, I'll do everything in my power to be there as a listener and if called upon to do so, an advice-giver. That's what friends are for, right?
I guess I just see the cliche-filled feedback to be kind of a lazy way of going about things. It just doesn't feel personal. It feels like I'm not being listened to and like a fortune from a fortune cookie or a reading from a daily horoscope, the advice is meant to reach a great quantity of people in general and not me individually.
I've had my share of love/dating problems over the past year or so since I got well health wise and became interested in dating again. So last night, my friend rattled off lines such as, "When it's meant to happen, it will happen." and "Take a deep breath" and "Take a step back" and "Let things be as they are". I almost asked if I was speaking to Yoda.
That kind of hurt, though, especially after I listened to her story regarding a love-interest for so long and provided my insights on the matter. A complete stranger can give me cliched-filled advice. I guess I just expect more from people who actually know me. I'd rather a person who knows me tell me nothing in the literal sense than in the figurative, because even if they tell me something in the figurative, to me, it may mean next to nothing in the literal.
I know people mean well when they go that route, but to me, when someone does that, it tells me that they either don't really know what to say so instead of saying next to nothing in the literal sense, they go this route and in my mind say next to nothing in the figurative, or that they aren't really interested in getting into a long-discussion about matters so they feel the cliches are a good-enough type of band-aid to place over the wound(s).
In either case, I just wish a person would be up-front and honest about it and either say, "I really don't know what to tell you" or "I'm really not in the mood to discuss this right now. Can we talk about it some other time?" They may feel bad about doing this, but it'd be better in the long-run, I'd think.
I can understand. I'm definitely not always in the mood to hear about people's problems and give them decent advice. Heck, I'm rarely in the mood for that. Yet, if I really care about the person and I have sufficient time to spend, I'll do everything in my power to be there as a listener and if called upon to do so, an advice-giver. That's what friends are for, right?
I guess I just see the cliche-filled feedback to be kind of a lazy way of going about things. It just doesn't feel personal. It feels like I'm not being listened to and like a fortune from a fortune cookie or a reading from a daily horoscope, the advice is meant to reach a great quantity of people in general and not me individually.
I've had my share of love/dating problems over the past year or so since I got well health wise and became interested in dating again. So last night, my friend rattled off lines such as, "When it's meant to happen, it will happen." and "Take a deep breath" and "Take a step back" and "Let things be as they are". I almost asked if I was speaking to Yoda.
That kind of hurt, though, especially after I listened to her story regarding a love-interest for so long and provided my insights on the matter. A complete stranger can give me cliched-filled advice. I guess I just expect more from people who actually know me. I'd rather a person who knows me tell me nothing in the literal sense than in the figurative, because even if they tell me something in the figurative, to me, it may mean next to nothing in the literal.
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