In Week 10 of the NFL season, I learned that...
- ...it's quite possible that before his atrocious performance on Thursday night, the red-haired Andy Dalton had 30 red beers to match his completion percentage.
- ...Detroit coaches need to hypnotize their offense to think that, for all 60 minutes, there are under 2 minutes to play in the game.
- ...Michael Vick should start campaigning for a starting job next year by saying, "With this bad team, I can win as many games in two weeks as Geno Smith can win in two months!"
- ...Ben Roethlisberger likely woke up Monday morning, called his coaches, and said, "Today's Sunday, right? Wait - that really happened? Sh*t! I'm going back to bed!"
- ...Oakland coaches' inspiring message to their players this week is, "We had them! We played right with the 7-2 Denver Broncos and were up 10-6 at one point! We may have gotten outscored 35-7 after that, but still, we had them right where we wanted them for a few minutes!"
- ...Eli Manning and Drew Brees will be swapping turnover tips to one another this coming week, before calling Brett Favre and asking him for some advice on the matter.
- ...if Arizona scores two defensive touchdowns every week, it won't matter if their starting quarterback is Carson Palmer, Drew Stanton, Ryan Leaf, or Steve Urkel.
- ...in two weeks, the New Orleans Saints snapped their 7-game road losing streak and their 11-game home winning streak. According to the book of Revelation, those are two signs that the end of the world is near. The third is the Chicago Cubs winning the World Series.
- ...Jay Cutler may soon join Matt Leinart and Heath Shuler in the Dish-Network-going-back-to-college commercial.
- ...Aaron Rodgers won't be telling Chicago Bears fans to "relax" anytime soon, unless he wants to piss them off even further.
- ...it's quite possible that before his atrocious performance on Thursday night, the red-haired Andy Dalton had 30 red beers to match his completion percentage.
- ...Detroit coaches need to hypnotize their offense to think that, for all 60 minutes, there are under 2 minutes to play in the game.
- ...Michael Vick should start campaigning for a starting job next year by saying, "With this bad team, I can win as many games in two weeks as Geno Smith can win in two months!"
- ...Ben Roethlisberger likely woke up Monday morning, called his coaches, and said, "Today's Sunday, right? Wait - that really happened? Sh*t! I'm going back to bed!"
- ...Oakland coaches' inspiring message to their players this week is, "We had them! We played right with the 7-2 Denver Broncos and were up 10-6 at one point! We may have gotten outscored 35-7 after that, but still, we had them right where we wanted them for a few minutes!"
- ...Eli Manning and Drew Brees will be swapping turnover tips to one another this coming week, before calling Brett Favre and asking him for some advice on the matter.
- ...if Arizona scores two defensive touchdowns every week, it won't matter if their starting quarterback is Carson Palmer, Drew Stanton, Ryan Leaf, or Steve Urkel.
- ...in two weeks, the New Orleans Saints snapped their 7-game road losing streak and their 11-game home winning streak. According to the book of Revelation, those are two signs that the end of the world is near. The third is the Chicago Cubs winning the World Series.
- ...Jay Cutler may soon join Matt Leinart and Heath Shuler in the Dish-Network-going-back-to-college commercial.
- ...Aaron Rodgers won't be telling Chicago Bears fans to "relax" anytime soon, unless he wants to piss them off even further.
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