Skip to main content

What I learned in Week 10 of the NFL season...

In Week 10 of the NFL season, I learned that...

- ...it's quite possible that before his atrocious performance on Thursday night, the red-haired Andy Dalton had 30 red beers to match his completion percentage.

- ...Detroit coaches need to hypnotize their offense to think that, for all 60 minutes, there are under 2 minutes to play in the game.

- ...Michael Vick should start campaigning for a starting job next year by saying, "With this bad team, I can win as many games in two weeks as Geno Smith can win in two months!"

- ...Ben Roethlisberger likely woke up Monday morning, called his coaches, and said, "Today's Sunday, right? Wait - that really happened? Sh*t! I'm going back to bed!"

- ...Oakland coaches' inspiring message to their players this week is, "We had them! We played right with the 7-2 Denver Broncos and were up 10-6 at one point! We may have gotten outscored 35-7 after that, but still, we had them right where we wanted them for a few minutes!"

- ...Eli Manning and Drew Brees will be swapping turnover tips to one another this coming week, before calling Brett Favre and asking him for some advice on the matter.

- ...if Arizona scores two defensive touchdowns every week, it won't matter if their starting quarterback is Carson Palmer, Drew Stanton, Ryan Leaf, or Steve Urkel.

- ...in two weeks, the New Orleans Saints snapped their 7-game road losing streak and their 11-game home winning streak. According to the book of Revelation, those are two signs that the end of the world is near. The third is the Chicago Cubs winning the World Series.

- ...Jay Cutler may soon join Matt Leinart and Heath Shuler in the Dish-Network-going-back-to-college commercial.

- ...Aaron Rodgers won't be telling Chicago Bears fans to "relax" anytime soon, unless he wants to piss them off even further.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...

Trump's Lie Tally at the CNN Debate

1) "We had the greatest economy in the history of our country. We had never done so well. Every – everybody was amazed by it. Other countries were copying us." 2) "But the thing we never got the credit for, and we should have, is getting us out of that COVID mess." 3) "The only jobs he created are for illegal immigrants and bounceback jobs; they’re bounced back from the COVID." 4) "Not going to drive them higher. It’s just going to cause countries that have been ripping us off for years, like China and many others, in all fairness to China – it’s going to just force them to pay us a lot of money, reduce our deficit tremendously, and give us a lot of power for other things." (tariffs) 5) "He also said he inherited 9 percent inflation." 6) "No, he inherited almost no inflation and it stayed that way for 14 months. And then it blew up under his leadership, because they spent money like a bunch of people that didn’t know what t...