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What I learned in Week 9 of the NFL season

In Week 9 of the NFL season, I learned that...

- ...New Orleans can win as many road games every year as there are February 14ths.

- ...Jim Harbaugh is wondering if the Kansas City Chiefs would be willing to trade Alex Smith for Colin Kaepernick - that or if he should go back to college.

- ...Michael Vick is secretly wishing he was still hurt so he wouldn't be forced to start for the New York Jets ever again.

- ...Mark Sanchez's biggest fear is to have a butt-fumble-part-deux while starting in Philadelphia (that or his first penis fumble).

- ..., even after passing for 438 yards and seeing his defense (and special teams) give up 43 points on Sunday, Denver Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning decided to take the blame, saying, "If I had just yelled 'Omaha' a few more times, maybe we could have scored more points than we did."

- ..., slipping to 6-3 following two consecutive losses, Dallas Cowboys players and management got in touch with their inner-Dennis Green and said, "We've been .500 for how many years now? We are who they thought we were!"

- ...Cam Newton is starting to worry that the little boy starring across from him in a commercial will soon take his starting job.

- ...the San Diego Chargers will be scheduled to have a series of meetings this week, all called, "WTF Was That?"

- ..., after their 8th consecutive loss, Oakland Raiders players and coaches all said something close to, "We put in a lot of hard work and effort week in and week out to find ways to lose at the end of games."

- ...Ben Roethlisberger hasn't removed his Superman costume for the past couple of weeks.

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