Skip to main content

Jesus' First Words Upon His Return

Gracefully dropping from the sky, held up by a funky looking parachute, Jesus made his long-awaited return to earth this past weekend. He was decked out in a robe, sandals, and shades that would even make CSI : Miami's Horatio Caine jealous. An incredible light surrounded him which can only be summed up in one word - sunlight. As his feet gently hit the ground, he remained quiet, as everyone started pointing small screens at him, from which they were just speaking into. Some even came up next to him and held up this very screen in front of the two of them while clicking a button of some kind and then walking away. Then the moment finally arrived - the one everyone had been waiting for since JC's demise and rise. Someone even started playing the Dave Matthews Band song, "What Would You Say?," before Jesus silenced them. He then looked from side to side, cleared his throat, grabbed a microphone that hadn't existed previously, and said, "WTF?!?" before snapping his fingers and vanishing.

It's unknown where Jesus went after that, but rumor has it he's been bar-hopping across the world and continually asking for the Three Wise Men.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...

Face guarding is legal in college football and the NFL

I just wanted to remind fans and announcers especially, that face guarding is legal in both college football and the NFL. It all comes down to contact. So long as a defender doesn't make contact with an intended receiver, he doesn't have to turn around to play the ball. I can't tell you how many times every week I hear announcers talk about face guarding being a penalty. It's not. I even heard one announcer yesterday state, "If the defender doesn't turn around and play the ball, the ref will call pass interference every time." That's simply not true. Courtesy of referee Bill LeMonnier, he says this with regard to the rule at the college level (answered on 8/12/13): "NCAA rules on pass interference require the face guarding to have contact to be a foul. No contact, no foul by NCAA rules." In the NFL rule book, this is written:  "Actions that constitute defensive pass interference include but are not limited to: (a) Contact by a ...