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GOP proposes handing out drivers licenses without taking written, visual, or driving tests

In response to Congressional Democrats' sarcastic suggestion of legally handing out drivers licenses without the requirement of passing written, visual, or driving tests when discussing their opposition to handing out gun permits without any required testing, Republicans have (un)surprisingly taken the sarcasm seriously and are set to pass such legislation in the House. If the bill passes, it would permit anyone over the age of 16 to start driving a car without having passed any written, visual, or driving tests.

When we caught up with House Republicans regarding the controversial measure, here's what a few of the representatives had to say:

- "Cars don't kill people; people kill people - sometimes in cars!" - Louie Gohmert (Texas)

- "Criminals will always find a way to break the law, so why should we take cars away from law-abiding citizens, even blind ones?" - Steve King (Iowa)

- "Who the hell cares? It's like walking; it doesn't take a rocket surgeon to figure this stuff out!" - John Boehner (Ohio, after drinking three shots of vodka)

To this point, surveys indicate that the public is more opposed to this potential law than cable companies are of providing specific arrival times. According to the most recent such poll, conducted by Washington Post/ABC, 99% of the public is opposed to this law and 1% is in support of it. It's the most lopsided poll we've seen since the country was asked, "Is George W. Bush actually smarter than a 5th grader?," and similarly, 99% responded "no," while 1% responded "yes."

In response to the backlash, the Republican National Committee responded with the following statement:

"Who are you more worried about, blind untested 16-year-olds driving cars near where you live or terrorists like 16,000 miles away? Let's get a grip on reality, people!"

NRA Executive Vice President Wayne LaPierre echoed the RNC's sentiments, saying, "The only way to stop a bad guy with a car is a good guy with a car!"

If it makes his desk, President Obama has promised to veto the bill, saying, "I won't even need my angry f**king translator if that sh*t happens!"

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