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In or out of office, Allen West is cray-cray

Now out of office, former Florida Congressman Allen West is at it again, making it clearly known to everyone in the world that two-and-a-half years after his failed reelection bid, he's as crazy as ever.

The former congressman, who loves conspiracies more than dogs love sniffing butts, recently wrote about the following Walmart experience on his blog:

"There was a young man doing the checkout and another Walmart employee came over and put up a sign, 'No alcohol products in this lane.' So being the inquisitive fella I am, I used my additional set of eyes - glasses - to see the young checkout man's name. Let me just say it was NOT 'Steve.'

I pointed the sign out to [my daughter] Aubrey and her response was a simple question, how is it that this Muslim employee could refuse service to customers based on his religious beliefs, but Christians are being forced to participate in specific events contrary to their religious beliefs?"

Not long after West's post, he updated it by writing this:

"EDITOR's UPDATE: We spoke to the Walmart store, and apparently employees under 21 years old are prohibited from selling cigarettes and alcohol. However, that isn't to say Walmart isn't selectively caving to Muslim demands, such as this case regarding Halal meat in Ohio."

Yes, Allen West thought that this allegedly Muslim Walmart employee wasn't selling alcohol because of his religious beliefs and it was part of some grand conspiracy. After (re)learning that he's an idiot, West still contended that even though he was wrong this one time, that doesn't mean there still isn't this grand religious conspiracy at work here.

Given this story, expect to hear Allen West make the following statements at some point in the future:

Setting: At an Indian vegetarian restaurant

Raj Naan: "What can I get for you today, sir?"

Allen West: "I'd like the steak, medium-rare."

Raj: "Sir, I'm sorry, but I can't do that."

West: "You're joking, right? This is because I'm a Christian, isn't it?"

Raj: "Sir, this is a vegetarian restaurant; we don't serve meat."

West: "Well, that's un-American! Get me a steak and get it now or else I'll press charges on the grounds of religious persecution!"

Raj: "Jesus..." :: walks away ::

West: "Yes, Jesus! He will come again, will save me, and will not save un-Christian non-meat eaters like you! Damn you all to hell!"


Setting: Seeing a 10-year-old boy at a park while with his daughter

Allen West :: walks up to the kid :: "I'd like to buy a pack of cigarettes."

Joey Littleton: "Don't have any."

West: "What? WHAT?!? Is this because I'm a Christian?!? I'm taking this up with the authorities!"

Joey: "Yeah, me too..."


Setting: At a bar

Allen West: "Excuse me, bartender? I'd like new tires and my oil changed."

Bartender Lorraine Sassy: "A what and a what?"

West: "What are you, deaf?"

Sassy: "No, I'm a bartender, not a f**king mechanic. Get your new tires and oil changed somewhere else. We don't do that here."

West: "Tell me something, are you a Muslim or an Atheist?"

Sassy: "What's it to you?"

West: "Well, it so happens that I'm a Christian, know some pretty powerful people, and if these powerful people find out you didn't do my tires or oil because of you not agreeing with my religious beliefs, you'll go down; you'll go down hard! This whole place will go down!"

Sassy: "Go for it, putz. I'd love to see their reactions after you tell them you asked for new tires and an oil change at a bar. While you're at it, why don't you go to a car dealership and ask for a new house or a bookstore and ask for a corvette? Better yet, why don't you go to a confessional and ask for a blowjob? Nevermind, that one might actually work."

http://jezebel.com/ex-congressman-allen-west-thought-he-got-sharia-law-ed-1703866290

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