Skip to main content

What I learned in Week 4 of the NFL Season

In Week 4 of the NFL season, I learned that...

- ...it's likely being proposed that the league supply all quarterbacks with a lifetime supply of Huggies.

- ...Earl Thomas is a practicing member of the MFCC (Middle Finger Cardio Club).

- ..., after their performance against the New England Patriots on Sunday, the Miami Dolphins are thinking about changing their team nickname to the Beached Whales.

- ...overtimes are now more common than Stephen A. Smith yelling about auditioning as a mime in his sleep.

- ...the "Steel Curtain" is now made of already-torn paper.

- ...it ain't over until it's over, unless you're the Atlanta Falcons and are up by fewer than 7 points with under 10 seconds left to play. Then you've lost.

- ...NFL teams will soon invest in human cloning, with Khalil Mack being the primary focus. The secondary focus will be on Tim Tebow for waterboy.

- ..., for a limited time only, you can purchase a bottle of Fitz Magic in the Tampa area. The positive effects last up to 3 weeks. Side effects include: A beard so long and thick, 95% of male porn stars will be jealous.

- ...The Rams' next April Fool's Day prank on Jared Goff will likely be an announcement they're bringing Jeff Fisher back to coach him.

- ...Contributing to the Fumbling of a Quarterback is apparently illegal in the state of California.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun...

Trump's Lie Tally at the CNN Debate

1) "We had the greatest economy in the history of our country. We had never done so well. Every – everybody was amazed by it. Other countries were copying us." 2) "But the thing we never got the credit for, and we should have, is getting us out of that COVID mess." 3) "The only jobs he created are for illegal immigrants and bounceback jobs; they’re bounced back from the COVID." 4) "Not going to drive them higher. It’s just going to cause countries that have been ripping us off for years, like China and many others, in all fairness to China – it’s going to just force them to pay us a lot of money, reduce our deficit tremendously, and give us a lot of power for other things." (tariffs) 5) "He also said he inherited 9 percent inflation." 6) "No, he inherited almost no inflation and it stayed that way for 14 months. And then it blew up under his leadership, because they spent money like a bunch of people that didn’t know what t...