Skip to main content

What I learned in Week 5 of the NFL season

In Week 5 of the NFL season, I learned that...

- ...former Boston Red Sox pitcher Tim Wakefield has asked Cleveland Browns kicker Greg Joseph for lessons on how to kick a knuckleball.

- ..., while Carolina Panthers kicker Graham Gano was handed a Get Laid Free card by the team's cheerleaders, Green Bay Packers kicker Mason Crosby will soon star in the film, The 34-Year-Old Born Again Virgin.

- ..., after turning the ball over five times against them, Jacksonville Jaguars quarterback Blake Bortles has been announced as the Kansas City Chiefs Player of the Week.

- ..., after starting 2-3, former head coach Jimmy Johnson reportedly, in a drunken state, shouted, "How 'bout them Cowboys?," after singing "Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy)" at a Fox Sports karaoke bash.

- ..., prior to Sunday night's game against the Houston Texans, Dallas Cowboys quarterback Dak Prescott's biggest fear was clowns. Now it's Clowney.

- ..., after he threw 2 interceptions compared to 0 touchdown passes, Cris Collinsworth called Patrick Mahomes "unstoppable." Rumor has it, if Mahomes pulled a Blake Bortles and turned it over five times, Collinsworth would say, "I don't ever say this, but is that Tom Brady out there? I mean, seriously, this is just unbelievable!"

- ...the NFL has altered the saying "Rules are rules" to "What's this rule again? Are you sure? Didn't it change last week? What's your horoscope say?"

- ...Eli Manning is in jeopardy of being replaced by Odell Beckham, Jr. If that happens, chances are good he'll attempt to throw 20 passes per game to himself.

- ..., when the Tennessee Titans declared no one could win uglier, the Buffalo Bills told them to hold their Flying Bisons (a beer in Buffalo; Google it).

- ...the life of a kicker in the NFL is like a random, seemingly useless scene in a murder mystery film, for no matter how out of place they may seem at the time, they tend to help ultimately decide the outcome.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Boycotting jukeboxes because of TouchTunes

I love music and enjoy hitting the bar(s) over the weekend, so naturally, when the mood strikes me, I've never been coy about playing some songs on the jukebox. This past Thursday, a friend of mine turned 50, so several friends of her's, including myself, all met up to celebrate the occasion. At around 9:30, a friend of mine and I both chipped in $5 to play some songs on the jukebox. Four hours and 231 skips later, we gave up on hearing the songs we had selected, and went home knowing we had just wasted $5. This wasn't the first time such a thing had happened to me (and many others), and due to that, I'll be boycotting jukeboxes. Why? The scam known as TouchTunes. You see, here's how the plot typically breaks down. A person (or group of people) downloads the TouchTunes app on his/her phone, consumes one too many adult beverages, and due to this, has less care for spending extra money to hear the songs of their choosing right NOW. That's the thing with TouchTun
2 comments
Read more

The difference between "looking" and "checking out"

I may be way off with these numbers, but it's my approximation that at least 75% of individuals whom are involved in a serious relationship feel it's perfectly acceptable to "check out" members of the opposite sex they're not involved with. Meanwhile, approximately 25% either don't feel this is acceptable or aren't sure about the matter. I hadn't thought about this matter for a while, but since I've been dating a woman for about 8 months, the topic has been pondered about some. When reading or hearing others discuss this very issue, I often times hear comments similar to the following: "It's human nature to look." "There's nothing wrong with checking others out. I'm sure he/she does it too!" "It's fine to do it. Just don't tell your boyfriend/girlfriend about it or do it in front of them!" "It's natural to find people attractive." When observing the array of comments, I i
Post a Comment
Read more

The verdict is in. To no one's surprise, Jonathan Hoenig has been found guilty of being an idiot.

Just recently, when discussing the Michael Brown shooting and whether or not race had anything to do with it, Fox News contributor Jonathan Hoenig said, "You know who talks about race? Racists." One moment while I provide Mr. Hoenig with the well deserved slow-clap. :: slow-claps for two seconds :: So, that was quite the line by Mr. Hoenig, wasn't it? "You know who talks about race? Racists." Well, wasn't he just talking about race? So, by his own words, I guess that makes him a racist. Also, if he wants to be consistent, does this mean that people whom talk about gender are sexists and people whom talk about sexual orientation are homophobes? With that line of thinking, Hoenig would engage in the following back-and-forths: Hoenig: "So, who are you voting for?" A woman: "The Democratic candidate, because he's been adamant about his support for equal rights for women." Hoenig: "You sexist feminist nazi!"
Post a Comment
Read more