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Transcript for Podcast: "I Feel Snitty," Episode 38: "You Apparently Can’t Spell Leadership T-R-U-M-P," is now available!

Podcast: "I Feel Snitty"

Episode 38: You Apparently Can’t Spell Leadership T-R-U-M-P

Premiere Date: 3/25/20

Length: 6:20 (945 words)

Link: https://ifeelsnitty.podbean.com/e/you-apparently-can-t-spell-leadership-t-r-u-m-p/

Transcript:

Welcome to I Feel Snitty, episode 38, entitled, “You Apparently Can’t Spell Leadership T-R-U-M-P.” I’m your host, Craig Rozniecki.

Kids, take note. If you ever want to be a leader, especially in a time of emergency, watch Donald Trump. Watch him very closely and then do the exact opposite.

As it’s been several weeks since the pandemic initially struck America, I think we can now safely gauge what Trump’s mindset is during times of crisis. Sadly, it’s merely identical to his mindset in every other situation.

Here’s a step-by-step rundown:

Step 1: Deny the crisis exists.

Step 2: Downplay the crisis when it comes to light that it does in fact exist.

Step 3: No matter how bad the crisis gets, tell people he’s got things under control.

Step 4: Blame someone else.

Step 5: Give himself an A+ grade.

Step 6: Constantly tell the people he’s doing something instead of actually doing something.

Step 7: Contradict his own doctors’ advice, because he thinks he knows better than them.

Step 8: Lie, lie, and lie some more.

Step 9: Rile the base by using a racist term to describe the crisis.

Step 10: Never take any kind of responsibility.

Step 11: Repeat steps 1 through 10.

That’s basically it. Do you remember when legends such as Michael Jordan or Tom Brady were coming off a disappointing loss? Here’s what they didn’t say…

“Yeah, I guess I am the only person doing anything on this team. Everyone around me sucks. The coach doesn’t know what in the hell he’s doing. The refs were awful. Bench? What bench? The bench has never been warmer due to those lazy asses. They suck! Everyone else sucks! This is on them! Hell, this is on everyone else on the team now and before us! The guys who led this team 5, 10 years ago, won some championships, and put us in even better shape to succeed? Yeah, they built this culture of suckitude, bigly!”

No, greats like that always took responsibility, even if they played the game of their lives. It didn’t matter. They tried lifting their teammates’ spirits up, bringing their team together, and encouraging a culture of togetherness, preparation, responsibility, and winning.

Donald Trump isn’t like that. When things go his way, even if he had nothing to do with said success, he’ll take full credit for it. When things don’t go his way, even if it’s his fault, he’ll deflect blame onto someone else. Not only that, but instead of doing what’s best for the people and accurately informing them of what’s going on, to limit their risk of illness and potential death, he’ll constantly lie through his teeth, sacrificing others’ health and well-being for his own ego. For him, it’s not about people actually dying. No, it’s about a large enough quantity of people dying which would then make him look bad. If this were a nationwide fire, I’d expect Trump to respond like this:

“Fire? What fire? There’s no fire. I haven’t seen any fire. Have you seen any fire? No, no, that’s a fake fire! Democratic hoax! Hydrant hoax! Billy Joel lyrics are a hoax! Wait, ‘we didn’t start the fire.’ Okay, I guess that’s true, but still, no fire.

Okay, I just got a report that 15 people are burning in the fire. Okay, so I guess there is a fire, but it’s like the smallest fire you’ve ever felt, believe me. Look, there are 15 people burning today. That number will go down in a couple days, perhaps to zero. I don’t know. How long does it take for fires to go out on their own? Whatever. They’ll stop burning eventually.

Wait, 40,000 people are now burning in the fire? Well, like I said, 15 people were burning and the number would go down soon. I hate to say I told you so, but yeah, I did.

What is that back there? The fire? That same fire? It’s spreading? Well, I hate to do this, but this is the fault of the Obama administration. I fired all the members of his Hoes and Hydrants Force for situations like this. If he hadn’t have created this department, I wouldn’t have had to end it, and we’d still be without hoes, hydrants, and the fire would continue to get biglier. So, yeah, his fault.

I know a lot of you are calling this the Pyropocalypse,, but let’s just call it what it is – the Canada Blaze. It started there. They warned me. I didn’t listen. Their fault. Canada Blaze.

Whoa, that fire is getting really close now. It’s actually getting a little warmer. You see, folks? Global warming is a Canadian hoax! Anyway, don’t let this little fire disrupt your lives in any way. I’ve got this thing under complete control. In fact, if you’re cold, just go in the fire. You’ll warm up, no problem. Wanna barbecue? Just hold some hot dogs and burgers on a baseball bat near the fire. In 5 minutes, it’ll be done. Best meal ever, trust me. I also heard from one guy, the best guy I know – they said, after a shower, instead of a hair-dryer, just put your hair in the fire. It’ll be dry in no time. Perfectly safe. Remember, doctor’s orders.

Oh, shit, it’s coming right for us! We’re all going to burn! I got this under control! I said I got this under control! Democratic hoax!”

…and scene.

That’s it for today’s episode. I’ll see you again next week. Until then, check me out on Podbean, Twitter, Amazon, and Blogspot. This has been I Feel Snitty with Craig Rozniecki. Take care.

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